Worst Run Ever Best Feeling Ever

I had my worst run today- barely shy of 3 miles in 30 minutes. That meant I was averaging more than a 10 minute mile on the elliptical, when my average is just shy of 8 minutes a mile.

Why was it so hard? Probably because I conveniently forgot to go last week at all. I pretty much did not go this week either, until today. It was so nice to sweat though! I can't let the numbers ruin me, I was too high on the feelings and letting go of all the stress I have built up over the last few days.

I feel like a million bucks right now... frolicking through the meadow. What you thought I meant cash? I'm talking about deer!

I wish I had a million dollars though!

Tomorrow is Good Friday, but today is Great Thursday. Haven't you heard?

Well despite being told that I just wasn't liked by a company yesterday, I got one potential interview lined up from another today, and one definite interview lined up!

One company loved my app and said that they were looking to hire more employees but the General Manager was out of town until Monday and to call back after then and see about setting up an interview (score!)

Another today- I had turned in an app to a restaurant I wasn't sure was hiring but decided to give it a go anyway (can't hurt right?) and I got to talk to the manager. They said that they were definitely hiring and especially hiring for the position I applied for, and wanted to know if it would be okay to call me Monday? It would be 2 weeks before I could start working there, was that okay? And yes, it was! I even made the guy laugh! Always a plus! It doesn't hurt that Brian got a few good pieces of information as well today :) Let's keep the good news coming... lots of happy thoughts and prayers for us please!

I'm so tired. Time for a nap.

Wednesday: C25K Week 1 Redux

So its another running day. I absolutely am looking forward to getting my run on.

I saw this fantastic quote on Twitter from Running Quotes that my friend Lindsay retweeted...

"If you run, you are a runner...There is no test to pass, no license to earn, no membership card to get. You just run" 


Which reaffirms exactly what I wrote about here- basically you are a runner if you are moving faster than usual.

All of this makes me feel good about myself. It isn't about races. It's not about pace, or distance, or miles (those things help!) it's about me. Doing this. For myself. Because I need to. Because I want to

And that is a very powerful feeling. To look at yourself in the mirror and say "You know what I want to do? I want to go running."

I've never said that out loud, ever. Until very recently. I mean- it's always been a secret dream of mine. Something I thought I could never do. The thought of running feels to me the same as the thought of flying. Oh how I would love to be able to fly! (wings, not airplanes) How exhilarating it must be. And that is how I felt about running for a long time. It was something impossible. It wasn't even a pipe dream. I just thought I never would be able to, due to the history with the ankle and all. 

Yes my ankle still aches. It will always ache. But it doesn't hurt any more. I am finally pushing past that and becoming myself again. I am a runner, dang it!!

So all of this rambling aside, you probably are wondering how I have done on C25K today, right? Well I haven't gone yet. Give me 45 minutes an hour. (Max had to go out, then he saw children and wanted to herd them and I wasn't having it, so he wasn't going potty because he didn't get his way, then we came in and he whined because there were still children to corral and he was upset with me so he sulked and went into his crate, but I was going to put him there anyway... so I win! HA!)

---~~-- C25K Stats --~~---

Time: 30 minutes

Distance: 3.67 miles 

Pace: 8:02 minutes/5k; 8:10 minutes/mile overall

Power song(s): Cascada- Evacuate the Dancefloor; Britney Spears- If U Seek Amy; Alkaline Trio- Every Thug Need a Lady; Cake- The Distance

Mood: Fantastic! Despite the fitness center being busy and full of big burly men (some of whom were sexy and some of whom were not) and me being the only girl there, I did not get off of the elliptical even though I wanted to run away. I made a promise to myself to do the full 30 minutes and I did it! I started feeling epic around minute 18 and that carried me through the rest of the way. 

One great thing (but also slightly annoying at the same time) was my pants kept falling down! They are officially too big. I am going to have to go find some new ones or learn how to take them in before Friday. 

I am sure I looked a loon holding my pants up while running. I had on my Spanx too, to help keep my butt from bouncing and I think it just made my pants fall off faster. Whoops!

I also couldnt find my normal shoes so I was wearing my shape ups which turned out to be a bad idea. My whole right foot fell asleep and then it started traveling up my leg. Usually just my toes fall asleep. Am I wearing the wrong kind of shoes? Am I wearing the wrong kind of socks? Am I doing something wrong.... running friends, help me out!

What Is A Runner?

I look at a lot of blogs and most of my current blogs I read are all about running and it makes me wonder if I am indeed a runner, and what a runner actually is.

I have decided on one simple criteria.

If you move faster than you walk, you are a runner.

I guess, theoretically, you could break it down to joggers/sprinters/runners if you feel like it. But to me, its all the same at this stage in the game.

I am a sprinter, and always have been. Sprinting was the one thing I was good at in school PE class. I sucked at running the mile though, finishing in just under 14 minutes (an F for that event, in case you were wondering.)

I was good at short bursts of all out running as fast as I could, but beyond 10-15 seconds I was spent.

I wonder if I would ever be a real runner and after a few lousy runs the last couple of days my self esteem has been shot.

I do wonder if I had 'beginner's luck' or if I was just not feeling it the last couple of days. I started to question if I could ever even run on the treadmill (I gave it a go and it was a fail. I didn't fall off or anything but I had a super hard time finding a pace that let me jog/run consistently)


So I thought about it some yesterday while I was feeling a little blue and I decided that I am still new to this and my confidence is wavering precariously between being awesome and feeling like a failure, it's so new I'm fragile.

And then I decided to suck it up. As long as I am not suffering physical effects from running (my ankle hurting, for example, or my knee giving out) I will keep running on the elliptical. If I never make it past the elliptical to the treadmill to the road... that's alright.

It doesn't matter to my body what I do to run. It thinks it's doing the same work anyway. It gets my heart rate up, it tones muscles, and it leaves me feeling good about myself... even on the bad days.

So, yeah. I think I can call myself a runner.

Couch 2 5K- Running day 1

I already completed C25K day one on Stella- in which I complete 5.49 miles and burned 494 calories. I was super proud of myself. I wanted to go running today on the elliptical.

I got ready, spending 45 minutes on my hair and makeup. I took a bunch of before pics.


On my way to the fitness center, I saw this little guy


I was all of 6 feet away from him. He was so close I could almost touch him. I love where I live, we have lots of these little guys around.

The machine at the fitness center is *huge*

I'm at eye level with this monster

I ran only 15 minutes- I say "only" but I don't really mean it like that. My last run was 10 minutes, so I went 50% longer. Its harder to run on the elliptical than it is to bicycle, definitely.

But I want to point out that I am not disappointed with myself, quite the opposite. I pushed myself today, harder than I have before, going 1.75 miles. I also burned 230 calories.

Halfway through my run, another user came into the facility and I freaked out theres another person... who can see me run, see my fat jiggle, see my tits hit my face... but he only said hello and jumped on the treadmill that was in front of me.

Here's me after my run- I sweated all my makeup off!

I'm watching the premiere of Biggest Loser on NBC.com right now. If you missed it last night, you *have* to watch it. It's so heart breaking and uplifting at the same time. I've gone through 4 kleenex so far. All the stories and backgrounds are absolutely heartbreaking. All of them.

I am not going to give up. Not when I can still move. I am going to give it my all.
I will lose this weight. I will not give up. You shouldn't either.

Edit: The Biggest Loser was so inspirational and uplifting, but I cried like a ninny. I mean a lot, i have 7 used tissues just from me sobbing lol