Wednesday, August 31, 2011

What's New Wednesday

I think I might try something here... it's not an official thing yet, but we'll see how it goes.

What's New Wednesday. If it becomes a thing, it will get its own graphic.

Anyway


1. Brian felt the baby kick for the FIRST time (super early) this morning!! 

We'd be trying to catch the baby kicking for a week or two but every time that he went to put his hand on my bump, the baby stubbornly went quiet. For hours, if need be. I know, what a little brat. Brian was super bummed out. But stupid early this morning, around 3 am, he grabbed my belly for the heck of it and his eyes lit up. "Was that a kick?"

Yes! Yes it was!

2. I sold our bikes on Craigslist. Individually, for $40 each.

We have a man coming over NOW to look at the men's bike and buy it, and a lady coming over Saturday morning to buy the lady's bike. I'm so happy!!

3. I scrubbed a toilet.


Really. I did. And it looks really nice. I used a bit of bleach and a brush and scrubbed all the surfaces and wiped them down. The toilet looks fantastic. 




So that concludes the first ever (and possibly weekly) What's New Wednesday. 


What's new with you?

Twenty Two

Twenty two weeks pregnant.

5 and a half months.

holy shit.

where does time fly? Seems like only yesterday I was panicking that I was becoming a breeder and that I had no idea how to take care of a baby and GOOD GOD what is that thing coming out of that woman's vagina?!

Oh wait.

That was yesterday.

Okay.

But as I am getting on in the pregnancy and starting to swell in the belly region, I thought it would be a great idea to take pictures of my baby bump.

Except uh... I lost my camera charger. And I can't find it anywhere. And the shitty camera only uses one type of battery and it's only chargeable by this one charger... it's crap. I know.

So I did the next best thing. I ordered a new one off of ebay! ($6, free shipping!)  and it should be here by Saturday. So I'll upload some baby bump pics then.

Also- I got my first baby shower gift from my friend in FL. Tina, I love you so much. Thanks for the gift. You rock my bunny slippers off. We got it put together in no time flat and it's chilling out in the living room right now. I gotta figure out what I am going to do with all the computer stuff in the office-turned-nursery

I'm thinking of dismantling my dining table (because who eats at a table??) then putting the desks in the dining area. Then I could watch my 50" TV while I work on my 19" PC and not have to squint at my 10" laptop... hmm...

Anyway, pics on Saturday.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Sleep and Food Baby

I've had an awful time sleeping during this pregnancy. I just can't get comfortable.

Before my pregnancy, I slept on my stomach. In the weirdest position possible. Ready? Ok. Lay on your stomach with your head turned to the left. Now take your right arm and place it under your pillow, but straight out. Take your left arm and bend at the elbow 90 degrees. Place on top of pillow. Take your left leg and bend at 90 degrees- take up as much of the bed as possible. While doing that you may notice you have to kind of roll up on your hip.

When you wake up your right hand will be so cold that it will feel dead, but otherwise, it was a very good night's sleep. Now do this for 20 years.

So you can kind of see my problem... I sleep in the most ineffective baby carrying position! The second most comfortable position for me is on my back... another baby no no. I woke up yesterday in a panic because I had rolled over onto my stomach and had horrible thoughts/semi-dreams that I had burst my belly and there was a whole lot of blood and a dead baby under me! It really freaked me out! I just had to know if I was freaking out over nothing, or if I was being a horrible mother. What did I do?

I Googled it.

 Is it okay to sleep on your stomach during pregnancy?

Shockingly- YES! It is okay! The major problem with laying on your back is restricting blood flow... you don't have that issue if you are laying on your stomach. Can't hurt the baby, it's too well protected. It's going to get uncomfortable for mom long before it could ever hurt the baby, experts say. 

I slept so well last night.

Partially because of that

And partially because of the mountain of food I ingested.

I made spaghetti. I had a big bowl. It was soooo good. 2 pieces of garlic toast w/ cheese to go along side. Soooo good.


You know when you eat a lot of food and you are full to capacity- you kind of get that stitch in your side? Kind of like you went running for a while, except the reason for getting it was completely unhealthy? Yeah, I got that last night. And woke up with it this morning. Still got it, 14 hours later. I'm wondering if it's partially heart burn (lots of garlic last night) and a little extra gas because, well, things are getting cramped in my belly. My stomach is getting shoved up into my lungs, and my intestines took the place of my stomach, and my baby somehow wedged between them. It could also be some genuine soreness from doing prenatal yoga yesterday, I had never done yoga (except on Wii Fit) and we did a lot of bending to the sides, and I felt something kind of 'pop'. But nothing alarming- kind of like cracking your knuckles.

I don't know. I have no desire to eat yet, so I guess I am still somewhat full. I know that I do actually eat a lot less now that I am pregnant and my formerly normal portion sizes are huge now. I was worried that because I ate so much I might be getting fat again. Brian told me no, I am not. I used to eat all the time (ah so he noticed) and now I hardly eat at all. In fact, he kind of has to remind me to eat.... because I just don't think about it until I get all shaky and light headed.

I'm off to play some more Sims 3... I'm really getting into it again. I can't wait until I am able to buy more of the expansion packs.


Monday, August 29, 2011

Today I

-got 400 text messages from my mom asking me how to sell on Craigslist before I was even awake.
-was about to get in shower then realized if I didn't eat NOW I would probably go Godzilla on someone.
-ate Aunt Jemima french toast and sausage, drowned in syrup, naked in the kitchen.
-took a shower and shaved, but only the front side of my legs, as it was too hard to get the back.
-immediately had to throw on clothes and run outside as the dog was about to shit on the floor in front of me
-tried not to look like a hot mess as cute neighbor boy walked by taking out his trash
-failed.
-listed mom's shit on craigslist
-listed my own shit on craigslist
-was under the impression that I needed to run to my mom's to pick up her shit for craigslist
-was corrected by mom that no, I did not, in fact, need to go over today
-was relieved.
-couldn't find my deodorant (think it's in Brian's car??) so used his.
-contemplated on what to make company for dinner on Saturday. Only came up with dessert.
-contemplated making said dessert today
-realized that was probably a bad idea
-put on hokey pregnant yoga dvd streamed from Netflix
-sat there watching it.
-got off my lazy ass to do it
-did 15 minutes of the 45
-played the Sims 3
-ignored phone calls.
-did a complete load of laundry, start to finish!


See, my day was so busy!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

What I Want Vs What I Need

As my pregnant belly swells and it becomes more and more obvious that I have trouble doing just about everything, I decided to make a list of things I want to do and what I need to do still.

Then I broke down the tasks into more manageable bite sized morsels.

I get overwhelmed very easily, especially when it comes to cleaning. I thought if I listed things that needed tackling and then broke everything down, it would become much more manageable.

Things I need to do:

1. Clean our bedroom
-Do all the laundry
-Move the bikes
-Put the crib together
-Clean the walk in closet

2. Clean the bathrooms
-Scrub toilet
-Scrub tub
-Sweep
-Clean mirrors/sink

3. Clean the kitchen
-Dishes
-Counters
-Scrub stove/oven
-Clean pantry
-Scrub freezer/fridge

*4. Transform 2nd Bedroom
-Move the office furniture
-Paint the nursery
-Bring in all the baby stuff.

*this won't be done until after the baby shower(s)


Then there are things that I want to do, but just don't seem to have the energy or the gumption to do at all. Like ride my recumbent bike. Crochet my baby blanket. Make more YouTube videos. Walk the dog.
Sell some stuff.

This too, will be broken down, but rather, into time chunks. 15 minutes each. I can do that for 15 minutes!

It's so hard to find the motivation especially now but I am going to do it damnit! At the end of the day, I want to look at what I've done and said "I gave it my all" no matter how big or small the task was.

And I am going to do it.


Saturday, August 27, 2011

Hurray!I'm off

Brian's been knocking out commissions left and right lately and finished up one today. We got paid for it and I decided that- hey! we need groceries.

It's true. We had ravioli, popcorn, and ramen in the cupboard and nothing at all in the fridge.

I asked Brian what he wanted for dinner this week... always a bad idea since he never knows.

"Spaghetti!" came the answer. I asked him what else, but he said that he wanted to eat spaghetti all week. Fair enough. I love big easy meals like that.... chili, chicken and noodles, spaghetti, anything I can make a huuuuge batch of and eat for days on end = win!

But he eventually came up with some more ideas. We checked the store ads and found out we were smack dab in the middle of a 10/$10 mix and match (11th item free)... and a lot of delicious things were on sale. 2 liters of soda? We got 11! Hamburger Helper, Chicken helper, spaghetti sauce (score!), tacos, ground beef, chicken, cheese, Stouffer's pizzas, garlic bread, sausage, biscuits.... every thing we put in our cart was on sale! Not all qualified for the 10 for $10 but it came in handy!

Tonight we are having bone in center cut pork chops with macaroni and cheese.... another one of his suggestions. Good call.

I'm off to finish dinner now!

Friday, August 26, 2011

Optimistic

Optimism is a strange thing for me. Despite being a huge worry wart, I think I am rather optimistic. At least, I have hope. But there are times when I feel like nothing will ever go right again, I wonder if I am just a pessimist? I don't like being pessimistic in the slightest, it's no fun.

I try to always look on the bright side of things. I really do.

I also tend to over think things and come up with elaborate plans. I like "grand schemes," plans that sound delightfully elaborate and exciting. I tend to dream big....

But the downside is, those things often fail and when they do, I fall. I fall hard.

I've embraced two new mottos.

I did my best. Give 100% of myself every day. No regrets. It's not hard to let go of regrets since I have virtually none... but it is more challenging to give 100%. Work as much as I can. Put all my effort into it. Do as much as I can around the house... not half assed. You know... just pick a task no matter how big or small and just do it 100%. Feel good about that. And then feed off of it.

Keep it simple, Stupid. Ah, an oldie but a goody. I'm hoping that the simpler I keep things, the simpler things will be. Makes sense right? Trying not to make mountains out of mole hills, so to speak. I'm approaching this in every aspect. Bills, housework, working, baby stuff, you know... just keeping it real, keeping it old school, and keeping it simple.

Well that's my self reflection for the day. I've picked my brain and my nose for long enough. I'll see you all later.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

International Super Spy

I've been playing the Sims 3 and am making a sim version of myself and Brian (like usual!) but this time I picked outrageous lifetime wishes, something that would not happen in our real lives. I am going to be an international super spy! And Brian? Astronaut.

Why is he an astronaut? He has been watching "ancient aliens" siiiiigh

but it's okay

I just pretend that I am a super spy and that I am taking down big time mob bosses, attending fancy parties, and testing out secret technology... and getting it all done in time to come home, make dinner, and play with my kids.

Yeahhhh....

Super mom.

Yeah that's just what I've been up to.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

A Conversation with Dad

Well, we went to pick up the crib today. The lady was a very sweet lady and had everything all ready to go when we got there and the whole lot of it fit in the back of Brian's car. Sweet. It's a real wooden crib. It's got a drop side. Which I didn't know about. But it's cool. I kind of wanted one of those anyway. Who am I kidding, I just wanted a freakin' bed. I was willing to buy just about anything as long as it was sturdy.

So then we get it home and Brian starts putting it together. Men are great at putting things together. He was tossing around wrenches and screwdrivers yelling "DAMMIT!!" at the top of his lungs. Very amusing. It was so hot out today 90 degrees with 100% humidity. I helped carry the crib up the three flights of stairs and I almost passed out. I was not allowed to help. But that's being pregnant in summer, so I put my feet up and tried to Google the model number for assembly instructions. Except I can't find the model number. I found the customer service number.

We decided its best to wait until tomorrow on his day off to tackle this project any further. Brian said I can call them tomorrow and see if they can't help us locate it.
The crib? Looks amazing, even half way put together.

Then we get a call from his dad. He and his mom are out shopping and saw this beautiful, 100% cherry wood convertible crib. They call us. "Do you want this crib?" Uhhhh......

Brian: Sorry we just bought one today.
Dad: Oh, where at?
Brian: Online, some lady in town was selling it.
Dad: Is it a convertible bed?
Brian: No it's just a regular one that has the sliding side.
Dad: ....Those are illegal.
Brian: What?
Dad: Yeah, they've been banned in the United States and it's illegal to sell them even at garage sales....
Brian, to me: He said it's illegal.
Me: What? *Googles it* Damn, it is.
Dad: Do you want us to buy this crib for you anyway?
Brian: No, it's okay. We just won't ever drop the side.
Dad: Yeah there were only like 5 reported incidents in the United States.
Me: It says here that it's not banned from use, just from selling them.
Brian: Yeah we're okay. Thanks anyway though. That sounds like a nice crib
Dad: We can still get it for you and you can have a toddler bed later
Brian: We don't need another crib, we just got one.
Dad: But, as a toddler bed?
Brian: We really appreciate the offer but we don't have the room for 2 cribs, especially since we are only having one baby.
Me: ???
Brian: We love that you guys want to buy us stuff, so I'll send you a link to our baby registry and you guys can look over that if you want.
Dad: Do you need help putting the crib together?
Brian: Not really. I just don't want to mess with it before I go to work. I'll do it tomorrow.
Dad: Oh. You have to work today? If you were off I'd come over. Today's my only day off.
Brian: Yeah we Googled the instructions so we will be fine. (Not exactly...)
Me: ???

I'm just tickled... they offered to buy us a cradle too, but I don't want a cradle. "Where will the baby sleep???" In the crib. "I thought you were having the baby in your room?" Mhm. That's where the crib is going.

It's sweet they are trying to help now. Brian said he'd rather have the cash that they were going to drop on the crib instead of the crib itself. I laughed pretty hard about that! No joke, who doesn't like cash? But we gave them our registry link and they can look over what we still need on there.
I'm not mad, I think it's hilarious they wanted that crib so badly they were trying to persuade us to let them get it. I saw that crib on Craigslist, and it was *not* cheap. So I can see why Brian just preferred cash and I said well let's just let them buy something from our registry. Maybe they'll buy the stroller and the changing table or something. (For reference? The stroller, the changing table, and the baby swing are still less than what they would have paid for that crib.)

All of that fun exhausted me so I just took a nap! I wasn't really meaning to, I turned on Mythbusters and then next thing I knew, I was asleep and it was over.

I dreamed about the crib and how they bought it for us anyway, and that we were going to use it because they were getting all offended we kept refusing it, and that we would sell the other one online (even though it's banned?) and we'd be okay...then we drove off the road into the river... then a plate of fresh, delicious chocolate chips cookies appeared and I ate them all. I woke up wiping my mouth. No cookies. Damn.

Personally, I always liked the drop side. Yeah, there is a risk with them, but there is a risk of something in everything, right? It's impossible to live in a sterile bubble world, and everyone else had drop sides and we all turned out fine. I think.

What Does This Pregnant Woman do in Her Spare Time?

....Make YouTube videos of course! I made a "Let's Play" of the Sims 3 Ambitions.

Here's the first episode. Warning: strong language. But you guys are used to that here, aren't you? :P




There's only the one episode up right now, but that will soon change.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Anxiety over baby

Well I have gone and done it. Finally had my first real panic attack where I am worrying about absolutely nothing.

I've been pretty laid back so far during this pregnancy. How can we afford this baby? We'll manage. What happens if I can't deliver naturally? We'll manage.

You know, things that most moms worry about and I just seem to let it go... any way... I was looking things up online and reading birth stories. I like to read them so I can kind of figure out what's normal and what is a true emergency, and it turns out that not a lot of things are actual emergencies. So helpful.

Then I found an article on identifying when labor will start, and what the stages are etc, and so forth. I read the whole article, which was all very informative, and then I freaked the EFF out.

Normally I can process medical/anatomical articles really well. Pictures don't really both me. I am pretty good at looking at it objectively... but not today, I guess. I must be having a pregnant day, because I got very upset when Brian was talking over a YouTube video I was watching on making home made pancakes. Nothing particularly important, but it really bothered me in the moment.

It's been a few hours since I have read the article and I've processed the information, and now I am fine. I just seemed to be very overwhelmed at the time.

I think it's because it's hitting home. We are buying a crib on Wednesday. (A great deal, $50 for the crib and mattress, and sheets!) so I think it's just a little anxiety over that.

Nothing to worry about. Now I need a nap. I'm out of caffeine for the day and still have a headache so I am going to lay down and pray to who ever is listening that my head will stop. hurting. now.


Sunday, August 21, 2011

Strongbow's

We went to Valparaiso today to visit Brian's grandparents. I always enjoy visiting them. They made reservations at Strongbow's for lunch. I absolutely love this restaurant. The food is always delicious and the bakery? To die for!

It was my first time experiencing the lunch menu and I got an Italian Beef sandwich with au jus on freshly baked bread from their bakery. Brian got a chicken bacon club on a spinach wrap with ranch. Grandma and Grandpa each got a turkey sandwich.

After lunch was over, the waitress asked if we wanted dessert. We started to say no thank you, we were full, but Grandma insisted we try something. We each got a slice of their delicious cheesecake.

I've never been one to say a dessert is "too rich".

But this cheesecake was just that. Delicious, huge, thick slice of creamy cheesecake... but it was just too rich. I got about half way through mine and Brian half way through his. Grandma? Finished hers. :) She really loves their cheese cake!

I was half tempted to bring a pie home!

After we had a delicious lunch (I only finished half my sandwich and brought the other half home- it was just as delicious warmed up in the microwave several hours later!)

Not Strongbow Inn's but close 

I'm pretty sure it was a sour cream based cheese cake, which I never had, but it was so rich, creamy, and way too delicious.

I maaaay have to try and make one.



Friday, August 19, 2011

Baby Shi-- I mean, Treasures

Picking out baby shit treasures is hard work. I mean, there are only 40,000 themes to choose from. And none of them are "animals in space".

There is a rocket one, but it's 4 pieces and is $160. No thanks.
There is a rocket furniture set and bedding theme. For $1300. WTF. No-freaking-way.

There is a star theme. But it's baby blue and espresso. 13 pieces for $130. Decent.
There are lots of animal themes. Depending on how many pieces in the set, they range from $60-140

I was about to say screw it and just go for Winnie the Pooh, because who doesn't love Pooh Bear (I'm a huge Eeyore fan, by the way)

I was getting very frustrated with picking out a theme because Brian? Notoriously hard to pick a design that pleases him. This is part of the problem living with an artist. Never pleased. He's a known perfectionist.

But then we found something we both agreed on (today!) and it's an ocean theme. Animals under the Sea.

The colors are baby blue and sea foam green. A nice in between color for the walls is turquoise (a light one)
Brian is also going to hand paint snorkeling people and animals on the walls too. He wants to do it on paper, and then paint them and cut them out so we can take them with us when we move. I'm thinking butcher paper and acrylics? Is that doable (ie, cheap and practical enough to work?)

It's hard to get Brian to pick a theme he likes that I like too. To be honest, I pretty much like them all and he pretty much doesn't like any of them, so it is a challenge. About furniture and baby gear, etc, he's really laid back. I can say "hey this got good reviews, and is pretty affordable." He says "ok cool."

I got to get these registries sorted out so that we can actually get things from the shower :) lol

Wee Registries!

Well it's official. My first baby shower is September 24th! I say "first" because we are actually having 3. One for my family, one for his family, and one for our friends, due to scheduling conflicts.

My mom's shower is the first one and that's only a short month away. Which meaaaaans I really need to get my registries sorted!!

The great thing about my family though, is every one is computer literate, so that everyone can just buy crap online and not have to go out of their respective caves. Did I mention my family's not very social?

So now I am trying to find things space related ...

I found some really nice bedding with stars on it. I have deleted everything off the two registries and printed off a list and just "started over" because as I was switching back and forth between the two, I noticed I had a lot of the same things on both lists.

So I'll just start from scratch.

I already know a couple of my gifts- one is a rocking chair my mom picked up at a garage sale. Another is my dresser from my room growing up. I'm going to have Brian sand it down and paint it a different color. Maybe with some different hardware on the drawers. I don't know. But it's fun.

Picking out paint samples. Finding stick on stars and planets. It's getting to that fun part! Decorating! I still got to move everything out of the computer room and turn it into a nursery... I have a recliner, 2 desks, 2 chairs and 2 computers, as well as an exercise bike I gotta figure out where this will all go.

But for now, I'm gloriously window shopping. I'm having so much fun looking at baby stuff.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Animals in SPAAACE!

Brian is your typical guy in that he likes science fiction, monkeys, and pretty much anything cheesy. In fact, he wants to paint the baby's room in- get this- a space theme.

No surprise! The boy does like his space ships and robots.

But I wanted zoo animals. Especially giraffes.

So now he wants to paint it all like baby animals in space. Not wearing space suits, just helmets. 

How freaking cool is that?? 

I told him that we even had to do the lettering like they do on cheesy movies and posters. 

Animals in SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!

So that's the new theme, I guess. 

Can't you just picture an alligator, floating in the vacuum of space, with just a big, oblong helmet on his head? Yeah, me too. 


Roller Coaster

They say pregnant women are crazy with a capital C. One minute all sweetness and sugar, the next ready to rip your head off with the only thing handy (which happens to be a pencil sharpener).

I don't think that this is necessarily true.

I don't fly off the handle any more than I used to. (They gave me medicine for that!)

I do cry a lot more. At the most random times. It feels a lot like depression to me.

I have a hard time getting out of my funk once I get in them.

Even ducks don't make me laugh... at least right away.

Speaking of ducks....

We are naming our son Drake.

Which means... uhm... DUCK.

My dog has a giant rubber green duck that he plays with and we call it Duck Duck.

Now we've started teasing, calling it Drake Drake.

See what I mean? One minute I'm talking depression, the next I'm giggling over ducks.

Ah, I'm just going to go lay down for a bit. And dream about ducks. While Max eats the face off of his.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Hello My Baby- The Gender REVEAL!!

Today was the day. Getting ready to see my child for the first time, in black and white. Hopefully, I'll see it in technicolor soon enough!

Our appointment was god awful early. I don't know how any one regularly gets up before noon. I suppose this is part of being a work at home (soon to be) mom because I tend to work the late shifts, so I'm always up stupid late anyway. This was a test of will (and caffeine)

The day started off with lots of bathroom time. I had to completely empty my bladder and then proceed to fill it back up (yeah, I don't get that logic either) to the point where I was, and I quote the nurse, "really full but not quite uncomfortable". Uh, it's always uncomfortable. Anyway, so we had to get there a little early to fill out some extra paperwork (we changed insurances, remember?) and then we waited for the technician. Now I got a slip of paper that said

The technician will not be able to answer ANY questions

And this, I understand. It's the doctor's job to diagnose any potential problems. But I mean, they couldn't even tell us whether or not we are having a boy/girl/multiples/squids?

So they slap some jelly on me.

It's the moment of truth. The moment where I see my unborn child for the first time. I have been looking forward to this exact moment since we found out we were expecting. I was happy with the Doppler and hearing the heartbeat, but here is the first glimpse (no matter how small, or pixelated) of my child. I am beyond ecstatic. I know that there is a good chance I won't be able to decipher what the heck is going on on the screen. I warned Brian last night that this was my moment. That this is what I have been waiting for. That if he doesn't LOOK or ACT excited, he is going to deeply hurt my feelings. (for the record, he was excited about the heartbeat, but I didn't see him LOOK or ACT excited and it pissed me off)

Deep breaths everyone. Breathe in, breathe out.

This shit is about to get real.


It's hard to see, but that is a scrotum and a tiny little baby winky.

Winky again!




The baby was swimming around so much that the tech had trouble getting pictures for a while! Brian got a little motion sickness from the whole experience hehe poor thing. We found out Baby F is definitely a boy!! We have it confirmed on two different pics/angles, and we saw the umbilical cord in color, so we know for sure that we are having a boy.

Praise the heavens. Now I can get my tubes tied :P I'm kidding. It was so amazing. Our technician was a blast to have. She was so smart and she explained to us everything, and guess what? She answered questions. So I was happy!!

Everyone say hello to Drake :) I'm 21 weeks along today and my due date is not far off from the initial one I was given. December 29th, 2011. I'm doing great, the baby is doing great, and even Brian is doing great! His mom was a little disappointed with the fact we are having a boy (she wanted a girl so bad) but I'm sure she will get over it eventually. My side? Happy it's a boy. Happier he's healthy!

Hurray!!

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Super Supportive

My husband has always been incredibly supportive. That much should be obvious from the name of this blog, He Took My Last Name. It was a joke at first, suggesting it, but he really liked the idea, and we did it. It was awesome.

But aside from choosing a cooler moniker, Brian is more than willing to hear out all of my baby worries, thoughts, and "plans". I don't really have any plans. Except that I am going to pump breast milk for at least 12 months, my child is getting vaccinated, and I'll be damned if I am delivering sans epidural.

I told him how some parents put their newborns on schedules, like you would bringing a new puppy home. He stared at me like I had sprouted a second head. He said that babies shouldn't be on schedules, because they can't grasp the concept yet. I could not agree more. I think it's silly. He also said vaccines are the only reason any of us are alive today. True again, in my opinion.

He has complimented me more times than I can count in the last 20 weeks than he has our entire relationship to date (and, for reference? Pre-preggers, I got LOTS of compliments.)

Case in point: We are headed home from the store and I notice that I am smelly. Like onions. Pleasant. But nothing new, I've always had onion-BO. I start to mention that I probably need more deodorant because I smell.... and he interrupted me!

Me: I smell like onions. I need more deodor---
Him: No you don't! You smell like angels!
Me: Like an angel? Haha, okay.
Him: Angels and sunshine.

He also gets angry at me if I attempt to bend over for any reason. "STOP IT!" He even yelled it once. It was pretty surprising. I've never been told "no" by him. Now that's all I hear. No don't do this. No don't worry I've got it. Etc, etc.

In fact, ever since I felt the baby first move, he has been bending over backwards for me. Asking me if I need anything? Am I okay? How am I feeling? It's been very difficult to not take complete advantage of his sweet nature. Yeah, I'm okay, but ice cream and cookies would make my life so much better... not that I haven't been eating ice cream. I have. A lot. I'm just sayin'... it's hard not to take complete advantage of this.

I asked him how he felt about changing diapers. "I already pick up dog shit in a bag. Outside. In the rain. At least it will be my own child's." Good point.
I asked him how he felt that he won't get to play with my fun bags for a while (aka boobies) "I'd rather you use them for what they were made for. Besides, I like your butt more."
I asked him what he was nervous about when the baby got home. "Nothing really, I'm still thinking this is all a dream."

He's not worried at all about being a dad. Which is so great. I know that our kid is only probably going to be half as messed up if it were just me parenting. Brian is a fantastic rock, one who keeps me calm in the most intense situations. I can't think of anyone else I'd rather have a baby with. Actually, before Brian, I never even wanted kids. So really, this is all his fault.

But I've never been happier.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Busy Days Ahead

Tomorrow I'm going to visit my parents. My mom gave me her xbox to sell for her but now wants it back. I think she's going through withdrawal.

I go to the doctor for an ultrasound and check up on Wednesday at 9 am. I'll be finding out for sure if I am having a baby or not.

Brian is going to get his hair cut at his aunt's salon on Thursday. We are taking my car in again and getting it looked at on Thursday as well.

We are going out of town on Saturday to visit his grandparents in Valparaiso. I am excited. Grandma and Grandpa S adore me! How could they not? :P

I'm getting my hair done on the following Tuesday. I have to drive by myself. I know. I'm scared too.

I'm pretty sure that I will get pictures from the ultrasound. And I am pretty sure that I am going to stick them in a frame and carry them around and show them to his aunt and cousin at the salon. And I am pretty sure that I am going to be making copies to send to my Granny in Tennessee and his parents and grandparents, and my parents too (if they want them, that is)

I'm going to have to look again at my registries and make sure that I have everything I want/need on there. I definitely want a baby book and I definitely need a lot of shit, so we will see. In the meantime though, I'm going to be reading some more pregnancy blogs. I found a few I really like and a few I don't really care too much for. Sometimes I think mommy blogs are really fake and I like the ones that are real. You know, where they are funny and filled with typos and stuff. Kind of like my blog, I guess.

Oh Baby! Furniture Shopping and Baby In Utero

Well I am officially looking for baby furniture hard core! You would not believe the amount of hours I've spent scouring the internet and local ads for baby furniture.

I found a nice second hand set that someone listed on Craigslist for $45 but, it's probably sold by now. I called the owner and they said that they had someone cancel on the sale, did I want to come look today? I said I did and then they told us, well, we just had another offer, so if they cancel on us, we will let you know. Damn.

It was a nice set too, and one of those "fancy" convertible cribs. It came with a mattress, even. And all the hardware! So whoever gets it is very lucky to say the least. I hope it goes to a family who really needed it.

I made a list of "brand new" cribs that I wanted too. The most I'd ever spend on a crib would be $150 and that is only if it's a convertible crib. Wal-Mart had some really nice ones for $120-160 that fit the bill. Free shipping to the store, too.

$120- converts from crib to toddler/daybed

$140 converts from crib to toddler/daybed. This is my fav. And the most expensive. Go figure.


I found another new one that was $100 and it was a convertible crib and it got great reviews, also from Wal-Mart. I read all the reviews too, and the negative ones were like "damaged during shipping to home" so it wasn't a complaint on the quality of the item.

This one converts to a toddler bed too! Hurray! Brian thinks this one is ugly :(


I want to get a crib before the babe arrives, because I don't really need a stroller if I can use one of those baby wearing carriers (at least for a while) so that is next up on my to buy list. I'm scouring Craigslist every day for any new additions.

Mom and Gamma: Seriously, if you can find one, BUY IT!! I will pay you back. I've got a baby fund going now, so I'm stuffing away any extra money I can into a baby bank and using it to buy a crib/mattress/whatever. And I have the crib/mattress listed on my registry, for that slim hope that someone will just buy us one :)

Brian is getting super excited about the baby too! He's really getting into looking at baby furniture and stuff with me. I think it's because I felt the baby kick for the first time the other night. He said that it seems real to him now. The first signs of a new life (wait... wasn't that the heartbeat?!) I can't blame him though, for not thinking it's really happening to us. After all, I hardly believe it either! It's so sweet how he is acting! I get loads more hugs and kisses, and even the baby bump gets hugs and kisses too. Aww! Not to mention all the extra attention I am getting. "Are you ok? Do you want/need anything?"

I'm officially 20 weeks (by the last menstrual period) and 18 weeks (by the actual conception date) I'm half way through the pregnancy now, so here is what the baby looks like this week!
Taken from Babycenter.com. I totally look like that too.
Not sure why it had to point out where the vagina was, I'm pretty sure I knew where that was located. Other weird points of interest? Baby skin and baby bowels. Uh.. yeah I think that comes standard on all babies. Or is it just me? (For reference, it's letting you know that baby's bowels are there and working, but are still in stasis. Also its covered in a cheesy wax.)

This week, Baby is the length of a banana! Weighing in at 10.5 ounces, it's 66% of a pound! Weee! The little bugger has been kicking and swimming, doing flips and shit all day today (and yesterday). In fact, I can pretty much tell you that any time I'm sitting still for more than 15 minutes, it starts kicking hard. Like, "GET UP MOM!" A preview of my life to come.

And just for kicks and giggles (like the baby is doing to me right now) here is what fraternal twins look like in the womb. I'm pretty sure we're only having one, but you never know! I haven't been to an ultra sound yet (next month!) so anything can happen.

Also taken from Babycenter.com 
We've picked out the final baby names too, one for a boy and one for a girl, even though we are pretty sure it's a girl. Or a boy. It's one or the other. 

Alexis Nicole for a girl
Drake Lee for a boy

My parents have also picked out their names! Mom is Grandma Boo and Dad is Grandpa Boo! LOL :) 

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Four Years Ago

Four Years Ago Today

I met the love of my life. I didn't know it at the time. And if you had told me that "in four years, you'll be married and have a baby on the way." I would have laughed at you and said that you were crazy.

It started Tuesday, August 14th, 2007.

I was working in the library. He finally asked me out.

I was so poor. I had $12 in my bank account.

He was poor. I don't know how much he had. Probably $12.

We went to Wendy's, where I got a Jr Bacon Cheeseburger and a small Cherry Coke.

We talked for hours. Went to Border's Bookstore and talked and walked for hours more.

Then I mentioned I had the complete second season of the animated series, The Tick, and asked him if he wanted to watch it with me sometime? He invited me back to his apartment- which was just down the road from Border's and I accepted. I thought for sure this was a bad idea- here I am following a man I know almost nothing about- who seems nice, like serial killers seem nice, thinking I was going to die today... I know I'm a little paranoid.

I shoved down my inner doubts, after all he was cute and sweet, so that's all I cared about.

We arrived at his apartment. He said the living room is a no-go, we have to watch it in his room. Red flag. Is he going... to try and get in my pants? Am I going to let him? (Turns out, he lived with a nazi roommate who HATED having people over in the living room, and not a ploy to get in my pants.)

We sat on his twin bed and watched The Tick. Laughed. Our hands barely touching (just the pinky fingers) and the air was charged with tension. Finally we grabbed hands. I was beside myself. If just holding his hand felt *this good*, what would kissing him felt like? I was light headed and woozy from the thought. Then he leaned over and kissed me.

Heaven. Dear God, I had died and gone to Heaven in one simple kiss.

To be honest, I never thought we would be anything serious. After all, I started flirting with him because he was cute, and I wanted to have sex with him. But it turned out to be so much more. This was the first man I fell in love with, the first man I ever said 'I love you' to.

If you told me that a year later, we'd be engaged, I would have laughed at you and said you were crazy.

When he asked me on Thursday, August 14th, 2008 if I would marry him, I couldn't even answer. I was in tears. No words came out of my mouth. He pulled out the most beautiful ring I had ever seen (though I did dream about it) and slipped it on my finger as I managed to croak out "Are you sure?"  When he said he was sure I just nodded enthusiastically, because I couldn't talk any more.

May 15th, 2009 we got married. Best day of my life. So far.

April 29th, 2011 we found out we were expecting our first child. Simultaneously the best day of my life, and the most scary.

August 14th, 2011 Celebrating 4 wonderful years with the man I love. Best day of my life, to date.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

It's Not Gas

Seriously- it's the last day for the giveaway! So GO ENTER IT NOW!!

Early this morning- about 4:30 am or so- I'm laying in bed trying to get comfortable when I feel this little fluttery feeling. I think its gas. I pay no attention to it.

A few minutes later, I feel it again. I start thinking, what did I eat today? I don't feel very gassy or bloated... and pay it no mind.

Then it dawns on me. This is the baby kicking! Fluttering! YAY!!

I wake Brian up.

Me: "Baby, the baby's moving!!"
Brian: "That's nice."
Me: "Did you want to feel?"
Brian: "What?"
Me: "THE BABY IS MOVING"
Brian: "Really?"

He put his hand on my tummy, but fell asleep again before it started moving...

It continued to move about for another half hour, in random little spurts.

I couldn't sleep last night. I was so giddy.

I still can't believe it!

Friday, August 12, 2011

That's Hot

So last night, Brian had some friends over. I was trying this new thing with my hair doing soft curls. One of his friends looks at me and says "Wow, nice sex hair." I smile and say thanks, and tell him it's not sex hair. "Either way, it looks hot."

Hahaha. Okay...

I've been wanting a "clamp-less" curling iron. They come with a fancy pants glove for your hand, and you just wrap it around the barrel, but it's $40, so I decided to be smart and save some money and try out a new technique.

You see, I got a heat resistant glove from Sally Beauty Supply ($7) and I use my curling iron in a way it was not intended. Instead of clamping my hair and rolling it around the barrel, I wrap the hair around the barrel using my fingers. It ends up looking a little bit like 


mixed with a little bit of 



and it takes about the same amount of time as it does to regularly curl it. 

So I like it. 

And yeah, it kind of looks like sex hair/bed head... but that just means it looks effortless, right? 

It's not quite like this though... 



I'll need a little more practice to get it to look THAT good. :)

Thursday, August 11, 2011

The Birth Plan

Every pregnancy site I have been to, or magazine I have read, says that you need to make a birth plan, and hand copies of it to your delivering doctor and nurse team so everyone knows your wishes.

So, here's mine. Bear with me.

Preferred Method of Delivery: Natural
Drug-free or Epidural: Epidural
C-section?: If necessary
Induced labor: As of now, no.

And that's it. No water births, or music, or camcorders, or anything like that. I just want it to be as smooth as possible. I say "as of now, no" on induced labor, but if I am still pregnant at Valentine's Day and my baby was due around New Year's, I'm pretty sure that no is going to change to a "Yes! For the love of all that is holy, YES!" simply because I will want this baby OUT of me at that point.

So there is the final plan. I don't think any adjustments will be necessary. And I'm not going to print it off and hand it to my barely-speaks-English doctor or the nursing staff. It's pretty simple. Just give me drugs and I'll be okay.


Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Thankful

Don't forget to enter my giveaway- AND LEAVE A COMMENT- or your entry doesn't count!!

I'm always thankful for everyone in my life, but I am not always thankful for the situations. Today, I decided that I should be thankful for them too, as it's experience at the very least.

I'm thankful for a life with struggles. It makes each new day challenging and keeps me humble.
I'm thankful that I recognize the symptoms of panic attacks and anxiety attacks, and have medication to help combat them.
I'm thankful that I am stronger than I thought I could be.
I'm thankful I'm loved as much as I am.
I'm thankful that I can work


And as an extra "aww" moment, Brian kissed my baby bump before he went to work today.



Tuesday, August 9, 2011

You Look Better Pregnant- Part 2

It's finally sunken in... I am pregnant. I definitely *look* and *feel* pregnant lately. My belly is getting bigger (45 inches around the belly button, whereas it was 38 before) and is the same as my bust... soon I'll be bigger. But I'm not worried about that. Anyway, here are some more little revelations from me and Brian.

Brian: Wow you look really good in that top.
Me: Thanks, it's a maternity top. Do you like it?
Brian: Yeah, it really suits you. You should wear that all the time.
Me: Yeah, I know right? All this time, the right clothes for me were maternity clothes! Screw plus sized, I'm going maternity!

Me: *hitching up my too big maternity pants* Gah, I need a belt for these!
Brian: All this time you were trying to lose weight. I should have knocked you up sooner. You can't even keep your clothes on now!
Me: I think whoever wore these before me was bigger than me, that's all
Brian: No, you've really lost weight. I can tell. Your hips aren't as big. Your face is thinner.
Me: I was just noticing that! I can see my neck muscles again!
Brian: Yeah, baby weight loss program!

Me: *struggling to lean over and get laptop cord* UGGGH
Brian: Stop moving. Let me get it.
Me: No it's okay, I'm just...
Brian: Pregnant. Let me do it.
Me: Okay...
Brian: Don't feel bad. You being pregnant makes me feel like a superhero!


So there it is! You know, I used to worry that people would think I was pregnant when I was fat (uhm, no one would ever have thought that, for sure.) but I am really enjoying being pregnant way more than I ever thought I would.

Don't forget to enter my giveaway!

Saturday, August 6, 2011

~*Giveaway*~ IntelliGender Review & Giveaway!!

I was fortunate enough to receive a gender prediction test from IntelliGender. IntelliGender has developed a test that can predict, 90% accurately, the gender of an unborn child as early as 10 weeks.

I had some trouble getting the test, but only because I was stupid and forgot to give them my street name! Luckily they were very understanding and mailed me out a new test immediately after we figured out what went wrong! Blonde moment! Anyway, they also sent me a product to give away... but more on that later.

When I had first purchased the IntelliGender prediction test for my own amusement a month or two ago, I did not follow the directions completely- and it likely gave me a false result. However this time around, I made sure to follow the instructions completely! I was also asked to do a video review- gulp!- but I managed.

Here is my short video review, complete with narration by Max, my dog!



At first I had a little trouble discerning the results- "Is it green? Is it orange? Am I having a hermaphrodite?- but a quick trip to the IntelliGender website and test results page yielded answers.

Here are some examples for boy and girl results.

A girl result can look  "oil & water" where its orange on the top
and green on the bottom. It's still a girl result though!

A boy result is green or dark/smoky green
My test was a girl result, based on the sample result picture. Which is right in line with Brian's intuition. He kept dreaming of a little girl. Big blue eyes and brown wavy hair, so we will see! I go for an ultrasound next month and will double check my results, but we are both very confident in this result!

OKAY- Enough blabbering! Get to the giveaway already!

~*GIVEAWAY*~

One lucky winner will receive a free IntelliCeuticals New Mom Drops from IntelliGender! They graciously bestowed upon me the item to send directly to you! (Make sure you give me your complete address, street name included! Ha!)


New Mom Rebalancing Drops are designed to help rebalance Mommy's hormonal levels, aid in natural uterine contraction after birth, support healthy production of breast milk, and help healthy digestive performance during the postpartum period*.

The winner will receive this bottle, a $22 value, for free! Please refer to the website for more details and instructions and DO NOT USE while pregnant.

RULES & ENTRY

To be eligible to win this product, you do not need to be pregnant. You can give this to a new mom to be.
It is not recommended to take during pregnancy, or if you are not pregnant to begin with. 
The contest begins today, August 6th, 2011 and ends on August 13th, 2011 at 11:59 PM EST
One lucky winner will be chosen at RANDOM using Random.org's random number generator.

Mandatory Entry! (Earns 1 Entry)

1. You must follow me on Google Friend Connect and leave me a comment that you have done so!
*PLEASE* have an email address either in your comment or on your profile! If I cannot contact
you then another winner will be chosen! 

Bonus Entries! (Earns 1 Additional Entry per completed task)

1. You must follow me on Twitter @christiefarrar
2. You must follow IntelliGender on Twitter @IntelliGender
3. Go to IntelliGender's website and read a review about the IntelliCeutical product of your choice,
come back here, and leave a comment about what you learned.
4. Go to the IntelliGender website and read about the Gender Prediction Test,
come back here, and leave a comment about what you learned. This could be
a testimonial, something in the FAQ's, etc.

*Statement taken directly from the IntelliCeuticals website. I have not tried this product on my own. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

Good luck to everyone who enters!

Friday, August 5, 2011

The Hip Bone is Connected to...

So another common thing in pregnancy I didn't know about: sleeping on your side over extends your hip and makes it excruciatingly painful! But that's okay, I googled it and figured it out. I guess as early as 16 weeks (4 months) your hip muscles start to loosen up to help make room for baby, both as baby starts to expand and also in preparation of delivery, where the pelvis actually separates. Stretching/light exercise helps as do body pillows running the length of your leg.

Today I was feeling the hurt, so I got on my recumbent and I did 20 minutes of biking on the lowest resistance. I managed 3.25 miles and 120 calories in 20 minutes, so that worked out great. I also have a Yoga Momma dvd from Crunch on Netflix that I watched today. I normally watch a workout video first, it helps me remember what  the next move coming up is, so I can kind of focus on form and not being confused.

It's really neat because it has women of all body sizes and different stages of pregnancy in it, so I don't really feel like I am out of place.

Of course I did all of this after I had a bacon and cheese on toast for breakfast. Don't judge.

I work a lot today but I do have a couple hours off where I think I can do some of the Yoga Momma if not all of it, to help with the pelvis.

Other than that, I'm doing really well and am proud of the fact I did 20 minutes of any kind of biking, whether it was low resistance or not.

I'm exhausted from my little bike ride and now I need some caffeine! I got a long day ahead of me. I think I'll make some coffee. Brian's just gone off to work, thank goodness he is feeling better. He even took his anxiety meds with him and we had a nice long talk about how it's okay to use them if he needs them, and how much better I have been since I've been on them. And he agrees, he said he still feels like it's his fault that we went to the ER and is beating himself up about it but I don't care honestly. I told him we are lucky that it was nothing, imagine how much worse it would have been.

He has the day off tomorrow so he can work on some of his commissions and get them out of the way. Which would make me happy! :)

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Wednesday Night

Wednesday night was absolutely terrifying for me. I had to run to Brian's work and when I got there, he told me his face was kind of tingly on the left side. "Weird," I said. "Call me if it gets any worse."
 I got a call from Brian two hours later that the left side of his face was numb and so was his left arm. I instantly thought "oh God, it's a stroke."

I told him to go to the ER and I would meet him there. He was a little unsure about going, after all we don't have insurance just yet (we signed up yesterday for it) and we have no money. I didn't care though. My world was crumbling. I really tried to hold it together- but failed miserably.

"Call me when you get to the hospital," I choked out. "I love you, and it's going to be okay."

After I hung up, I sobbed. I took a Xanax immediately, but I still had about 10-20 minutes before it kicked in. I started focusing on the practicalities. I was scheduled to work, so I called in. I called my mom and told her what was going on. Or something similar to what was going on. I think it was pretty much incoherent. She told me to calm down. Stop crying. Explain it slowly. I tried. "It's probably just a panic attack, I used to get them like that all the time. He's healthy. He's okay. You did the right thing making him go. Calm down, it's okay. Just calm down before you drive out there."

I stuffed in my purse the bare essentials: checkbook, wallet, his Xanax, my Xanax, Tylenol, and a book. I went downstairs and knocked on the neighbor's door to see if they could watch my dog. They weren't home. I called Brian's brother. I got a voicemail. "Brian's gone to the ER. I need you to come watch Max. But I can't afford to waste time back tracking. Call me."

He calls me back and says he'll meet me at the hospital.

I get there, and Brian's already in a room talking to a dr. I slide in the room and sit down. They tell him that they are doing blood work and a CT Scan. They've narrowed it down between a panic attack, Bells Palsy, and a stroke, but won't know for sure until they get the results.

So they do blood work and then cart him off for a CT scan. Aaron arrives. "How is he? What's wrong?" I update him and he said that he will take care of the dog if we are stuck in the ER all night long. Brian comes back. "It'll be about 30 minutes before we get the test results back." The nurse informs me.

Aaron sticks around. At this point, Brian's only been there an hour. Shortly after this, the nurse comes back and tells us it's not Bells Palsy (a viral infection) so we are just waiting on the CT Scan. Another lady comes in asking how would we like to pay? Uhh... let me get back to you on that...

At this point, I'm calm. The Xanax has kicked in and I'm thinking logically again. I ask my mom if she can help. The nurse said I didn't have to pay it all tonight, but anything is helpful. My mom can't help. My grandma can. They send me the money. I use my debit card. It's declined. I use my other debit card. It goes through. I remember why I switched banks in the first place.

Still waiting on the scan results, I get a hold of Brian's parents. They offer to come to the ER "No Aaron's already here and it will just upset Brian more if everyone shows up. We'll get the results in a few minutes and I'll keep you updated."

We get the result. NEGATIVE! Hallelujah! It's a panic attack and he's fine. His mom calls. "I want more details on what's going on," she says. "We're coming up." I tell her that it turns out its nothing he was just having a panic attack and that everything looks okay on his CT scan and his bloodwork came back negative too. He's fine and they are discharging him now. "Did they look at his neck?" "no they didn't look at his neck. He had a panic attack they are discharging him now."

Aaron went home. We were discharged. We went home. I called everyone and let them know he was okay. He took a Xanax and promptly fell asleep.

It was a very scary 2 hours at the hospital. I finally broke down and started crying at 5 am this morning, just so relieved.

He's doing great today! He's got the day off work and he's living the life. Spoiled rotten :)

And yes Mom, he said I could blog this! Thanks once again to my grandma and to my brother in law, my mom for talking me down, and keeping me a steady rock for Brian during this bizarre time. I'm thankful that I can hug him and kiss him all day long now.

Now we have to follow up with our family dr and double check that everything is okay, which it is, and he promised me he would keep his pills on him so they are always handy for next time. He's bummed we had to pay almost $200 for a panic attack, but I'm just happy he's as crazy as I am lol much better than a stroke, or viral infection, right?? Right.

Anyway, it's all over with and every one is fine, Brian included. Yay!!!!!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

A Complete Waste of Time

Ah, well turns out it was a LIFE insurance salesman yesterday. Our friends who nominated us told us it was HEALTH insurance, not LIFE insurance, so we kept waiting through this guy's song and dance to get to the important stuff.

Finally, Brian said "We'll let you know"

And the guy said "In my experience, just so you know, that means 'no'"

I looked at him and tried not to laugh in his face.
He kept trying to push us into getting it.

"It's only $24 a month."

Brian responded "Well if you are going to force us to choose today, we are going to have to decline. Sorry, we thought you were for health insurance, which is what we need. Thanks for meeting with us today. Have a nice day."

I was very impressed. Brian usually doesn't tell people no, or even to get lost, but he did both, quite eloquently too!

So the guy left, and I signed us up for Brian's insurance through work. We went with the middle plan (There were three to choose from) which will be sufficient for our needs. I would have liked the highest plan, but he would have been basically working for free, and I can't have that.

So, I finally have insurance and can go to the doctor again next month when it becomes active. Hurray!

Also- here is a question for you all... What does my dog, babies, and a Flipcam have in common? Stay tuned to find out! It will be exciting!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Apprehension and Annoyance

Note: Third blog today! Weee.....

We were nominated by some friends to receive free insurance through a major company. Now I don't know really what that means.I guess they do insurance for unions, but if a union member says they don't want the insurance, then they give it to someone in the community? We are meeting the representative tonight, so I'm sure I'll figure it out then. Or not. Who knows, insurance is crazy hard for me to understand it seems!

The rep wanted to meet today, but Brian was working a 9 hour shift. He said that he would be out of town after 6pm today, but he would check his schedule and see when he could meet with us. Brian got someone to cover the last half of his shift and called the rep back, and left a message saying he could meet today. I also cancelled some hours too.

Well we got a call from him this morning saying he couldn't meet us until 9 pm, and we said that was okay. He seemed annoyed that we would want to meet so late. ("Why would you even offer that as a time, if you don't want to meet?!" Brian said after he hung up) So that was annoying... especially since we are missing out on extra money, but whatever....

I guess he called Brian just about 15 minutes ago and said that he could meet at 5 pm if we could too. I'm not sure if this is a test- how bad do you want this? kind of thing- or if this guy is just an idiot/asshole. But I'm glad that he decided to meet us during daylight hours, at least it makes it worth it that we cancelled our plans then! Brian's annoyed at all of the back and forth, and I'm becoming more and more skeptic of this whole situation...

But, being the cautious person that I am, I am not going to sign anything, or agree to anything, until I get paperwork in my hand (including what the insurance covers, and the contract, because I'm sure there's a contract!) and I am also going to compare it to the insurance Brian gets from his work too. Just to see.
There are so many scams nowadays that it seems like it is harder and harder to tell them from a legitimate offer. Though I am sure there is going to be a phone number and a company name, so I can at least do a little recon on my own.

And I'm going to have my mom help me look over it, because like I said, I am not sure what is what with insurance, but I am obviously going to go for the better insurance plan, even if it means we have to pay for it ourselves (as tough as that will be... its a necessity!) And once the baby is born? We are going to cut ourselves off the insurance and just cover the baby. We are relatively healthy and I'm not too concerned about us... but a child is another matter. Walking disease buckets (or crawling ha) so it's a good idea.

I'm nervous because suddenly I have to clean the house in under three hours (as well as run to the post office!) and shower, do hair and make up and try and look very pregnant (I'm not ashamed to play the pregnant card!) and make myself presentable... Brian isn't getting off work until 4 or 4:15, so he might not make it home at 5... which leaves me to entertain a possible shark on my own. Great. Do I go to the store and get something to drink and snacks? Or do I play the poor card ("I'm sorry, all I have to drink is water and milk") and not offer him a snack? I want to be a good hostess... but I don't want to ruin our chances by appearing too snooty... so I don't know.

Or it could go really really well and not be a scam. I'm keeping my skeptic cap on but I still got my glass half full, so we will see. I try to trust my gut, and part of it is saying "ABORT!" but I at least want to hear the guy out.

It should be amusing at the very least. Updates soon!

I'm Too Young

I keep thinking that I am too young to have a baby. After all, I have only been married 2 years.

But when I think about it, it's so weird. I am going to be 24 in a few months. 24 years old. I still think of myself just out of highschool or college, you know still 19 or 20, but I'm not. I really am an adult.

I think it's because I never really thought I would get married, or have children. I never thought I would marry the man of my dreams. I always kind of thought that I would have to "settle" for a guy who was, like, okay, but not really what I wanted or needed.

And I never really wanted kids at all. In fact, up until the time I got pregnant, I really hated kids. I never even laughed at babies. Now I laugh all the time.

This whole thought process was sparked because I was laying in bed, on my back, running my finger tips over my belly, and feeling how it was expanding. Running them up and down, thinking to myself about how strange being pregnant is, but how nice it is too.

Brian is still randomly throwing out nice compliments. And they always come at the most inopportune time!

Me: "Ah, I think I need to go to the bathroom!"
Him: "This is going to sound really weird now, but you're so pretty."
Me: "I'm glad you think so. Do we have toilet paper?"

But that's how I know that he really loves me and really means it, when he can say how beautiful I am when my stomach is exploding and my bum is on fire. He is a great man! :)

When I think back on my life, I realize that I didn't really ever have a direction or purpose. I never knew what I wanted to be. I thought an author would be great, but only because it seemed so easy to do. I've never been one for hard work.... not to say that I don't work hard when I have to, I would just not prefer it. Luckily my greed keeps me working at all.

Anyway, I guess I am still struggling to find myself and my path. I know I should be happy that I have a loving, supportive husband, a great family, a nice apartment, and a baby on the way, but it still seems like I am lost. Am I? I don't know. Should I expect more? Is it enough to remain happy like I am? Am I settling?

I still feel like I am just too young... I still don't know who I am, really. I mean, I know who I am in a general sense. I'm a wife, a daughter, a soon to be mother, and I am bold, always expressing my opinions. Slightly panicky, bad-food loving, cooking queen, mess maker... I know that. I'm just wondering if I expected more and am disappointed that I didn't get to do whatever... but when I think about what it was I wanted to do, there is nothing there.

I guess.... It was just a feeling that I had to be something else to prove to others that I know what I am doing with my life. But you know what? I think I got all that I am going to get, which is a lot to be thankful for. I am a mother. Yeah, I can handle that.

I still want to be a writer. But I don't know what to write about. In a way, I have already fulfilled that with this blog, even though its not exactly a "story" but it is my story. And I'll write it anyway I want.

Yeah.

From now on, I'm 5ft7, 150 lbs, and I am a size 10/12, tan, and look awesome in a bikini. I also have super powers and can save the world. Housewife turned Superhero.

Hahaha I can dream, right? And that sort of keeps me young, I think.

Fiber-Infused Apple Juice

I love apple juice. It's no secret really. So when my baby dr told me to "drink fruit juice- 2 servings a day" since I don't like fruit, well, no problem! I actually like all juice, which proves my theory that it is texture, not taste, that bothers me.

I got some apple juice at Wal-Mart, the "Great Value" store brand. You know, I like store brands. This was no exception. The juice was great. But I noticed something neat about this brand that I haven't seen on my regular brand... and that is, it is fortified with fiber. Each 8 ounce serving has 3g of fiber added to it (as well as vitamin C, this could be why I hardly ever really get colds)

I generally can drink a half gallon of apple juice in under a day (if it's all I drink that day) and can finish a gallon off in under 2 days. Now that it has some of the added benefits of eating real fruit (yay fiber!) it's going to be impossible for me to quit drinking it.

I also got half a gallon of cranberry-pomegranate juice, which I finished the first day I got it. I LOVE tart juice!
I'm going to have to get more, definitely!

Everyone is talking about making goals and plans for this August, and I have some too. Mine are pretty basic, and non-traditional. Here we go...

-Get insurance. We can finally sign up for Brian's insurance through his work. But we might also qualify for free insurance... more on that when I figure it out. I'm kind of skeptical, yet hopeful.
-Save money. I am putting away 10% of all money that comes in this household. Whether it's tips or pay checks or commissions for art, it's getting saved.
-Hang out with friends more. I really am enjoying hanging out with my friend Carissa and hope to see more of her! Maybe later today. We will see.
-Make an extreme effort to exercise. I'm starting my prenatal yoga dvd tomorrow, so I'll let you know how that goes.

In other, exciting news! I am going to be doing a giveaway- like, THIS WEEK!- and a product review, which will include video, my dog, and something to do with babies... you'll have to check it out!

Have a happy and safe week, friends!

PS... Tricia? Brian is totally working on your free commission. He's almost got it done, should be done by Thursday.

Monday, August 1, 2011

I'm More Important Than Food and Swimming

My friend Carissa texted me today. "Wanna hang out?" and she came over to chill.

I absolutely adore her because she is so open and honest, and she is so similar to me. Anyway, she had told me that she was at her boyfriend's house and that she wanted to do something so she came over. Which is really nice. Then she went on to say that she had been invited to a BBQ and was going to go swimming, but she'd rather hang out with me.

ha. I'm flattered to be more important than food and swimming.

She was over for a few hours and again, we talked nonstop the whole time. I didn't even bother turning on the TV or Netflix, haha.

It's so nice to hang out with her because she's so low maintenance, easy going, and quite a talker. I mean, we get along on so many levels, you'd think we have been friends for years, but really, we've only hung out less than a dozen times. So it is a very fast, yet natural, click that we have.

When she left, she said we will have to do this again in a few days. Yes we will! I know nothing super exciting is happening in our lives, but we never run out of things to talk about. She really makes me smile. She also makes my jaw hurt, since I've yakked it off and laughed all night long!

It's taken me nearly 3 years, but I finally made a real friend in my new town. Someone I feel just as close to as Kayla. I never thought I would make any more friends, since I am so picky, but Carissa and I just click. I'm so happy to have met her.

Do you have trouble making friends? Or am I just overly picky?