Thursday, September 30, 2010

Weight Watchers- Week 1 Day 1

I joined WW online as part of my birthday gift (thanks mom!) and I have to say, I am completely relieved. It is so nice to feel like I am in control. It's so much easier to count points than calories.

I downloaded the app (naturally) and I have been playing around with the website. Its a lot to take in. The interface is hard to get used to, but the more I mess with it the more sense it makes. I've even started looking up lower-point versions of my favorite meals.

My healthy weight range for my height is 117-146. I can hardly believe I'd ever weigh 146 let alone 117. Goals to think about. Right now I'd like to get to 175- the weight I was when I met and started dating my husband. Then we will see if I can persevere through to 146.

I get 30 points daily and of course the 35 weekly. I've already got a special use in mind for those this week- Saturday I am going to the fair and I want to enjoy a steak gyro at least. And split an elephant ear.

I used all of my points yesterday and I was still hungry, so I drank some more water and it kept it at bay. I've already had 5.5 pts so far today, and am getting rumbly in my tummy again. I tried oatmeal today, and while I love the taste, I am not very good with the texture.

I'm very excited about being on WW the last time I was on it, I had lost 15 lbs and I wasnt even trying. This was years ago, when I was a lot thinner, barely overweight. Wednesdays will be my weigh-in, as my local meeting meets on Wednesday nights, so I figure I might as well be consistant

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I Took the Plunge (and the water's cold)

That's right kiddos. I signed up for Weight Watchers Online today. I am going to join the meetings too, once I get paid. I got some bday cash from my lovely mamma and I was going to save it. But then I decided to tell her something I had been thinking on for a while.

It started about a month ago. I was faltering. Wondering how am I going to lose 50+ lbs on my own? How was I going to make the change? Counting calories was tedious and I wasn't seeing the results I wanted. I had been thinking about joining Weight Watchers again. I had gone with my mom before, back when I was relatively in shape and I liked it. I started thinking of how easy it was to track back then.

Then I was chatting online with my gramma and she mentioned she was looking into it. I thought about it some more and I decided that yes, I would join WW eventually.

Today's ep of BL really got me thinking. If these people can lose weight on the ranch, they've got bob and jill to help them. I have no one certified in my life to help me, save a dr and thats just silly. So I thought, well why not? Try it.

I used my bday money to sign up online for 3 months, free registration. I get 30 daily points. I will join the meetings later. I've got so many feelings running through my head right now. I am nervous and awkward feeling. Its strange. I also feel happy, excited, exhilarated that I may have found what works for me.

I can't help but feel pangs of disappointment that I have been on this journey for a year and a half and am only down 7.5 lbs. Fluctuating from 10-20 lbs is not fun.

I am ready to take charge and control. I have been reading all my website stuff, too. I think I can do it. I love how easy it all is. And of course, it has an iPhone app!

My first goal is 5% weight loss which is 11.5 lbs. I can't WAIT to get out of the 220s-30s and finally get on track

Happy Birthday to me! :)

Stockpiling (and Biggest Loser thoughts)

I love October. For a few reasons, but mainly because it's my birth month (Holla!) and also because I love fall. Not a big fan of Halloween anymore, but I still enjoy the spiced cider and what not.

I especially love *this* October because my husband rakes in an extra paycheck and that means that mine does not go to bills! Normally this would cause a celebration and I would spend the whole thing on going out to eat several times, buying video games, clothes, etc etc, and not saving a dime.

November though, starts up my husband's student loans again. Which puts a little more financial strain on us. I've decided to be a good girl and save my check. With one exception.

As I mentioned before (I'll have to find the link later) I went through our finances and one month, I noticed between grocery shopping and eating out we spent $500. Holy crap. I know that number, but since then I haven't really been doing any better to keep it down. I haven't even logged in to my financial software since then. Even though I get weekly updates.

So because I love to cook and I obviously love to shop, and I love food this equals bad on the extra money. I decided that I would purge my house of everything unhealthy and then go to the store, stock up on basics (like whole wheat pasta, chicken, canned goods etc) and frozen veggies, and just buy as much of it as I can. Everything else, I will buy as I need it. I plan on making my own chicken stock and freezing it for later use. I am going to make everything else that I can from scratch.

My store has a lot of great deals weekly and I am excited. I also want to try and incorporate more fruits and veggies into my diet. I am just going to add them to meals I already like and then progress from there. I've been looking up new recipes for foods I like and trying to figure out what veggies I would be comfy with stuffing in there. I have decided to try more mushrooms. I like them thinly sliced or diced and I think that will be good. Of course there is my beloved spinach as well. Mmm. Maybe I will stock up on some V8 too and pour that in ice cube trays and freeze it, and use as needed.

Hopefully spending a chunk of change now to get myself stocked up will prevent me from running to the store every other day and spending $20+ for food. We will see.

Now, as for Biggest Loser- WOW arent Bob and Jillian even meaner this season? I guess "determined" is a better word. But it is BRUTAL! 4 hours a day working out. Holy shit. I can't even manage to make myself do 30 minutes!

Brutal. It's just brutal. Its a very interesting season. And yes, once again, I cried like a ninny. I don't think they should have kicked off who they did. But eh, thats life. One guy lost a whopping 41 lbs in 2 weeks! Granted he was 480 lbs.... but still!!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Weigh in Day!

It's Tuesday. I am fearing weigh in today. It's my monthly time and I have been devouring everything in sight, of course, right after I was all excited that I wasn't emotional eating. Ha. Then I just ate and ate and ate. Because I could. And I did.

In the course of the last three days I have consumed:

4 slices of meat lovers hand tossed from Pizza hut
A whole pot of chicken noodles (made with whole wheat pasta)
who knows how many ounces of soda. probably a gallon. (half diet/half regular)
8 chocolate chip cookies
40 pizza rolls
cheeseburgers (3)
regular order of cheese fries
sour cream and chives baked potato (with butter)

Note that this was not all in one sitting, but it was all I ate over three days. There is not one healthy item there. Except the whole wheat pasta. But that was drowned in cream of chicken soup.
And I did not log any food. Ha. Sad.

I would not be surprised if I gained everything back and then some. I would be very surprised if I did not gain much or anything.

I did not exercise. It's time to get this weigh in over with. As well as taking my measurements.

I have exercised a lot more in this past 2 weeks than I was previously. I biked outside for 3 hours total and did C25K twice on Stella and once running.
Its time to rein in my uncontrolled eating and make myself get back on plan. I really wonder on my motivation sometimes. I do so good for two weeks or so then I eat and eat and play video games.
I need to figure out something else, to get me back on track. What can I do instead? Slim fast? Weight Watchers? Clean my cupboards out and replace them with healthier alternatives and proceed to cut up my debit card and make hubby SWEAR on his life not to buy me anything else? Especially cheese fries?!

Anyway, you've been warned, here we gooooo:

Weight: 230 (!!) Gain 4 lbs
Bust: 43 +1"
Waist 39 +2"
Abs 43 +2"
Hips 50 +1"
R Thigh 26 -1"
R calf 17.5 same
L Thigh 28 +1"
L calf 17.5 same
R arm 13.5   -.5"
L arm 13.5 -1.5"

Well. It is as bad as I thought it would be. Totals: 4 lbs gained, 7" gained, and 3" lost.
I have no excuses.

Time to pick myself up and dust myself off. And try again. Today was much better, I actually ate correct portion sizes and measured my food again. I have been drinking lots of water as well. Saturday is the fair and I am going to be eating lots of calories again. I know I will, because I want to. And its a once a year thing, so I will enjoy it. However, I need to be good all this week so I can help minimize any more potential damage.
I want to have my elephant ear and eat it too.

I'm making the second bedroom we have into an exercise room. I plan on getting another TV and a dvd player, as well as some more hand weights sometime. I will be on the lookout for anything neat like that. Maybe start looking on Craigslist, see if I can get anything cheap haha :)

One of these days, I am going to get this weight loss thing figured out.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Small Steps

I have been doing really well on my tracking and eating wise lately, but not today :) Went to visit the family today and we got pizza. As you know pizza is one of my trigger foods. I love it. Honestly, who doesn't enjoy pizza? But I was proud of myself- instead of gorging on a whole pizza, I had two slices. And I was full. However, I was still left with cravings and 9 hours later I am sitting here, stuffed. I just had a cheeseburger and cheese fries. I went way over my calorie budget. Im not even sure by how much, I haven't finished logging my food consumed.

I realize that I will not be 100% on plan every day and I do think that every now and again you should indulge, after all, you only live once. I am proud that I did not go on my usual bender of pizza, soda, and Reeses cups but I do have to admit that I feel yucky. As satisfying as it all was, it doesn't feel good being this full.

I also know that I am not feeling 100% anyway, I am running on very little sleep from in between short naps I can get in between shifts. Oh I dream of the day I get a full 8 hours and no cats to ruin it :(

Another long day today, in which I will grab sparse moments of sleep before I am able to finally collapse out of exhaustion and snooze the night away, come hell or high water.

My eating will be on plan today and I will work on getting my water in. I love water when its cold- so cold it hurts your teeth lol and I suck down a lot of it.

I am disgruntled (can one even be gruntled?) that I am struggling with my weight loss losing the same 10 lbs gaining it back rinse and repeat because it feels like I am getting nowhere- essentially I am just maintaining. I'm really good at it. I wish I were better at losing though.

I dont understand. Weeks of being on plan, eating far less than I used to, adding in exercise and the scale doesn't budge? What am I doing wrong? Or am I just being impatient? Is one day of eating casually really killing my efforts?

I hid the scale again. I am going to work on a few things this week and here we go!

-Couch to 5k- On stella. Since I am a namby pamby and can't run worth a hoot, Stella will be my fwiend :)
Do this at least 3x this week. Kudos for more.

-Drink an extra 8 oz of water. I think I am not quite peeing enough as it is. I'd like to go every 7 minutes instead of every 15 if that's possible. lol (when I drink a few things of water, I find myself going to the bathroom 4x an hour instead of once every few hours. Is it weird I logged that?)

 -Weigh and measure on Tues. It will be 2 weeks from my 30 days and 2 weeks until my birthday. A good middle point.

-Saturday will be walking around the fair in the hometown and enjoying delicious, nutritionally devoid foods. It is a day off plan, and there for I will work extra hard in the week so I can enjoy myself guilt free. It is a mini-goal. While you shouldn't reward yourself with food, I know, its also a once-a-year fair I go to. So it is a special occasion and will be treated as such. I will wear my pedometer so you can see just how much extra I walk that day. I average a pathetic 500 a day now. It will be like 5000 on Saturday.

-Eat more apples. My honey crisps are officially in full swing of the season and I am going to enjoy lots. They went down in price too. huzzah! Carmel apples enjoyed on Saturday do not count :)

-Cancel my Curves membership. Its costing me money and I am not going. Screw it. you think they would just cancel it for me, since I havent been in months, but noooo they are happy just to keep taking your money lol. I realise this is the same no matter what gym you go to. :( I am just not a gym rat.

-In other news, we are going to be giving our cats up for adoption. I like them, but I am not going to continue to put up with sleepless nights, constant yowling, litter box-missing, carpet destroying creatures. Not when I am paying $50+ a month and we are going to start desperately needing the money. Declawing said little terrorists is not an option, as that also costs money and I still have to pay to replace the carpet.
 Pet rent is ridiculous- $30 extra a month. We could really use that. Combined with the monthly payment from Curves that gives us an extra $65 a month we could at least save if we didn't have to use it.

Thank you so much for your support on whether or not to open an Etsy account and either your honest interest or at least a feigned one in my crochet projects :) You guys are great! I have some experience selling online with eBay and (part of eBay) so I am not too worried. Its just a matter now of making things to sell :)

I'll see you all again on Tuesday, I need to take a break from blogging and have some fun in real life lol

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Renewed Purpose

so after a small bout of feeling sorry for myself I do feel better about myself. I decided to just go about life like usual and work on small things I enjoy. I did more coloring today for the comics but progress is slow.

We interrupt our regularly scheduled blog to bring you this bit of news: there was a BEE in my house. WTF?! I don't like bees! It was somehow in my kitchen. I don't know how it got in and hubby is worried we have a hive around haha

Back to our blog: I have a very busy weekend ahead of me. I am working like crazy this weekend, and hubby has to go into work on Sunday (yay overtime!!)

I decided that I am going to start making some crocheted items to sell on Etsy or Artfire. Which do you guys prefer to buy/sell from?

I'm thinking of doing some wraps or doilies. I also have a book on how to make cute little crochet monsters and such. Like zombies, ninjas, roman soldiers, etc. I am really excited to start making these little guys :)

Careful observers will note that I have not finished my mom's booties. I also have to start making things for Christmas for family. Unless I suddenly become rich overnight (ha!) everyone gets home made gifts :)

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Emotional Eating- NSV

Yesterday was a very emotional day for me. I recently heard from a friend of a friend that they thought I would "never amount to much" but I know that this person doesn't think much of women in general, not just me.

This has bothered me because to be honest, I do feel like I haven't amounted to much. I have never accomplished anything worthwhile. I mean, I graduated college- but I didn't want to go and I didn't try my hardest. I got married to the most wonderful guy in the world- but I feel that could be a fluke of luck (believe me I tell him every day how lucky I am and how wonderful he is- I don't take him for granted)

When I talked to my mom about this she said that she was very proud of me- after all I married a great guy, have a great apartment in a great location, and I am doing well for myself. I cried then. Being married isn't an accomplishment. You get married for $40. I know because that's how I did it. When I expressed this opinion, she asked me what it was I thought I should have accomplished by now, or what my goals for the future were. And I didn't have an answer. I still don't. I think of weight loss as a goal, but it wouldn't be one if I hadn't eaten everything in sight for the last three years. So I ended that conversation with my mom because I didn't know what I thought I was doing.

I asked my husband if he thought I had anything to be proud of and he said the same thing my mom said. That I was married to him. I would have laughed if I didn't feel like crying. Not that he is full of himself or conceited, but my greatest accomplishment is marrying a man. Wow. Talk about... a let down. Not against hubby- he's wonderful and I wouldn't trade him for the world (which is saying a lot, as I sell everything not nailed down to the floor)

I just feel like... I should do more. Be more. Want more out of life. I sit and I think and I come up with nothing. Interesting and sad. I always was a dreamer- I wanted to be a model or a singer or an author or an artist. You know one of those creative people.

I guess its a small case of identity crisis I have.

Well I have been rather mopey about it lately and its done my head in so I had another talk with hubby about it. I usually turn to food or sleeping as a coping mechanism but this time I didn't. It really sucked to sit there and think about my emotions and how I was feeling without being able to drown it in cheese fries. I told him that I was still feeling quite down about it and I didn't know what to do or where to go from here. I don't have any goals in mind or any thoughts on what I want out of life anymore. I feel like I am settling- that all I want is a house with a white picket fence and a golden retriever.

He pulled me into a hug (this is where I started crying) and told me that I can do whatever I want to do, but not to be discouraged that I can't see a big picture. If you want to be an artist, he said, work on your art for an hour a day. If you want to be a writer, then brainstorm a bit each day. If you want to lose weight, focus on each choice instead of losing x in y time frame. Small goals.

And while I had already thought of that, and knew it was the logical answer and place to start (Rome wasn't built in a day!) it felt so good to hear someone else say it.

Through all of this mess though, part of me wanted to eat a bag of Reese miniatures. Part of me wanted a greaseball burger and fries. But I didn't eat anything. And today, the sun is actually a little brighter. I don't feel like I am drowning in self pity anymore. I do feel like I am a stronger person today than I was yesterday.

Food was a little over, by 17 calories. I had 1460 as a budget and came in at 1477. I also exercised (ran on the elliptical) for 230 calories.

Today I had a bowl of slow cooker chili (sans candle wax lol I made another batch)

It's 91 degrees out. I hope we have a really mild fall/winter. Today- Either a bike ride outside or Stella for another day of C25K :)

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Couch 2 5K- Running day 1

I already completed C25K day one on Stella- in which I complete 5.49 miles and burned 494 calories. I was super proud of myself. I wanted to go running today on the elliptical.

I got ready, spending 45 minutes on my hair and makeup. I took a bunch of before pics.

On my way to the fitness center, I saw this little guy

I was all of 6 feet away from him. He was so close I could almost touch him. I love where I live, we have lots of these little guys around.

The machine at the fitness center is *huge*

I'm at eye level with this monster

I ran only 15 minutes- I say "only" but I don't really mean it like that. My last run was 10 minutes, so I went 50% longer. Its harder to run on the elliptical than it is to bicycle, definitely.

But I want to point out that I am not disappointed with myself, quite the opposite. I pushed myself today, harder than I have before, going 1.75 miles. I also burned 230 calories.

Halfway through my run, another user came into the facility and I freaked out theres another person... who can see me run, see my fat jiggle, see my tits hit my face... but he only said hello and jumped on the treadmill that was in front of me.

Here's me after my run- I sweated all my makeup off!

I'm watching the premiere of Biggest Loser on right now. If you missed it last night, you *have* to watch it. It's so heart breaking and uplifting at the same time. I've gone through 4 kleenex so far. All the stories and backgrounds are absolutely heartbreaking. All of them.

I am not going to give up. Not when I can still move. I am going to give it my all.
I will lose this weight. I will not give up. You shouldn't either.

Edit: The Biggest Loser was so inspirational and uplifting, but I cried like a ninny. I mean a lot, i have 7 used tissues just from me sobbing lol

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Defeated and Lifted Up Again

Ok, I didn't like that last blog post. Too whiny. Not enough cheese. (Get it, wine and cheese? Ah, never mind)
Sorry it was all long and rambly (more than usual) and a bit of a downer.

Suffice it to say, I was feeling down and blue. Then I read Sheryl's post about Binges and Recovering from a Setback and there was one bit in particular that really stood out to me

"Remember that every single choice you are presented with after a not-so-great choice is a chance to move forward, a chance to choose better, a chance to just get back up and start over. You don't need to wait for the next week, the next day, or even the next meal - every choice counts. And every choice is a chance to choose differently and better"

Yep, copy and pasted directly from her post- even the formatting!

It got me thinking. "Why wait until tomorrow to do my best?" It was also 11:45 pm- "tomorrow" was in 15 minutes but thats not the point ;)

So I downloaded the Couch 2 5K app for my iphone (c25k for short) and I started the first day, but I did it on Stella. Now I don't know if it's because I was riding and not running, or maybe I'm faster than I think I am, but the first day I surpassed a 5k (3 miles). I went 5.49 in 31 minutes (including a 5 minute warm up and cool down) and I burned 494 calories.

Let me repeat that: I burned 494 calories. In 31 minutes. And I completed day 1 without stopping. Oh and I went 5.49 miles!! That is a lot to be proud of.

I mean, a lot. After not riding my bike for weeks and weeks, I actually did 31 minutes. And 5.49 miles. And burned 494 calories. Can you tell I am still basking in the afterglow??

I ate extremely well today- only 1356 consumed. I had a deficit of 598. (931 but while typing I had a post-workout snack of 1 serving chicken salad on 5 saltine crackers for 333 calories)
Weee a deficit! And even exercise! What a good day

One or the Other

It seems like I can't do two things at once. Which is not really a surprise, I'm not much of a multi-tasker. If you can believe it, I have trouble walking and chewing gum at the same time, though to be honest, I really just have trouble walking. Curse you, clumsiness!

I have noticed something though, as I track my food and exercise, there is a disturbing trend. You see, I either eat really well, stay under my calories for the day... OR.... I exercise but go over my calories. I can't seem to do both. If I exercise a lot and create a deficit, I spend the rest of the day freaking out about how much hungrier I seem to be. And I can't stop eating. While its not like I go to a buffet and eat 2 of every item, I still can't stop at 1500 calories. For instance, say I ride my bike for 20 minutes and burn 250 calories. I would eat all of those 250 calories back later, which doesnt help me loose weight.

It's frustrating because I want to lose weight, I know I can, but it seems like I haven't gotten anywhere. I keep gaining/losing the same 10 lbs over and over again. I feel like quitting. It sucks to even admit that I am a quitter, but that's how I feel. I have to acknowledge that feeling.

But don't worry, I won't quit.

As I step on the scale and notice the weight staying stubbornly in the 220s, I wonder if there is something wrong with me. Not so much as in I am defective, but maybe I'm approaching this wrong? Part of me wants a quick-fix now. And believe me, I have that option available to me. My insurance covers weight loss surgery. So there is always that route. But it feels like I would be cheating. Besides I've done surgery and it doesn't cure anything ever. Ask my ankle! It helps but you are not cured or fixed or 100% ever again. It's invasive, and there are lots of medications involved. And lets not forget the pain.

No, surgery isn't an option. It's appealing, but only in that daydream sort of way, where you think its all rainbows and butterflies and frolicking through the fields, but you forget that before all of that it's all thunderstorms and lightning, sobbing alone in the dark while you pity yourself and just beg for it all to be over.

I had a point and then I lost it. Wait, there it is. One or the Other. Catchy title.

I'm having trouble multi-tasking. I can't seem to do both exercise and eating right. And that is what is killing me. Stalling me. Making me miserable.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Waxing Lyrical

Last night, I made chili. I dont like to toot my own horn (who am I kidding, if I don't who will?) but it was pretty darn good. I had a lb of 90/10 sirloin, a big can of 32 oz red kidney beans with mild chili seasoning, .5 packet of Lipton's Secret Recipe onion soup mix (side note: buy this and add it to EVERYTHING) as well as some frozen chopped green pepper and corn. Seasonings included a lot of chili powder, dash of Worcestershire sauce, and a dash of crushed red pepper. It was a little spicy for my taste, but hubby loved it. Especially the corn.

I also made corn bread. Yuuuum. It's pretty low calorie too, considering its a bread. Of corn. Yum. If you make the muffins out of a Jiffy mix (6 total) it's 170 calories for one. If you planned your whole day so all you ate was honey crisp apples so you could eat but not eat all your calories so you could really enjoy your cornbread, you would be like me.

Anyway, corn bread is done, chili is done; I slice up the corn bread and dish up the chili neglecting to put the lid back on the crockpot, and take it to hubby. He oohs and aaahs and omg-this-is-the-best-chili-evers and I have a little as well. I had 1 cup of chili at 300 calories and 4 muffins at 680 calories, in case you are wondering.

Later, I decide that I want to go to the bookstore and purchase my favorite trilogy. I had it once before but I had to sell it for next to nothing while we were unemployed and I needed cash. I missed it. I was going to buy the e-book versions (as they were the same price) but hubby convinced me I would like the paperback version better. Off to the bookstore we go! Hubby puts a lid on the chili and we are out the door. We kept it on "keep warm" because he was going to have another bowl when we got home, and I like the smell of gently simmering chili.

We found the books, returned home, and forgot all about chili. I took a nap, and hubby worked on some artwork. Then he decides he's hungry. While I am still sleeping on the couch, he goes out to the kitchen.

"OH NO!"

"Oh, my god! How did that happen?"

I wake up, terrified, "what, what's going on? everything okay?" I thought our new stoneware dishes cracked in the dishwasher, or something catastrophic like that happened.

No answer.

"What's happening? Baby?"

"There is a candle in the chili. It melted."

I get up to go look and sure enough, our red chili is stained with blue wax, meandering through beans and tomato alike, polluting it all. The kitchen smells like spring waterfalls and chili, an intoxicating, yet disturbing aroma.

How did this happen?

Well, its essentially my fault. When I took the lid off, I carelessly sat it on a pedestal that had 2 fat candles on. The lid was hot and covered in condensation, so I paid no attention to it. And sure enough, I didn't have any problem while I was cooking, as I never left the lid off for more than a minute. Hubby, being cautious, not trusting our cats to leave the delicious chili alone, put the lid back on but somehow the candle had melted just enough that it stuck to the lid. And into the chili it went.

It was seriously something out of a bad sitcom.

Well I had to get rid of the chili, so I dumped it down our garbage disposal. The second the melted wax hit the cold stainless steel of my sink, it cooled and hardened. I had to spend a good 15 minutes with hot, hot hot water and a scratch pad getting my sink cleaned.

on the plus side, I guess you don't have to worry about me sneaking off to the kitchen to eat any lol :(

Friday, September 17, 2010

Yay New iPhone

I found out I can upgrade my iPhone for free now! My husband, for some reason, has to wait until January 18th or to pay a fee, so I am going to go in and see how much it would cost him to upgrade. We are on the same plan and I am the account holder, so I think I probably get the benefit and he doesn't.

Whether you are an iPhone hater or lover, it's always neat to get a new phone. I even have promised to sell off my current one to a relative. :) I do hope that it's not terribly expensive to upgrade my husbands, as I might be nice and do that for him today. If not he will have to wait until next pay check. I should be nice and wait to upgrade mine. I might even consider it. But I don't think I could haha :)

Don't worry, dearest husband, you can play with my new iPhone. After I'm done.

Note: This man is so spoiled, do not feel bad for him. I let him buy a video game for $30 then he said that he was sad that he didn't get this other one, so I let him go back and buy it, for another $30 in the SAME DAY. All that I asked for in return was a clean car. Yeah, spoiled. So he can wait 4 months for a new phone. He might get it for Christmas.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

New Policy: Why Not Try It?

If you know anything about me, which you might, you would know that I am extremely apprehensive. I am of a nervous disposition. I would use smelling salts and a feather fan to keep myself from fainting if not for modern medicine.

I am constantly worried about everything. All the time. A typical day is like this "should i get dressed to go get the mail how dressy should i be what if this doesnt match who will see me anyway they all think im weird i dont know why i bother i am so whale like anyway they will all point and laugh i dont know what to do i want to go do this but that involves going out side they must think i am a vampire or a hermit i should just go back to bed"

And I don't get the mail.

However, you can clearly see that this is not a healthy way to be. I am in fact, paranoid of everyone. I hate to admit it, but I just don't like people and I can see myself easily becoming the crazy cat lady (hey I already have two furry little monsters, one who I want to train to walk on a leash...)

But I decided to try something for a few weeks. I like to call it "whats the worst that can happen?"

We went to the store last night and I picked up some hair dye. I looked at various shades of blonde. I am a natural brunette, and spent a great deal of my life so far being blonde. I loved it, but thought it was time for a change, and did a few different shades of red and brown, and while I liked it, I missed being blonde. I went back to blonde about 8 weeks ago, and I love it. It was time to touch up so I got another shade, golden blonde.

I slapped it on my head and waited 25 minutes. I checked it. Nope, still red. Waited another ten minutes. I looked at my head. Well it's Dark red. Oh well, I think. Its not blonde, but its a different color. What's the worst that can happen? It turns green and I have to stay inside for a few days until I can dye it back? Um hello, Im a hermit.

I rinse it and its still red, except my roots. My roots are bleach blonde. I suppose that comes from following the instructions of applying it to your roots first. I condition it. I would have blow dried it, but it's midnight and my neighbors wouldnt appreciate that, so I just towel dry it and hope for the best.

I check every ten minutes to see if it looks any better and it actually turned out really great. Its a golden blonde so it has very faint undertones of red in it. I like it, but next time I am going to do a different, brighter, lighter blonde. I am tired of red.

I may wait a few days and buy a blonde highlighting kit again and do a frosted effect.

Oh, I went to Fashion Bug to pick up my purchases and I really did enjoy how easy it was and what a great deal I got. I bought two shirts on line, for 7.25 on clearance. They were originally $15 each. So hows that for a deal?

I have decided that while I am fat, I am going to look my best and feel my best if I buy clothes I like (I never shopped for fashionable plus clothes, just Walmart kind) and I am going to be the hair color I like. I am going to wear my contacts, do my make up and try and do one thing a day that puts me outside my comfort zone. Because being comfy is what got me fat.

I promise to post a pic of my new hair after I've got it styled and everything. Right now it's in the post-dye state, where its so ridiculously shiny and smooth it cant hold a hair tie. I need to sleep on it or something to grease it up a bit. :)

Now, if you will excuse me, I have to get back to my Lite-Brite app on my iPhone.

Remember- Love yourself, because if you can't who the hell could?

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Love: V8 Splash Smoothie and Sales

I bought some V8 splash last night at the store, while grocery shopping. I wanted to try it for a while now but I've always been afraid. Well I decided I would stop being stupid, and try it. Whats the worst that could happen? I'd hate it. Whats the best that could happen? I'd love it.

In the cart it went. I was thrilled, giddy almost. I got something new to try!

Also in stock: Honey-crisp apples. If you have never ever tried one and they are available in your area: GO GET THEM. Now! Stop reading, and skedaddle. Hurry! before I buy them all! I bought 6 at 2.99/lb and they are big big apples. 6 was 2.25 lbs, so I spent a little under $7 on apples. Sooo goooooood. They are a little green now but thats ok. They can sit in my fridge and get all cold and delicious.

We also had a lot of other items on our list, and surprise! 95% were on sale. Bags of frozen chicken breasts, 40 oz, are usually $10. This week, they were $5. So I bought 2. Ground beef, 90-10 was on sale too, from 4.89 to 3.50 a lb. I bought 2. Cheese was on sale, glorious cheese! Kraft cheese cubes, on sale 3 for 6 dollars. I bought 3. I know I don't have to buy all three to get the deal, but if you pay any attention I love cheese.

I still spent a lot of money, a little under $85 but that will last us two weeks easily. Especially the cheese.

The V8 is in the fridge all nice and chilled (I really like cold food) and I pour myself a glass. It looks so smooth, and creamy. I take an apprehensive drink. Like wine tasting, I swirl, sniff and swish. This is... really good! REALLY GOOD. It tastes like yogurt. Delicious yogurt.
The only problem I had with it on the label it said "made with the juices of 7 fruits and veggies" but in fact, it only has one veggie. A purple carrot. Meh, I have more problems with fruit than I do with veggies, so this is no problem for me.

Breakfast today was a Nutrigrain bar and 12 oz of V8, for 280 calories. I have to finish getting ready, I am going to go pick up my Fashion Bug purchases. I was awesome and shopped online, clearance, where it was 85% off. Weee!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

30 Days Finished & Recap

Before I get to my results, I want to recap what I learned these last 30 days:

-I am a slave to the scale, if I have it in front of me.
-If I stop exercising even for one day, I won't do it the next. Or the next. Or the... you get it.
-Life events like going out to eat for a birthday did not destroy me. I barely touched my delicious food.
-However, cravings might. This month I gorged on a few different days. Most days I only ate once, but I ate all 1500 calories. One day I went over to 2600.
-If there isn't any soda in the house, I can easily drink half a gallon of water, or more depending on the temp outside.
-The more I exercise, the more energy I have.
-PMS will eff with my diet and emotions. It would be better next time if I actually planned an "off day" so I wont deal with any guilt.
-Life is great! Not worrying about the scale or measuring tape, but just enjoying my family and friends.

Okay, here are the results:

Weight- Start: 229 Current: 226 Loss: 3 lbs
Bust- Start: 42 Current: 42 Loss: 0
Waist- Start: 38 Current: 37 Loss 1
Abs- Start: 43 Current: 41 Loss: 2
Hips- Start: 50 Current: 49 Loss: 1
R. Th- Start: 27 Current: 27 Loss: 0
L Th- Start: 28.5 Current: 27 Loss: 1.5
R Calf- Start: 17 Current: 17 Loss: 0
L Calf- Start: 17 Current: 17.5 Gain: .5
R Arm-Start: 13.5 Current: 14 Gain: .5 *
L Arm- Start: 13.5 Current: 15 Gain: 1.5*

*Note: I am not entirely sure I accurately measured these in the first place, but that is the data I had, so whether or not they really were 13.5 inches they are 14 and 15 now respectively. I doubt I gained an 1.5 on one arm in a month, as I didnt do much strength training and all my fat goes to my ass/stomach. It is what it is though.

Total Loss: 3 lbs
Inches: 5.5" lost, 2.5" gained, net loss 3"

My thoughts: I am ecstatic. Remember my goal? If I didn't lose anything at all, I would get my blood work done? Well I lost a little bit, 3 lbs in 30 days, which is 1 lb every week and a half. Pretty good for not really trying. For staying off the scale and recording what I ate, no matter if it was "on plan" or not.

What's next?

Well my birthday is in 28 days from today! I'll be the big 2-3!

Starting now, I am embarking on another journey, a birthday countdown weee! It will be all about weight loss, of course. And activity. Wee!

Tuesdays will be weigh in day. The 28th will be a measurement day. According to MFP (my fitness pal) I should work out 3x a week and burn a total of 760 calories for the week. I think I can manage that!

What I want to accomplish this week:

Tracking. It's starting to become more important to me again, and I actually look forward to adding something to my log, whether its food or activity.

Meal planning: Specifically, snacks. I need to have more of these on hand. I like to snack, like anyone :) I'm thinking I need more string cheese or cheese cubes. I love cheese.

Also, late September is Honey-crisp Apple season. These are my absolute favorite apples! I am not joking when I say that I go through literally dozens of these in a few short weeks. Last year, I was eating 3-4 a day. If they were in season all year round, I am sure I would get all my fruits in.
Of course, like in everything else, I happen to like the exotic brand of apples that are expensive and not in season very long. Just call me diva. Did you know that I considered placing an order on-line to an orchard that had them in stock all season long? But when I found out the price, I changed my mind. It's $90 for a bushel. If I got a bushel it wouldnt last long. Like 2 days.
Maybe when I'm rich.

Ok, I have to skedaddle, my neighbor got a new computer and I have to set it up for her. She's paying me to do it. Wee. I hope it doesnt take long. I have to go get gas and go visit my mom for the season 3 Finale of True Blood, as I haven't seen it yet. Don't spoil it for me!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Day 29- It's almost here!

It's my Weigh-in Eve, sort of like Christmas! Yay!

Tomorrow is the big day folks!

A recap of yesterday:

I ate 1,388 calories of my 1,500.
I went outside and rode my bike for 50 minutes- going longer and faster and further than I have before, and burnt 520 calories.
It was a nice day to get out and ride my bike, I really enjoyed being outside. Despite the fact that there were bugs outside. lol

If every day were like yesterday, I would be 215.1 lbs in 5 weeks :)

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Day 28! Wee

I love my fitness pal. I know I mentioned it before, but it really is a great, easy to use tool that allows me to see instant results.

I logged all my food in yesterday, coming in at 1455 for the day, and when I hit "complete this entry" it said "If every day were like today, you would weigh 219.1 lbs in 5 weeks" Wow. Now that is some motivation. I don't know about you, but seeing how much I could lose instead of guessing if I will lose is a great motivation.

You also can track how much water you are getting, whether or not you have extra notes to put in. Like say you go out to eat with your family and you have a steak and mashed potatoes. You log it in and then put in the notes "went out to eat with family" then when you look over your logs later and you see why you went way over one day last week, theres a reminder of what happened. You can also document your feelings or whatever else is on your mind, it shows a direct correlation. I love that word. Correlation.

I need to get my exercise in. I did one day of Biggest Loser body sculpt, but I think I need a new set of hand weights (!) as I am not getting enough resistance on my arms anymore. I am using 2 lb weights, I think I can go up to 5 lbs. Oh, I'm nervous and excited. But I shouldn't be nervous. If I put too much strain on my body with the heavier weights, I can go back to the smaller ones. I know this in my mind. But my head is playing tricks with me. "You'll never be able to. You'll have wobbly arms for ever" Shut up brain.

The reason for not working out is, well, honestly, I've been too busy. I know! Me! Busy! Not lazy! I've been working on the comic book thing and coloring takes up a lot of time. A lot of time. Not to mention that if it doesn't look right, right away, I get panicky and start over. It's been a process. But I am happy to say that I have a bit of free time today and will be doing something. I really wanted a bike ride yesterday but it was rainy. Today it is sunny. Perhaps I will get one in. Fingers crossed.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Day 26....Why did I do that?

My days are quickly running out!

I logged all of my food yesterday- all of it- and I came in at 2620 calories. Which is, needless to say, way way over 1500. By 1120 in fact.

I didn't want to log the food. But whether or not I admitted that I logged it, I still ate it. And I promised to log my food no matter what.

I know why I overate as much as I did. :( I don't regret it, but it did make me think. No wonder I can't lose any weight. I do so well for a while, then I ruin it by eating a lot.

I was pms-ing hard core yesterday. I was on the verge of tears all day, I was so lonely, and if I wasn't sleeping (which was a lot) then I was eating (which was a lot)
I was definitely eating my emotions yesterday. I couldnt stop thinking of chocolates, and cookies, and cakes. I could bake a cake! Wouldn't that be yummy! What about cheesecake brownies... oooh. And ice cream, might as well have ice cream. If I'm having ice cream I might as well have pizza, like a party. A party all for meeeeee..... then reality kicked in. It's not a party if you are sitting there, alone, shoving food down your face while you are crying because you are lonely and just need a hug. who would hug me anyway, with my chocolate streaked face and my pizza stained t shirt?

Today I am much, much better, in control of my eating and not feeling so helpless, hopeless, and lonely. I am still sleeping a lot, I woke up at 4pm.

I also have my water intake up again.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Day 25.....

In 5 short days, my 30 days of me are up. Well not really, all my days are days of me. But my little experiment is coming to an end.

With the middle of September rolling around and my 30 days up on the 14th I'd like to point out some other dates, to help me stay motivated:

-the next Tuesday, 21st, starts the newest season of Biggest Loser on NBC. Time to meet the new contestants and sob like a ninny. Grab the tissues!

-The start of fall! Weeeeeee! booooooots!

-only 12 days until the county fair from my home town. That means elephant ears, gyros, walking tacos, caramel apples, etc etc. as well as lots of walking and scary, rickety rides that I love so much. I am really looking forward to it!

-The 30th is the day my lease is up! what the what?! This will be our third signing.

-only 28 short short days until my birthday. (Oct 5) I'll be 23. It sure would be great to have lost some weight by then, so I can buy new clothes to spoil myself with. If not, any and all money will be used to pay off my credit cards. That's the deal. (Either way, its beneficial, no real losing, right?)

I'm thinking if I havent lost 15 lbs in 58 days (from the start of my 30 days experiment until my birthday) I don't deserve to spend my money on something I love, and I should be responsible with it. Goodness. Let's hope I've lost some, eh? This girl needs new clothes! Or she will be crocheting them all out of itchy yarn!

-New episodes of Mythbusters start October 6th, yay! Jamie wants big boom! And so do I!

-Halloween is coming up! Not that I have any parties to go to, or even want to go to, but I do enjoy the festive-ness of the season. I'm sure hubby's work will have some sort of potluck or something, so I will get to use my creative juices for that.

It's not only the end of an experiment, it's really the start of my fall. I am totally excited to see what this fall will bring. Cool nights, warm jackets, sexy boots, maybe a new wardrobe if I work at it hard enough!

I started My Fitness Pal the other day, and I absolutely love how easy and convenient it is. I can print off reports, if I'm inclined, and a bunch of other neat things. Also when you finalize your food & exercise log for the day it tells you: "If you eat like this every day, you will weigh x lbs in 5 weeks" how cool is that? Talk about motivation!

Plus each member gets a blog automatically (you can't really format them like you can here on blogger, they are all pretty generic looking) and you can do status updates like Twitter or Facebook. It posts your exercise and calories burned automatically as well as whether or not you came in under your calorie goal for the day. I've been honest in my journaling, making entries BEFORE I put anything in my mouth. Let's hope it helps!

I came in 45 calories under for Wednesday, (technically today, I haven't gone to bed yet.) and managed to do 20 minutes of exercise! I did the Biggest Loser Strength Training and Sculpt, or whatever it's called. It's a rough 20 minutes especially with those damned reverse crunches. I hate them I hate them I hate them--- but I feel them working my gut, so thats a good thing. Maybe I will learn to love them! I doubt it, but there's always hope.

What I want to accomplish in the next 5 days:

-Journal every day. No matter if I go over or not. Journal.
-Work out 20 minutes a day. Even if it's walking.
-Drink my 8 glasses of water a day. Which wont be hard, as hubby has banned soda from the house! :( I was doing well, then we got Diet Mt Dew and I guzzled it all down like an SUV on unleaded.

I think that's plenty for now :)

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Day 24-My Fitness Pal

Welp, I found a new website/iPhone app to use to log my calories and exercise. It's I am pretty excited about this one. Previously I was using Lose It! and while that one worked well enough, the database just wasn't what I was looking for. It was hard to edit things. This one is great! It has homemade foods, fast food, restaurants, store bought foods, and you can easily just slap in some calories if you are in a big hurry. Say you made your lunch and you measured it out, portioned it, and you know it was 250 calories but you don't have the time to manually add the meal in (because you spent most of your lunch counting portions haha) then you can just put under the "Lunch" category that you ate 250 calories. Still being responsible!

It also remembers what you eat the most of, so if you are a creature of habit and have your cereal for breakfast every morning-bam!- ten seconds to log your meal! Best of all, its online as well as an app, and both are 100% FREE!!

There are also neat little tools like the weight loss ticker (see my new one up top?) Basal Metabolic Rate calculators, BMI calculators and a few other things as well as a forum for support or making new friends. Also a great way to find more bloggy friends if you don't have enough on your blog roll (like me!)

Based on my height and weight it told me that I should be eating 1500 calories a day, which is 100 more than I was- yippee! lol I can have an extra snack!

You can also set up exercise goals- I want to work out 3x a week, 30 minutes each, for instance, is the default. It also tells you how many calories you should burn during that week, which for me, is 760 calories.

Last night I made super yummy enchiladas for dinner, surprisingly hubby wanted them again, he said mine were the best! ;) I made him chicken and I made mine beef, I had some left over shredded beef I needed to use up and he didn't want any, so his loss, right? It worked out though, as I made 3 chicken breasts for his enchiladas and there was barely enough to cover his dinner and lunch today! (He really liked them haha) I had 3 enchiladas between yesterday and today, at 400 calories each! Yikes. But hey, I eat what I love. I know its like an opportunity cost- My calories are a scarcity- I have a finite number of them. If I eat full calorie cheese and flour tortillas, I will have less calories for other meals throughout the day, but I get full flavor. If I eat low carb or low fat foods, I can eat more of them, but it tastes worse. Hmm. I can always do a combination of both, too. As long as I stay under 1500 calories.

I also drank a lot of water yesterday- over half a gallon! I told my mom this and she misread what I typed and thought I drank a whole gallon, which I wouldn't be able to do anyway, and she told me to be careful. Aww, bless. I found if I have a straw for my water bottle, I suck it down quicker. It also has to be REALLY cold. I am sooo picky about my drinks. If its a cold drink, it has to be ice-cold (minus actual ice) and if its a hot drink, it has to be boiling lava hot, or I won't drink it.

I'm such a weirdo sometimes.

I have a pedometer that I have been using and I have to say, my numbers are shockingly low, even though I work from home, I still thought I would move more than I do! Here's how it looks so far:

Saturday- 4450 steps (this was the day I went to the car auction/swap meet)
Sunday- 1718 steps (I went grocery shopping this day)
Monday- 686 steps
Tuesday- 300 steps (!!!)
Wednesday- 125 (So far, after all, the day's not over!)

No wonder my legs, knees, ankles, and hips were protesting on Saturday. Even if I took my second highest day, Sunday, I was doing quadruple what I normally do! Eff! With an office job, I would do about 5000 a day. I thought I wasn't getting enough in then, if I could tell that me what this me does a day, that me would feel proud of herself. And maybe then she wouldn't have gained as much being depressed.

Okay bloggy friends I have to get some exercise in today, in some manner. I have a busy afternoon/evening ahead of me. I have to do some work and then I have to get my butt in gear coloring for the comic book I am doing. It's a pain to get started but once I do it everyday I will be flying through the pages in no time. I am pretty sure that they want it done ASAP as it's already been in the works for over a year and a half before it came to my husband and I. And he had to completely re-draw the comic, now I get to color it. Lucky for me, for the most part it comes natural to me. I just have to get to the point where I can knock out a page in a few hours instead of a few days. 35 pages. If I could get to the point where it took only 4 hours to color a whole page, I could do it all in under 5 days. Right now, its like 12 hrs a page. So that will take considerably longer. Also I have no idea how to do backgrounds, so that will require some research. Eep. Stop typing already, get moving Christie!

Ciao xo

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

I Felt Dumb

I wanted to go on a bike ride so bad yesterday, while we still had some "summer" weather around. Getting our bikes out and around is kind of a huge chore. We live on the second floor so there is a lot of lifting involved as we go up and down stairs and our bikes are beach cruisers meaning they weight 400 lbs each (exaggeration, they actually weigh 45-55, mine's lighter)

We had been considering not a month ago on getting rid of the bikes, as it was "too hard" to ride them. We thought they were just heavy as they were cruisers. Turns out, the tires were just way too under inflated.

The conversation went like this:

Me: I want to go bike riding
Him: Me too
Me: Let's go!
Him: OK!
*pulling bikes off balcony*
Me: Eww they are all dirty from all the construction!
*grabs towel to wipe them off*
Him: I want to check the tires. They look a little low on air.
Me: UGH again they are fine come on
Him: they are a little low
Me: This is why I hate bikes all this waiting and pumping... it's stupid. I don't even want to go anymore.
Him: don't be like that, it will only take a minute.
Me: you even know what the psi has to be?
Him: I think it's like 30 or something.
Me: Don't you have a thingy? To check it? That silver thing that has the measurements? (I am so mechanically inclined)
Him: Somewhere, why? *continues pumping*
Me: I know it's around here somewhere. *rustles around in desk* Aha!
Me: Do you know how much air to put in?
Him: Uhmmm...... *looks at tire* Oh here we go! 50 psi it says.
Me: Check your pressure now
Him: Ok *checks pressure* it's 20.
Me: BAHAHA you got a ways to go
Him: Wow it was really low, good thing I checked!
Me: Ok while you do yours, I will check mine then we can go.
Him: Ok
*I check mine*
Him: What's yours at
Him: What? five?
Me: Yes 5 PSI. Its a wonder my tires didn't burst from underinflation with my fat ass on there.
Me: I'm checking my back tire.
Me: OMG my back tire is so low it didnt even register. It's 0!!! WTH
Him: HAHAHA ok I will fill yours too.

15 minutes later (we have a hand pump had to sweat to make it work haha) we are out and riding around.

Me: WOW how great this is so easy!
Him: I know I was freaking out we had forgotten how to ride a bike!
Me: We should read the instructions more often!
Him: Yeah! And bike more often too!
Me: This is so easy!
Him: I was really worried I was out of shape!
Me: Weeeeee weeee weeeeeeeeeee!

It was the best bike ride ever, friends. It was actually a lot of fun to ride and I enjoyed the wind in my hair and being outside for a little while. We were gone 40 minutes and I burned 216 calories. I pedaled for all I was worth a few times. It was a lot easier going up hills and gaining momentum. Who would have thought tire pressure would be so critical? Now I just need to check the tires on my car.....

Monday, September 6, 2010

Day 22- What Happened Here?

Yesterday we went grocery shopping and then we went out to my favorite Mexican restaurant! I got a shredded beef burrito slathered in mole sauce and cheddar cheese and a ground beef enchilada, with refried beans and rice! Yum! I couldn't eat but half of it and took the other half home. I was so full! 5 hours later, I ate the other half. Again, I was really full.

I loved it and I don't regret my choice... Until this morning. I stepped on the scale and I was up 4.5 lbs. Yeah, I'm now back where I started! So from today until the 14th, I've got some goals to accomplish:

-I will drink at least 32 oz of water every day.
-I will take all of my fiber supplements
-I will count calories and stay under my budget
-I will work out every day.
-I will not eat out. I will cook/make all my meals.
-I will count my steps on my pedometer
-I will stay off the scale. It's messing with my head again.

This afternoon I got up and started slugging back water, took half of my fiber supplement and then made a salad. I woke up at noon, so it was time for lunch rather than breakfast!

2 oz of mixed greens (spinach, endive, and some baby lettuces/greens all mixed up) and 2 oz of diced ham cubes, 1/4 cup of shredded cheese, and 2 Tbl of light French dressing for a total of 285 calories.

Yesterday was a nice day but I have to get back on plan. I was doing soooo good. I would hate to have undone all my progress for the month because I enjoyed my enchiladas! :)

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Day 20- I did what now?

Day 20.

Family fun day in my little hometown with its annual parade and festival for car fanatics from around the world. There was a parade, there was a swap-meet with all sorts of things from furniture to car parts to funky visors with fake ugly hair attached, old baby buggies, vintage mirrors, gas pumps and vending machines, ice shavers. It was amazing! Hubby and I were kind enough to go with my dad. I say "kind enough" because he is known to dwell at a swap meet for HOURS and HOURS on end. With all sorts of fair food and drinks, port-a-potties and cars worth hundreds of thousands of dollars on display and up for auction, it's easy to lose track of time.

This particular venture lasted two hours. I was wearing my Shape-ups and walking on gravel roads is not any fun. Soon my hip began hurting a little. Then my bad ankle. Suddenly I had pain shooting down my entire leg. I only whispered to hubby that I was in a lot of pain. I grit my teeth and beared it though. This is once a year stuff! Also, I haven't even exercised in almost 3 weeks, what do you expect?

We sat down for a bit, probably 10 glorious minutes, before we headed back home. I had a pedometer and I walked 5000 steps (significantly more than usual) I logged it into my iPhone and I had burned about 500 calories walking for so long. No wonder I was sore!

I am feeling better today. My hip was still very sore, but it cracked and I felt it snap back into place and now I am able to walk weeee! my ankle hurts though, and today's exercise will be limited to grocery shopping as we are out of everything to eat! I feel like a fat disability woman though I know its only temporary. :(

Im well aware of how funny this all sounds. Imagine if I had to go to the doctor and explain my injuries. "Now tell me how you got injured, Mrs HTMLN." "Well doc, I was walking." "And?" No that's the end of the story. Walking. My fat arse was walking trying to get in shape and I hurt myself." Doctor blinks, mouth hits the ground. "Well take it easy for a few days..." "But that's how I got fat, I took it easy for a while and then gained and gained."


Friday, September 3, 2010

My Hero!

Well what do you know? Not only did I get this award but I *inspired* it! Ha! How's that for really flippin' awesome!? I'm tickled pink!

Paula over at Paula Wanna Cracker (love the name too) made up the "Did You Know You're My Hero" award and gave it to *me* :D

I never thought I would be a hero or inspire anyone to do anything other than eat a lot of cheese and pine over knee high boots!

Paula and I have become great blogger friends. We usually send an email or two back and forth every once and a while and one of our current conversations was about inspiration. She said she was impressed I could stay under 1400 calories a day and I told her it's nothing to sneeze at that she can run 3 miles every day! I can't do that. I am totally jealous. She knows it :) Oh and I am also jealous of all the great looking mexican food she makes every day. I've been trying to wrangle out some of her recipes (unsuccessfully, I might add!) for a while now. I will just have to drool over her yummy pics instead hehe. Paula, you are a wonderful mother, grandmother, cook, runner, blogger and story teller. Also a cheese lover like me, so that's probably why we get on so well.

Okay now the rules of the blog say to list people who have inspired you in some form or another and be specific about it.

Lyn at Escape from Obesity: Lyn is on Medifast and has lost almost 100 lbs from her heaviest weight. She's been through a lot of difficult situations in her life. She is a strong, strong woman. I hope to someday be half as strong as she is. Go sexy momma!

PlushBelle: She's a newcomer on the blogging scene, and I am so excited I stumbled across her blog. She is working towards a healthier weight as well but damned if she isn't going to look stylish now. She's inspired me to start looking for fashionable, cute plus size clothing while I work my numbers down. Might as well look and feel good instead of like a troll in a ball gown right?
Any other great stores to recommend?

Petra at The Constant Battle with My Inner Devil: She's from Germany! Huzzah! I was born there, you know. Represent! Haha... I don't know any German though. Lucky me her blog is in English and she is working on becoming a personal fitness trainer! Wow! Not only has she lost weight and gotten in shape, but now she wants to help others do too. Sign me up!

Kayla at Big Girl No More: While she doesn't post much (I hope she starts up again soon) she is a woman who is losing all of her excess body weight naturally. I am so proud of what she has accomplished! she started out at over 430 lbs and has worked hard and lost an amazing 140 lbs at last count!! Wow!! You can REALLY see a difference. The proof is in the pudding, folks! No matter where you are, you can do it! Thanks Kayla!

And of course, I already mentioned Paula! I tried to pick other blogs that weren't super popular so you can all get some new reading material!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Goal Reached- The Boots with the Fur!

I have always loved knee-high boots. I used to be able to wear them too, until I got fat. I've always had meaty calves, especially after my surgeries (which happened when I was 13-18) I spent a lot of time favoring my bad ankle by putting all the weight and stress on my right leg, hence my left calf is all fat and no muscle and my right calf is all muscle and some fat (especially now heh)

One of my inspirations for getting thin was so I could dress up in short skirts and knee high boots. Think Cake's "Short Skirt/Long Jacket" song (love it!) and the Nanny (also love it!)

Last year I thought I would try my luck finding a pair of boots that would fit my fat legs. If the tops would just stretch, I thought, then I could wear them. Well, I never found any that would zip up all the way needless to say, and I went home very disappointed. I did buy a pair of biker boots that came up mid calf and even those wouldn't zip up all the way. :(

I was not a very happy camper. I would curse boots and cry and feel hopeless, then I'd go to McDonald's and get 2 10-piece nuggets and sweet and sour sauce and feel sorry for myself.

Yesterday, though, was a magical day for me. Hubby got reimbursed for the money we spent at the doctor for my ear ache, and that money is "free money" not attached to bills or anything, so naturally I decided I wanted to go shopping. I wanted some new clothes because the seasons are changing and I don't have many I like anymore.

We go to the store and wander around I found a couple cute shirts that I loved- then I saw that they had boots out already! Yay boots! I thought, maybe if I just try some on to see how many more inches I have to lose on my calves, I can get them by winter. I'll work really really hard!

I found a pair of awesome boots but didn't think they would fit. I was looking at them longingly. So pretty. Do I dare? I put them back in the box but hubby said try them on. "What if they don't fit?" I asked. "They will." he said.

So I tried them on and lo and behold, they ACTUALLY fit. I got to zip them up and everything! They were comfy! They are wedged heels but not very tall so it doesn't even feel like a wedge. They have buckles and straps and they are faux-fur lined! Squeal! Everything I love in one awesome boot! The price tag was a little on the expensive side ($40) but I wasn't going to risk these boots being gone the next time I had some cash to spend.

Okay okay you've read enough, time to look at me! (I'm feeling modest today, I swear)

Arent they beautiful!

My gams are looking better, now that I think about it ;)


I can go all "Xena Warrior Princess" and roll it down with the fur sticking out

I am so glad hubby made me try them on.

A little goal of mine was reached today- to be able to wear boots this fall/winter :)

Also here's a little word cloud of what is on my blog. Kind of funny really, the big words are the one's used most often :)

Wordle: HTMLN

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Day 17

Well it is day 17 now kiddos.

It's been an interesting journey so far. I started out all gung-ho: Exercise every day, get on top of my apartment chores, be clean and happy, lose some weight, buy new clothes yada yada yada I had all of these plans in my head.

I secretly hoped I would lose 15 lbs in a month (laughable)
I secretly hoped that I would be able to fit into my new jeans I bought that are waaay too small.

But I am secretly pleased that I've even lost any weight, that I've stayed under 1400 calories for most of my days (minus the family get together) and I noticed I definitely can't eat as much as I used to. Though I'm sure if I tried I could get back to where I was before *grumble*

I am having a harder time today than usual because my pantry/freezer is getting rather skint and its hard to find something to eat that isn't ramen. Unfortunately I'm broke as a joke, and I have 2 more days until hubby gets paid before I can go grocery shopping. The good news is though, being poor is definitely the best diet plan :) can't eat what you don't have!

My tummy is a grumblin' luckily I have a few chicken breasts left. I have already started day dreaming about what I will buy at the store this week hehe! The weather was cooler last week and I had thought about making chili but now it's gotten hotter, and next week is looking much of the same so far. I guess chili will have to hold off.

I've also been craving spinach. I blame Alexia at My Wicked Wicked Ways She's been tweeting about eating spinach lately and it's got me drooling. I will have to pick up a bag on Friday when I am able to go grocery shopping. I'm having day dreams of spinach salads, chicken and spinach alfredo over whole grain pasta, lunch meat sandwiches with spinach.... spinach and artichoke dip with toasted pita chips...