Not-So-Business As Usual

A normal day turns into an unexpected surprise....

5:45 am Alarm goes off. Hit snooze.

5:50-6:20 Continue to have battle with snooze and sleep

6:20 Up dressed and out the door by 6:40

6:40 N o caffeine. Mental note to get caffeine at Office.

7:00 Set up IV drip of caffeine. Day only slightly better at this point. Look outside, it's pitch black. Sink into cubeville.

7:30 Still dark outside. Consider sleeping under desk. Instead, walk around for a while for some exercise and chit chat a little with the other unhappy worker bees depressed about winter.

7:35 Winter storm comes to my attention. 3-5 inches snow expected. Boo.

8:00 Remembered company lunch at Pizza Hut today at 11:30. Shit. I have to go out in this?! UGH

8:00-9:30 Worked on boring crap. Office life is fun. Wondered if they would let us go early.

9:45 Email: Due to light workload, refresher training!  10 am sharp.

10-11:30 Fiance is in refresher training and I am sitting around waiting for Region to answer my questions. Listen to iTouch and marvel at how poor taste Fiance has in music.

11:30-12:30 Company lunch. I have my friend who moved from Alaska drive us all. We slip and slide and I thank God that I have Xanax waiting for me should I need it, but she was calm and collected. After all, she grew up in worse. Lunch was amazing. I discovered I actually love green peppers and carrot strips and red onion on my salad.

12:30-2 Refresher training (which, I found out, was actually "twiddle your thumbs and pretend to learn/teach something") resumes and email comes out. "Due to hazardous road conditions and no work, please feel free to leave. Just reply to this message and go." So Fiance and I left. This is the surprise! No work!

We live a good 2.5 miles from work and it took us nearly 20 minutes to get home. There wasn't much traffic. 

I also remembered I need to call the Gyno. Joy. That used to be a stressful trip for me. "Ok lady, just spread your legs and I'm going to stick my hands and face in your cooch and touch things. Don't freak out, though. It's my job. And pee in this cup too. Put on this retarded gown so your back fat hangs out. Uh-huh. You have a nice cervix, it's very easy to see." ....Thanks? I'm never sure if this is a compliment (from a medical standpoint, it is) or if she's calling me "easy".... which I'm not. But still, I always feel a little miffed when she says that. Now, I have my friend Xanax to help me. I'll probably giggle like an idiot at her. Oh well. Better than saying "Thanks, I got a good deal on it at Lady Parts R Us!"

Also my script for anti-babies ran out, and while my parents would understand (they know we do what we do) and if I got knocked up, they wouldn't be horrified, since we're engaged and we both have great jobs and college degrees, not to mention they were only together for a year before Mom got 'blessed with my presence' and we've been together almost a year and a half now, I don't really want kids yet, if at all. And that would be tough to explain to HIS parents, who choose to believe the Brother moved in with us to keep an eye on us and make sure we behave ourselves. (Actual conversation, by the by.)

Not to mention, Fiance is eagerly anticipating a return email or call from a company he applied to so he can be a concept artist for them. It would eventually move us to Sunny CA where I can be fat and tan instead of fat and pasty white. Yay. Skin cancer AND obesity. After I'm done with this blog, I'm kicking his ass off the TV so I can play my wii fit. I will not be chunky anymore. The only thing about me I want chunky are my highlights!

I'm still musing over how I would tell my parents if I got knocked up. Probably write a blog! HAHA!!!

"Dear Mom and Dad, Guess you're Nana and Pawpaw now!"

....I'm calling the doctor.

EDIT: I want to make it painfully clear at this point in time to my mother, who I know will read this blog. The 'unexpected surprise' was leaving work early, not becoming a mom. I don't want to have to explain this over and over admist 15k text messages with only 2 words in them. I repeat... I am NOT a mommy. Not. A. Mom. Ok.