Thursday, June 30, 2011

Calcium Please

I went to the store today and got some very good essentials! I was talking with my doctor and told him that I really have trouble with eating fruit, that I like flavor but not texture and he told me "Drink juice."

So I am! I bought a half gallon of apple juice and a half gallon of berry juice. I also got a half gallon of 2% milk and a half gallon of 1% chocolate milk. I definitely need to up my fluid intake. Summer is such a target for dehydration and especially so since I'm pregnant. I managed to drink lots of milk today too. I am struggling to keep my calcium intake up (considering how much cheese I eat, this is unusual!) But the baby is just sucking it straight out of my teeth... and would suck it straight out of my bones if I let it continue. I need to make sure that I drink more than I think I need.

I'm still not hungry really... I am pretty sure that's normal. I do know one thing though, having a baby is certainly going to make me lose weight when it's all done! I might even end up in Onederland, losing 25 lbs (not uncommon for bigger ladies) That would be awesome :)

I digress

I'm so happy that I have juice and milk again (and water too) and it is great to have a variety of things to drink. I'm going to pay very close attention to my fluid intake and make sure that I meet or exceed guidelines so I can stay healthy.

Brian said something cute today. He said "it's magical that a baby is growing inside of you" it IS magical :)

Are you all tired of baby talk yet? Sorry but this is my life now and that's all I've got going on ... baby making. This is consuming most of my thoughts. I'm trying not to obsess over useless stuff (wipe warmers? Are you serious??) and trying to not take every piece of advice as literal. Brian and I are slowly trying to figure out what we think is the best way to parent a baby and so far, we've agreed on everything. He is totally daddy-material. He WANTS to be involved, with everything. He's admitted he's scared/uninformed, but said that it's very exciting too. I'm so grateful.

I'm out of milk now :( It's my third glass tonight. Time to ease off. I'm peeing every 5 minutes so I must be re-hydrated now :)

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Second (Trimester) Wind

Oh, thank god. Today is the first day in 14 weeks that I was able to actually get out of bed before noon, walk down stairs, walk across the parking lot, get in the car, go to the store, walk around, go to Subway, and then come up stairs and not pass out from lack of oxygen!!

I feel a little tired, but on a scale from 1-10, 1 being normal and 10 being ready/thankful for a coma, I'm a 5, instead of a 10 like I had been.

I feel more like myself again. Albeit with a mini me tagging along.

Today is a great day. As I mentioned, I got some errands done. I went to the store and made a new I.D tag for Max, he had chewed up his other one (it was metal... don't ask me how) It has his name, Brian's number, his AVID pet ID number and the number to call them. He is microchipped, so it's important to put the number for it on his ID tag that way, they don't have to take him to a shelter to find out he's ours. (I still need to pay $20 to have his name updated in their global database, because right now he's only in our county database. So if he got lost and ended up in another county, they wouldn't be able to track him back to us)

I also was feeling a little nauseous and Brian wanted fast food for lunch, so we compromised and got Subway. I got turkey & black forest ham with provolone, spinach and mayo. It was great! I also got a raspberry cheesecake cookie, which I think was just raspberry and white chocolate chips but it was DELICIOUS. Om om om.

I drank 16 fl oz of water today. It's hot out.

I still need to go to the mechanic so they can check my lug nuts, walk the dog, and clean today. It's the first day I've even felt remotely up to doing any sort of house work.

Mom gave me some Happy Jack dog shampoo to help with Max's dandruff and he got a bath last night. He wasn't so thrilled about it at first but was soon loving it! The shampoo reminded me strongly of Worcestershire sauce (both in smell and color) and it made Max shed like crazy! My whole bath tub is covered in dog hair! He's been shedding a lot today too, so I got him a nice brush and have been brushing him all day- which he loves. He's a big baby lol

 Oh I take that back, I'm getting a little sleepy now ... maybe I'll put off the mechanic and I'll just do a load of dishes and take a nap with the dog :) Don't worry, he's still getting walkies, but I'm going to wait until dusk. I like that it's hot out but it makes me feel queasy so I'll be staying in until it cools off.

I need to get away from the computer. I keep checking my email for job updates and it's driving me bonkers.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Happy Days

Today is a really great day. I'm officially 14 weeks pregnant and into the second trimester! woot woot! That's exciting!

I also got some Happy Jack dog shampoo from my mom and am going to give my puppa-dog a little scrubby scrub, see if I can't get rid of his chronic dandruff!

My job leads are giving me lots of positive feedback. I've gotten lots of tests to complete, apps to fill out, prescreens done... so now I am back to the waiting game, waiting for yes/no answers.

I found a company I think I would be a great fit for and heard back from them today, and completed a pre-screen test, so let's hope that they see how awesome I am and hire me!! :)

I don't know about the hours/availability yet, and won't know unless I'm selected to move to the next stage of the hiring process. This was an abilities test but I think I aced it :)

I'm pretty able.

Keep sending me your good thoughts & prayers as they are really helping me out!! :D

What happened to you today that was awesome?

Monday, June 27, 2011

The Miracle of Life

I got a magazine called As Your Baby Grows: From Conception to Birth when I went to the doctor's office. It's really neat. It's mostly pictures, but it also tells you about the changes happening.

And making a baby is truly a miracle! I never understood before exactly how complex it all was.

First, conception: It takes 500 million sperm to make a baby. They are released into the vagina and travel up to the cervix. And then only 10% make it past the first barrier- or about 50 million sperm. Out of those 50 million, only one or two thousand make it to the fallopian tube, but only 100 or 200 make it to the egg. Then, after one breaks into the egg, the membrane around the egg toughens so no other sperm can make it through. Then it sheds its tail (which I did not know about) and burrows in deep.

Then it starts to become a baby blah blah... I knew most of the stuff but not all. For instance, I did not know that until about 16 weeks, both genders have the same external genitalia. A nub and a slit, both boys and girls have. If it's a boy, the nub becomes a penis and the slit fuses together to become the scrotum (which I didn't know) and if it's a girl, the nub becomes the clitoris and the slit becomes the labia. How cool is that? So we aren't developing with both parts until one takes over, like I had been told, but really that our external sexual organs are in fact, the same thing, but just developed a little differently.

So my mind was blown. The ear develops from the inside out- starting with the middle ear/ear drum then eventually becoming ears on the outside of the head.

Amniotic fluid? Baby piss. The baby urinates straight into the amniotic fluid, but doesn't harm the baby. It also swallows it and replaces it every 24 hours. And babies don't poo in the womb either... that's all sent through the umbilical cord (which house the baby's intestines, by the way!)

Then babies become hairy! fine little hairs all over the body. Why? uhmmm no one knows. Then we get coated in a cheesy yellowish wax, which protects the skin from the amniotic fluid (but not until 6 months...which is weird)

So now it doesn't seem so alien/sci fi but really really fascinating. I absolutely love human anatomy and learning how complex and why things happen, or not knowing why they happen but they do is so interesting to me.

I love learning about this kind of thing.

What is one thing that you like to learn about, that seems a little different or strange? For me, it's definitely anatomy.


My dear blog friend J from J's Journey Book (and like, 12 other blogs) is always reminding me, kindly, to get out of the freaking house and get some g-d sunlight!

So that's what I did today. I didn't have a choice, really. They are re-surfacing our parking lot and all of our cars had to be removed to another lot by 7 AM, or we would get towed to another lot for $40. Being the broke lady I am, I remembered to move the cars.

Now our complex is pretty big, it takes about 25-30 minutes to walk from one side of it to the other, longer if you have short, stubby legs and a bad ankle.

I had to go to the bank today, which meant that I had to walk at least 10 minutes to my car. I decided to take Max with us (I made Brian drive, my car doesn't have any gas) so we are walking in the grass up a small little hill and between the construction crew, across the road and into another parking lot. I was so out of breath. We do the bank running around and I contemplate going to the store and getting stuff for spaghetti and meat balls tonight but then decide against hauling the groceries back.

And then we get home and I had another ten minute walk, this time I went a little slower, so it probably was a little longer. There you go, J. Just for you. 20 minute dog walk.

Max loves going "bye-byes" in the car and loves sticking his whole head out the window, he's so silly! He sniffed at the sticky tar in the parking lot but thankfully decided it wasn't appetizing, and left it. I had to watch that he didn't step in any tar either, because there were just random splotches all over the place.

I feel okay but I'm still really tired. I still have 12 minutes of biking to complete today too so let's hope I don't fall asleep at the keybo--- zzzzz

...just kidding! :)

Sunday, June 26, 2011

I Got Baby-Baby Fever!

Okay, since I watched the birth videos, started thinking of baby names, and cry every time I think of the moment where we heard the baby's heart beat for the first time, I'm going to suggest that my baby fever has reached a new high. It's the kind of fever I hope doesn't break!

I've been thinking on and off about my baby shower since I found out I was pregnant, but today I started planning in earnest. I write down every little idea that pops in my head and I started updating the registries we have. We have two. One at Wal-Mart and one at Babies-R-Us/Toys-R-Us (since they are the same company)

I had a checklist printed off for the registries and I went down the list and went to Wal-mart's website, going through each baby category that the website had and checking off things on the check list. Then I went to Babies-R-Us and am doing the same. I have a "must haves" list and there are 4 pages. I have almost 2, but not quite, completed. It's a lot of hard work. But oh so fun.

Next, I started scribbling out ideas. In keeping with tradition, I am not going to host my own baby shower. 1) I lack the physical space required 2) I lack the funds to do so. But that doesn't mean that I can't help out and I have got the best ideas ever.... so I wrote them all down. I'll just type what I wrote, verbatim, so you can see my thinking process! :) Comments/redaction's are in [brackets]

Baby Shower

Date- Oct 15 or 22- want to do on a Saturday so most guests can make it. Also want to do it before bad weather hits. 7 mos preg, so will have time to exchange/return/buy what is needed.
Number of guests- ???? Butt loads. Will have to get names, addresses, phone numbers from Linda [my mother in law] me? want Carissa, Allie, Kayla, mom and gramma there. [my list is so small lol]
Location- ?? [Brian's] Aunt Sheri's???? Or can rent clubhouse. Maybe [apartment complex] clubhouse

{Look for baby shower invite designs- collect these}
{have Brian design/print cardstock }
{can embellish, label and address by hand}
{NEED STAMPS- Registry #'s/online links}

[yep thats how I wrote it out with little squigglies included]

Baby shower cake designs??? google, collect, hoard
maybe ultrasound turned into edible?? 

Zoo theme! 
Girrafe! Monkey! Hippos

Games?? Diaper pin in jar/trivia/???
Snacks!! -> cheese tray (must) [LOL]
-> fruit/veggie tray
-> juices/sodas/water

This is complete with little doodles of cakes and what not all over the page. There's also reminders to talk to my mother in law about things and take her out to lunch, which she has been hinting for me to do since we got married and I havent done yet.... considering she is the closest family to us... it's time to build up that relationship so I can have a baby sitter ;) (kidding... mostly...)

Now I've done as much planning as I can without getting "crazy" and will have to talk to my MIL about the rest and see what she would like to do. I kind of promised her that she could plan it, just because Brian's family is so large (she has 6 siblings I think? who all have kids...etc etc) and because I have no idea how many people are actually going to be there or be involved. I'm really hoping that Aunt Sheri will let us use her lake house (it's the 'get together' spot) and we can go from there. It would be much much cheaper that way.

But I still got another 3 months to get it all planned. I want to be closely involved on a few things, as I really have some suggestions but I won't be heart broken if my suggestions aren't taken.

Anyway, off to read some baby magazines. Hope you all had a great Sunday. Any ideas for showers/games/etc that I should be aware of?


Pregnancy and Fitness: The Game Plan

Okay, I am far luckier than most women who get pregnant. I've only been sick a handful of times (usually it's what I ate that brings it on) and I really only suffer from intense fatigue. Headaches, check. But over all, it's a really easy pregnancy. So why can't I exercise?

Mm... that intense fatigue? Leaves me so tired that most days, I can barely keep my eyes open for a few hours. I heard it gets better in the second trimester, which is coming up soon for me. I made a game plan. And it's a really really good one. Are you ready for it??

Good. Because here it is.

Starting today, Sunday, I am going to ride my exercise bike, Stella for 5 minutes, 2x a day. That gives me 10 minutes. Monday, I'm going 6 minutes, 2 times a day. Each day until Friday I am going to add one minute until I get to ten minutes, twice a day for a total of 20 minutes of Friday. Saturday, will be a rest day.

This adds up to 90 minutes of activity for the week.

Next Sunday will start Week 2 of the plan and it will go like this: 7 minutes x 2, 8 minutes x 2, 9 minutes x 2, 10 minutes x 2, and 11 minutes x 2, with Saturday being another rest day. This also equals out to 90 minutes of activity for the week.

Gradually I am going to up it, repeating a week or two depending on how I feel, whether or not it's too hard, or upping it if it seems too easy. And "easy does it" is sort of the corner stone of pregnancy-fitness. I'm also going to take up a prenatal yoga dvd that I got off of Netflix, and once the weather stays hot, I am going to go swimming too, even if its just floating around a little and working on my tan.

But I am not going to do more than 90 minutes of biking a week. I think even that will help me get ready for labor and I might end up losing a few pounds too (not that I am trying... but I haven't gained weight in 13 weeks, and I am not really following a calorie-based meal plan, so it might happen.)

I'm also going to record how many miles I've done (my bike keeps a running tab, no matter how long its been since the last ride) and how I felt before, how I feel after, and whether or not my mood has improved.

But right now, I need to go take a nap. I have to work on applications and stuff all night, rework my resume and do custom cover letters so I need a little shut eye. Keep sending good thoughts my way... I really need a job! :)

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Brian's Special Day

Today is Brian's birthday! Hurray! He's an "old" 26 now, or so he tells me, anyway! Today was a great day for birthday celebrations!

We started off by getting paid for a commission, then using that money to celebrate! We went to Game Stop and he bought Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker for the Gamecube. Then we went to King Gyros downtown. I actually had a chicken gyro (minus the raw onion and tomato) we split an order of onion rings and a Dr Pepper. Brian had a 1/4 lb cheeseburger with grilled onion and pickles.

Then we came home and got ready to go to a reception. I put on that great dress I bought not too long ago. I did my nails in a funky manicure.  The tips were teal and the base was purple, to match the dress. Also went with teal/purple eyeshadow, fake lashes, and liquid mascara. Stick straight hair, which turned out to be really nice. Brian went in a red dress shirt and black pinstripe suit pants. He looked hot :)

 Our friend got married today and invited us out to the reception and he had commissioned Brian for a drawing, which we printed off and framed for them, He's going to pay us for it tomorrow, since we thought it would be tacky of him to open a wedding gift card and hand us cash out of it!

There was an open bar and a buffet! But, we stuck to chocolate milk (what? haha) and the buffet was amazing! They had lots of fruits and veggies, cheeses and crackers, shredded chicken and pork for BBQ sandwiches, roasted chicken, baked macaroni and cheese, BBQ baked beans. This reception hall was HUGE and fully staffed, and there were probably 150-200 people there, easily. And we only knew the groom!

I got crab macaroni salad, macaroni & cheese, two pieces of roasted chicken (so so good), a few slices of cheese and crackers, and some strawberries. I. was. STUFFED.

We came home and relaxed a little and now I want cake and am depressed that we did not get cake, either at the reception or for his birthday, so I sent him out to buy his own cake and ice cream. This may seem a little heartless, but Brian is the type who doesn't have favorite cake. Forcing him to pick his own means that he really has to think about what kind of cake he wants, and therefore he will choose a good one. The ice cream will probably be straight up vanilla. He loves vanilla. He said it's a very simple, classic, clean flavor. But he might also turn up with some rocky road. I was half right... He picked vanilla bean and chocolate.. like a Neapolitan but with out the strawberry. Also he got an Oreo cookies and creme cake...I gotta .... uh... go... I'll see you guys later.

Birth: Not So Sci-Fi Anymore

Ok... I admit that being pregnant to me, felt like more of a sci-fi movie than anything else. Here is this little parasite inside you, growing bigger and bigger with each passing second, with an insatiable desire to f$%k your stuff up and make you act like someone else. Suddenly you have more acne than you did when you were a teenager, you're starting to look like a Sasquatch, you're decided whether or not you should puke now or later, your hormones are so far off the chart that you are crying inexplicably and you take everything personally.

 Then you start wondering if you can have this or that, and you do some research and find out that if you take this or that, your baby's going to come out with a club foot or a hair lip or 10000000 other deformities, so you suffer through it all for the sake of the baby, and you are still unsure if you are going to wake up tomorrow and have your period. Some days you pray that you will, other days you feel like a monster for even thinking that.

Then you start looking at pictures of what your baby looks like as it's developing and once again, it seems so science fiction, instead of science fact. Your baby looks like a seahorse but it's only the size of a sesame seed. Then it grows eye spots, where eventually eyeballs and eye sockets will form; followed by arm/leg buds which will hopefully grow to be functioning limbs. Then, about week 8, your child starts developing things that seem a little out of the ordinary... things you would think would be kind of the last items on the list... fingernails. Uhhh... weird!

And the most sci-fi thing of all has got to be birth. It's such an alien concept to me (har har) I had watched a documentary on Netflix called BABIES and they show a woman giving birth and it freaked me out... I had not wanted to give birth at all....

But last night, cruising around on, I came across videos of live births. And different birthing methods. Intrigued- because now, birth is inevitable and starting to be wanted- I decided to watch them. I watched a natural birth, a c-section, the birth of twins, an induced birth. While they were very much nude, and there were vajayjays on full display... it wasn't graphic, really. There was some blood sure, but not this torrent I was expecting. And each woman was different. They were all in pain... but none of them were cursing, screaming, threatening to kill every one in the room like the movies make it out to be. Brian even watched them with me and he said "That doesn't look so bad."

The weirdest one to me was a water birth... the woman used hypno-baby techniques to stay calm and then gave birth under water... yep, seriously.

So we decided on a birth plan- no "Little Mermaid" water birth for me!

I'm going to go the all-natural, drug free way... unless for some reason the pain is so bad that I need something to take the edge off (Plan B). But I'm not keen on an epidural, because I've heard that it takes longer for the sensation to return to your body after delivery/complications can arise (use of forceps/c-section). Naturally, the pain disappears right after birth and from my mom and other women I've read about, it's like really really bad potty cramps... Like you really have to poop and you really have to go NOW. So I think I can handle that.

Plan C- Let's hope plan C doesn't happen, because that would be a C-section and would require 6 weeks of recovery from surgery. I'm not sure I'd have that kind of time off from my job (assuming, positively, that I am going to get a job!)

Anyway, lots of baby planning happening in our household and I am finally getting pumped for baby. I think it all started with that heart beat... I can't stop thinking about it. It makes me cry-smile every time. Aww.

So, moms, tell me your birth story! But please remember... too many horrible details will probably freak me out... so be kind in your editing! :) (as in, I looked up if Tylenol was safe and it said it could cause club foot, so I started researching that... then I freaked out... so please be kind!)

Friday, June 24, 2011

Baby Names! The List

Since my dear friend Trisha keeps asking for the baby name list, I thought I would share what I have written down. Not all of these names have been "approved" by Brian... but it's my blog so I'll post them anyway! These are all names I like, and would like to give our child.

I can only hope that we will have more than one child because I like all of these names! I've also posted good nicknames (or cutesy ones) that I think would go well with each name... We will see what Mr. Farrar thinks. He's sort of opinionated when it comes to baby names. Which is shocking, since he's normally so laid back. I actually had a list of names I could not use, under any circumstances, please and thank you. I've subsequently lost it. *shrug*

*~Baby Girl Names~*

Miranda Kelly Farrar (Miry, Mimi)
Sabriel Nicole Farrar (Bri, Ellie)
Colette Elizabeth? (Cookie <-- LOL)
Brooke* Lee Farrar
Danielle Raine Farrar (Danni/Ellie)
Sarah* Lynn Farrar
Natalie* Ann Farrar? (Nat/Allie)

My favorite name of all time has to be Natalie. I met a Natalie when I was in elementary school and she had long blonde hair, big blue eyes, and the cutest glasses I had ever seen. I thought she was great. We used to play together but she moved away. I don't remember her last name, so I can't stalk look her up on Facebook.

Brian LOVES the name Colette. I know why but I can't tell you... (it's part of a super secret project he's been working on for ages and I'd really rather not accidentally let people steal his ideas...) 

@% Baby Boy Names %@

Corben Dallas Farrar (Cory/Ben)
Jesse Lee Farrar
Mark Edward Farrar
Jacob* Samuel Farrar (Jake)
Lucas* Evan Farrar (Luke)
Nolan Reed Farrar

Names with a * after are those on the top 100 baby names list of 2010 and will probably get rejected... unfortunately!! I want our child to have a name that isn't so original that they get made fun of (school is hard enough as it is!) but not so common that they get shuffled into the background. There were only 2 or 3 Christie's in my school and we all spelled our names differently. But Brian... well there are 2,309,475,394,572,034 of him... so I want to go middle ground.

Another stipulation for choosing a baby name... It has to be a good name, that sounds nice when you say it outloud... but it also has to scare the shit out of your kid! I mean, I love my full name... but when I was in trouble I hated being called Christie Lee!! So... it has to be both beautiful and terrifying... I can't name my kid something that won't roll off the tongue when I discovered they had put the cat in the washing machine and turned it on! I can't stumble in a crucial moment like that!

So what am I leaning towards?? Hmmm....

I love the name Jake and Luke... those have always been my favorite boy names, but I think Brian put them both on the "NO EFFING WAY" list... so I'm going to have to say Nolan is my favorite, followed by Corben, for the boys. I love Danielle and Natalie for the girls...

Hmm... So if you want to check out any more baby name ideas or whatever.. and see what popular names were around whenever, check out because they have tons of great articles and craziness.

Pregnancy: A New Symptom!

I've experienced headaches for the last three days. At first, I thought it was caffeine withdrawal. So I loaded up on soda. Nada. Then I thought it might be a congestion/sinus headache. But I'm in the clear there too.

Finally... I Googled "pregnancy and headaches" and lo and behold! That's what my problem is. I'm pregnant. F#$k!! Just kidding. I already know I'm expecting.

Any way.... the advice is to eat small, regular meals (something I've not been doing). Sitting in a dark, quiet room (something I've not been doing) and applying cold/heat compresses to the head/base of neck whichever works better. I'm not even going to take Tylenol anymore. It doesn't help really. It sort of pushes back the pain, kind of like scooping back sand.... it's only a matter of time before it all comes flooding back.

My mom thinks it's sugar withdrawal (which it's most likely low blood sugar, since I'm not eating regularly) and so she still gets credit for it...

Right now, I've got a light lunch in the oven and I am going to eat that, chug my Mt Dew, and then go lay down and listen to an audio book with a cold compress on my head and a heating pad on my neck. I'll switch every 15 minutes.

So that's the game plan. I still think I am having a relatively easy pregnancy, although I did get nauseous last night from the headache/migraine... but that's nothing new. I always get sick with migraines. Luckily I don't get chronic migraines.

Things that don't help migraines:

*Max playing with his squeaky ball. This sucks. Especially when you are sound sensitive.
*Not eating. It makes nausea set in faster (at least for me)
*Staring at computer screens. This sucks. Especially when you are light sensitive.

So aside from all this crap, I do have some good news! I got to stage 2 of an interviewing process! I submitted an application for a position as a bank teller yesterday, I got an email today saying I had been selected for a pre-screen interview, so I did that. I made the guy on the phone laugh (I'm a charmer, what can I say?) and he passed my information to the hiring manager. Now I have a couple weeks to hear back. I'll know within 30 days either way of their decision. So that's exciting! I got another email for another job opportunity but they are no longer hiring for the rest of the school year, but I am welcome to apply again next school year.

It's nice to get SOME feedback. And a potential job! I mean, I was told job requirements, salary, and training schedules, so I am pretty confident about this. Every one shake your money tree for me, kiss your rosary's (only if they are blessed by a real Irish priest who stank of gin)  and send your good thoughts and/or prayers my way. I really need the good mojo.

See you all later. My lunch is done and I need to scarf it down.

Thursday, June 23, 2011


Every once in a while, I take stock of my life around me and look at the big picture. I try to do this a lot, but it seems like the little things always drag me down.

Instead of being Negative Nancy and complaining that

1) Money is super tight
2) I can't seem to get a job anywhere
3) Baby is coming in December OMG what are we gonna do????

I've decided to be Positive Polly and remember...

1) Brian is getting a lot of commissions for his art work (which is great!)
2) Brian's got plenty of opportunities coming in, including a potential teaching job for Art!! (big blessing!)
3) The baby is coming in December!!

This week for example, Brian went to hang out with a group of friends (this was Monday night, when I had my sob fest). This particular group of friends is trying to start up a small game development company. The guy who is in charge has both the means and the dedication to get this thing going. He has plans for small games or apps for the iPhone/Android market place, an idea for a "big" game something that would go indie on XBOX Live.

He has gathered a bunch of people from programming to writing, to publishing, to graphic artist. Brian is the graphic artist/modeler for these games. The head guy, Zach, is just crazy about Brian's art and abilities. He commissioned a picture to be done for him and his fiance this week. They are getting married Saturday. He's paying Brian's standard fee, plus a printing fee, plus a bonus for it being such short notice.

They are starting work on an app game (can't say much about it, it's a secret!) in July and want to get it finished by August 1. Zach is going to start paying everyone who is working on the game, as well as giving them a cut if/when it sells. So I'll be beseeching you all to purchase this game! Brian's pretty stoked about it. Zach really has done his homework and has laid everything out. He's definitely a go-getter.

Big, potential opportunity #2!

We were at the car shop getting my car looked at the other day and started chatting to a lady who was waiting on hers. I saw that she was a teacher for the local school district and we started talking about what she does. She is an event coordinator for the arts! How cool is that? She sets up all the events for all the various arts (band/choir, art shows, etc) for the calendar year. She is also in charge of hiring people to come in to the school and teach "ensemble art classes" to children who have signed up.

They do everything from pottery, puppetry, drawing, painting etc and so forth. She asked to see Brian's card, and asked him if he would be interested. Naturally, he asked if it was volunteer work or not. She said that some volunteer but others they pay. And the pay rate is pretty exciting! It's a 1 hour class, once a week, for 9 to 18 weeks. And it pays $22 an hour. So he could make over $200 just teaching little kids how to draw! How cool is that?? She said she might not be able to get him in for this school year, but maybe next summer and she will definitely keep in touch.

While I can lament that no one will hire me, I cannot be too sullen because I am being awarded other opportunities. Seeing Brian's art really take off that has made me so happy. It's every artist's dream that someone will say "I'd buy that!" and now we are getting lots of those offers and nibbles from bigger fish.

I don't know that Brian would want to teach art always, but he would definitely enjoy the opportunity.

So yes, I am blessed.

What are you thankful for?

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Leave Me a Message... Or Not!

Somehow... my voicemail box has gone MIA.

I mean, literally.

I can't leave a message from any phone, I can't check my voicemail from any phone... It's gone. Poof! I know you are supposed to call your own number and then wait for voice mail to pick up, then you can hit whatever your carrier decides the magic button is to put in your pass code... but mine is gone! It's not even an option! It just rings and rings, for like 2 minutes straight... then I get an automated message "The person you are dialing has not answered. Good bye!" ...And then it hangs up!

Blink blink... okay...

So I have to call AT&T or go in and get it sorted. I'd rather go in but I didn't feel very good today so I stayed in bed all day. I would rather not call them because of the customer service I've received in the past being... not... good.

But I kind of need voice mail. I mean, I really don't like talking on the phone so answering every incoming call has been a pain.

I'm also hoping to hear back from a few places I applied so I keep hoping each call is for that but it's always something else...

I did get a bit of a scare today. The nurse called me from the dr's office and I immediately thought something had turned up in my blood work/culture samples. I'm a bit paranoid when it comes to that sort of thing... but all she wanted to know was if I needed more prenatal vitamins. I'm all stocked up for now, so I declined. Whew.

Scary. Like they would even process that stuff under 24 hours, geesh!

I gotta get my voice mail fixed!

....Don't call me. Unless it's important. 

When Your Heart Beats Next To Mine

Today I went to the doctor. I was nervous at first, thinking I would be chided for waiting 12.5 weeks until I saw a doctor, but no one was finger wagging. In fact, I got told that I am the "perfect pregnant patient" because I've had so few symptoms of pregnancy (nausea, etc) and that if I had not confirmed it with a trip to the clinic, I'd probably not ever know I was pregnant.

The doctor is this really nice, older gentleman who has a really thick accent. It's kind of hard to understand him at first but he has a great sense of humor once you can figure out what he is saying.

So they did the usual, blood work, urine test, pap smear etc and what not and said that so far, everything was okay. Waiting for results on the pap/blood work but they said they weren't too worried about anything coming up.

I was told that I wasn't getting an ultrasound today, so not to get my hopes up. I wasn't really expecting one, I thought they might have a look since I was so far along, but if they weren't worried, I wasn't worried.

It turns out I got a huge surprise! We got to listen to the baby's heart beat for the first time!

At first the doctor had trouble locating the baby's heart beat with the wand, and I thought I might be "too fat" to hear it but he said since it's so small at this stage generally they have to search for it. I heard it before Brian did. It sounds like a regular heart beat, but much much faster. 165 beats per minute. Brian was grinning really big when he heard it, then his grin disappeared a few seconds later. I thought he might be bored of it already, or irritated we couldn't see an ultrasound, turns out he was just concentrating and thinking of baby things lol

I asked the doctor about whether or not I should gain weight, if it was okay if I didn't gain any weight and just maintained through pregnancy. I told him I was trying to lose weight before but we got pregnant so I'm not trying to anymore. I'm okay with gaining weight if it's necessary, but was unsure of what to expect. He told me that even though I was over weight not to worry about health issues for the baby because I'm a pretty healthy over weight person. If I gained, it would probably be no more than 10 lbs, unless I eat a lot for the hell of it. He also told me that most overweight women he sees don't gain weight, if at all, and that they still deliver perfectly healthy 8-10 pound babies. He said the ones who struggle the most are the "pet-it" (petite) women since they don't have a lot to help them along. They also tend to have more problems since their bodies aren't used to carrying extra weight.

So that's a relief.

It also means... no baby bump for a while for me! Hurray! I won't have to buy maternity clothes! :)

When we were getting ready to go the doctor asked Brian if he had any questions, and Brian said no. He told us that we were both quiet (uh, BOTH of us??) and we didn't ask a lot of questions. I said "he's always quiet. I'm the talker. But I did my research, so I'm pretty up to speed on things." And then I was told again, that I was the perfect pregnant woman! :)

Let's hope it stays that way!

Listening to the heartbeat really brought it all home. It has finally sunk in. It's felt like a mix between a fairy tale and disbelief. I keep waking up every day half expecting to start my period still. But since hearing the little guy's (or girl's) heart beat, it really hit home. WE ARE HAVING A BABY!!! 

The blood work was... interesting. The nurse/technician had some trouble finding my vein in my arm, so she did some wiggling and twisting and turning but finally hit pay dirt. I clenched my teeth and kept my arm as still as possible. It didn't hurt, really, it was just unnerving. I looked away and tapped my fingers on my other hand. She said while I had a good vein it was tricky because it moved a little. I told her that I was okay and not to worry about me :) 4 little vials of blood later, I've got a nifty little hole in my arm and tender-soon to be bruising. Hurray! I was also told that I was a great patient because I didn't tense up, and I didn't flinch, and I stayed calm. Lol so for the record... I'm calm, quiet, and collected to these doctors.... Not how I usually am at all! Loud, hyper, and hyperventilating is more accurate! I wonder what their other patients are like!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Emotional Eater

I see this term tossed around quite a bit on blogs that people are "emotional eaters". This is a silly statement to me... of course we are emotional eaters! We are taught to celebrate with food. It's just something in our society! You're having a baby/graduated school/retiring/switching careers/watching the Superbowl? Here have this cake/cookies/chips and dip.

Uhm that's just our society. We eat when we are happy. We eat when we are bored. We eat all the time.


That's not my problem with food. Being an emotional eater did not make me gain 60 lbs in a year.

I still eat the same shit I have always ate. I was really thin growing up. I was thin until about my senior year of high school when I got up to 195. I lost 20 lbs going to college living at home. When I moved in with my boyfriend... I forgot what a portion size was. We were eating out all the time. Moving to the city meant there were more restaurants in far easier reach than my little town. Being around men who easily ate three to four times what I normally would eat led to skewed portions.

But the biggest problem I have? I love food too much. You know how they say that if you eat the cheeseburger and it's really good, and you want another the second one will not be as good? The third even worse? Well for me that doesn't happen. I don't get to the point where food does not taste good. I get to the point where my body cannot physically hold any more food.

I'm sort of missing that mechanism.

I'm fat because I eat like a man.

I'm fat because I do not do any physical activity anymore. I don't even walk the dog.

I'm probably somewhere between "skewed portions" and "binge eating." I don't go on benders but I don't exactly deny myself anything I am craving.

I eat the same stuff I ate growing up, but I eat more of it.

There was a blogger who I followed for a while, but I can't follow her anymore. She talked about the trouble she had with binge eating in the past. She described the foods too realistically; the taste, the texture, the sensation. And whatever she wrote about struggling with.... I craved.

It wasn't conducive to weight loss. It still isn't something I can deal with.

I decided that while I am not really trying to be the perfect picture of health I can at least re-learn my portion sizes.

Another reason I know that I am not an emotional eater is today... was another day where I was inexplicably sad/depressed. I spent a while writing out my feelings and then I started crying. And I couldn't stop for over an hour. Never once did I think "I really want some _____ food right now". I wanted to be hugged and told everything was okay. But Brian was at work so all I got was a dog nosing my face until my shuddering sobs turned into hysterical laughter. And then I felt better.

I didn't go to the fridge and look for something to shove down my gullet. I looked for water, because I was surprised at the amount of fluid I lost through tears/snot.

I feel great now. My episode of insane behavior passed. I wrote down everything that was bothering me and a few things I had never even thought of, or would have never thought of if I wasn't being all emo, and will not think of again since it's passed... It contained all of my fears, my worries, my selfish thoughts, my anger... then it was put through the paper shredder.

Brian joked that he was going to go through the shreddings to piece it all together. I gave him that "don't you f&*king dare" look

I put it in to two categories. Things I can control, and things I can't. (Thanks, safire!) and it helped me prioritize. I found out a lot of it was things I couldn't control but some of it was. And some of the things I could control started with small things. Like I feel like I'm a horrible housewife (I am. I don't do dishes/laundry/cleaning) so I can start by doing a load of laundry. Or cleaning the counter. Or picking up as I go. Rinsing out my glass when I change beverages instead of getting a new glass.

Then I felt better. I told myself that I would be FINE ("everything's FINE!") and then suddenly.. it was.

So there.

I didn't eat anything that whole time.
I felt my feelings like I usually do
I felt like an ass
I was an ass
But at least, I wasn't a fat ass. God I want a shake. :)

Monday, June 20, 2011


I may get to puppy sit for one of our neighbors. They have a yorkie that barks all the time if they are gone, so I thought I'd be nice and offer to watch the dog while they are out of the house all day. Max loves other dogs, and I know that this puppy is very lonely/bored. Plus I kind of hinted that if he didn't do something about the dog, people were going to end up complaining to the office and he would get in trouble... (people complaining... being me... the dog barks for 6 hours straight. EVERY DAY!) But I don't mind watching another dog, since I already have one :)

It's like kids, once you have one, what's another... or another...?

And that brings me to our next train of thought....

Brian only wants 1 child. I do not only want one child. I either wanted none or 2. Since I have at least 1 now on the way, we are going to have to have 2. I explained this because I am an only child, and I am very spoiled, socially awkward, and extremely possessive. He agreed that these would be bad traits for our child to pick up, so we are able to have another.

The only question is... how long do we wait?

Brian's not really close to his older brother. They are 5 years apart. He's closer to his younger brother, and they are a little over 3 years apart.

Brian was thinking 2 years. Which means.... I'd have to get knocked up again March 2013.
That seems... awfully soon.

Haha. We don't even have a kid yet and we are already planning for kid #2... How funny.

Today has been really productive. I've applied to several places again and I called and followed up on some places I had already applied (the positions were filled, but new openings are in a few weeks) so I hope that I get something soon. I'm sure I will. I'm all Positive Polly instead of being Negative Nancy, which is really so much more fun!

Working outside the home is going to be so much fun! I was kind of worried about child care when the baby comes, but I am sure that I can either finagle my schedule so one of us is always home with the baby while the other is working... or... I could have Brian's mom watch the baby. Which would be a blessing for her in a few ways. I think that she is depressed, but the news of a baby has really perked her up.

This child is going to be so f%^king spoiled. You have no idea.... it's the first grandchild for both of our families.... one of those families had a spoiled daughter... so you know that the baby's going to get way more stuff than I ever did! Haha but it's okay, better than me buying it all!

Now I have to do some laundry because being a house wife is fun! <-- See? Positive Polly.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Dog Brushing

Oh so because Karma is a cruel mistress and I am her bitch, I have a dog who gets hairballs. Like a cat. Yes. Exactly like a cat.

Max is a short haired black lab/border collie mix. Me, being stupid?, I guess thought he didn't need brushing since he really didn't have a lot of hair.

His belly and inside of his legs are pretty sparse with fur so I just kind of assumed that he didn't need a lot of maintenance. It turns out, however, that he does have longer hair on his hindquarters. It's thick, dense, and has an undercoat (Border collie hair) and the rest of him is smooth, silky and incredibly shiny (black lab hair)

It took us a few times of hairballing to figure out just *what* Max was bringing up for display. He would randomly get sick, but the vet said that it was no big deal, and he was healthy... so I wasn't too worried.

Brian finally noticed that it was mostly hair and stomach fluid the other day, and so... it begins.

I took a fine toothed comb (a rat tail comb) and went over all his fur. He loved it. I pulled out 3 huge clumps from his hindquarters, each as big as my clenched fist.

I think this will also help his persistent dry skin... he has dandruff! but his coat is really shiny and the vet said he was okay... so maybe he just needs another bath soon.. hmm... how am I going to wrangle him into the bathroom?

Brushing out all the dead fur was kind of a chore, but now that I got it done we've been doing it daily, especially on his legs, to make sure the build up doesn't happen again.

As Brian was cleaning up the regurgitation, he was saying how gross it was. I told him this is our life and in 6 months, we will have another spitting up, pooing thing to look after :D

We also have to vacuum lots! He sheds an awful lot for a short hair dog! I'm going to shave him!

I gave him some petroleum jelly too (vaseline) as it helps things move along. He loves it.

So that's my life this week.

Also- been looking at patterns on line for things to make and I think I'll be making a dog bandana. Don't laugh. Lol easy first project! Also my mom is going to let me "borrow" her dressmaker's dummy so I can use that. Hopefully it will fit my measurements... or if not, pretty closely.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Feeling So Much Better

Thank you sweet bloggy friends for all your sweet comments. I really don't like to complain too much on my blog any more because I feel like no one wants to read that, but it was so nice to let out all of my feelings, to describe how I was feeling, to show both myself and others that, yeah, it was a pregnancy-related hormone-induced bad day.

Today was a great day. I had little sleep, riddled with nightmares. I dreamed of things that I know I won't ever have to deal with again, and I tried to rationalize it in my sleep. I finally woke Brian up and told him all my nightmares, and they went away. My mom told me that trick, ages ago. She said that she always woke up my dad. But before Brian, I always told my stuffed Eeyore that I slept with. Inanimate objects worked well too.

Today had some slight running around. I picked up a package of odds and ends fabric to practice my stitching on. I do alright but whenever I cut the thread to release the fabric from the machine, reinsert it (to try a different stitch type) I always have to rethread the needle. I'm not sure if I am just not leaving a long enough tail for the thread or what.

I didn't bother looking it up, but felt like I had practiced enough today. The machine works. It even has a little light on it. I am getting more and more confident with it as I constantly re-thread this stupid needle. I need new shears though. Mine are so dull they barely cut through fabric.

Brian thinks I'll like sewing more than crocheting. He said it's easier to create something. Which I think is true. I'm rather impatient.

I'm having fun trying to figure all this stuff out on my own. I tried googling the brand name and getting the manual but had not been able to find one online... It seems standard enough though, so I'm sure I'll figure it out. It's a nice intellectual exercise.

Brian's birthday is next week and he wanted a fully functional phone (the one he got from my parents', the speaker was blown.) $45 on eBay and we redeemed our debit card reward points for $40 .... so $5 on his birthday! Score!! They said that it would be shipped to us by June 24th but we got it today! Hurray!!

I guess FedEx ran out of tracking numbers??? So they started re-using them... or something. It's weird. We tried to track the package and it said that it went from Boston, MA, to Minneapolis, MN and was delivered on April 1,2011... weird.

I've got a special announcement that I can't quite announce yet, but stay tuned as I think you will really like this!! I know I do! but you'll have to be patient!!

A (Bad) Pregnancy Day

Today was one of those "overly hormonal, what the hell is wrong with me?" sort of days.

I have them occasionally. I used to get them a few days before I started my period. Today I felt so overwhelmed about ... well absolutely everything, to be honest.

I felt so hopeless, stupid, worthless, ugly, selfish, shameful, and a thousand other negative feelings.

I know that it was pregnancy related because I felt detached, looking at my sobbing self, and kept thinking "What the hell is going on?"

I know it was pregnancy related because I was openly sobbing... over a video game.

Over a damn game.

That I didn't "win" or "lose"... it's not one of those games. It's a roleplaying/simulation game and those don't have "game overs" really.

..................but still....... regardless of what type of game it was, I still had a breakdown about it. I still cried. I still had snot running down my face and a crinkled up forehead....

But it made Brian laugh really hard when I told him.

I was so deep in self pity and loathing I didn't laugh at all. Usually if someone makes fun of me while I'm crying I start laughing too, but today was not one of those days.

I just cried, and cried. I couldn't stop the tears. I didn't want them to stop.

It took me about an hour to calm down. Way longer than usual.

I felt all my feelings. My eyes are tired.

I feel better. Still feeling a little blah. But sleep will make it better.

I know I'll have days like this. And I know what they are. It still sucks though. Like some whiny preteen prima donna got a hold of my body and did the classic "throw yourself on the bed and sob uncontrollably" bit for like... an hour....while I was locked in a room, banging on the door going "HELLO?!"

Also... I'm majorly blocked up and in so much pain. :(

Tomorrow is another day.


Thanks. I'm done whining now.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

A Rewarding Goal

Hubby and I ran into a friend at the grocery store. This friend is originally from Bosnia but has become a US Citizen. He told us today that he is going to apply to be a police officer. He said that he originally wanted to join the US Military but was not a legal citizen at the time, so he couldn't. Now he's too old. Ha! Anyway, he said the process will take him about 2 years but he's really looking forward to it.

We wished him luck and hope that he gets it.

We were talking about how it's nice to have goals, on our way home. I was joking, and told Brian that "it's nice to have goals, I almost remember what that is like!" He laughed and told me that he knows I have goals, but they are put on hold. I said "yeah now that I am going to be a mother, it seems like everything is getting shoved aside."

He said the funniest thing...

"Being a mother is a great goal. And probably the most rewarding!"


Isn't that funny?

Like suddenly because I'm a mother I have to put all my goals aside. Sure I'll never be a supermodel or anything... but I mean, seriously. I'm not restricted to do nothing meaningful with my life that is not related to children hehe... I'm still going to do something!

Isn't he cute!

But no, I'm not upset with him... I just thought it was funny and had to share, bloggy friends. :)

Tell me what your rewarding goals are

Wednesday, June 15, 2011


Today I had a sandwich and a chocolate chunk cookie from Subway. I got a double-turkey, provolone, and southwest sauce on wheat bread.

Then I had a coffee mug of chocolate-peanut butter puffs. Think "Reese's Puffs" but store brand. Better than name brand <-- Coming from a Reese's addict, that means something.

I'm still feeling lackluster today but that could do with the weather... More rain and it's even raining in Animal Crossing on the Wii... I guess that's what you get for playing a game in real time! :(

Max has not left my side today. I wonder if he is worried about me? If he senses ...something? Because he is normally "Brian's dog"... I say it like that because he obviously likes Brian best, but it's okay. I'm not jealous. Especially now that I am getting lots of puppy love. His big, brown eyes follow my every movement. He pads around after me, making sure I don't fall in a black hole or something. I don't know, but it's insanely cute. I'm trying not to squeal and talk all high pitched baby talk to him, but failing miserably.

I was worried that I had started to gain weight, since I have not weighed myself in 3-4 days. Normally I weigh once a day, the second I get up, after I pee. I hadn't been lately and was thinking... hmm better remember to do that tomorrow, so I know where I am. Turns out... I couldn't wait until tomorrow so I did it after Subway, the cookie, and a tall glass of ice cold apple juice (I was full!) and I weigh 222.0 on the dot. So I probably weigh a little less, like 221.4 or something like that.

Still not gaining weight. A relief... Being obese and a mom-to-be really has me worried about my weight now more than ever. I'm not restricting myself anything (obviously if I am eating cookies!) and I am not "trying" to lose weight. I am just trying to maintain, or gain slowly... that way it's not a shock to my system/unborn child.

I got the nicest compliment the other day. Someone asked how far along I was, and I said 3 months. They told me "You don't look like you've gained a single pound!" I just smiled really wide and said thank you. I was beaming all day :)

Remember how tired I have been complaining I am recently? I slept from 9 pm to 1 am, then from 4 am to 1 pm... And still could sleep! Baby making is hard hard work lol ... or I'm just incredibly lazy. A little of column A, a little of column B (I'm in the mood to help you, dude! You ain't never had a friend like me!) I'm sure J will get that reference :)

Alright I'm off. Gotta catch some more zzz's

Tuesday, June 14, 2011


I did a lot of errands today, driving all around town and even going to visit my family. I dropped some things off in a few places, went to pick up some things from my family, including a baby blanket and a small, battery powered sewing machine.

Actually the sewing machine is probably only 75% of the size of a regular one, not quite a hand stitcher, but not a full size either.

It works great, I just got to figure out how to sew now.

I have no idea.


Another task for another day, because I am officially worn out. I have mis-spelled every single word so far and had to go back and fix it! I'm off to bed.

Night all. Yes it is only 9:40 pm... why do you ask?

Monday, June 13, 2011

Are You Going To Wake Up Today?

I've been dreadfully tired. Dreadfully.

I can't keep my eyes open. I know this is in large part to being pregnant, but still... I feel like I am going to get bed sores I've been sleeping/laying around so much. I have ZERO energy.

Twenty steps from the door to the apartment building to my apartment. And I have to PAUSE halfway and catch my breath for a few seconds. TWENTY steps. 2-0.

I know I should be working out. I know I should at least go for a walk with the dog. Believe me... I want to. I just am not able to. I get tired walking around the apartment and need to take a rest when I take the dog out to go potty. I know I'm in a bad way! But I can't seem to do anything about it.

I feel really run down. I know that this tired-pregnancy-crap will pass. They say the second trimester is when your energy picks up again, and for me that is in three short weeks. :) Let's hope so.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Party Time!

A friend of ours graduated college and he had a huge party last night.

There was lots of alcohol, but there were also a few people who weren't drinking. Me, Brian, and another pregnant lady there. Hahah.. Anyway, despite being the only sober ones, it was a really great party.

There were so many people to talk to. Except... they are all tall. Like 6ft at least. I am 5ft4. So by the end of the night, my neck was killing me! I had it craned all night just so I could make eye contact with people. My feet also hurt, particularly my left ankle. I didn't sit down at all, mainly because there was seating, but if I sat down I would have been out of the party, sitting in a corner... by myself.

Luckily though, I have no plans today other than playing Animal Crossing: City Folk for the Wii and keeping my leg elevated with lots of ice.

Despite not imbibing any alcohol, I still got sick! These darned prenatal pills are killing me. If I take them with food (rare, since I'm hardly hungry) I get nauseous. If I take them without food, well I make a new porcelain friend. I'm just going to up my protein intake, and focus on eating more chicken and tuna to get my recommended iron intake.

I couldn't sleep at all last night, between my neck pain and ankle pain. I had to take Tylenol and put ice on both neck and foot to even get comfortable. I think I finally fell asleep at 6 am.

I'm glad we left when we did though (about 12:30 am)  because I guess the cops got called out due to noise? So thankful I was home by then. I don't want to have to deal with that.

And yes, Brian's stalker bitch? She was there. But that's okay. She mainly kept her distance, only annoying me periodically about my cravings. "No weird cravings yet? Are you sure you're pregnant?" I smiled and said, "No cravings. Easiest pregnancy ever!" I got asked three or four times, like she couldn't believe that I was not craving sweets or anything. But what she doesn't know is I crave salt! Probably why I stood at the bowl of Chex Mix all night chowing down on it! Our secret, internet... our secret.

I'm glad we went out, but damn... so glad that doesn't happen every weekend! I don't think I can handle it :)

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Monster Truck Rally

My dad conned my husband into a monster truck rally today.

I say "conned" but he went of his own free will...

I say "conned" because it turned out to be a shitty little display of big trucks not doing a whole hell of a lot. Now, I might be a little weird... but I love it when monster trucks squish cars beneath them. I love demolition derbies. I especially hate cars, so that is why it's weird. I don't care if that's a Mazda, or a Mercedes, or an Audi. I am not impressed with shiny cars.

I'm thrilled when they all meet their end violently! :)

But I couldn't go. Which is okay, because from the sound of it, it sucked big time. Even my dad was saying how it was a shitty little thing and that he was "ready to get the hell out of there." <- Direct quote.

My husband isn't much for cars or ...manly things in general.... being an artist and all. But I love that he is trying to embrace that side and connect with my dad. I know that he didn't have much in the way of manly experience previously. My dad taught him how to change the oil (seriously), change an alternator (just last week!) and they are going to events together. Just the two of them. Bliss. This summer they also have made plans to go fishing. Thank god because I sure as heck don't want to go.

It's like my dad got the son he never had when I got married. And with a grandson on the way... well hopefully he will do all the same :)

PS: I'd like to amend that Brian knows how to change the brakes on a car, and that he is really good at fixing stuff around the house. He's very handy.

I'm off to watch more Criss Angel on Netflix.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Storms and Blood

This morning there were some very loud thunderstorms going on. I wouldn't have noticed, except I woke up covered in blood. Apparently I got a nosebleed? I didn't know this until I rubbed my nose, felt all wet, and then looked at my hand. I was covered in blood.


I get cleaned up and then go back to sleep. Except I can't. Max is in his crate and he keeps jumping up every time it thunders. It's thundering every 30 seconds. He doesn't have any blanket or anything in his crate because he keeps destroying it, so it's irritating to hear him clattering around.

I let him out, thinking he will calm down if he is allowed to sleep on the bed with us. No. I was WRONG.

He keeps jumping up every time it thundered. It is thundering every 30 seconds. Brian and I take turns holding him, petting his head, telling him what a good boy, what a brave boy he is... nada.

Finally, my tired mind thinks oh PEANUT BUTTER. If I give him some peanut butter in his kong, then he won't care about the storm. I fill his kong with peanut butter. He's all happy, dancing around. I put it down. He's licking slurp slurp slurp! It's still booming out side... he doesn't care!


Except I can't sleep now. His grotesque slurps are driving me insane.

Brian can't sleep either. If I don't sleep, he doesn't sleep. He's weird like that.

Brian puts his crate in the living room, puts the dog and his sticky, slobbery Kong in there too. Finally. Peace and quiet.

It's 6:30 Am.

Blessed sleep, come back to me...


Except the construction trucks start up, and start backing up.

I just turn on my laptop, blast an audio book, and black out. I can't stand monotonous sounds.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

100 Followers- 100 Thank Yous

Well I finally hit 100 followers on my blog! thank you thank you thank you!

I've been blogging for years, longer than I have been married, and almost as long as I have been with Brian.

I want to say a big thanks to my regular readers! also a big thank you to the ones who followed for the giveaway, but were kind enough not to unfollow after it was over.

I don't mind if you have even hidden me from your blog feed. :)

Most of the time when I blog I feel like I am talking to myself. Not because I don't get comments or anything, that's not what I mean at all. I mean, my blog is my place to ramble about whatever is going on in my head or life and that sometimes, people occasionally read about. I think blogging is a great tool and a little vain at times. After all, its the only place on the internet that is truly all about M-e-e-e-e-e!

I'm grateful that 100 of you think I am worth reading, for whatever purpose. If you are reading because I'm funny, or stupid, or a train-wreck in the making, or if I might really be on to something, or if you are just waiting for me to flip my lid and set something on fire... I don't know. Maybe you're waiting for me to 'get my act together' or maybe you read because it distracts you for a few minutes from whatever you need distracted from. Are those brownies? Take them away.

Anyway, my point was (before I got distracted by the possibility of some one making brownies) that I really do appreciate the blog sphere here and I have made some great (virtual) friends. People who are kind and caring, even though they have never met me. That is seriously cool. Friends that I have never met, but know through pictures and events, like I was there. Friends who are in different stages of life yet we can relate to so much more than just weight loss.

I never expected anyone to read my blog, besides my mom and my grandma. Brian doesn't even read my blog (occasionally, but not always) so having 97 others who can at least feign interest is something beyond what I expected.

Thanks, Friends

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Heat Advisory

There's a heat advisory today.

Heat Advisory - Extreme heat index making it feel hot, typically between 105 and 110 °F (41 and 43 °C) for up to 3 hours during the day and at or above 80 °F (27 °C) at night for two consecutive nights. Specific criteria varies over different county warning areas.

And straight from WANE.COM - Heat index in the range of 97-102. It also warns against those with medical conditions (also includes pregnancy) to be outside for prolonged periods of time. 

Yesterday I was at the zoo for 2 hours, outside. Today, I'm not even risking taking the dog for a walk. 30 minutes outside and I would probably pass out.

I'm pretty much a wimp when it comes to the heat now. Who am I kidding, I'm pretty much a wimp when it comes to everything now. Being pregnant has greatly reduced my tolerance to a lot of things, such as eating, being awake for longer than 4 hours straight, and stairs. 

I was planning on going to the store today to get some nice lotion with a hint of self-tanner in it. Kayla's wedding is coming up after all, and I want to have a little color to my skin. I'm not allowed to go tanning or be out in the sun all day. :( But I can be out some, and I know I'll get tanned from wearing my sexy 1 piece swimsuit pool side, but I'd like to even out the color, so I won't have tanlines. Shoulder strap tanlines on a strapless dress = tacky.

Not like I am the picture perfect example of what it is to be un-tacky. Tackless? Tacknically challenged? That makes me giggle.

Today I am simply going to have to be content to convert m4b files into mp3 files by manipulating iTunes and listening to my favorite audio books. I am quite disappointed that it takes SO long to do, but also excited because I have never done anything like this before and the experience has been extremely rewarding so far. All it takes is a little patience and a lot of blank cd's... then a lot of importing under a different codec... blah blah blah...

It's a nice little exercise to stretch my technical skills. I haven't used them much since I graduated college in 2008 and certainly not since I got married. Brian is more technically advanced than I am and it's so much easier to just let him figure something out for me. But I am proud to say, I not only found the solution myself, but I impressed him with how easy it was actually to do. Once upon a time, I was actually really good with computers, and also art. Those skills seem to have fallen on the back burner but now that I have ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD I think they are coming up again.

Reading has once again lit my imagination on fire and has stimulated several artworks in my brain, simple sketches doodled on lined notebook paper showing how much I am thinking of them. I'm nowhere near the artist I once was and nowhere near where Brian is, but that doesn't mean that I can't get back there. I am so excited to start drawing again, to layer sketches over one another, to add color to flesh out shapes and form ideas. I feel like.. my old self again. It's weird. Whether any of these will get finished is a mystery, but it's nice to have works started.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Happiness :)

Random collection of happy thoughts, go!
With slightly under a month until Kayla's wedding, I decided I needed to try on my bridesmaid's dress again. I bought it large on purpose- not knowing I was going to be pregnant, I just thought I might not lose weight.

I'm almost 3 months pregnant now, so I will be about.. 4 months pregnant for the wedding. Brian keeps asking "when will you start to show?" I have no idea...

But I tried on the dress. It fits me perfectly around my breastises. It was a little big there before, but I guess that's great since my boobies have doubled in size... Okay, not really, but they are 4" bigger.

The tummy/waist area? Still got a little bit of wiggle room. It was not tight before and it's not tight now, in fact I weigh exactly 4 lbs less than when I went to try it on. So that's good. If my waist does start to increase, I'll be alright.

I put on a pair of support hose and tried it on again and had LOTS of room, so that made me really happy.

I was really worried this dress wasn't going to fit. I don't have money for alterations/its too close to the wedding for them anyway... but I am relieved that it's still a great fit.

Now I just have to make sure I don't eat a boat load of crap between now and then and gain a bunch of weight.


Today we went to the zoo. I freaking love the zoo. We looked at everything, walking around in the 95 degree heat for 2 hours. Sippin' on lots of water. It was nice.

My favorite part of the zoo is the petting zoo. Ha! Probably because you actually get to touch the animals! I bought a couple handfuls of corn and fed the geese. They are so bold they will come up and eat it out of your hand. Now if you know anything about me, you know I love geese/ducks. They make me laugh. I don't know why. So I had two handfuls of corn and was surrounded by geese eating out of the palm of my hands. It was heaven! If you've never done it, they don't hurt. It feels like someone sort of pinching you, except it's not painful at all. Like when you grab your fat rolls, with your finger and thumb. That's how it feels, it's odd. Brian had never fed one so I made him do it too.

Then we went to see the goats! I love goats. So funny looking. These goats are all fat and lazy, being fed by screaming children all day long. You can pet them too. I laughed as they followed us around.

The exhibits are always nice. In the last few months, the zoo has had a few animal births, which is always really cool. Seeing baby gibbons and baby vultures, both of them quite rare, is a treat.

I also got a video of me chasing a very colorful bird. Ha!

Also, they are hiring! Hurray! So I think I'll be applying, thanks! (<--- what a weird ass kid, wanting to work at the zoo)


Highlights! I did them! I bought an at home kit. I love the at home kits. They give you a shower cap with holes in it, and a stick, and tell you to poke your own head a few hundred times, slather some foul smelling concoction on your head, and then wait an hour before you wash it off.
Brian poked the holes in my head, like a good husband. I didn't cry or wince, like a good wife. I did the rest though. Slathering, washing, etc.

It looks really nice. It's my summer look!


Sunshine! I've been getting lots of it, if you can believe it! I am seriously enjoying summer. It's time to get a new swimsuit. My other one was way too big and I gave it away. I am not sure if I am going to need a bigger one this year? Or the same? I might just buy one to fit me now, then another to fit me later. Our complex pool isn't open yet (something about new Indiana laws?) so I have a few days.

I actually got a little sunburnt while 'supervising' my dad and Brian fix his car. My shoulder is a little red, and my neck feels a little dried out. Today, I walked around in shorts, a t shirt, and flip flops, so I got a little sun today too. It was great.

There you have it, random things that made me happy lately. What's made you happy?

Remember, it takes more energy to be sad than it does to be glad! :)

ABC's Of Food

Saw this one going around, and I love questionnaires so it was only a matter of time...

{A} Apple - What is your favorite? 


{B} Bread - Regardless of calories or nutrition, what would you like to have a big slice of? 

Good old fashioned white bread. Specifically, Sunbeam. Mmm.

{C} Cereal - What is your favorite? 

Reese's Puffs.

{D} Doughnut - I'm sure your not eating them now, but what kind is your favorite? 

Bavarian cream long john.

{E} Eggs - How do you like yours prepared? 

Scrambled, with cheese and ketchup

{F} Fat Free - What is your favorite product? 

Cool-Whip or cottage cheese.

{G} Groceries - Where do you purchase your at? 


{H} Hot Beverages - What is your favorite? 

Coffee with chocolate cream, sugar, and milk.

{I} Ice Cream - What is your favorite? 

Moosetracks- vanilla ice cream with big, thick ribbons of rich fudge, and miniature peanut butter cups

{J} Jam or Jelly - Do you eat them, and if so what kinds? 

Grape, raspberry, and strawberry. No seeds please

{K} Kashi - Do you purchase their products, if so which ones? 

Uh no. Not going to buy a 4 ounce box of cereal for $3 when I can buy 2-16 ounce boxes of anything else for the same price.

{L} Lunch - What was yours today? 

An extremely over priced cheeseburger at the zoo.

{M} Microwave - What is your favorite microwaved meal or snack? 

Pancakes or sausage-biscuit sandwiches

{N} Nutrients - Do you like carbohydrates, fats, or proteins the most?

Carbs. I love my meat though

{O} Oil - What kind do you use?

Olive oil when I remember.

{P} Protein - How do you get yours?

To quote Leeloo from the Fifth Element.. "Chick-ahn. Good!"

{Q} Quaker - How do you like your oats? 

Thanks but no thanks

{R} Roasting - What is your favorite food to roast?

Beef. Haha

{S} Sandwich - What is your favorite? 

From Subway- Turkey with melted provolone cheese on honey-wheat bread, with southwest sauce and mayo. I used to get pepperoni on it, but now I get spinach and green bell pepper. Oh yeah!

{T} Travel - How do you handle eating while traveling? 

I freak out and eat everything in sight.

{U} Unique - What is your strangest food combination? 

Anything slathered in cheese sauce

{V} Vitamins - What kind do you take? 

Prenatal! Iron fortified....

{W} Water - How much do you drink a day?

I don't really count that any more, but I should probably drink more than I am.

{X} X-Ray - If we did a tummy x-ray what foods would we see? 

Gnarly, mashed up foods... oh alright, 2 lunchables - turkey, cheese, and crackers with bite size Butterfingers.

{Y} Youth - What food reminds you of your youth? 

Chili. Spaghetti. Lasagna. Cube steak. Meat loaf. My mom was a great cook and we didn't eat out much.

{Z} Zucchini - How do you prepare it?

I'm sorry, I do not understand the question. No habla zucchini.


I bought a new shirt tonight. Normally I wear an XL in the "Misses" section and it fits- not tight across the chest, tummy, or arms. Long enough to cover the tummy. I like being an XL, but I feel way more comfortable in a 1X.

I like the length of the 1X, it's designed to have more fabric covering the tummy area. And that is one area I am not overly excited about on my body.

I learned a while ago that honestly, it doesn't matter if the shirt is a L or a 1X its how you feel in it. There are more and more cute cuts of clothing for bigger women (probably because as a nation, we're pretty obese) but besides that, its more important how you feel about yourself. I choose brighter colors and patterns now, and go for shirts that are more flattering to my shape. I also wanted a shirt that would fit me for a while, since my burgeoning tummy is just going to get bigger.

Sure, I could be depressed that a 1X fits me better, and therefore is probably closer to my true size... OR I can just be happy I found a cute shirt that I feel comfortable wearing in public, without feeling like a fat slob.

My mom told me a long time ago that confidence is the best accessory a woman can wear. No matter what you are wearing, a little confidence goes a long way. I learned that it's so much more effort to be depressed and negative about body appearance than it is just to be happy.

It's really not that hard, either. I could look in the mirror and say "Jesus, you fat ass. You have been trying to lose weight for over two years, and you've only managed to drop 20 lbs you piece of shit." And then get depressed, hate myself, and go eat half a pizza...


I can look in the mirror, in my new lilac purple shirt with a pretty design on it and see the whole picture. I can say "wow your hair looks really good at this length, and your glasses compliment your blue eyes. I often forget just how pretty my eyes are. This shirt is slimming, since it isn't clinging to me."

I still might eat half a pizza. I love pizza. :)

Anyone struggling with "size" issues with clothing I have one suggestion.... Cut the f*&king tags out. Seriously. Buy the clothes that *honestly* truly fit you. Find the ones that flatter *your figure* and then buy it, and cut out the damn tag. The number there is made up anyway, so why let it ruin your day.

This has been a Public Service Announcement from He Took My Last Name

Monday, June 6, 2011

My First Appointment

I finally got an appointment to see a doctor. It will be approximately 2 more weeks before I can get in and that will bring me to about... 3 months/12 weeks and nearly out of my first trimester.

I'm a little apprehensive, because I have not been able to get in to a doctor yet, but I have been taking my vitamins every day, I've been trying to not over do anything, and I have kept my weight steady. In 10 weeks, I am up 2.5 lbs, which I think is excellent.

All of the reading I have done suggests that obese women who are pregnant only need to gain 15-20 lbs MAX during their pregnancy, while a woman with a normal BMI is to gain at least 35 lbs.

I would really only like to gain 10 lbs, since I am so short, and so fat, therefore I have a high BMI. The more weight I gain, the harder it is going to be on me and the baby physically.

I still don't "feel" pregnant. I get nauseous a little or I will be RAVENOUS, eat three or four bites, and then feel "FULL" even though I know I am not. My breast tenderness has subsided and they are only slightly bigger than they were before.

If it weren't for the sudden onslaught of acne, I would honestly not know I was pregnant (sans missing period, and the 40K pregnancy tests I took). I have acne all over, in weird places. Like my stomach. WTF? Hormones at work. My hair seems fuller and thicker, which is so so nice!

I called my Granny yesterday to tell her we were reasonably certain we were going to have a boy and the first thing out of her mouth was "Bless your heart! My prayers were answered!"

She cracks me up. She is very old fashioned- she wants boys to carry on the family name, and I don't blame her. Previously, before Brian took my last name, it was just my dad, my mom and me. And I am a girl, so a bit of a disappointment there. I'm still her favorite grandchild though. It's probably because I live so far away, so it's always a special time when we visit.

I told her I didn't think we would be able to come and visit her this year and she said "you shouldn't be traveling in your condition!" and ordered me to bed rest. She's priceless.

She also asked me if I was going to deliver "normally" or have that "Cesar procedure" (C-section) I said I had no idea but if at all possible would like to go the normal route.

She also told me to not over do anything but to get the baby's room painted as soon as we can as it will be easier on me now versus later. Lol

That's all the news I have in baby land today.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Baby Prediction Results

I took the test this morning and it was a boy result. We were actually expecting it to be a boy, since Brian's side of the family has had all boys for the last three generations hehe :)

I am so happy. I would have been happy with a girl too, and remember it's 90% accurate, so there is still some room for error, and I won't know for sure until the baby is born, but we have settled on a boy name and a girl name so we are prepared either way.

The test itself is really simple to do. You pee in a cup, then use a syringe and pull 20 ML out and insert it into the cap of the test container, swirl rapidly/gently to mix and leave it to simmer for 5 minutes. It's some sort of chemical reaction in there. I suspect, that if there is testosterone then it reacts with the little particles in the test container, turning your sample from yellow to green. If there isn't any present, then you can assume it's a girl, as it remains relatively unchanged.

I spent a lot of time analyzing this sample, a little more than one probably should, but at first, I couldn't really tell. Then I thought about it- it turned slightly greenish-yellow, and I knew we had a boy. If there was no testosterone it would have stayed yellow or orange but it had a tinge of green to it. So I called in my local color expert, Brian, and he immediately said "Green" when he looked at it. I didn't tell him what color meant what, so he didn't bias it.

It was green, and therefore we are reasonably certain that we are having a boy.

Little Corben Dallas! And yeah, mom, you can call him Cory or Ben for short. I like Cory. If you want to be all hip and cool, I guess you can even just call him Dallas. :)

90% of me is excited to have a boy... I want a boy... but 10% of me is sad it's not a girl. Maybe. There is still room for error. Who knows! :)

Also the chemical reaction of whatever is in the test + the urine... smells awful. It smells like urine mixed with a hint of burning metal. The test also becomes hot, so I assume that's another reason they tell you to leave it alone.

I can't wait to paint the nursery! I just had a great idea for how I wanted it to look. We really want to go with a zoo animal theme, and Brian is going to paint a mural on the walls for our child. I can see it in my head and I know that he would love to do it, so I am going to see if he thinks it's possible.

One great thing about being married to an artist, it means I can bring all the visions in my head to life without getting frustrated that my hand won't do what my head wants! Now I can make his hand do what my head wants! :)

Saturday, June 4, 2011

On Stranger Tides

Brian and I are going out to see Pirates: On Stranger Tides

I am not feeling the greatest. I have heartburn and I feel like crap. I just want to cry. But! We are going because he wants to go and I want to go too.

I did my hair and makeup and dressed up I look really nice. I did it for 2 reasons 1) to feel better about myself and 2) you never know who you are going to run into.

It seems like every time we go to the movies, no matter what movie/what day/what time it is, we run into Brian's stalker bitch.

So that is why I look nice. If I looked like I felt, I just know we would run into her, and she would be all like "you look like shit" to me... and I'd have to be all "yeah I've been not feeling great since I am carrying my husband's child... something you'll never do!"

She really gets under my skin. We've been married 2 years, together for 4 and she still is all up in our shit. It's very aggravating. She actually told Brian, AFTER we got engaged, that she wished she had kissed him the last time she saw him ...which was only a few months before. We were dating then. What a bitch.

Obvs I don't have to worry about Brian running off in the sunset with her (leaving me pregnant and alone) but still... bitch needs to learn to STEP OFF.

I hope I don't run into her tonight. I'm at like, zero tolerance with her.

I'm sure we wont. But just in case, I made sure I looked HOOOOOT.

Baby Prediction Test!

Tomorrow is the day! First thing in the morning, I will urinate in a cup, swirl it around, and let it simmer... and then after it's done, I will know (90% accurately) whether we are having a boy or a girl! so come on, tell me what you all think?



Invalid test result?

An ultrasound will confirm or deny the gender in another 6-10 weeks, so it will be a fun little game.

What team are you on? Team Corben or Team Sabriel?

I got two creme donuts and a microphone

Today! My dad came over to help Brian remove his alternator, and what a production that was. The piece of crap thing did not want to come out, and they finally managed to remove it... which just means the new one? is going to suck going back in.

I decided that I was going to get soda before my dad came over. We are Mountain Dew drinkers (I know the worst one!) and I thought it would be nice of us to have some cold soda for my dad. I got a 12 pack of regular and a 12 pack of diet. They drink diet at home, but I know my dad hates it. My husband hates it too, so they can share the 12 pack of regular. The diet is all for me.

I also got donuts- Boston Creme donuts. Chocolate iced, vanilla pudding filled donuts. Pure heaven. Boston Creme is Brian's favorite cake/pie/dessert so he loves these too. 6 for $3, and there are only 2 left. I had 2, he had 2.

It's retarded hot out today, which is good, I am so tired of rain. However, I get so tired so quickly and being out in the heat doesn't help any. I shouldn't complain, because my dad (who's in his early 50s) is helping my husband on his stupid car in this weather, the two of them sweating more than a prostitute in church (lol I love that expression) and I am sitting in the nice A/C apartment.

Thanks to my lovely friend, Belle, my dog rope burn is looking loads better. She recommended baby oil/vaseline for some skin protection, and it's helped a lot. My skin feels less tight, and it's also less tender now, which is amazing. Before if you looked at it wrong, I would cry out in pain, now I can slather vaseline on it and doesn't hurt at all. It also soaks it up too, it's weird. I swear I just put some on ten minutes ago... now it's dry again!

I'm wearing a pair of shorts and a tank top. I know that I don't have a bitchin' bod, but I am confident enough in myself to wear shorts this year. I'm tired of suffering through the summer because "no one wants to see that". This year, I don't give a damn. First off, I am not the type to wear uber short shorts and belly tops, so every thing is covered. Secondly, I may be pale and chunky, but I look a lot better than I did 2 years ago. I'm over being self conscious about silly things like that. No one is going to say anything so I don't worry.

It's nice not caring. You all should try it some time. Find some flattering summer clothes (dresses, skirts, tops, shorts) and just GO FOR IT. Don't suffer because of some weird mentality. Also, I need a new bathing suit. Yes I am going one piece again this year, but that doesn't mean there aren't attractive options. There are.

Being pregnant in the summer is going to be miserable (hell its miserable no matter what time of year it is) but I can't wait to go swimming, and walk the dog, get some sun. Staying active will certainly help me during labor and delivery, and I want to be in the best shape I can be in, given the circumstances.... that's why I ate 2 donuts today? LOL

What I should say is... it doesn't matter that I ate 2 donuts today. It's better than the 6 I would have ate 2 years ago, sans bun in the oven, and I am still more active now than I was then.

What I think I am trying to say is I am finally comfortable with who I am now. Sure there will always be thoughts of "well if I lost weight" or "if I was skinnier" but that takes too much effort and just depresses me. When I look in the mirror, I don't see "fat Christie" I see "pretty Christie, full of confidence, ready to take on the world, and cant wait until my baby bump shows"

Life is so much simpler when you stop worrying about where you should be how you should look and just do your best. It makes me feel like a winner every day.

I'll admit, my biggest fear with pregnancy is that I will balloon up to 240 again and I don't want to get there. I  am worried about that a lot, but at the same time, I don't think I need to gain that much weight, since I am already overweight to begin with, it's best to just go slow. If I hit 240 I hit 240 and that will be that. I am going to try hard not to, but I can't predict the future.

This got very rambling, Hmm. It happens.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Just How Old Are You?

So I don't know who's toes I stepped on this week, but apparently, every one feels the need to respond super childishly.

The day that I had sold my iPhone on eBay I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. I don't answer those. I don't answer unless it's family, anyway, even if I know you. So I let it ring. A few minutes later, I get a voicemail. So I listen to it, and it starts off like it would be from somebody I know.

"Hey Christie, sorry I haven't hit you back girl..." but it kept going on and on. It was obviously a prank call, as the person knew my name, but things mentioned in the voicemail were very sporadic, and a little lewd. He had mentioned several times he wouldn't let me suck his c**k unless I was a stripper. Or something to that effect. He sounded drunk and/or high, and like a thug. Someone I don't know.

I laughed, said "what the hell?" and played it over again. I deleted it. Whatever.
Now I know people are apt to make prank phone calls, and that it's usually to get under the skin of the person who they are calling... but it sort of loses that effect when you have to leave a voice mail instead of talking to the person directly. After all... I didn't get angry, call them a douche bag, or get all flustered.... because I got a message. I deleted it and had a good laugh. I'm sure it was someone I had known who originally had the idea but then made their friend do it. But it was a Michigan number, and I don't know anyone in Michigan.

Then yesterday, as we were leaving to do some errands, Crazy German Neighbor was driving in the complex. She saw us in our car and stuck out her tongue and put her finger down her throat, in a very obvious "you-make-me-want-to-gag" sort of way.

Brian and I just looked at each other and laughed, said what the hell, and went about our day.  We never did anything to this lady at all, except move across the building complex because she was harassing us on a daily basis.

My point being: why do people feel they need to act out like they are 5 years old? What satisfaction are you gaining from prank phone calls, or sticking your tongue out? Why go out of your way to let someone know you dislike them? It takes so much more energy to act that way, when in reality, all it does is make you look like a fool.

I have a theory, and it's a good one... they obviously have way too much time on their hands. Not that I am the busiest person either, but I think I spend my down time a little differently.

To me it's one of those moments where you look at life and all you can think is "wow, that's kind of messed up" and then you just go about your day. I don't understand the logic, but then again, you can't argue with crazy, so it's best to just let it slide. It is funny however, that it happened twice in the same week. So I can't help but wonder... who sh*t in their corn flakes? Maybe it was me. I don't know how I would manage to do that, not seeing anyone outside of my apartment/family, but you never know. I may have deeply offended someone with my absence.