Friday, September 30, 2011

My Son

It finally hit me. I am going to be someone's mother. I just ... I don't know. Today, I woke up and all I could think about was my son. We call baby Drake by all manner of names. Drake, Baby F, Mini Me, Tummy Tumbler, our child... but just thinking "my son" seems to give him a little more identity.

I finally feel like this is real. I mean, really real. I find myself longing to hold him in my arms...

Wednesday is the first day of the third trimester. My mom said "now the fun really begins" but I am not quite sure what she meant by that? Wednesday is also my birthday. Hurray! But I am actually more excited about entering the third trimester instead of my birthday, I either must be getting older or I must officially be a mother.

Ps I love Brian a lot. He asked me what I was blogging about, and then suggested I blog about how much I love him.

I love him so much, I'd have his children. :D


A friend of ours (well, it's actually my brother in law's ex-wife, but we're still friends) recently gave birth to her little boy. She was 6 weeks ahead of me in pregnancy, and delivered her little boy early. Weighing 5 lbs and 5.56 ounces, and completely healthy, baby M was born at 12:30 AM on September 27th.

The mom, R, is doing great too! She and I were talking a bit about it yesterday over Facebook and she was telling me how she had no idea she was in labor at first. She had been having what she thought were gas pains all day, and had taken Gas-X to help alleviate it. She was working and didn't pay much attention to it.

I have heard that labor feels a lot like having to go poop really badly, like you are working one up, and it's not progressing quickly. So I asked her- did you kind of think that you were working up a poop?

And she said that is exactly how it feels. By the time she realized her "gas pains" had a rhythm to them, she called her doctor and they told her to go in to the hospital, she was already dilated 5 cm (about half way) and only made it to 9.5 before baby M arrived. 4 hours of labor. Wow.

I saw some pictures of the cute little boy and I started crying. This boy is so precious. I can't wait to hold my baby in my arms for the first time.

Congratulations again to R and her hubby for their new bundle of joy!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

An Almost Perfect Day

We were supposed to go to the fair today in my home town, but the weather decided to be nasty and mean so that was cancelled.

Instead, today was spent cleaning and organizing the baby's room, making beef stew with cornbread, grocery shopping and eating delicious Honeycrisp apples and warm, toasted bagels with honey pecan cream cheese spread, watching Mythbusters on Netflix, and running to Wal-Mart to pick up the rest of the baby stuff we had ordered online.

Bummed about the fair, as it was our only chance to go this year, but there will be other years. It's nice we got to spend some quality time together at home

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Wednesday's Here...Finally.

My only day off this week is Thursday, yet I keep managing to pick up hours. I know I really don't need to. I usually manage 25-30 hours a week and that's great- my income is technically all "free" meaning I don't need to use it for any expenses, except food.

Yet, I started off this week with 39 hours. Wow, 39 hours! I was so excited. I then booked an additional 7 hours. I'm up to 46. Sigh. I work a whopping 14 hours on Saturday. I think... I will cancel some of those. Like, 6 of them, so I can have a semi-day off.

Anyway, despite a long long week, last night our friend came over and he had his little girl with him. She just turned 2. It's been forever since I have seen a 2 year old. I was so nervous about her coming over with Max, I didn't think he would hurt her or anything, I just thought he'd knock her over and make her cry or something.

At first he was VERY eager to be all over her. But after a few "Ah-ah!"s and "Leave it!"'s he calmed down considerably. She did everything that a two year old would do- laugh, cry, scream, giggle, run, pick up his toys, throw them at his head, pat him on the head, tell him NO, give him kisses, freak out when he gave her kisses back...

And my dog did VERY well. I am so impressed. This is a dog who just shakes if you look at him wrong. I wasn't sure how he would handle a child. I figured he would start shaking and drooling... but I was wrong. He loved playing with that little girl and knew exactly when he was being too rambunctious and when he was being a good dog.

Wow. There was a moment where he was laying down and she went up to him and sat against his side and they looked so precious... I grabbed my camera... but then her daddy told her it was time for her to eat and he ruined my photo op! But that's alright.

Today I am going to do my best to just work on my other bootie I am making for my dad, instead of playing Dragon Age every chance I get! I also need to eat sometime today...something that just isn't fast food. Ugh. I think tonight we will have chicken stir fry for dinner, and I am going to make extra so I can eat it tomorrow too.

Hope that everyone has been having a good week so far.

Monday, September 26, 2011

The Shoe's On the Other Foot

Well in between working a lot, I have been crocheting. I decided to put off the baby blanket for the moment, because my dad wanted a pair of booties for himself, and I was worried I would run out of yarn half way through. So I got one of them done yesterday, and I did it in the women's sizes instead of the mens... Actually, half way through, I tried it on, found out it fit me just fine, so I ended up going for the CHILD's size.

After it was all done, it fit me perfectly, but my dad's feet are just a shade bigger than mine. Curious, I asked Brian to try it on, and it stretched to fit him perfectly too! Brian wears a size 12, and I think my dad is a 9.

So it stretches, yet holds it's shape. Perfect. I made notes all over the pattern and am starting the second one today. Dad will have new booties by Thursday :)

I'm doing good, pregnancy wise. Besides an incurable back ache and some rather persistent heart burn, I've been doing pretty well keeping myself from going insane. Cleaning helps a lot, and so does working extra hours. I have a full week this week- working 42 hours (still got 1 day off!)

Laundry is dwindling, fast. Brian's been very helpful, for which I'm grateful.

I've even had some time to play video games. Currently replaying Dragon Age as a rogue dwarf, which is nice but harder than it sounds!

How are you all doing?

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Sunday Morning

I joined Ravelry- a knit and crochet community a while ago but just now got around to using the website. I found a pattern for a pair of booties I thought my dad would really like and started on them early in the morning. The pattern was really well written and it's making it easy to work up. I guess the rating of "easy-peasy" was accurate.

I finally fell asleep around 5 am. Only to be woken up at 10 am, by my husband's cell phone ringing and text messages going off. Turns out... Our bank was trying to get a hold of us. On a Sunday.

I logged in to Chase to see what was going on. They said a "suspicious" purchase of $124.13 had occurred on our account and they were calling to verify whether or not it was fraudulent.

Wal-Mart had double charged us. I spent $163.61 last night and it had charged our card. Two of the items on the order were available at our local store for pick up today, totaling $39.48. Wal-Mart then charged our card a second time for the remaining balance of $124.13.

Our bank thought this was highly suspicious. It is. I am pretty sure that it is going to "disappear" as it is still only pending, but the very nice man with the bank said that if it went through and deducted the funds, to call back and they would refund us our money and dispute the charge.


Too anxious to fall back asleep, I decided we should go to Wal-Mart and pick up our items that we got. A Leachco Cuddle-U and more nursing pillow and a microwave bottle sterilizer from Munchkin.

The nursing pillow is neat; part pillow, part booster seat. It allows baby to be propped up in a few different positions and even comes with a little safety harness so he won't just topple over. A neat design. It also has silhouettes of animals as the print hehe

The sterilizer seems like the kind of thing I need... It holds 2 breast pump shields and 4 bottles of any brand or size. Also it has tongs. Wee!

At this point, I'm tired, cranky, and hungry. So we went to Starbucks and got ourselves some coffee and a snack. It took forEVER because it's Sunday morning and everyone and their brother was at Starbucks. I'm sipping on my caramel macchiato now wishing I had been smart to get the white chocolate mocha instead, since I like it better. Oh well. For the snack, I wanted a slice of Very Berry coffee cake, but it was sold out. Instead I got a slice of Iced Lemon pound cake, which was pretty good. Brian got a regular mocha with a Marshmallow Dream bar, which is essentially a giant Rice Krispie treat with extra marshmallows in them.

Not a bad day, just an unexpected way to start it. The rest of the day will be spent working. Boo.

What are you guys all up to this weekend?

Baby Shower! & Ramblings

I had so much fun at our baby shower Saturday! We got lots and lots and lots of great gifts! Our nursery is very stuffed full of delightful gifts and I haven't had any motivation to start sorting it out. We also got some money, which we needed! I finished buying everything else we didn't get from our registry, so now we have everything! Hurray!!

The rest of the money (there was plenty left over) went straight into savings and now we have over half of our starter emergency fund, rent is paid, and we are starting on next month's expenses! A whole week early, but it is so much better than we have been doing.

This baby is a blessing in so many ways. We are finally getting our act together- paying bills on time/early, saving, and keeping up the house are just a few of the perks we didn't really think about before.

After a quick power nap (who knew showers could be so exhausting?) I got a bug up my butt about doing laundry. I've done 4 loads today and am slowly working my way through our mess of a walk in closet.

Pretty much this week is going to be about cleaning our room up so we can get the nursery sorted out and put everything together. I am very excited about how much wonderful stuff we have! I feel so blessed. I know it sounds cheesy (oh she's so hormonal, she's blessed about everything) but it really shows how much friends and family care. It's a scary transition to suddenly be expecting a child and not have any clue on how to do anything at all.

Enjoy the pictures! There aren't any of family/people in them, because I didn't take any. I'll have to wait until I get some from other family members.

The cake! the booties have a place to put a name and date on them hehe

The candy I made! Ducks for Drake!

The cute table

The present area- it filled up overflowing after I took the pic, hehe

Welcome baby!

Nursery is packed!

My goodies, my goodies!
A diaper genie (pail), diapers, blankets, stroller
clothes, ... you get the idea!

Car seat.

The bags/tub is full of baby clothes I have yet to sort

This high chair is super nice- it reclines in 3 different positions to accommodate baby in various stages

This 'bouncy' chair vibrates to simulate car rides! the screw drivers
are a nice touch as well. :P

Diaper bag stuffed full of goodies!
Pacifiers, wipes, wash cloths, diaper cream, etc

This mobile is so cute, and such a steal! :)
And yes, that is a Borderlands video game poster on the wall. 

Friday, September 23, 2011


It's 3:20 am not all that late really

But I am incredibly sleepless, restless, etc.

My uterus is growing again. I can tell because it's sharp, stabbing pain in my abdomen currently where the top of my uterus resides (about 2 inches above my belly button). It hurts to breathe deeply. It hurts to breathe normally. It hurts to bend over. It hurts to move. It just hurts.

So here I am typing away while my husband snores. I could spend the hours glaring at him but really that isn't fair since he works tomorrow. Today, rather.

I am jealous of him. He sleeps so well and soundly most nights. I say most nights because sometimes I have really bad heartburn and spend half the night retching in the bathroom (I try to be polite and quiet.)

He then goes to the store to get me some Zantec because he knows it's the only thing that will stop the heartburn and the vomiting and the uncontrollable sobbing.

In just 5 short days I will be out of the second trimester and in the home stretch! That means... a lot more uterus pain for me haha. Being only 5ft4 ish... I don't have a lot of torso. I'm continuing to bulge out. My uterus is already near my sternum, and apparently I have three more inches of upward growing to do.. I don't think that is going to happen!

I do think my belly button will "pop" though. I can see it stretching out and it is becoming shallower. I can actually see the whole thing, even the bottom of it. Which is odd because even when I was skinny I couldn't see it. Now that I am turning into the very definition of "round" I can see it.

If I move my boobs out of the way, I can see an inch of my toes. That is fast disappearing though.

I've been crocheting up sections for the baby blanket. I got 2 and 2/3 of my 9 patches done.

Then I can start on my dad's man sized baby booties.

I'm exhausted and so ready to collapse. I can't though. Too much achiness. Hoping that the Excedrin will kick in soon. Even the baby (who is normally very active at this time of night/early morning) is silent and still- perhaps he knows that this is not a good time to swim around. Mom is already on edge. Haha.

I did a lot today. Er, yesterday. It's still my today. I did a lot. I went to the grocery store and bought food for the baby shower. I bought stuff for sloppy joe sandwiches, a fruit tray, veggie tray, and cheese tray. Vegetable dip and fruit dip. 6 different types of soda. In the mail I got my supplies for candy making. I spent today testing it out. Yep, delicious. Now I get to spend tomorrow making it all. Woohoo!

Shoot. I forgot crackers. Maybe grandma or mom will read this and buy some (hint!)

Ah I am going to go drink some water or something and watch Harry Potter until I fall asleep.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Harry Potter

Oh yes, Brian and I are currently obsessed with Harry Potter. I mean, we are obsessed.

We watched all of the DVDs a few nights in a row up to Deathly Hallows: Part 1. We have not seen DH: Part 2, so please don't ruin it for us. We have both read the books but forgotten what has happened in the books. I remember the epilogue so I know how it ends, I just forget how the end gets to be the end. Ha!

Anyway, Part 2 comes to DVD November 11th, and Brian wants to buy it the day it comes out. I agree. I'd rather buy the whole set (because you know there is going to be a whole set)

We came up with the idea to have a Harry Potter Party (for 2) and I am going to make Butterbeer, chocolate frogs, and another HP treat, I may make something classically British. I downloaded the eBook of the Unofficial Cookbook for the Harry Potter world and it comes with a lot of traditional British recipes, which all sound... interesting. Treacle fudge? Steak and Kidney Pie? Spotted Dick? I don't know about any of those!

But I am willing to give it a go! Butterbeer is super easy- I've found several websites with the recipe and I know Brian will love it! Chocolate frogs- again, easy- just melt some chocolate and pour in frog molds.

Brian also wants me to make (crochet or knit) us a Harry Potter afghan with the Hogwarts House colors and crest, and he wants me to make him a Ravenclaw scarf. He wants me to make Max a doggy sweater with the Hufflepuff crest on it. He's a little ambitious. Ha! But it's a challenge I am up to. He wants me to make a little baby Slytherin sweater for Drake.

I'm thinking of picking up a knitting loom so I can make these quicker than with crochet. He's cracking me up because he thinks about Harry Potter just as much as I do. Every once in a while, he will throw out a question "Why do you think [so and so] did [such and such]?" It's on the brain!

We have all the audio books (the British version!) which are read by Stephen Fry, and we listen to them while we work on our respective tasks- Brian while doodling, me while crocheting for the baby blanket.

We have been seeing Harry Potter stuff EVERYwhere. Friends (who we don't really chat to) are posting Harry Potter fan art on our Facebook pages. Legos. Posters.

I even found a library book with Harry Potter knit crafts. Oh how I wish I knew how to knit! I am definitely going to learn for the heck of it. Brian thinks knitting is a noble art (far better than crochet, because it seems 'less full of holes')

So.... any one else like Harry Potter?

Tuesday, September 20, 2011


The lovely Miss S gave me such a great idea yesterday- instead of a baby shower, let's do a meet the baby party instead!

This is perfect because it gives us time to focus on what needs to be focused on (such as cleaning and painting the nursery, etc) and hopefully, it will give us enough time for the drama to settle down. It seems like his family isn't quite excited about a baby- which is okay- but it's everyone's first grandchild, so I don't know what to think.

The family I thought would be over the moon about grandchildren was his family. It's not. The family I thought was going to be like "oh God you ruined your young lives" was my family. They're actually super excited and supportive. I guess it means I don't know anyone very well at all... or maybe a baby really does change things.

The Meet The Baby party is going to be great, I am way more excited about it than I was a shower, and when I mentioned it to Brian ("Hey, baby? What do you think of this idea?") He was all excited too, he thought it was a great idea and we should definitely do it.

Miss S, you definitely took a huge load off of my mind. It seems so simple now. Thank you.

I don't know why I thought I had to be traditional in having a baby shower before the baby arrived. I hardly do anything 'traditional' in my life. I didn't get married in a church. I got married in front of the courthouse. I don't have a 'regular job', I work from home. I am not even doing baby games at the baby shower- I never wanted them. So I am going to say I am not a traditionalist, in the traditional sense. And we are having a Meet The Baby party instead.

Brian said he would design the new invitations, which of course, will have a picture of the baby on them. We are also going to send out "Save the Dates" like one would at a wedding. (Which, by the way, we also didn't do- we actually only told our families the month before lol)

This way, everyone knows that we are going to do it this way, and they have plenty of time to decide whether or not they want to come.

Remember how I said I was nesting? It's getting worse. I crocheted a baby hat. And then? Baby booties. I got one done last night, and I am going to do the other today (they take about an hour or so to make each one)

I promise to post pics. I have to. You see, whenever I look at them, something weird happens. I go "Awwwwwww!" and start to get teary-eyed. I really wish I was exaggerating, but I am not.

I'm not the only one who is feeling the impending arrival of our little one... Yesterday I caught Brian in the nursery playing with the baby swing... he had put a stuffed dog toy in it and turned it on. Yeah, I about died from cuteness overload on that one! Brian's getting really excited about having a baby now. He walks around with this huge grin on his face all the time. It's really sweet.

Monday, September 19, 2011


Brian and I are going back and forth on this whole 2nd baby shower thing.. it's become a mess to be honest and we aren't quite sure how to handle it.

Do we have the party here at our apartment and risk alienating family members who have difficulty climbing stairs?

Do we rent our apartment complex clubhouse and foot the bill ourselves? It's $200 ($100 of that is a deposit that would be returned)

Do we not even have another party?

It's frustrating because we had asked his mom to plan it for us (trying to be nice) but it all sort of back fired because she doesn't want to make any decisions. Any decisions we made and told her about, she didn't agree with. So now we are stuck in a weird-limbo-etiquette-thing. How do you kindly say "Thanks but we'll take over from here!"

I don't know. But I need to get it figured out now, because we are wanting to do this October 22nd.

Brian's at the point now where he would just rather not have one. I'm almost there myself. This whole thing is causing a lot more heart ache than it is worth, simply because we feel trapped. Are we really? Who is to say, I don't know. I am sorely tempted to do our own thing because that is what we need to do, what ever our own thing is.

The thing is, his family is so large that any place we would do it at would have to be either our apartment or his parent's house, and she doesn't want anyone over there. Which is fine. So we are left between hosting it ourselves and renting somewhere out. It's frustrating, to say the least. One moment I want to have a party because I want his family to feel included in our lives, and the next moment I am saying I don't want to have a party, and we'll be fine.

We've both tried talking to his mom about it, but it's gone nowhere fast and I just don't see a resolution. I also sort of don't want 30+ people in my apartment.

So I don't know. I will have to ask Brian what he thinks (again) and try and figure this out with him. We have already calculated the costs of hosting it here vs renting, so that helps. But we also need to figure out the amount of emotional stress this is going to cause. Renting is certainly easier- it takes the pressure off of us and having an immaculate apartment. Hosting is far cheaper, but comes with added pressure. Hmm...

I will have to stew on this some more.

Any thoughts or ideas would be great, considering I have none. Either way, we are doing a potluck, so that takes out the cost of food.

Sunday, September 18, 2011


Oh yes dear friends,

I either have been afflicted with the nesting instinct, or some sort of bug that requires me to do all the cleaning ever.

I am hoping it is the former and not the latter. The former is curable... the latter feels like a disease. Ha!

First up on the nesting chopping block? We got a whole bunch of stuff from my mom yesterday that she had bought at a garage sale (more on everything later) and one of the items was Winnie the Pooh bedding (at a steal for $5)

I have piled everything in the nursery thinking "I'll get to this tomorrow" however I can't stop thinking about it. I have started to clean. 

I need to move the recliner out of the nursery so I can bring in a dresser and a rocking chair. The recliner will be going in our bedroom, for now. Which means I need to clean the bedroom and get all the laundry done so I can have a place to put the recliner.

The washing machine is already running and I have officially flipped my lid, cleaning out the closet, the bedroom and piling all the clothes by the door, sorting through them. Nothing crazy! Just towels, bedding, jeans, tops, underwear/sock piles. I am not even sorting by colors/whites. Just making things a little easier.

Then I have a list of things for Brian to do!

  • Pick up all the trash in both rooms
  • Vacuum
  • Clean the bathrooms up (empty the trash, clean the mirror/sink)

 And this can be handled while I am putting away all the clothes! We have a lot of clothes.

I have a clear plastic dresser thing with 3 drawers that is going into the baby's room. This is going to be filled with baby things like burp cloths and changing pad cloth things... simply because those items are so essential, I'd love to see where they are!

There was one thing I could do immediately to help satisfy part of my nesting twitch, and here it is. I put the bedding on the crib.

See? I even took pictures. This should indicate the seriousness of my condition.

This crib looks too empty and lonely...

There, I fixed it.

Brian even took notice of me cleaning .

"You are going to be a great mother."
"Why?" *as I fumble with a dust ruffle* "Do dust ruffles go under the mattress?"
"What's a dust ruffle?"
"I think it's this thing."
"Huh, no idea."
"So what were you saying about me being a great mother?"
"Just that it's really cute how you're getting all into this."

More shenanigans as they unfold, I promise! PS what color do you think we should paint the nursery? We are kind of going Winnie the Pooh themed.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Light Reading

Well I did a little research on the subject of gestational diabetes and from what I've read, I am not really at risk for it. Though more common in obese women who are pregnant, it only affects 5-10% of all pregnant women. These women normally have high blood pressure, and considering the numbers from yesterday where I was completely normal, well, I don't think I have much to worry about.

I am still not looking forward to this test, but I still have to do it.

Aside from that I am doing alright. I think I have another yeast infection though- surprise! I am just predisposed to them to begin with, but with pregnancy it seems like I have one at least every month. My doctor wasn't concerned though, so I guess it's nothing to worry about. I might just get some yogurt and eat that forever and hope that it will get me back to normal.

My hips hurt really bad today, to the point where it is near impossible to walk, lay on my side, or generally just ... exist. Haha. Heat therapy and Tylenol are in my future for sure today.

Brian and I plundered through the 3rd installment of the Harry Potter films. We just got Deathly Hallows pt 1 in the mail from Netflix today, so we got a lot of catching up to do.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Completely Average

Most people don't want to be average in their lives, but I can tell you one thing: I am so so happy I am having an "average" pregnancy.

Here's the run down...

Blood pressure: 128/60- Completely normal. Pre-preggers my blood pressure was through the roof, and very much borderline requiring treatment. Last check up I had at my regular doctor had me at 178/80

Weight: 239. Officially the highest I have ever weighed in my life, but completely average weight gain for pregnancy. I am at 25 weeks and have gained 17 lbs, 4 of which were in the last month- an average of 1 lb a week- which is right on target. (I might gain the 30 or so lbs of baby weight that a lot of women gain, but I am coming to terms with that.)

Uterus measurement: "Right on the money," according to my doctor. I seem to have run out of space in my abdomen for my internal organs because of the baby, but it's completely normal! Actually, Brian and I found out where my fundus was (the top part of the uterus) just by pressing up my abdomen. Currently, it's about an inch above my belly button.

Drake was kind enough to kick and squirm the entire check up and my doctor again, said that it was a sign of healthy growth and that he was pleased with our progress.

Baby heart rate: 138 beats a minute. The range at this stage is 120-160, so again, I fall in the completely average area. When I first had the heart rate checked, it was a little high, but it seems Drake and I have both mellowed out.

So it's good to know that I am still going strong. 25 weeks 1 day is where I am at now.

Next month I have my gestational diabetes testing- I am so not looking forward to it. I am deeply terrified of being told I am diabetic. But I know that whatever comes my way, I will do what I have to. Hopefully if I am diagnosed it does not mean that I will be diabetic afterwards, though I might continue on with the lifestyle just to be sure.

So the count down is on... 15 weeks until baby Drake makes his appearance. Or thereabouts lol

Doctor's Visit

I absolutely hate going to the doctor for a routine visit, especially when I am not being tested for anything or getting an ultrasound. UGH. I have an appointment here in an hour and I am not looking forward to it. I think I should just skip it...

But technically, I already have used my insurance for my appointments, tests, and the delivery and I have a $550 bill that I have to pay... so I might as well go, since I'll be paying for it whether I go or not.

Today it is 60 degrees out and sunny- perfect pre-fall weather. I love autumn. Cool, crisp air, hooded sweatshirts, cotton leggings... ahhhh. What a day.

Last night, I'll have you know that I did something both incredibly stupid and incredibly satisfying.

I went to Dunkin' Donuts and got a dozen assorted donuts. Came home, ate 4 of them. Put the rest in the fridge for Brian (ha!) and took a nap. When Brian got home, I finally broke down and let him know that I was actually really sad about yesterday. He told me I should just cry when I feel like crying and stop trying to make myself feel guilty about it or force myself to move on before I am ready.

So to remedy my loneliness, Brian and I cuddled on the sofa with my quilt and we watched Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Brian has not seen it all the way through, which was odd to me, because he's seen all the other ones. I made the joke the reason he hasn't seen it all the way through was because the movie had a very weak story line! Hahaha... he didn't think it was funny. Chamber was not my favorite book, nor was it my favorite movie. My favorite book probably was Goblet of Fire, since there was just so much more to the whole thing, and you kind of don't figure out the whole plot to the damn movie/book in the first 15 minutes.

After we went to bed, we laid there discussing what we thought the next big epic series of movies was going to be. You know, there was Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Harry Potter. Brian said Pirates of the Caribbean was another one, but I kind of disagree. It's great, just not epic. Then we started talking about our favorite parts of LotR, and I mentioned my favorite part was Viggo Mortenson hehe ;) Gotta love me some Ranger.

I'm feeling much better and there are still 6 donuts in the house, so that should tell you that I stopped eating them.

Anyway. what do you guys think is the next big epic? I'm not much of a movie buff (like, at all... I rarely watch movies) so I'm probably going to disagree or be clueless, but I am interested in knowing what you filmies all think.

Anyone else there not a big movie fan? Or is it just me? I get called weird all the time because I just don't care about movies much.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Very Sad

Ok, I am not going to lie. I am very sad. I knew there was only a small chance I would get that job. I knew that there were better candidates out there, and I know that I am having a child in 3 months and won't want to work anyway....

But I am still sad. Rejection doesn't ever really get any easier. Though it does get easier to deal with over time.

It didn't help I got the call right before Brian left for work, he's working until at least 11 tonight and possibly later.

Part of me just wants to drown in a personal pan pizza and breadsticks. Part of me just wants to sleep all night.

I feel really very sad.

The rain doesn't help. Or maybe it does. I probably would have gone out and bought brownies or donuts or something to help drown my sorrows, but I hate driving.. and I hate driving at night.. and I hate driving at night in the rain. So I am home.

Normally I try to be all chipper and stiff upper lip and what not but today is not that day.

I'm trying to focus on the positives. And I'll be alright tomorrow. I'm just feeling a little vulnerable today.
I think it's important for me to share that I am feeling this way, otherwise I'll bottle it all up and go crazy and eat like 4 logs of cookie dough on the toilet...Like this!

No not really... I wouldn't have a lighter.

Tomorrow will be a better day. I'm just pregnant. Again.

And the Beat Goes On


I had a fantastic interview this morning. Going into it, I told myself to give it my 100% and whatever the outcome I was just thankful for the opportunity to interview. I knew I had a chance, but it was a small one. After all, working at the library means it's notoriously hard to get into, even if you have a MLS. It just ... is. It's one of those positions where supply is always higher than demand. Hence, I only got 2 interviews in 4 years.

But I got there a little early, we had a great time talking and chatting, and had both the ladies laughing the whole time. It was a great experience.

I left not ten minutes later, thinking that I had done my best and I was so happy, and heck, I might even get the job.

3:55 pm.

I got the rejection phone call. We have gone with another candidate, and appreciate your time.

I can't be too sad. I can be a little, of course, but I can't be too sad. I am going to have to go back to school if I want to get my dream job in the library system. Which is okay.

I told them that I appreciated the opportunity to interview and to thank them once again for giving up part of their morning to meet with me.

And the beat goes on.

Brian told me that he thinks it's probably best now that I wait until we have the baby and then start looking for work again. He's probably right.

This day wasn't a total bummer. Not by a long shot, I had a fantastic day! I got paid today and we have paid absolutely every bill except for October's rent. Brian still has one pay check and 2 weeks worth of tips to make, so we are so on track for the month, even with the dog getting sick! Hurray!! It felt so good to tell him that we paid it all.

It's an awesome feeling.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Make Cash Now

Ohhh cash. Cash cash cashcashcash cassssssssssssssh.

I need cash. NEED it.

So here's what I am doing to bring in more CASH.

1. Sell the Wii! 

It's here on eBay and you can totally bid if you want (pleasepleaseplease) You don't even have to bid to win, but it would be awesome if you did. Think of how cool of a Christmas gift it would be!

2. Sell my laptop! 

I still got to get around to taking pictures of it, but it's also going to go on eBay/Craigslist and hope to rake in a little extra dough there too!

3. Roller blades Go Bye Bye!

Sell! SELL! Also need to dig out the camera for this! And the roller blades.

4. Discount, please!

Brian gets a 23% discount on our wireless bill through his work! However, the account has to be in his name first, and they charge $36 to change account ownership, but after that, we will be reaping the rewards. Currently our bill is $100.89 a month, so at 23% off we would be paying $77.69 - a savings of $23.20 EVERY month.

That's pretty much all I can sell right now, unless any one else has any ideas?

Having that extra job will totally help too. I am going to go meditate on that for a while and hope that Wednesday comes soon.

Sunday, September 11, 2011


I'm having a hard time processing some of my thoughts lately. Between staying up with a sick dog and worrying over him, to some family drama, things are a little hectic to say the least.

I'm running on E on sleep and thankfully, have a light work load next week so I can catch up on it. I'm not worried about money, but it is worrisome that there is only $10 in our bank account right now. Remember the vet bill? Yeah it set us back quite a bit but we were still able to pay it off in full. I am not acquiring any more debt, so I made sure we paid it in full, even if we had to suffer for a few days until I got paid.

I've spent a lot of time working on my Total Money Makeover because it's the only thing that is distracting me right now. I have to be honest- I am so enthralled by this process, I am so ready to be gazelle-intense, and I am so thankful that some of my readers have done it and can tell me it works. 

You guys rock. You are keeping me on track. You are keeping Brian hopeful. He said "it's almost like a cult!" I told him there is a line in the book that tells you to shave your head and drink the Kool-Aid and he just looked at me in horror. He really thought it was a cult. It's pretty funny! But he has since read some of the stories on Dave's website. We are more interested in reading those stories of people like us. With our income level or our amount of debt, or those who were so far into debt it was unfathomable for us. 

It's really uplifting, at least to me. Finally I see things starting to move in a positive direction. 
What is important to me is my husband and my child and my dog. I am doing my best- pouring my heart into this Total Money Makeover- to get out of debt, to have an emergency fund, to have a savings, that way we can DO the things we want to. I have even convinced Brian that if he read the Total Money Makeover book, that he too, would get the fire. So here we are. Ready to start a new day. 

I may only have $10 in my bank account, but I am richer for the experiences. I have a lot to be proud of this week. For taking care of Max. For paying his vet bill in full. For using the rest of the money we had left over to pay bills. For putting our Wii up on eBay (as of now, it has 9 watchers/8bids/40 views and it's been less than 24 hours!!) For selling my laptop. For writing all of our bills out. For writing our budget out. For realizing that I had spent all of my "allowance" and putting something back I wanted, because I didn't have the money for it.

If we have enough focus to become debt free (and Dave said the process will take about 1 and 1/2- 2 years) if we are GAZELLE intense.... that means it will be my greatest accomplishment. My greatest challenge. And once that is done, there is no stopping me.

Saturday, September 10, 2011


Today was a very emotional day for me. It was like the Universe just decided to give me a pop quiz to see how well I had been paying attention, and I felt like I had been caught sleeping. 

I don't know if I passed with flying colors, but I know that I scraped by. I was caught off guard on a lot of things that happened today. Aside from having a very pregnant/princess tantrum, I think I handled things as best as I could. 

But now I am at peace. I have taken the test. Regardless of pass or fail, I cannot dwell on it any longer. Y'know why? It's in the past. It does not do well to dwell on things I can no longer control.

What I can control is tomorrow though. I put my big girl panties on and lace up my big girl shoes and I make some very tough, very real decisions. 

Our emergency fund NEEDS to be replenished. Our checking account NEEDS to be replenished. So something has got to give. Actually, some things have got to go. I have some items that I am going to sell and Brian is staring at me incredulously. He cannot believe that I am going to sell my laptop, our roller blades and our Nintendo Wii. 

Even though we don't need this stuff, he has a hard time believing that I would be so willing to part with it. I'm over it, baby! It's nothing to me except dollar signs. 

I'm really trying to take to heart the principles I read about through Dave Ramsey. I'm really tired of not having any money and wondering where it all went. I'm tired of being called by collectors and I am tired of being poor. I am tired of it all, honestly. And with a baby on the way? It scares me. 

I know that everyone has debt. But I don't want to be like everyone else. So I am starting over. Brian is so on board with this (except for the stuff selling.)

I'm going to get my bills paid this month. I am going to start saving for the emergency fund. And I am going to get on track. I am getting another job. I am doing monthly budgets. I have wrote out where I "thought" our money was going and then seeing where it actually went. Believe it or not, I was right on target with our spending. I knew where it all was going, I just didn't realize that was where it was all going. 

We have a very loose budget right now. Next month we will evaluate it and tighten up where the leaks are. Our biggest concern is definitely eating out. We eat out all the time! It's appalling! But we made it work with our budget. We set aside a little bit of cash- yes, cash!- in an envelope and it is labeled "Eating out money"
We also made a rule: We eat out only on Thursdays. We also have a cash envelope for grocery shopping, which we have also started doing on Thursdays. 

The cash system is pretty hard for me to grasp, I guess. I think I have been brainwashed by debit cards and convenience, so having cash is going to take some getting used to. Maybe I'll get the hang of it when we have to put items back at the store because we don't have enough cash in our hands, and we left our cards at home. Humble pie for 1, please.

I am focusing on this feeling of freedom. On this thought process of being free from debt. On the idea that I can be financially fit. Right now, I am focused on building a small (uber small) emergency fund of $500 because $1000 feels so out of reach right now, but $500 feels challenging yet attainable. Like losing that first 5 lbs at Weight Watchers. 

Max is doing great today! He's been restricted to 1/4 c. of liquid at a time (water or broth) for 24-48 hours, and then can go bland with rice.

Keep me in your thoughts and prayers and definitely think positive thoughts on the job front. I want a new job so badly, I'm almost ready to burst.

Friday, September 9, 2011


EDIT: Max went to the vet, and had an x-ray. We have determined that there is probably nothing going on intestinal  however, he had a shot to stop vomiting, and he has pills to take for diarrhea. We have until Monday to get him back to normal before we have to take him back. 

Let me introduce you to Murphy.

I know what you are thinking. "Hey, that looks like Max!" It is Max, but today we are calling him Murphy.


Last night I read and finished Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover. In it, Ramsey discusses 7 Baby Steps to becoming debt free.

Brian and I were so excited. We had just started a savings account with $25 to open and $25 a month instant transfer. We also were putting away 10% of his tips to put into savings. We were well on our way to Baby Step 1- Building an Emergency Fund. Looking over our budget, we were so proud. We will have $1000 in emergency cash in NO TIME, we thought.

Dave warns you though, that once you start putting money away, Murphy will show up. You all know who Murphy is? That guy with the law? "Anything that can go wrong, will." That guy is an asshole. After we had scraped together some starter funds last night, we were feeling so empowered.

We will beat this. We are going to live like no one else, so we can LIVE like no one else.

We were intense.

This morning? Max decided to have massive diarrhea in our bedroom. Thankfully on the floor. But it was the most rancid, god awful odor I have ever smelled in my entire life. He then proceeded to vomit- repeatedly.

Clearly he got into something he shouldn't have. Though what it was, we aren't sure.

Dave Ramsey said in his book- "The moment you decide that you are sick and tired of being sick and tired and declare that you are ready to do ANYTHING to get out of debt and live debt free, God will test your resolve."

Not only did God (or the universe or whatever you believe in) test our resolve today, we actually had to go and BUY some Resolve to clean the floor!

I Googled doggy diarrhea and found out that yeah, it's common. It's as common in dogs as it is in humans and just because a dog has diarrhea does not mean they are sick or have some disease. The best course of action is to give them broth for a few days, to help settle their stomach and keep them hydrated; then move on to what is known as a "bland diet" which is 2/3 cooked rice/cottage cheese and 1/3 boiled chicken or hamburger. If there are any other changes such bloody stool/vomit, then call the vet.

So we are on dog sitting duty for a while. Every hour, we take the dog out. He is on water and broth ONLY for 2 days. Once he proves that he can handle his liquids, I'll start on the bland diet.

Our will has been tested. Curse words have been said. Dry wretching has been done. Xanax has been taken.

But we are not broken. We are not letting this derail us any more. We will fight back.

And Murphy is no longer allowed in my house. Fuck you Murphy. Get out NOW.

And I intend to win against Murphy. I intend to shine through this test of wills and the divine/universe. I got an email today that a work at home company will be contacting me in a few days for an interview!

There is good in the bad. There is diamonds in the dog shit. I will get this under control.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Breathe, Christie, Breathe.

Hubby in a bad mood.
That pregnant chick harassing him at work again
He calls and complains, which is fine
But I swear to god I am about to throw down with this pregnant chick.

I know she's 17 and full of teenager hormones and pregnant hormones. Yeah, I get it.
But it bothers me that she can't take no for an answer
Brian calls and asks for advice
I told him to tell her very calmly and plainly "Stop it, or I'm getting management involved"
he said thats harsh
I said act like you're a woman and she's a man and shes always hitting on you
Is it harsh then?
"But I don't want to cause any drama at work."
I don't want to hear about it any more so get her to stop or I swear to god I'll go up there myself and beat some sense into her <-- pregnancy rage filled thoughts

"Yeah but she's disrupting your work and making you uncomfortable. It's how it's supposed to be handled."

She actually told him- TOLD, not asked- that we needed to set up a time so we can go on a double date with her and her baby daddy. Brian didn't say anything, and just left. Her baby daddy works there too and had asked Brian earlier in the day if we wanted to go out on a double date and Brian flat out told him "Sorry, not interested"

So wtf is it like a twilight zone thing where No means Yes, please pick a time?

I distinctly remember being a teenage girl and being retarded. Brian said he remembers being a retarded teenage boy- that's how it is- but come on...

We're ten years older than them. Well, Brian is. I'm not. I'm only EIGHT.

Bah. Let them think that we are going on a double date with them if they are going to be so damn delusional I doubt it would make much of a difference whether or not we actually showed up. They'd probably come into work the next day talking about how much fun we all had. O_o

Weight Off My Shoulders

And off my ass, too, I guess! I woke up this morning afternoon and weighed in at 233... 2 lbs down from yesterday. All I did was eat normally, but I logged everything I ate. Turns out I still struggled to hit my daily calories, so I guess since I threw away the pie that was what I needed!

I also ended up drinking nearly a gallon of water/Crystal Light. Increased fluid intake + pregnant = mucho bathroom trips! I got up 4 or 5 times during the night thinking I was about to explode if I didn't get to the bathroom NOW.

I feel much more in control. I am just going to keep doing that. Logging food. Drinking fluids.

It feels so good to finally be back in the driver's seat. Don't worry about the weight- it will do what it wants, but don't encourage it to get out of control. Eating a whole cheesecake pie and a half a dozen donuts isn't benefiting me or the baby. Being conscious of eating every few hours, keeping myself occupied instead of bored? That's what will benefit both of us.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

September Breeze

Oh man, am I ever loving this weather. 64 degrees today and partly sunny- my perfect weather.

Max and I went on a walk, as promised. And I was right, he had no idea what was coming. I started getting ready and picked out some socks. I noticed Max was in his crate, sitting there, shaking and had his head ducked down.

He knew something was up. No one ever wears socks in this house.

I asked him what was wrong and he just shook harder. I told him that every thing was okay and I don't know what to think when he does that. He just looked so pathetic.

Then I got my shoes on and he seemed to sink into a deep depression/worry phase... Something's wrong with him, I swear! But I told him he's being silly.

"Max, come on out."


"Max, come out, come here."

Still nothing.

"Okay, you can stay in here, but I'm going on a walk."

Ears perk up, I have his attention now.

"Yeah, I was thinking I would take you on a walk with me"

He comes out, a little excited but still apprehensive.

"Did you want to go on a walk with me, Max?"

Finally it sunk in- WE WERE GOING ON A WALK!! He ran in circles as fast as he could for about 5 minutes. I didn't interrupt him, because I was too busy laughing my ass off.

I mean, look how stupid happy he gets! I chimed in, clapping and saying "Go Max go!" over and over again, he's tearing through the apartment, running down and up the hall way, around the coffee table and back again.

He calms down enough to where he is just grinning big and eagerly. He whines a little, the only time he makes any noise is when we are going for a walk or going bye byes in the car, impatient for me to get everything around. I'm eating a chocolate fiber bar, and drinking water with deliberate slowness, it seems, from the glares I am getting now. I ignore them and finish my snack.

I grab the keys, my phone, and his leash and away we go! He's in such a hurry to go outside that I have to constantly remind him to "Wait." He does so, but only barely. Obvious effort on his part and I make sure to reward him with lots of praise. "Good Max, that's a good wait!" And finally, we are out the door. We take our time walking. After all, I'm 6 months pregnant so I am not setting any speed records, and Max is just as out of shape as I am, since I haven't walked him since March, at least.

We traipse along, no rush, nothing to do but sniff the air, sniff the ground, watch people, and lick butts (well, Max did all that.) I relished the breeze and watched the trees move in the wind, and enjoyed the crisp fall air. I love fall. 

Max's tongue is lolling out the side of his mouth and he has stopped to sniff absolutely everything. "Leave it" and he runs to catch back up with me, because I didn't stop.

We make it on to the trail. We used to ride our bikes on that trail, remember?

Seems like a life time ago.

But today, no one is out and about. It's just me and Max on this winding road, soaking in nature.

It was heavenly.

Here are some highlights.
Let's sniff this 

Let's sniff over here now 



Sniff over here now 

More trees

Swaying in the breeze

Dead thing with branches

Really tall dead thing with branches

More tall trees

Ahh! Another tree

Look how tall this dead thing is!

Max thought this fence was his best friend. I took a pic for him.

It's an entrance to a secret, far away place. Where they hide dead bodies.

Look how big this field is. GEEZUS.

Squinty sunlight pic- MANDATORY

Attempted introspective pic- MANDATORY

Awesome house peeking out of the trees. WANT.
So I took 3 pictures of myself, walked 40 minutes, wore out my dog, and got in touch with nature and dead things with branches.

Pretty awesome, if I do say so myself.

The Grand Scale

So for the last month or so, I have not had a scale in my house. I had a nice digital one for a while, but the batteries died. My mom was sweet enough to buy us new batteries, but my scale is uhm, broke.

I finally bought another scale- a regular, dial scale. Brian tested it for me, and he still weighs... less than me! Hehe, any way, I got on the scale and it said 235.........

Wow. That is a lot. And that is not all baby.

I mean think about it, I haven't had a scale in the last 6 weeks and I gained 12 lbs... this is right on track of what I would have gained, pregnant or not. When I do not see a number glaring back on me at the scale, it keeps me in the dark.

I knew I had gained some weight. But I was not entirely convinced that it was ME who was out of control, because I didn't FEEL out of control.

It sucks because now I have to get things under control again and this time it's not just for me, it's for the baby. I am not setting out to lose weight. I just want to regain control. I want to say- hey, this is what I will eat, when I will eat, and walk for 30 minutes a day. Drink lots of water.

Lately I've been a soda fiend. We bought fifteen 2 liters in the last week and they are ALL gone! My cravings have been out of control.... Did you know I ate a whole cheesecake pie? Out of the two I made? I threw the other one away this morning- even though there was more than half a pie left. I had to get rid of it.

I just want to get back to feeling healthy, to making informed decisions, and to keep my weight in check. If I just maintained this weight, fine. I won't be upset. But to gain even more when it's not medically necessary (like my doctor keeps telling me) is stupid, foolish, and down right dumb.

This picture....

...reminds me a lot of this picture.

In it, we weigh the same. One is where I weigh enough for a person and a half, the other is me with a half a person inside me... It's crazy. Yes, I know I do not look like the latter picture anymore. I realize my face is thinner and I am pregnant. But I am saying it could easily happen again.

The baby bump picture was my first wake up call. 

"Oh my god!" I said when I opened up the pictures. 
"What?" Brian asked
"Is that what I really look like?" I stared in disbelief.
"What do you mean?"
"I feel like I look very fat."
"You're pregnant. You look nothing like you used to." 

It's true, but it still feels like I am on that verge. I just want to take back control.

It all started this morning when I threw away that pie. And it happened again when I downed my first glass of water (12 oz). And it's about to happen again when I go on that 30 minute walk with Max. He doesn't know it yet, bless his heart, but we are going. 

I need to find some socks and put on my walking shoes.
Today, I start walking proudly again.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

A Walk In September

Unsurprisingly, the day after I announced I was going to start taking the dog on a walk every day, the temperature rose and the heat index settled into the low 100s.

Being pregnant, I figured it's best to stay indoors on those days. Having an all black dog doesn't help either.

Today, however, it was only 70 degrees. Perfect weather for a brisk little walk. I set the timer on my phone to 15 minutes, laced up my shoes and grabbed the leash. We were gone!

We only walked around the apartment complex, because I didn't want to go to far. 15 minutes was plenty of time though- by the time I got back upstairs and in the apartment, both Max and I were panting! Hehehe.

It felt good to get out there walking again. Walking is one of my favorite forms of exercise. Considering you can do it just about anywhere, any time, well... it makes it a perfect free activity! Not to mention that Brian actually has a hard time keeping up with me once we start walking... I may have shorter legs, but generally I can go for longer without getting tired.

I hope the weather keeps like this for a while, I would love to continue on walking!

Stuffed Peppers

I made stuffed bell peppers for some friends of ours who came to visit today! I actually took pictures too, so I thought I would share! 

Serves 8*
What you need:

1 lb of italian ground sausage (I used mild)
.75 lbs ground beef
8* bell peppers
1 package Uncle Ben's Ready Rice
1 package Italian blend cheese
1 package shredded mozzarella cheese
1 32 ounce jar of spaghetti sauce
Vegetable juice as needed.

Meaty goodness. Vegans beware.

Brown that shit up
 Start off in a cold pan and turn it up to medium heat. Start crumbling and stirring constantly.
Stir frequently. Crumble.

Eat while you cook

Papa John's Cheesy Chicken Cordon Bleu w/ Spinach Alfredo sauce

This is 1 half of the sauce

Add in the sauce

Transfer to a bowl

Best rice ever

Add in 

My beautiful peppers

I love this cheese
Notice there is still sauce in the pan- that's part of my dinner!

Chop off the tops and a little of the bottoms so they stand up 

Filling them up is easy- spoon until overflowing

I got a lot of filling left over- probably got enough for about 4 more peppers

Then I cleaned the kitchen!

Look how nice!

I actually cooked up over 3.5 lbs of meat, part of it for spaghetti and part of it for peppers.

So there- I used my camera and made food. :) PS- it was well received by the company :)