Back and Milestones

Well that was a nice 2 month break from blogging. I had deleted my blog but un-deleted it, because Google can do that.

Let's see, a brief (ha) description of the events that have transpired these last two months:

I love the gym. I try and go at least 3 times a week, although we did get some snow/ice after Christmas and that prevented me from going for a few days (a week, actually)

I got a set of kettle bell weights along with Jillian Michaels' Shred it with Weights dvd... it kicks ass -literally! I do the 5 lb kettle bell and the next day I am so sore! I have a 10 lb and 15 lb ball that I have yet to touch.

If I go to the gym at least 3x a week, I do perfectly fine without my depression medication. If I don't go for a few days in a row or longer, it sets back in and then I need my pills or a quick gym fix. So far, working out has been fantastic for my depression and I hope that I can only keep going. Once the demotivation kicks in, it's very hard to pull myself out of it, and it quickly spirals into depression.

We got a cat, although that may be short lived now. Our friends moved to a new apartment, and didn't want to pay the pet deposit so we adopted their furball. They were also expecting their first child, but they had a miscarriage and now they want the cat back. We get to keep the furball for another month, until they can sort out the pet deposit, then he is going back to his home.

Christmas was insane. We had 3 of them this year. On the 22nd with my family, on the 25th I hosted for Brian's family, and then on the 27th we went to his grandparents in Valpo.

We had a smallish...medium?... get together on New Year's Eve. Our apartment has kind of become a hub on Monday nights anyway, where our friends all come over and I make some sort of delicious food and freak out about cleaning, and they play games or watch some retarded show/movie (Ancient Aliens, anyone?)

New Year's day is my dad's birthday and we took him to dinner on the Saturday before. Drake's first birthday was Jan 5, and he was truly spoiled.

He walks now. He runs, actually. Like a lot. Everywhere. We are eating with forks and spoons, and he is into climbing on everything. He plays really well with the cat (surprisingly gentle for a baby) and the dog always makes him laugh.

Speaking of running, I signed up for my first 5K in March, called the 5 Kilt, and it takes place on Saturday March 16. I am terrified and absolutely excited. I have never in my life thought I would want to run a race, but over the last few years I have really wanted to. It is on my Bucket List for 2013 and I am doing it. I have started training and my goal is just to finish. Preferably running, but finishing nonetheless. A huge motivator for me is knowing my son will be at the finish line waiting for me. It makes me cry now, thinking about it, I can't imagine what will happen that day. I will probably be so tired, exhausted, and in shock that I will throw up all over him. In joy.

I'm still a huge fat ass, but I have lost a few pounds and I am really trying to follow my personal trainer's advice. 2 days of heavy cardio, 1 day of strength training + moderate cardio, and 10K steps a day. I average a measly 500 at home all day, so that is really the challenging part.

I've been so far behind on EVERYONE'S blogs, the only one that I even manage to read occasionally is the Beer Bitch's blog, simply because she plasters it all over facebook so I click the link :)

We are doing so much better money wise. Not only were we really blessed at Christmas with money from nearly everyone, we started using cash-only. That means we cash Brian's paychecks and immediately put them away. Out of sight, out of mind. We only put money in the bank when we need to pay a bill, since most of them are online anyway.

We entered a 3 month payoff plan with Best Buy- they canceled 30% of our debt, and we owe them $310 a month, for three months. Then it's done, gone, poof! Paid off. At first we were freaking out, like how can we afford this, but since I said we do cash only... suddenly we are spending WAY less.

We get an awesome tax return this year for popping out a kid, and we will not only be able to pay off all of our credit card debt, but probably have enough left over to make a few extra payments on Brian's car.

My Goals for 2013 are very specific.

-Get out of all consumer debt (credit cards, car) <-- This is a priority
-Run a 5K <--This is to prove to myself that I can do anything
-Get a new/second job <--This is because I am a money whore and need more money.
-Lose 50 lbs. <--This is not negotiable.
-Learn to sew <--Because it is faster than crocheting.
-Make at least 1 quilt <-- Because I want to decorate my house in 8-bit video game geekiness.

So far, I look at my goals every day and I think to myself at the end of the day "What have I done today that progresses my goals? What can I do better, tomorrow?" and it's working. Especially when I am thinking about how badly I need that chocolate bar... and I say, nope, this isn't going to make me healthy, it's not going toward my goal.

Also, I paint now. Like, a lot. I've done two paintings. And I am actually really good at it. It's something I guess I have a bit of natural talent for and that makes me happy.

Anyway, there is my "short" update... aren't you all glad that I took a hiatus? No more, you say? Okay :)

Lack of Updates

Anyone else notice the lack of updating on this blog or is it just me? It seems there are really not enough hours in the day lately.

But a lot did happen, so I'll catch you up.

-Saturday Drake and I went to my parent's house. They watched the baby while I worked.
-I went to the grocery store with both my mom and my grandma. Once to get my pills and once to do some actual grocery shopping (graciously paid for by my mom! YAY)
-I went to a second hand baby store twice on Saturday- Once with my grandma and once with my mom. The first time, I bought an automatic baby swing for $20, $10 of which my grandma gave me. It has 9 different speeds, 2 different music tunes, and it runs off of batteries, and has a 40 minute timer. It was a huge steal!! Drake loves it. Grandma also bought him a couple of outfits
-The second time I went to the store, it was 30 minutes later with my mother. She bought us another carseat ($55, retailed for $100) and some more clothes.
-We left Drake at my parent's house Saturday night and Brian and I enjoyed some alone time together. "alone time" meaning I beat Mass Effect 1 and started Mass Effect 2, and did another Let's Play of the Sims 3 for my YouTube channel, while Brian watched and made jokes. Nerrrrds.
-Sunday I was back at my parent's and Drake was in a state of hibernation. I really wish I was kidding, but I'm not. He slept ALL DAY LONG. As in, he didn't even really eat. Maybe 15 ounces all day, and that was on the high end. He normally eats 30+ a day.
-Brian picked us up at 1:00 AM when he got off work and we went home.

I highlighted my hair Monday. It's very blonde. I love it.
I did 3 loads of laundry tonight and 2 loads of dishes.
I got a check from Survey Savvy in the mail today for $40 woohoo! With that money, I can pay off 2 medical debts, hallelujah!
I have been tracking and trying not to stuff my face full of shit every day. So far, I convinced myself I did not need a milk shake from Steak n Shake, even though they are half price AND they have a brownie shake. I know, I feel like a winner. EPIC!

On the chopping block for the rest of the week:

-Sorting out baby clothes that no longer fit and taking them into the baby store for store credit.
-Doing laundry and getting it all put away
-Working all weekend!
-Going to the parent's again. This is a weekly thing now.
-Celebrating Easter! Brian
-Depositing all of our spare change and making more credit card payments! Hurray!
-Shaving my legs. I look like a very light haired lumberjack. No offense to lumberjacks. If I had the cajones I'd get my legs waxed but I'm officially the biggest wuss ever. I'm sure recovering from a c-section would be a cake walk compared to having all the hair ripped out of your body by a complete stranger. Even worse if it is yourself doing all the pulling. Eeek.

Mm, cake.

Also, somehow I got to come up with another $500 to build my savings back up. I'm thinking of pimping out Brian's plasma. I can't donate and he has the rare blood type, also he said he would do it anyway. I am ineligible to donate for 3 reasons 1) I have had a baby in the last year, 2) I have had a surgery in the last six months and 3) I have had a blood transfusion in the last year. I'm sure I could lie about it... but I'm honest. What can I say?

Anyway, off to finish a few more hours of work and then probably try and catch a little shut eye before the hatchling wakes up. He's been waking up awful early the last few days- 5 am! Normally we get to sleep in until 8 or 9. I know, spoiled we are. Pay back, it is.  Talking like Yoda, I am.

Postpartum Week 5

Sorry that this is a day late... I slept most of yesterday. Drake was very cranky Wednesday and it ran me a little ragged. Brian looked after the baby all day, thank goodness.

I took a little "me time"  yesterday and took Max for a walk around the apartment complex (believe me, that was enough for me!) It was a brisk 20 minute walk. Brisk as in "kinda effin cold out" and also the pace.

Drake has been kicking me a lot when he lays on my stomach and it is irritating my incision. It's not red or anything, it just gets a little sore. I just take a Motrin and all is well. I try not to let him lay directly on it, but as I am shrinking (yay) and he is getting bigger (yay) his legs tend to stretch out and flail about.

I'm in the process of trying to re-lactate. Reading up on the literature of it, it is possible, but it will take even more effort. I am pumping 10 minutes per side for every waking hour. It is... exciting. I am up to making a quarter of an ounce (hahaha) per hour.

I also read that fenugreek herb is proven to increase lactation. It is an herb that stimulates the sweat glands. Considering that the milk glands are actually modified sweat glands, this is probably why it works. It's been proven to increase milk production up to 900% in most women, and is safe if you keep to the recommended dosage. I think I'll have Brian pick me up some today before he goes to work. From what I've read about it, it seems as though once the herb has helped increase supply, you can stop taking it. It starts to work in 1-3 days. Exciting.

I've gotten my yarn ball winder from Amazon. It works pretty well. The only trouble is, I have a LOT of yarn to wind into pull balls, and it only does them in 4 ounce increments. It's taken a bit of figuring out too. They recommend using a yarn swift to help speed up the process but I don't have one of those. They are expensive, so I have been using the spinning bottle drying rack ;) I feel so god damn clever sometimes it hurts!

Now that Drake and I are settling into a routine (when he doesn't have cranky days that is) I think I can start doing other things instead of sleeping while he is sleeping. I desperately want to get back in the groove of crocheting and I have been saving lots of patterns I want to tackle. I want to finish the baby blanket I didn't get around to finishing. Part of that though, is winding all the yarn. I think I'll shut up now so I can go do though.

:) Have an awesome Friday all

Postpartum Week Three

21 days ago... holy crap! Drake is definitely changing! His little personality is beginning to emerge. He loves being changed- both diaper and clothes. It cracks me up, he can be screaming his head off that he is wet/dirty/uncomfortable... but the second I lay him on the changing table, he stops because he knows he is getting changed. Funny. He also is a very mellow, relaxed baby... unless he is hungry, then he becomes the DEMON CHILD THAT WAILS until he gets fed. It's that exact pitch that just sends shivers down the spine and makes your ears want to bleed... you want to just toss him off the balcony at that point. But of course, the second you stick a bottle in his food hole, he's fine. Reminds me a lot of uhm... me. He is also starting to stretch out too, his legs are almost always extended (unless he is sleeping) He is so so alert, and can push his head up and hold it for increasingly longer periods of time. It's amazing.

How am I doing? I'm okay. Lots of changes. I am losing weight rapidly, partly from not really eating as regularly as I should be (sleep is more important) and partly from pumping. I cannot keep up with Drake's feeding demands. I just don't produce enough, despite constant pumping and keeping up fluids. I'm starting to think it's an intake problem- I'm not eating enough to sustain the supply. I'll have to try better.

I'm back to wearing my pre-pregnancy fat clothes, well tops/shirts anyway. Pants are still maternity, but that is alright. I am happy to be able to wear anything I want again.

I decided to do something nice for me and possibly the nicest gift I could give myself (aside from sleep) was some new clothes. I bought two new tops and a pair of pants.

I fell in love with the tops :) I love a good sweater these days, simply because I am constantly cold. The crochet trim halter tank will look awesome under a cardigan and be perfect for those pesky doctor's appointments when I am required to get out of the house lol

My mental health is much more sound this week too. After getting the car taken care of, I have been fine, no sudden weepiness or anything like that. I may be over the hump of baby blues, or it could have been I had a lot of time outside the house this week. Probably a little of column A and a little of column B.

My skin is definitely affected by hormones. Every square inch of it is dry dry dry! The skin on my face is especially dry and patchy. It feels like a Brillo pad. I've been trying to remember to moisturize it, and it's doing better... but it's the worst it's ever been in my life. Which, still, isn't that bad.

I realized if I missed a dose of my iron pills, I feel like shit. I start getting really cold and I just feel really off. If I take my iron pills, I find myself very warm... probably how normal people feel. Our apartment is set at a warm 74 degrees, which is too warm for Brian, perfect for the baby, and not nearly warm enough for me. This could also explain my fascination with really hot showers too... I feel like a lizard, who constantly has to soak in radiant heat to regulate my body temperature. It's weird and frightening, really, if you think about it. I've set alarms and reminders to make absolutely sure that I take my iron. I do not want to be anemic any more.

I'm really starting to enjoy being a mom. I know that there are still days where it will be really trying... but I still love it. I enjoy my son so much. He is the light of my life, and I can't believe the little guy is here. I look at my husband and just sort of stare in awe that we created him and that he is ours, through and through.

Brian has the day off so I was promised that I could sleep all day to catch up on it a bit. We will see how that really goes, because it seems like I can never sleep anymore. I'm praying I will be able to.

Two Weeks Postpartum

The hormones are killing me. I cry at literally everything. I cry when I get a nap, when Grandma comes over to relieve me, when Brian goes to sleep, when the baby cries, when the baby sleeps, when I *finally* get a chance to eat for the first time that day, when I read blogs, tweets etc.

I know it's hormones. I swear I am not really like this.

I had a melt down today. I was up since 5 am with the baby. It was about noon or so. The baby would not sleep longer than an hour, wouldn't eat more than an ounce at a time, and was just fussy all day long. Brian was awake by this time and holding the baby. I was supposed to be laying down, but I just couldn't stop thinking about the car and our bills and I kept trying to do the math to see if we would have enough money this month for the bills and I got different answers each time, none of them good.

I just lost it. Started crying. I was positively wailing in no time, so Brian held the baby in one arm and me with the other. I blew my nose on a wet wipe and took a couple Xanax. Yes, a couple. More than I ever had. Brian and I went over bills and etc, turns out we are fine.

Grandma came over because I begged her to. I wanted to get out of the house so badly. I am not allowed to drive for another 4 weeks. It was gross out today, snowy and slick, and she came anyway. We went grocery shopping (a huge endeavor) and had a lunch out. It was a lot to do for me today, since I am still recovering. We walked around Target and got groceries, different baby bottle nipples, breast milk storage bags, butt paste for diaper rash, stool softener (I take iron pills, which make me extremely constipated) Target is huge and overwhelming. I wouldn't have gone, but we had a gift card, so why not?

The new bottle nipples seem to work better. He is getting more in at each feeding, and he is not spitting up at all which is very good. In fact, he had two bottles full back to back, totaling 12 ounces. He must have been really hungry. I think the other nipples were making him cranky.

Despite that fact, the baby is just fussy. Has been for a few days. I am not sure what is different all of a sudden? Maybe he is just a fussy baby. I really have no idea. I am trying to tune into his needs but it is really *really* hard when he is screaming his fool head off, and refusing food, pacifier, swing, bouncy, rocking, cuddling, etc. Is he gassy? Does he have reflux? Not getting enough food at one time? Is he tired? Overstimulated? Bored? I am just bumbling through this. It's even harder on Brian, who really has no clue what a baby is and each time Drake cries, I can see how frantic Brian gets... the baby's cries are just the right pitch to grate on Brian's every nerve. Poor guy.

But I really really really can't do this alone, so Brian will just have to learn to cope, same as me. Thank God for Xanax

I'm not in any pain really from the surgery any more, which is good. I keep taking my Motrin and I never got my Percocet refilled. Once they took my staples out, I didn't need it any more. Stupid staples, flesh was not meant to be held together by metal. Although, the nurse gave me the best compliment, she said that my stomach was way flatter than hers was, and she delivered vaginally, and her baby wasn't as big as mine was! They were also impressed with how tiny my incision was, considering how big headed large Drake was/is. I still haven't seen my incision/scar. I can feel the scar tissue, and when I am able to resume normal activities, I am going to massage the area. Massaging even 5 minutes a day can drastically improve the appearance of scar tissue... trust me. I did it on my ankle. One side looks awful and painful, the other side looks like nothing is even there.

I am down a total of 20 lbs, more than half the baby weight has come off. I weigh 240 now and my pre-pregnancy weight was 222, so only 18 more pounds to go!  My feet aren't as swollen, I can shower unassisted (I had trouble getting in and out of the shower and toweling off from the waist down)

My boobs are so big and swollen now. Like I really needed them to be any bigger. The last bra I had bought, I bought big on purpose. I was a 46DD before, so I bought a 48DD and now it is too small! They leak constantly. I took a maxi pad and cut the ends off of it and shoved them in my bra to absorb leaks. Works like a charm. Why buy those expensive breast pads when you can just use up the rest of those horrid maxi pads you get from the hospital? Haha

I love that my belly is flat now and I can see my feet (if I moved my boobs out of the way first) and I can fit into some of my pre-pregnancy clothes. I haven't tried any pre-preggers jeans yet, but I am also still nearly 20 lbs heavier than I was, so I don't think they will fit. I got rid of all my "fat" jeans when I dropped a couple sizes.

Well, the baby is down for the count, Brian is decompressing by working on a commission (ha, weird that work is a way to decompress now), and I have an hour off between shifts, so I might as well play the resident bovine and pump some precious milk for my darling to eat all up tomorrow. Plus I want to try the breast milk bags. I got the Lansinoh brand- love/hate? Recommendations?

Some Like a Baby Nine Days Old

Last night, Brian called me. He had a collision while working, he had hit a wooden support for a hill. The front end of the car is smashed. We have to take it in the shop. The ironic part is, I just raised our deductible from $250 to $500 in an effort to lower our insurance premiums. Do you know what we save per year with a higher deductible? $14. Sigh. We have to come up with $500 to get the car fixed. Luckily, it's driveable, but needs to have a lot replaced. Thank God Brian wasn't hurt, and no one else was involved. Thank God also for full coverage insurance, as we were able to rent a car and get reimbursed for the tow (There's $50 of the $500!)

~~

My family came over today. It was the first time my parents had seen the baby after we left the hospital. Brian and I were shooed away to take a nap (thank God) and mom, dad, and grandma took over. Mom and Grandma cleaned the entire apartment and Grandma went to the grocery store to buy us some food. We had almost nothing in our cupboards, sad really. We just haven't had time to go to the store. I was so thankful for the clean house and the groceries. Dad checked out the car and saw that there was nothing mechanically wrong with it. We needed someone who knew something about cars to give it a look over, so we don't get screwed at the mechanic's.

Every one oohed and awwed over the baby. We woke up at three and had some cookies and diet mountain dew. It was so nice to sleep and not have to worry about what was going on with Drake.

~~

Pumping is going well, thanks to all the suggestions. I keep ice water with me at all times and suck it down with a straw. I have been able to produce 5 ounces on average per session. I am so thankful Drake can't latch on to me, because that kid has a strong sucking reflex and it would hurt. No, bottle feeding is definitely the way to go. We are still supplementing with formula, doing half and half... it seems to be working. Doing purely breast milk seems to go through him too quickly and he is eating every hour. But if we do half formula, he stays fuller longer and sleeps better. It's the best of both worlds. Eventually, he will be purely on breast milk, but for now, this is what is working for us at the moment.

~~

I do have some of the baby blues. Not postpartum depression, which I was worried about. Depression runs in the family, so I am glad that I have so far avoided PPD. I do cry at the slightest things. Drake "smiling" in his sleep; when I look at his eye; when I read the referral to the ophthalmologist, and it said "evaluation and treatment of abnormally shaped pupil"; when Brian comes home and I ask him to watch the baby while I take a quick shower/nap/make dinner and he sighs heavily. I can't help it, I just start sobbing. No warning. No build up. And as quickly as they start, they stop. So I know it's hormones/baby blues. Stupid hormones.

Drake is healthy and thriving, which is what all mothers want to hear and see.

Quietly contemplating his next poop

What a precious face! This is what I stare at all day long.

Hard to believe it's already been nine days.

~~

My pain is still there. All of yesterday and today, I felt pinching of two of the staples and it hurt really bad. Brian checked it out for me (I can't see the incision myself, thank God) and said that the two I thought were hurting were red and swollen. I think they are rubbing against my underwear. I have to wear underwear though, because I still need the pads. And that's all I will say on that subject. Monday I get the staples removed. Monday cannot come fast enough for me. I'm taking more Motrin than I am Percocet now, so I think I am in a transition period. Let's hope the pain goes away soon. Once it does, I know I will be a hundred times better... the pain pills make me twice as sleepy as normal, so it feels like I am constantly on "E" and I can never get enough rest. I feel fine until I have to take one again, then I get all sleepy.

Well, that's it for the update.

It's Been One Week

Since you were brought into the world little man

One week since my whole life changed. Wow, where did time go?


Today, we had his one week wellness check up. The doctor was VERY impressed with Drake. They actually said he was perfect! I said of course, I knew he was perfect!  He did not cry, fuss, or become too wiggly to handle. He just kind of looked around, very alert, soaking things in.

He weighs 9 lbs 1 ounce, so he should be back to his birth weight in no time. They were impressed he was such a big eater (4-6 ounces every 4-6 hours) and how good of a sleeper he is (we are fortunate enough to get 5+ hr stretches at a time) and how strong he is.

Did you know if you place him on his tummy, he can lift his head AND chest up off the floor? We were given the go-ahead to start tummy time because they believe he will be an early roller. Like, within the next week or two early.

Hard to believe he is only 7 days old.

As far as his measurements go, he is 81% proportioned correctly and if we lined up 100 baby boys his age, only 11 of them would be taller than him. He is a big boy :)

We were referred to an ophthalmologist to check out his eye. I don't know if anyone else noticed it, but he has a special eye... his pupil is keyhole shaped. We know for a fact he can see out of both eyes and that he can track things with them both equally, but we still need to check him out. There isn't any real concern about it, just a precaution at this point.

The Dragon Eye

We call it his dragon eye. Most people end up calling it a cat eye, and while it is rare, few people have permanent damage to the eye. It's a congenital condition and there isn't any "cure" or fix for it. I think it's adorable.

How am I doing? I'm doing great. I definitely need to keep up with my pain medication, otherwise I become so stiff and sore and useless. The pediatrician didn't recognize me at first, because I look so much healthier and better than when she saw me last :) That was the best compliment ever.

I get my staples out on Monday and I look like I am about 5 months pregnant still, but overall I am very happy with how I look and feel. I love being a mom, something I never thought I would say! I count my blessings every day.

Update

Sorry for lack of updates. Here's the quick and dirty version. Drake Alexander Farrar Born 10:38 am via emergency c section on 1/5/2012. Weight 9 lbs 3 ounces Height 21.5 inches Perfectly healthy. I'm doing great, recovering nicely. I'll update with lots of pics soon. I'll also do a birth story post. It's a good one :) I'll be released tomorrow sometime. In the meantime, if you want a sneaky peek of the baby, check out my mom's blog http://www.mandatorybloghere.com

Save the Date!

I had my doctor's appointment today. My cervix is still closed and my due date is Thursday. I jokingly said to the doctor "So you'll be inducing me Friday?" being a smart ass and thinking he would tell me to hold off until after the new year. 

But my doctor was all like "Yeah, I don't have anything planned that day. Would you like to come in Friday morning at 6 am or Thursday evening at 8 pm?" 

Hahahahahaha totally threw me for a loop! I told him I was just kidding and he said we might as well get it over with. I told you he was all laid back and just did whatever. He's kind of crazy, but that's how I like him. 

He explained how the procedure would go. I am to get vaginal suppositories to ripen my cervix. I get three of them over the course of 6 hours (1 every two hours) and after that, they will start me on a pitocin drip. This will start the contractions, and the doctor said I would have the baby Friday afternoon. 

Soooooo

That doesn't leave a whole lot of time to do everything. We are going in Thursday night at 8 and hopefully will have a baby Friday afternoon/evening. We are very excited and nervous! Like, oh my god, we are having the baby this week. This year! Woohoo! 

I feel like we are rushing around a bit and getting some things together last minute... but over all, I feel very prepared. I think Kayla and her husband are going to stay a little bit longer up here so they can meet the baby and hopefully will help us take care of Max too while we are at the hospital. If not, Brian can leave and take care of the dog, and my mom will be there to stay with me. 

I can't believe it's finally happening!! 

Oh, and of course... it snowed today. :) 

Well I have to go finish my laundry and get lunch around. Kayla and her hubster are visiting this afternoon so I need to feed them. 

YAY BABY!!! 

Week 38: Update

HOLY CRAP I OFFICIALLY HAVE 14 DAYS TIL I AM DUE

No apologies here for the caps, I am that freakin' excited. I really hope the baby comes SOONER rather than later... but whatever!!! I have a deadline in sight.

The doctor's appointment was pretty standard. I had the urine check, the blood pressure check, the weigh in. All good. I actually went down 2 lbs from my last weigh in, which is completely normal at this stage in the game.

I had wondered if I would lose weight, as I noticed I have a lot more limited space in my stomach. As of now, total weight gain for the baby is 33 lbs- completely average!

Then came the pelvic exam. I was so eager to see if I had made any progress.

....

Except I didn't. I didn't even stay at 1 cm dilated. I'm back to 0.

Fully closed. The Labor Express is not stopping at the Cervix Station. Closed for renovations.

I am a little sad. More than a little. I almost cried in the doctor's office as I was getting dressed. But you know, every pregnancy is different and just because I appear to be going backwards instead of forwards, that doesn't mean that it can't all change in a few hours from now or tomorrow. That's the most frustrating part of being pregnant. Even for me, as I am not a control freak, it is very hard to accept that things aren't going the way I had wanted them to. I can only imagine the anguish it would cause someone who was very type A lol :)

Brian and I were making predictions on when the baby would actually make an appearance. He said December 31st, at 11:30 pm. I say January 3rd- result of an induction. But really, it's all up in the air. Like I said he could decide to come now, tomorrow, or next week. There is just no telling with this baby. I do know that he is healthy, he is active, and I am thankful for that. All I can do is my best to relax and focus on other things. Like laundry and finishing up that scarf, napping and cuddling with my pooch. Spending lazy days like this with my husband. Playing Words With Friends and Family Feud on the iPad. Making more videos on YouTube haha.

I haven't taken the bump picture yet. I'm very tired at the moment. The weather is really doing a number on me and it's been a long day, considering I didn't fall asleep until nearly 8 and was up at noon.

Time for a nap!

Week 37: Bump Update

I'm considered full term today!

The little baby under the text is actually a movable 3D image and plays a fetal heartbeat.

And I think the baby was pretty damned determined to let me know that because from 2 am to 5 am, I had strong, regular, INTENSE contractions. Not quite "fall to your knees screaming WHY GOD WHY" painful (as everyone has told me they will get) but intense enough I couldn't walk while I was having one. I had to do a lot of breathing and it really helped that Brian made me laugh so much.... even though it hurt like hell to laugh in the middle of a contraction. I started to get nauseous whenever I was having one (a common feeling, thanks, Google!) I was just about to go to the hospital at 5 am... when all of a sudden, the contractions stopped! and I didn't have another one all day. I was pretty paranoid to fall asleep, and didn't end up closing my eyes until 8 am. I got up at noon.

I had a hair and nail appointment today. Brian's cousin, who was doing our hair, was joking around with me that she didn't know what she would do if my water broke while I was there. I told her she'd finish my hair ;)

I also think the baby is sitting a little lower this week. Suddenly, it's easier to get in and out of bed, I can breathe a little deeper/easier, and I constantly feel a little more pressure on my hips/pelvis. What do you guys think? Brian said I don't look as big as I did last week:

Last week- 36 weeks

This week- 37 weeks

I definitely feel bigger than I was last week! Hahaha... I guess every week I am a little more pregnant :)

No doctor's notes today- I didn't have an appointment because he was out of office. That will come Monday. I will probably be violated checked for any more progress, since I will be 37 weeks and 4 days, one full week after the visit to the hospital.

(L and) D-Day is fast approaching.... any time between oh... NOW and 21 days from now! When I logged into Baby Center this morning to read my weekly update, the first thing it said was

Welcome to the waiting game.

Yeah, no joke. Thanks for that. 

The dog is terrified of me. He won't even look at me. It's as if he knows... something... is very...very... different... about this woman. Lol cracks me up that he runs from me every time I enter a room. He sees me and you can just see it in his eyes " OH GOD ITS THAT WOMAN AGAIN RUN AWAAAAAAY"

...Do you think he knows? Hahahah. I chase him around too! Max come baaaaack! It's my new favorite past time.

Good News!

As you might remember, Brian put in for a transfer to the new store opening up. Well we got some good news on that front: He got in.

Also some extra information-

First, the new store is what they call a "DELCO" which means its a delivery and carry out store only- no dining in option.

Secondly, he is one of 2 full time drivers.

Third, the new store took over the delivery area of one store completely, and parts of two other stores. The delivery area is huge!

The store will be opening up sometime in January! We are really excited because it means he will be closer to home, he will not have to use as much gas, and he will probably make a LOT more in tips, considering the store is going to be mostly delivery with a huge delivery area. This is so exciting!

Could you believe that we almost weren't considering this? I'm so glad he told me how he really felt and that he really wanted the transfer. It's nice also that his manager is giving him preference to hours and location, because he knows that we are about to have the baby. I am not worried about Brian being home less. If it ends up that I need a little extra help at home, he can easily rearrange his schedule.

It's so funny how we tried to plan things out. We were wanting to move up north so badly this next year because we would be closer to my family and have more help with the baby... but we get an opportunity like this and we just seize it. We are definitely learning to deal with "come what may" because there really is no sense in planning it out... it just gets confusing and frustrating. All we can do is our best and take opportunities as they present themselves. Which seems to be working out very well for us so far.

After all, we weren't planning on becoming a family this year. We weren't planning on staying here another year at least either... but I am so glad that our plans fell through!