Just do it.

Brian sort of gave me a revelation, without meaning to. He was asking about my weight loss and why it seems I am struggling so much for so long... and he basically told me to "shut up or nut up" (although he didn't use those words exactly-Quoting Woody Harrelson in "Zombieland".)

I've decided to just "do" weight loss. Just do it, already. DO IT!! C'mon it wouldn't be that hard if you just DO the thing that you are supposed to DO. Do the shit out of it!!! (Quoting Louis C.K. now)

Since our chat the other day, I ate broccoli AND spinach AND apples... twice. For two separate meals. I know, I know. I just did it. I ate the shit out of the broccoli. We all know I love spinach and apples, so that wasn't hard. Broccoli is like the ultimate veggie  I wouldn't eat before. But it was chopped up pretty small so I could tolerate it... twice.

I also realized that I probably need a bigger flange for the breast pump and ordered the new parts. I got two different sizes. They arrive later today.

I'm still having trouble with pumping even though I am doing every suggestion I can- pumping more frequently, eating healthier, staying hydrated. I am tracking my fluid intake to the ounce. I'm hoping the new parts help with that but if not- I am prepared to call my doctor and get a galactagogue (lactation stimulant). The only trouble is, the pills can cause severe depression. So I will have to be on the look out for that. Maybe I'll just have him write me a script for Paxil while he's at it- just so I can have it ready, just in case.

I'm actively and thoroughly looking for more at-home work. I need another job badly so I am nutting up and trying to find another job. I am going to shut up about this now, but I found a couple of great opportunities and hope they come to some sort of fruition.

Later today, I'm going running. Fuck it. I waited 6 weeks.(Actually, MONTHS and MONTHS of waiting.) I want to get out of the house. Brian's home all day. I want to sweat a little and get back into running on the elliptical. I'm pretty sure I'll die running for 30 minutes but I will do it. (more like run/walk) I'd go now but it's 3:30 am and the fitness center is closed.

I tracked every bite. And I mean, EVERY bite. My grandma brought me a sandwich from KFC, I tracked it. I ate left over stir fry. I tracked it. I tracked all the diet soda I had today too. I tracked the apples, too. I tracked every thing I've eaten for the last two days.

Dishes? Done. Laundry? Folded and put away. I did the shit out of everything today. I even had Crank Master McGee today (that's Drake) and he did not want to be put down. He was super clingy today. To the point if I put him down he screamed and wailed and carried on. I knew he was just being clingy so I just let him cry it out for a few minutes and when he calmed down, I picked him up again. Weird kid, some days he doesn't want anything to do with me then others it's like I am the only person he wants.

I'm exhausted and ready to hit the hay. I get a small nap in and then it's back to baby watching... although.. I think I might be "mean" and have Brian be on baby duty. See, Drake won't sleep in his crib/bassinet, he only wants to sleep on his Boppy pillow. So we usually take turns and sleep on the futon while Drake is on his Boppy on the couch all night long. I guess we could put the Boppy in his crib and both sleep in our bed... but it makes me uneasy.... Anyway, all of that to say that I usually only get to sleep from 4-7, then I watch the baby and "nap" maybe from 7-1 while he sleeps... but since he has NO PLANS and doesn't have to work, I can sleep the whole time. AND I WILL. I watch the baby all week. Can you tell I am a little excited? Haha....

Anyway, off to beddy byes.

Weigh-In #1

My first week on Weight Watchers was interesting. It was only a half-week, really, starting on Wednesday and today is weigh in day.

Wednesday I ate too many points. Thursday I ate enough points, and Friday and Saturday, I did not eat all of my points.

Eating "meals" is really hard with the baby. What I like to call the Rule of Children comes into play every time. Every time I go to do something for myself (eat, in this case) Drake suddenly cries and needs me to attend to him. Of course this only happens when I am alone. I am getting used to it though, and I think I will need to become a grazer (a Point tracking one, anyway) for a few months.

I found the greatest success so far has been to set up my iPad to remind me to track my meals. If I am not near a computer or iPad, I do write it down on paper. Odd, I know, because I don't know the Points values for anything off the top of my head, but I do write down what I ate, then go back and add it in electronically when I can.

This time on Weight Watchers I am going to try to approach things differently. Instead of obsessing on the scale constantly- weighing in naked, first thing in the morning, or several times a day/week- I am only going to weigh in once on Sundays. I am taking a casual approach to the scale, and making sure to track like a fiend whenever possible.

That being said, I am proud to say I have lost some weight my first week! I officially weigh less than I did when I got married, and I am only 13 lbs away from losing the baby weight completely. It is nice to see that I am so close to being back to my pre-pregnancy weight.

My first "goal" is the standard 5% lost, which comes out to 11.9 lbs. I am down 3. Not too shabby of a start, eh?

Oh, and because Liz asked me where I did my shopping recently, it was at Old Navy online. They only carry their plus line on the website, and I found everything I have ordered from Old Navy, whether it was maternity or plus, to fit very well and to flatter both of my body shapes. I used a coupon code for 25% off, and since I spent over $50, I got free shipping too. Win.

Completely Average

Most people don't want to be average in their lives, but I can tell you one thing: I am so so happy I am having an "average" pregnancy.

Here's the run down...

Blood pressure: 128/60- Completely normal. Pre-preggers my blood pressure was through the roof, and very much borderline requiring treatment. Last check up I had at my regular doctor had me at 178/80

Weight: 239. Officially the highest I have ever weighed in my life, but completely average weight gain for pregnancy. I am at 25 weeks and have gained 17 lbs, 4 of which were in the last month- an average of 1 lb a week- which is right on target. (I might gain the 30 or so lbs of baby weight that a lot of women gain, but I am coming to terms with that.)

Uterus measurement: "Right on the money," according to my doctor. I seem to have run out of space in my abdomen for my internal organs because of the baby, but it's completely normal! Actually, Brian and I found out where my fundus was (the top part of the uterus) just by pressing up my abdomen. Currently, it's about an inch above my belly button.

Drake was kind enough to kick and squirm the entire check up and my doctor again, said that it was a sign of healthy growth and that he was pleased with our progress.

Baby heart rate: 138 beats a minute. The range at this stage is 120-160, so again, I fall in the completely average area. When I first had the heart rate checked, it was a little high, but it seems Drake and I have both mellowed out.

So it's good to know that I am still going strong. 25 weeks 1 day is where I am at now.

Next month I have my gestational diabetes testing- I am so not looking forward to it. I am deeply terrified of being told I am diabetic. But I know that whatever comes my way, I will do what I have to. Hopefully if I am diagnosed it does not mean that I will be diabetic afterwards, though I might continue on with the lifestyle just to be sure.

So the count down is on... 15 weeks until baby Drake makes his appearance. Or thereabouts lol