Today was awful emotionally.
I got on the scale and it was 215.0 even, so yay! down some weigh again. Must have been all the Zumba and the good eating.
Work is insanely stressful- to the point that I am taking 2 Xanax a day (previously, I might have taken one a month) I actually had a few breakdowns today where on my breaks I just openly sobbed until I had to go back. Part of me realizes that from Christmas through January is the busiest month for the Company but still... the other half of me just wants to quit so bad.
I don't think I've ever wanted to quit anything as bad as I do now. I feel like such a loser admitting that, but this is worse than the other company I worked for when they were laying off everyone.
This is more stress than I felt working 50 hours a week, going to school full time, and starting to plan my life together with Brian.
I really don't think that I am cut out to be a customer support agent. I don't really like talking to people and that's all this job is!
But I promised myself that I will stick with it through the month of January, and if I *still* hate it and I am *still* stressed out, I am going to quit.
Sorry I'm not sorry.
On that note: I ordered pizza tonight- half chicken bbq and half pepperoni for Brian. I ate all my half . It was delicious and it was worth it.
He took my last name when we got married. I took on the challenge of motherhood and losing the 80 lbs I gained
Showing posts with label pizza. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pizza. Show all posts
Friday, December 31, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Winter Projects
What do you do in the winter to keep yourself from going insane and jumping out the window?
How do you manage to hold on to the hope that spring is coming and the winter weather isn't a sign of the apocalypse?
Most people undertake a project or two to keep them occupied. Some do it with their SO's. I thought about it, what should Brian and I do together to stay sane when it's negative bazillion degrees outside and its so white that even I look like I have a tan in comparison?
Puzzles?
Scrapbooking?
Video games?
Hibernating? (I voted for this one, but Brian said no)
We are actually rebuilding a computer. Yes, that is what geeks do. And by "we" I really mean he is doing it all, I ask some questions, and then get bored and go take a nap. Or I make him pizza rolls.
So far, its been fun. I have a desktop that is pretty "old"- circa 2004- and there has always been something wrong with it. It boots up fine, but if you restart it, it doesn't want to load up Windows XP anymore. So we are on a mission to figure it out. I spent some time scouring through Microsoft's Support website (which is very helpful) while he actually tore into it and got his hands dirty (literally- it was caked in dust)
It's been worked on before, and lots of the components have already been replaced, but its still a nice little challenge for us. He really wants it to work, and I am all to happy to oblige. And who are we kidding? Pizza rolls are delicious!
Today we did a bit of xmas shopping. I had to buy some ingredients for gift jars (hot chocolate and cookies) and we needed a new power cord for the computer anyway. We went to Five Guys Burgers and Fries (omg, so good.... so soo good) and they have the best burgers I have ever had. I got the "little" burger which is a quarter pound, and Brian got the "big" burger which is nearly half a pound. We split an order of fries, and didn't even finish those!
I have no idea on the points value of that. Holy shit! no wonder it was the best burger ever, it was 17 points for the burger alone! I had maybe 10 fries since the burger was so filling. Wow. Ok.
Then we hung out with friends after shopping. Where they kindly ordered pizza, and I kindly did not devour it all. I had three small pieces, and 2 bread sticks. (for an estimated 17 points)
I have to admit I have been slacking on the tracking lately. I haven't stepped on a scale in a few days. When I went to the chiro and got on the digital scale it said 218.5 (!!) but that was with clothes on and breakfast in my tummy. Usually I weigh naked first thing every morning. Need to get back on that.
I also need to start exercising again. I really do intend to do it... it just never happens! I need to now, especially for my knee. The muscles are still tender (probably because they had all but atrophied over the 6 years) Brian said that he would help me with my exercises too. He's going to massage my knee before bed and then let me do my exercises.
Most of tomorrow will be spent doing some training for work and studying for another test we have on Monday. These tests are brutal! I am a great test taker normally- I usually ace all of the tests in school (I never did homework though, so my grades never reflected that). But here's the thing: In school, whether it was high school or college, if you flunked a test, it was no big deal. Even if you failed the class, it was no big deal. In high school you got shuffled to the next one, in college you retake it. But for this job? If you get under an 80% you get FIRED. Yeah, fired. You have two attempts to get 80% or better. And they are tricky, hard, angry questions. I don't really stress too much, but I can tell I panic the day of the test because usually I fly through a test and can score high. No, I am so paranoid, that it takes me nearly an hour and a half to answer 30 questions.
But I am still gainfully employed thus far and will study my little butt off.
If all goes well, I graduate training on Wednesday and start on the job training or "nesting" on Thursday. Soon I will be all growed up! sniff, sniff!
I can't wait. I just hope my first live phone call isn't something I can't fix, or it's not just a transfer. That would be lame.
I made gift jars for a lot of Brian's family (and some of mine) I made chocolate chip cookie mix and hot chocolate mix, and got it all ready to go. Except my kitchen is now a mess (like its ever clean) and there is flour, sugar, and bittersweet cocoa powder all over!
Hope that you all are having a safe Christmas, don't get trampled by any crazy people who forgot wrapping paper while you are out and about! Lord knows how nuts those freaks are! (Just wrap it in newspaper, fercryin'outloud!)
How do you manage to hold on to the hope that spring is coming and the winter weather isn't a sign of the apocalypse?
Most people undertake a project or two to keep them occupied. Some do it with their SO's. I thought about it, what should Brian and I do together to stay sane when it's negative bazillion degrees outside and its so white that even I look like I have a tan in comparison?
Puzzles?
Scrapbooking?
Video games?
Hibernating? (I voted for this one, but Brian said no)
We are actually rebuilding a computer. Yes, that is what geeks do. And by "we" I really mean he is doing it all, I ask some questions, and then get bored and go take a nap. Or I make him pizza rolls.
So far, its been fun. I have a desktop that is pretty "old"- circa 2004- and there has always been something wrong with it. It boots up fine, but if you restart it, it doesn't want to load up Windows XP anymore. So we are on a mission to figure it out. I spent some time scouring through Microsoft's Support website (which is very helpful) while he actually tore into it and got his hands dirty (literally- it was caked in dust)
It's been worked on before, and lots of the components have already been replaced, but its still a nice little challenge for us. He really wants it to work, and I am all to happy to oblige. And who are we kidding? Pizza rolls are delicious!
Today we did a bit of xmas shopping. I had to buy some ingredients for gift jars (hot chocolate and cookies) and we needed a new power cord for the computer anyway. We went to Five Guys Burgers and Fries (omg, so good.... so soo good) and they have the best burgers I have ever had. I got the "little" burger which is a quarter pound, and Brian got the "big" burger which is nearly half a pound. We split an order of fries, and didn't even finish those!
I have no idea on the points value of that. Holy shit! no wonder it was the best burger ever, it was 17 points for the burger alone! I had maybe 10 fries since the burger was so filling. Wow. Ok.
Then we hung out with friends after shopping. Where they kindly ordered pizza, and I kindly did not devour it all. I had three small pieces, and 2 bread sticks. (for an estimated 17 points)
I have to admit I have been slacking on the tracking lately. I haven't stepped on a scale in a few days. When I went to the chiro and got on the digital scale it said 218.5 (!!) but that was with clothes on and breakfast in my tummy. Usually I weigh naked first thing every morning. Need to get back on that.
I also need to start exercising again. I really do intend to do it... it just never happens! I need to now, especially for my knee. The muscles are still tender (probably because they had all but atrophied over the 6 years) Brian said that he would help me with my exercises too. He's going to massage my knee before bed and then let me do my exercises.
Most of tomorrow will be spent doing some training for work and studying for another test we have on Monday. These tests are brutal! I am a great test taker normally- I usually ace all of the tests in school (I never did homework though, so my grades never reflected that). But here's the thing: In school, whether it was high school or college, if you flunked a test, it was no big deal. Even if you failed the class, it was no big deal. In high school you got shuffled to the next one, in college you retake it. But for this job? If you get under an 80% you get FIRED. Yeah, fired. You have two attempts to get 80% or better. And they are tricky, hard, angry questions. I don't really stress too much, but I can tell I panic the day of the test because usually I fly through a test and can score high. No, I am so paranoid, that it takes me nearly an hour and a half to answer 30 questions.
But I am still gainfully employed thus far and will study my little butt off.
If all goes well, I graduate training on Wednesday and start on the job training or "nesting" on Thursday. Soon I will be all growed up! sniff, sniff!
I can't wait. I just hope my first live phone call isn't something I can't fix, or it's not just a transfer. That would be lame.
I made gift jars for a lot of Brian's family (and some of mine) I made chocolate chip cookie mix and hot chocolate mix, and got it all ready to go. Except my kitchen is now a mess (like its ever clean) and there is flour, sugar, and bittersweet cocoa powder all over!
Hope that you all are having a safe Christmas, don't get trampled by any crazy people who forgot wrapping paper while you are out and about! Lord knows how nuts those freaks are! (Just wrap it in newspaper, fercryin'outloud!)
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Some Changes
I've noticed some changes in my body. Some non-scale victories, if you will. I've had plenty of scale victories, so I will share a few more.
-Underneath my enormous bosom, there was a layer of fat on top of my ribcage. I couldn't feel my ribs at all. Now I can and that layer of fat is slowly melting away. There is a little divot in the skin where my breastbone is. Exciting! I noticed but didn't say anything until one night when Brian mentioned it first. It's really neat when your partner tells you something they noticed.
-My stomach is obviously smaller. This is where I store all my fat (besides my naturally ample arse) so my boobs/hips are looking a lot bigger because I actually have a waist now. It is noticeable!
-Along the same lines as my stomach shrinking- when I suck my stomach in, it actually moves! Which means there is less fat in between the muscle and skin and therefore I can suck in now! Pretty sad when you can't tell when a person is sucking in :(
-My clothes are really getting too big now. I have to stop and constantly yank up my pants. I need to find my belts and see if they fit so I can keep my pants on! It's hard to look sexy dancing when you stop and pull up your pants Urkel style.
-I feel a lot sexier. I can't stop touching my curves, my legs, looking into the mirror for long periods of time. I've always been a little narcassistic but now it's just getting ridiculous. I can't wait until I am even thinner.
-I'll let you in on a little secret: I can't eat as much as I used to either! We went out to a pizza joint and got an x-large pizza, two salads (mine was huge) and an order of breadsticks. The reason we ordered so much food was we had to spend $35 to use this $25 gift certificate. I ate a third of my salad (grilled chicken, green onion, mushroom, cheddar cheese with low-fat ranch over iceberg lettuce - 6 pts) two breadsticks (4 pts each) and 1 piece of pizza and I was stuffed! (pizza- thin crust, pepperoni, mushroom, easy cheese, onion and green pepper- 6 pts)
I didn't eat anything else all night!
I did have a diet Pepsi and it tasted like heaven on earth. How am I going to go back to my tea/lemonade mix??
So there you go some NSVs to tide you over until tomorrows weigh in (which is awesome, I assure you)
-Underneath my enormous bosom, there was a layer of fat on top of my ribcage. I couldn't feel my ribs at all. Now I can and that layer of fat is slowly melting away. There is a little divot in the skin where my breastbone is. Exciting! I noticed but didn't say anything until one night when Brian mentioned it first. It's really neat when your partner tells you something they noticed.
-My stomach is obviously smaller. This is where I store all my fat (besides my naturally ample arse) so my boobs/hips are looking a lot bigger because I actually have a waist now. It is noticeable!
-Along the same lines as my stomach shrinking- when I suck my stomach in, it actually moves! Which means there is less fat in between the muscle and skin and therefore I can suck in now! Pretty sad when you can't tell when a person is sucking in :(
-My clothes are really getting too big now. I have to stop and constantly yank up my pants. I need to find my belts and see if they fit so I can keep my pants on! It's hard to look sexy dancing when you stop and pull up your pants Urkel style.
-I feel a lot sexier. I can't stop touching my curves, my legs, looking into the mirror for long periods of time. I've always been a little narcassistic but now it's just getting ridiculous. I can't wait until I am even thinner.
-I'll let you in on a little secret: I can't eat as much as I used to either! We went out to a pizza joint and got an x-large pizza, two salads (mine was huge) and an order of breadsticks. The reason we ordered so much food was we had to spend $35 to use this $25 gift certificate. I ate a third of my salad (grilled chicken, green onion, mushroom, cheddar cheese with low-fat ranch over iceberg lettuce - 6 pts) two breadsticks (4 pts each) and 1 piece of pizza and I was stuffed! (pizza- thin crust, pepperoni, mushroom, easy cheese, onion and green pepper- 6 pts)
I didn't eat anything else all night!
I did have a diet Pepsi and it tasted like heaven on earth. How am I going to go back to my tea/lemonade mix??
So there you go some NSVs to tide you over until tomorrows weigh in (which is awesome, I assure you)
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