Steroids, Pain Pills, and a Boot, to boot.

I love working my new job. It's right up my alley, in terms of what I want to do with my life. I really want to be a librarian but you know that requires going back to school, which requires funding, which I do not have. But HEY- this is a step in the right direction and will keep me happy at least.

Sadly, my ankle is not really up to snuff for this running around sort of job, at least not yet. I went to see my doctor on Monday and was prescribed steroids, pain pills and modified working conditions in addition to wearing a walking cast/boot. I have a love hate relationship with the Boot.

I hate that it is bulky, and that I have to wear it. I hate that I am asked 1,000 times a day what has happened and why I am wearing it. I hate being weak. I hate it, because there is literally nothing "wrong" with my ankle. Nothing happened. It's just weak. And that is a shitty feeling. It's weaaaak. My favorite response to "what's wrong with your ankle" lately has been "Nothing, I wrestled a bear." And that usually diverts it to a more humorous situation, in which I can come up with all sorts of crazy details about a non-existent bear fight, and how I managed to escape mostly unharmed.

I love the boot in that it allows me to walk and to work. End of list.

Look, my ankle hurts REALLY bad when it hurts. And it always kind of hurts a little bit, especially if I have to do any standing. I went from sitting on my (ever-expanding) ass for 5 years, to working a part time job where I have to be on my feet anywhere from 20-35 hours a week. It is stressful on my ankle, no doubt about it. It's stressful on the rest of my body too.

I know the boot helps, and I am grateful that I have it. I am not grateful, however, for the stigma that comes along with it. However, seeing that it allows me to work, and to keep my job, well, the Boot and I might be having drinks this week.

I hate being on steroids as well. I know they are great for reducing inflammation and swelling, and they do work--- but I hate the side effects. I am constantly hungry. I am gaining weight out of nowhere (like 10 lbs in a week.) Look I know I am eating a bit more on steroids, but I track every bite that goes in my mouth and nowhere did I eat an extra 35,000 calories.

I also was told that I needed to exercise my ankle and really focus on losing weight. I joined Planet Fitness again but haven't been able to go a whole lot, I went once. I really do like the atmosphere, but I have trouble finding time to go. I will just have to do better and make it a priority. Now that it's summer, I am hoping too to get in our apartment complex's pools and maybe do some water aerobics.

My ankle really bothers me mentally, not just physically. It bothers me that I am weak and unable to do a lot of things that most people take for granted. Not just running or wearing fancy high heels. I mean, like being able to hold down a minimum wage job and work 35+ hours a week. I mean being able to go to the bathroom without help. I mean not having to become personal with the Boot.

So be grateful, children, that your legs work as the Maker intended and you're able to do all those things. Because some of us are insanely jealous.


That being said, I am going to go take my steroids and a pain pill, and play some video games until my husband gets home. Then I will hit the gym.

Weekend Recharge and Small... Medium... Rant.

Slept a lot this weekend. I guess Brian realised that without me getting sleep the house falls into a black hole of chaos and disorganization and mess and a thousand other adjectives to describe it.

I get overwhelmed easily, especially when it comes to cleaning, so while I slept, Brian cleaned the house for me. He got everything done but 2 loads of dishes. Wow!! I woke up to a completely different house. I loved it! What a great man I am married to. He did make me promise to "at least try" to stay on top of it this week. He didn't do it all to be a wonderful husband though- he wanted to have friends over Sunday, so he knew he had to accomplish something to "convince me" (whatever works, I guess)

In other news, I realized that I am a sack of worthless crap when it comes to being a housewife. I can't stand not working, so I picked up my full schedule again. Good thing too, it's been super busy lately and that just means more money for me!! After a really easy month in April, it feels great to be swamped and busy again.

I still haven't been to the gym since Wednesday night but that is okay, I have still been doing my squats and weight lifting at home. I am eager to hit the gym today though and get in my HIIT. That's high intensity interval training for those of you who don't know what that means. Basically, its short intervals of high intensity exercise (ie run like the zombies are chasing you) followed by medium intervals of recovery (ie, strolling through the library) and you repeat those for about half an hour to 45 minutes.

So I've been doing 30 seconds of zombie running followed by 60 seconds of oh my god I am going to die I need to walk to recover let's pretend I found the world's biggest library and wander around in it for ever-- OH GOD ZOMBIES!!! RUUUUUN

it's entertaining, at least.

In 15 minutes I manage to burn nearly 300 calories, so you can imagine my excitement when I can push it to twenty. I usually cap out around twenty or twenty five minutes, then do a cool down for 10 minutes (hey, it's rough, ok? I max out my heart rate EVERY TIME) then I hide in a corner until I stop hyperventilating.

Friends, I lost 2.2 lbs this week, bringing my total since I restarted WW up to 3.4 lbs, and I am down 23.4 lbs from my highest weight! I have lost a toddler in weight, folks, and it feels GREEEEAT. (yes, said in the Tony the Tiger voice. You're welcome)

I have 1.5 lbs until I hit my 10% goal at WW! 5 lbs until I hit my personal mini-goal! So things are moving right along in the positive direction! I just need to keep doing what I am doing- tracking everything that passes my lips and working out like a beast. Ideally I would like to be under 200 pounds by Drake's 2nd birthday, but realistically I will settle for 215- that would be all of my baby weight GONE in two years, averaging out to about .5 lb a week. SAFE. That gives me 35 weeks to lose 20 lbs, so I think that is plenty of time. I may even surprise myself and hit my 200 mark.

We have had a rough couple of nights around here, Drake has NOT been sleeping more than an hour or two at a time, and it is driving both of us bat shit crazy. Mostly me though, because Brian had to work today so I got him every time he woke up. Which sucked, because I was working too.

**Caution, the following is a rant. Those who do not want to read it may go to this page here and look at fluffy kittens. Those who want to see what ticked me off should keep reading.***

Also, tiny little side rant. This woman who was checking out our groceries really pissed me off. She was talking to the woman in front of us, us, and the woman behind us, the entire time about her child with disabilities. This is not what upsets me, I understand caring for kids is hard enough, and 12395798567293874 more intense when they have disabilities or special needs.What upset me was the woman in front of us was DONE PAYING and the cashier would just NOT let her go. Then, when we get up there she comments on Drake, not unusual, he gets lots of attention. But the first thing she says is "WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIS EYE?!?!" in this huge loud annoying voice so everyone looks around. So I say "Nothing is wrong with his eye." "THEN WHY DOES IT LOOK ALL FUNNY?!" Obviously she was not graced with a huge vocabulary....I'm getting ruffled and about to blow my lid. Drake has been crying the entire time we have been shopping, I hadn't eaten in awhile so I was hangry, and Brian takes over and explains that there is not anything medically wrong with his eye, but he does have a coloboma in it. Then he explains what that means blah blah blah.... and the bitch goes "Oh." and looks VISIBLY DISAPPOINTED that there is nothing wrong with his vision. Then she goes on to say "Shouldn't he be wearing glasses at all times then?" So I said "what part of there is nothing wrong with his eye don't you understand?" and I left. Hahahaha took all the groceries and Drake, and just left Brian to pay.

Yeah, that's right. If you complain about my son's eye after we have explained that there is nothing wrong with it, I will snap at you and get snarky. And you deserve it. Also I know that part of it is because Drake was being cranky and I was frazzled and hungry myself, so I had ZERO tolerance, but I don't play nice with people who keep insisting they know what is "the correct" way to "treat" his eye. Look, PAL, we have an EYE DOCTOR for that VERY REASON. And if the EYE PROFESSIONAL says there is nothing wrong with it, I do not want your cashier expertise on the matter. Unless I am writing you a check.

Rant over.


I have some exciting things coming up this week, like a baby shower for my best friend, a birthday party for Brian's friend, Mother's Day (!!) and next week is our 4th Anniversary!! So I can't wait to show you what I have been doing to prepare for all of that stuff.

Under No Illusions

I'm not really one to bitch about companies or anything on my blog, but this one takes that rule and puts it on the back burner for a little bit.

I have been applying to various stores recently and I called Victoria's Secret to follow up on an app that I had placed late last week. I asked for a manager and got one on the phone. I told her who I was and why I was calling- "just wanting to follow up on an app I placed last week." And I got the rudest, most vicious, unprovoked response I have ever gotten.

"Well if we liked you, we would have, uhm, called you."

And then she hung up.

There was no "thanks for calling" or "Can I help you with anything else?" She didn't even wait for my response. She just hung up the phone.

Now, I am under no illusion that everyone in the world thinks I'm awesome or have the set skills to work at their company. But I do have people skills, I'm friendly, and I can count back change. I am not sure what other skills one would need to work in underwear?

Let me just say this to Victoria Secret: You have seriously lost a customer. If the manager in charge of the store- you know the one who is supposed to train all the employees to be empathetic, polite, and friendly- responds to a customer/potential employee in such a distasteful manner, why on earth would I want to work there? Let alone shop there!

I cannot believe how rude this woman was and I have to say that I am frankly appalled that she would say something like that to another person.

I wonder how they treat their employees if that is how they treat the prospective employees? What ever happened to 'best foot forward'? I guess it died out- and so did my passion for over priced lacy things.

I am not jaded because I "didn't get a job offer". I am upset at the way that I was treated. There are a million other ways to say "you're not what we are looking for in a candidate" other than "we just don't like you"

Some examples:

"Unfortunately, the position is no longer available."
"We felt that you did not meet our needs sufficiently"
"There was a more qualified candidate"
"Upon reviewing your application, we have decided to go another avenue"

See? All of those spell out rejection. None of those have ever personally hurt my feelings. But when a company says "We don't like you" it says to me that you must not want my money at all then. And it must be great to be in such a position that you can afford to lose customers in this economy. After all- you were only trying to hire someone, so I am sure that there is someone else out there just as shallow and petty as that particular manager.

Or maybe she was just hungry.