Friday, December 31, 2010

A Good Day

Today was a fantastic day! It's nearly 60 degrees out (on New Years Eve!!!) and I am so lucky to be alive. I made Brian go out on a bike ride! It was a short ride, mainly because it was a little wet, and a little windy, and also my knee really hurts.

But it was GREAT to get out there. I think the whole ride was maybe ten minutes. Maybe.

Sure we got some crazy looks- BUT- its crazy weather!! So of course we went out!

Today being New Year's Eve, Brian is off work and we get to spend the day together. Today is mostly going to be done catching up on housework and cleaning/re-arranging our bedroom. What a way to spend it! Our apartment is insanely dirty. No clean clothes, the kitchen's more of a wreck than usual, and the bathrooms are dirty.

So gonna get that done.

What are your plans? Who's going out and who's staying in? I don't have any plans until Sunday- we are going out of town to visit Brian's grandparents. We didn't get to go for Christmas, so it will be nice to see them again. I can't wait! I love his grandparents. They are so sweet and awesome.

Of Stress and Barbecue Chicken Pizza

Today was awful emotionally.

I got on the scale and it was 215.0 even, so yay! down some weigh again. Must have been all the Zumba and the good eating.

Work is insanely stressful- to the point that I am taking 2 Xanax a day (previously, I might have taken one a month) I actually had a few breakdowns today where on my breaks I just openly sobbed until I had to go back. Part of me realizes that from Christmas through January is the busiest month for the Company but still... the other half of me just wants to quit so bad.

I don't think I've ever wanted to quit anything as bad as I do now. I feel like such a loser admitting that, but this is worse than the other company I worked for when they were laying off everyone.

This is more stress than I felt working 50 hours a week, going to school full time, and starting to plan my life together with Brian.

I really don't think that I am cut out to be a customer support agent. I don't really like talking to people and that's all this job is!

But I promised myself that I will stick with it through the month of January, and if I *still* hate it and I am *still* stressed out, I am going to quit.

Sorry I'm not sorry.

On that note: I ordered pizza tonight- half chicken bbq and half pepperoni for Brian. I ate all my half . It was delicious and it was worth it.

Thursday, December 30, 2010


Yesterday was a fantastic eating day for me- until I got off work.

I had yogurt with crushed granola for breakfast for 8 points
I had 2 oz of chicken breast with fat free swiss and half a cup of cottage cheese for 6 points
I had another granola bar "two-fer" for 4 points and an apple (0) for a snack
I had 3 oz of shredded bbq pork for 6 points

That's 24 points.

Then I proceeded to gorge on popcorn. I have no idea how much I had! the label on the canister (Yes, *canister*) said that it was 3 points per serving, however, the serving size is scratched off the label!! Go figure! I know there are 24 servings per container however. It was a 3-type canister filled with regular, cheddar cheese, and caramel corn. I am not fond of caramel corn so no extra damage there! The strange thing is, it doesn't say what the nutritional info is per type of popcorn, just what it is overall. Perhaps they assume that you will eat a serving and it will equally be divided into the three types?

Anyway to be safe, I said that I had 4 servings (theres a looooot left) for 12 points

For some reason, I am unable to access and also on my app on my iPhone. I cannot even add items to the "untracked" folder. I've been having issues with the app since they switched it over to PointsPlus and even downloading the updates, deleting the app and reinstalling it still gives me issues. Grumbleee!

Strange websites aside, I also Zumba'd today using my Kinect game. And while it's not the same as going to a class (for one, the instructors big ass isn't in my face and I am not tripping over gym equipment) it is still a lot of fun and verrrry hard. There are beginner and intermediate classes as well as some others I think? But I've only done one of the two beginner's classes. It breaks it down into 5 minute sections and its 25 minutes long. By the time its over, I'm sweating hard, I can barely think as I try to count the beats to keep in sync, and I am out of breath. Worth it though, when I see how sore I am only a few hours later.

Points consumed: 36
Activity earned: 6
Mood: GREAT!
Hunger: nil
Thoughts?: Feeling a little nauseous but that could be combined stress and the effects of taking my birth control pills. I always get nauseated the first few days taking them after I've had my lady time. Over all a fantastic day! Yay! I can do this :)

I switched my schedule around so I could have a longer weekend, and I am so looking forward to it. I cannot wait to be done with this week. I am getting so stressed due to work being insane (to the point where I think this is not worth anything they pay me- and the money is *fantastic*- but I keep pushing through. It's because of the holidays. I will see if its any better by February, and if it's not for me, oh well, its not for me. At least I tried and tried.) I take a Xanax daily. I am going to run out soon and have to go to the doctor to get another fill lol :)

Between tech issues on my end and their end, and the never ending calls, its been a nightmare...In fact, thats all I dream about. :(
But while I am on the calls with the customer I am having a great time, laughing, and keeping them entertained, so it has its good points too. I now definitely have no problem talking to people, whether in person or on the phone.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Weigh In and Other News

It's Weigh In Day

I am up 1.6 lbs. In two weeks, I have gained 3.8 lbs! Wait....that's not good. But like I said, I don't bitch about it because it is entirely in my control. I could track better, eat better, and move more. And if I do all that and still don't see a loss, then I toss the scale out the window and then do it anyway.

Other news:

*My chiro appointments have gone down from 3 days a week to once a week! YAY! My back is doing great and rarely cracks anymore (both in the office and when I am stretching). I found out that my orthotics will be in this week.

*Speaking of orthotics, they were designed to give me an arch in my right foot as well adjust my knee and help keep it in place. I found out my knee is out of place because the muscles that hold it there are weak. They are weak because I don't have an arch. Once they force an arch out of my right foot, my knee will be fine. This is my right foot. My left foot has an arch in it (forced again, from surgery). Don't worry, Mom!

*I had a fantastically healthy breakfast! I had one cup of fat free vanilla yogurt with a 2-pack of those Kashi granola bars I mentioned. I crushed one and mixed it in with my yogurt- delicious! The other I ate on the way to the chiro. When I got home, I had an apple! Skin and all! My breakfast was 8 points. Which is perfect! I figured if I could eat a little more in the morning, I might be disinclined to eat more later.

*Because of the decreased frequency in my chiro appointments, this means that I will be able to get my new glasses and contacts soon! YAY! It will be so nice to see again. If you are lucky enough that you don't have glasses to wear every minute of every day, you probably don't realize that over time your eyes get "used" to the glasses and therefore you can't see as well. It's a major bummer. I think I am going to pick out some cute frames too. I deserve it! I've had the same pair of frames for nearly 5 years.

I do have to admit this one thing: I switched to sugar substitute. I am not able to control myself around sugar, I think. So the fake stuff will have to work for a while until I am mentally ready to make the transition. I am not wanting to give it up entirely yet. So yeah. I am probably going to switch to fake butter too. I know "real" butter and "real" sugar are better for you, but I don't want to spend the points on them.

Sorry I'm not sorry. Someday I will be able to do that, but not now.

No Weight Loss for you, come back 1 week!

Work is psychotically busy. My jaw hurts from talking so much all day long. But other than being so busy you cant even take a drink of water and literally worshipping any breaks you get, it was a fantastic day. I had a lot of people just hang up on me- oh well. I had a lot of people who had to call back later- oh well. I even helped a few people- yay!

Today I tracked everything that went in my mouth.

I ate 40 points+ (6 over my daily limit)

I'm not going to lie, I had *another* gain this week. I will tell you whyyyyyy.....

-Christmas Eve dinner with my family. I said I had 40 points, but who really knows? I had 3 oz of ham, 4 deviled eggs, 2-3 oz of summer sausage, 2-3 oz of cheddar cheese (sharp, full fat) mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, and corn casserole, as well as a slice of my mom's pie. It was probably more like 65,000 points.

-Saturday, Christmas, I spent working and had left over ham and turkey sandwiches, cottage cheese, and lots of rum and cokes. I didn't bother tracking this day.

-Sunday my best friend was in town with her fiance. This is the first time I've seen them since the engagement and we went out bowling. I hate bowling. So I had a pint of hard apple cider to get me going. Then I had deep fried chicken fingers and french fries with ranch dipping sauce, Burger King chicken fries with french fries and bbq sauce, and breadsticks from Papa John's.
I didn't bother tracking this day either. I tracked BK but that was it.

-Monday I didn't bother tracking. I was so frustrated and worried about work that I didn't really eat to begin with and I do remember making a turkey skillet dish which was delicious.

-Today I tracked all day! YAY ME! I had 2 kashi lean granola bar thingies for 4 points each (2 sticks per pack), 6 oz of fat free yogurt for 3 points, and 10 oz of bbq pulled pork for 20 points, and 1 cup of mac and cheese for 11 points.

Although I didn't track my food, I did track my activity. I earned 6 APs this week. Zumba and Your Shape are a lot of fun. I also did Dance Central. It's no wonder that my knee is killing me.

Even though I ate on plan and tracked everything today, I still want to eat more. I am still hungry. I think I have to get used to eating less again.

 I pretty much failed at tracking my food this week and pretty much let life get in the way. I went to the store and I got some more apples and snack-type foods.With work it is more difficult to eat because there isn't any down time between calls (ok, there is 30 seconds, but that's barely enough time to chew!) I need to have items in my reach so I can snack on them and be able to control portion sizes. The kashi bars are 4 points each and take a long time to get through, so those are perfect. I also got a small bag of Quaker rice cakes in pomegranate and blackberry- DELISH! I ate the whole bag in one setting.

Tomorrow I have to get up early anyway due to a chiro appointment. So here's whats on the menu....

Breakfast: 6 oz of fat free vanilla yogurt with one crumbled Kashi bar (5 points) with a honeycrisp apple (0) and 6 oz of black coffee with 2 Splendas, 1T of fat free creamer, and 1T of milk (2 points)

Snack: .5 cup of cottage cheese with paprika and an apple- before work starts. (3 points)

Lunch: 5 ounces of  chicken with 2 ounces of corn (7 points)

Snack: Apple with the other half of my Kashi bar (2 points)

Dinner: 5 ounces of pulled pork (10 points) with 1/4 shredded fat free cheddar (1 point) with .5 cup of cottage cheese (3 points)

Total: 33 points.

If I am still hungry (like now) I am going to grab another apple. I am so glad that my apples are still in season- I have been devouring them like crazy!

Monday, December 27, 2010

How to Turn a Bad Day into a Good One

Today started out insane but ended on a good note. 

I was at work and we were in our on the job training session, which we have for 30 minutes at the beginning of our shift and 30 minutes at the end of the shift. The meeting ran over by 15 minutes- This is the busiest day on the calendar for the Company and they were stressing the importance of attendance, adherence, and following policy and code of conduct. Lots of people across the US depended on our team today. Go Team!!

I get ready to log in to my phone so I can start taking calls, except I hear music. When I first got my headset I was picking up radio interference from a local station. Nothing major, it was really soft, barely audible Christmas music. I had my trainers listen in and they couldn't hear anything- it was all on my end. I did all the troubleshooting I could but to no avail- it was still there. No big deal, I will just deal with it and then go about my day. 

The next day the music was a little louder, but still pleasant Christmas music, so again, I just ignored it and did all my calls. 

Today though, it was 2 different radio stations and the music was blaring. Songs were overlapping (one station was playing Pink and the other was playing Jason Mraz, which sounds horrible together, fyi) and DJs were yelling, adverts were telling me to buy now, don't delay! It was impossible to hear anything on the other line. I had to log off and go out and buy a new headset. 

I spent about 10 minutes online researching *which* headset to buy- I didn't want to make the same mistake again-  and then I called the store to make sure the headset was in stock before driving out there. I got there, got the box and looked it over. Seems like it was the same one I was researching, so I made my purchase. $110.  While leaving, my stomach grumbles and I realize I am so hungry. I should stop by McDonalds and just grab a quick bite to eat- but I get in the wrong lane and its a "turn only" lane so I was forced to skip the drive thru. Accidental Victory #1

I get home and set it up with my current phone, except its the wrong type of phone. This headset needs to be corded, with a base that has the numberpad on it. I had a cordless phone with a number pad on the handset. Double fail. I made a sandwich (sliced chicken 1 oz, with fat free swiss on whole wheat) and then head out

I went to Wal-Mart and got the correct type of phone for $25.While waiting in line to purchase, I see a case of soda pop and decide I want a diet mountain dew at least. I walk over and open the case, and grabbed a bottled water by mistake. Accidental Victory #2 I finally get home again and the Company calls me asking me where I was. I told them I was having tech issues and I had already talked to Coach A and they told me to report to Room X and Payroll when I get sorted. I thought they were going to fire me then and there, because until my two week of on the job training are up, 100% attendance is mandatory. Turns out they needed more help and were calling everyone- they didn't even care. 

I finally get back on line and logged in and reported my tech issues, I'm all set up ready for calls. An hour goes by, not a single call. Others were waiting too- the call volume dropped. Thankfully. It dawns on me, I probably don't get lunch or breaks as I went from a 8.5 hour shift to a 5 hour shift. I asked my bosses, but I still get to take my lunch at the regularly scheduled time. Which turns out to be 3 minutes from the time I asked. Then I went to lunch. 

I only handled about 5 calls today, but each one of my callers was a happy individual, I had them laughing on the phone, I kept them entertained, and I was able to help each and every one of them. 

I was dreading today but it was actually a really good day despite the tech issues and the stress. I made healthy choices (albeit unconsciously) and it worked out for me in the end. 

I logged off today and realized just how lucky I am. 

New Games and First Impressions

Well just to let you know I got another new game for my Xbox 360. I got Your Shape: Fitness Evolved. It got great reviews (8.1 out of 10) but my first impressions of it were "meh"

It starts up showing a fat person on the screen... I was like oh how cool it shows a fat person is it going to do an intro so you can see them get in shape? Then I realized it was ME. I was the fat person. I am the fat person. WTF

But I decided to start a profile anyway.

First off it "scans" you for your height and where your key muscles are. It pegged my biceps in the right place but my abdominals were on my tits (?) and my hamstrings were on my gut (??) then it told me that I was only 2'9" tall. I am 5'5" thank you very much.

You can't edit this information either.

I think for this game I will have to readjust the kinect sensor and see if that helps.

There are fitness classes like cardio boxing and zen, as well as personal training sessions, and then gym games. The cardio boxing I thought was going to be a blast, but it was rather slow paced. Maybe its because I was only allowed to do the "bronze" level.

The personal training is kind of slow paced too, and very awkward.

The only thing I really liked was this "punch out" game where you bust blocks...which I could totally do on Kinect Adventures!

I will try it again though. I spent some Christmas money on it so at least there was that.

Zumba on the other hand (got a 5.4 out of 10 on reviews) was awesome. I loved it a lot. I had so much fun dancing and it really wore me out. I was working up a sweat in no time.

Brian and I also spent some more of our Christmas money on an ergonomic keyboard and a new mouse. Yeah, geeky, I know.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Happy Holidays from He Took MY Last Name!!

Happy holidays!! What goodies did we get for Christmas around the HTMLN household? Weeelllllll

I got Zumba, hand towels/washcloths, slipper socks, 2 new cookbooks, my very own angel and santa and $20.
Brian got a new sweater (looks really nice on him) 3200 Microsoft Points, $20 and a pen/pencil set with his full new name on it. Ha! It was great.

Zumba is a lot of fun. Though I have to say it is a game where you have to go to the tutorials first to learn all the dance moves, otherwise you are clueless during the actual game. Another interesting point was whenever Brian would walk into the playspace area, it would sign me out, thinking he wanted to join. That took me a while to figure out what was going on.

The workout was intense! I put it in WW as "high intensity" because, following their guide, it was! I did the beginner 20 minute workout and I know I will feel it later.

The food was fantastic. My mom is a great cook (when she wants to be) and this year she must have hit some sort of sweet spot because absolutely everything was delicious, it turned out, and it was greedily consumed by all, including myself. We ate ourselves silly, watched The Christmas Story, and part of Bad Santa. But I got tired and sleepy, so we went home. :)

Hope that you have a safe and wonderful holiday this year. I'm spending tomorrow on the phones all day so I will be helping people as best as I can (or just chatting in a chat room for 8 hours, depending on how busy it is!)

Friday, December 24, 2010

Quick Announcement!!

Yesterday, my first day of OJT required me to take a xanax, get over myself, and own a few phone calls. I was able to help some people, not help some people, etc but I had them all laughing and having a good time in no time.

But what is even more amazing than this?

I ate all my fruits and veggies for the day! Yes, I got the DRA for the first time EVER in my life.

I felt so good.

I had 4 apples and 2 servings of spaghetti. In my spaghetti per serving, is 2.5 servings of veggies. So, 4 fruits/5 veggies!!


Have a happy and safe holiday everyone. I gotta jet, because I am supposed to leave in 18 minutes and I still have to do hair/makeup/get dressed LOL

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

It's another Weigh innnnn

So I would like to point out that this past week I ate a lot. Some of it didn't get written down. Most of it did.

This week I had:

-Roast beef burritos with refried beans, Mexican rice, chips and salsa from my all time favorite restaurant. Oh and I had it delivered. Bad Christie, no soup for you!
-Approximately 2 dozen cookies
-Nachos BellGrande
-Restaurant spaghetti
-Homemade spaghetti
-Chicken with mac n cheese/or rice
-Diet sodas
-Lots of coffee
-Lots of yogurt/string cheese
-Handfuls of bittersweet chocolate chips/marshmallows. Lots and lots of handfuls. In fact, Brian and I took turns eating out of the bag. That's messed up.

Yeah, I failed pretty much at life this week. I also ended up going over my weekly allowance by 12 points. I also ate all of my activity points too. Not that I earned many. I earned 3. Pitiful.

I am not going to lie, its a BIG weight change. I could whine or cry, or make excuses. But you know what? Truth of the matter is: I ate what I wanted, how much I wanted, and I paid for it by having a weight gain. I used hormones as excuses. I ate and ate and ate. I am not ashamed of my inner (and outer) fatass. I am responsible for my progress, forward or backward. Still, its not exactly pleasant seeing this big of a jump. I gained just a little over 2 lbs this week. 2.2 to be more accurate

I did not once step on that scale during those 7 days- a grievous error on my part. Most people when they step on the scale, it does their head in. They freak out about their lack of progress, or get false hope. Me? I gained nearly 60 lbs in a year because I did not step on a scale. I did not own a scale. When I lived at home, I weighed myself once every single day!

Stupid Christmas. I was like, oh I will make cookie jars for everyone! Wait, I need to try out the recipe to see if its any good <----LIES!! (its a fantastic recipe, by the way)

Redeeming moments: 

Last night, I ate a clementine. Or rather, I tried a clementine. Turns out, I love the taste, not the texture. At least I keep trying fruit, right? Thats the important thing. Lucky me, Brian loves them and gobbled the rest of it down for me.  I also found an apple in the crisper that had been sitting there for probably 2 months. I sliced it open, sniffed it, and then ate it. It was perfectly fine. And delicious! Brian was hesitant, so I made him try it too. He promptly stole half my apple. Hey! That's miiiiine!! 

I took a multivitamin yesterday. Nearly choked on the gargantuan pill, but still took it. I drank all of my water too. I had fruit! It was almost a good day! 

Here's the game plan this week. Or at least today.

-No coffee. I seriously drink all my points in coffee if left to my own devices.
-Breakfast was 6 oz of fat free vanilla yogurt with 1 small sliced honeycrisp apple, for a total of 3 points and 16 oz of water.
-Lunch is going to be 6 oz of fat free fruit flavored yogurt with 1 cup of mixed berries (pureed and deseeded, of course) and maybe one sliced apple as well, as a smoothie.
-Snack: 30 chocolate chips for 2 points
-Dinner is awesome homemade spaghetti. Recipe below.

And that looks like a very well rounded day. I even get almost all my fruits and veggies in, if you can believe it!

My homemade meat sauce consists of 2 cups tomato sauce (16 ounce can), 2 cups diced tomatoes (16 ounce can- I get "petite diced") , 1 cup of frozen spinach (thawed and pureed) and 1/2 c of frozen carrots (also thawed and pureed) as well as 1/4 cup each of diced onion and green bell pepper. Add to this 20 oz of ground turkey (93/7) and garlic powder, seasoned salt, ground black pepper, crushed red pepper flakes, and red wine vinegar (all to taste) and this is one hearty sauce, this is served over whole grain spaghetti noodles or whole grain penne rigate, depending on what I have in my cupboard. I watched this video that you should let your meat sauce simmer for a few hours. I am considering doing that, just to see how it would taste.

I've finally decided to permanently make the switch from ground beef to ground turkey. First off, its moister. Secondly, its usually cheaper. If I get 90/10 ground beef, I can expect to pay $4.49 a pound. If I get ground turkey, I can expect to pay $3.99 for 20 ounces. That's getting .25 lbs more for .50 less!!

I am going to ride my stationary today. Stella has been neglected for far too long. I also have my last test for my training at work today, there is an extra amount of stress. I would hate to FAIL the last day of training and lose my job :( I am going to do Couch to 5K day 1 and pedal my heart out to some music, sweat a little, earn some APs and then go and ace this test. Tomorrow is my first day of on the job training (not just classroom training) and taking live phone calls. Wish me luck! I am nervous but very excited.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

More info on the Chiro

I had a chiro appointment today. I thought it was tomorrow, but I was wrong. I also had to cancel my Thursday appointment. I am attending a funeral that morning. One of Brian's cousins passed away unexpectedly, and they are holding the funeral before the holidays. The last funeral I think I went to was my paternal grandfathers. I can't remember for sure, though. It was a long time ago.

Anyway... on to happier things, I suppose.

I don't bruise easily. Well, that's not true. I do bruise, but its never visible. It takes a lot of muscle abuse for it to show up. I remember once I got a huge bruise on my hip because I fell out of bed in the middle of the night and landed on a typewriter I had by my bed. I thought typewriters were so cool and old fashioned.

I have no balance so I run into things a lot, and in the process, get pretty banged up. My body has gotten used to it, so that the muscle will be sore and it will feel like a bruise but it wont show. I'm very lucky I landed with such a nice husband.

My chiro, Dr N, massages my leg muscles. He said that it will most likely bruise a little bit, and yes it is painful, but it will get stronger. I thought, yeah right, I will just be sore.

No, I bruised. And I bruised BAD! I have actual bruises going down my leg from my knee to my ankle and they are in the shape of his fingers! They are all black and ugly, and hardly painful at all. Do you know how to get rid of a bruise? You massage it. (Also, ice, ibuprofen, and heat work well. Strangely all the things I have been doing...)

So the cause is the treatment, in this case.

But in other news, I am actually getting a lot stronger he said. I can push against him with more force and my knee is grinding less and less. Good thing too, because I just found out I owe $43 a session now out of pocket. That's $86 a week. And my health savings would cover that, but I only get $215 a month from that. That leaves me to cover the additional cost out of pocket. And that is not including my insoles, which are $200! I need the insoles. I also need to do the exercises and the more I do at home the less I have to go in.

That means also I wont be able to get my glasses and new contacts until probably March. Sigh. My insurance will pay for most of this and they may even give me a refund later, so that would be hella cool.

In other news, I've been doing very well in my training. Our last day is tomorrow and Thursday is my first day of taking live phone calls. Super excited!! I have been doing really well on the tests (which are brutal) and my last one is tomorrow. I can't wait to be done!! When I graduate training I get a $2/hr pay hike.

In unrelated news: I am officially obsessed with Minecraft. Brian's been playing it a lot and I just got my own account and didn't get "the bug" until last night when we were laying in bed thinking of how to better develop our server. It's taken on the appearance of a little town so we are going to have to expand on that. I have a bunch of really cool ideas and have already mapped them out. I know its probably nothing that someone else hasnt come up with but still, its fun.

Okay I have to go make my dinner now. Chicken and rice :) Yum.


As you likely know, I have been nothing short of ravenous lately. I have been eating crap for days on end and still feeling like I am not satisfied. I ate properly today, but still... hungry.

I know it will take a few days to get back on plan, and thats okay.

But I noticed my appetite in other areas are just as insatiable. I want to binge on Dogs 101, reading books, and of course, sex. Lots of sex. My poor husband actually told me no the other day. I don't think I've ever had that happen...ever!

I know I kind of looked at him and said "What?" and he said that he "wasn't in the mood and kind of burnt out" WHAT?!

This man is normally all over me. Even when I was fat and disgusting he wanted some. All the time. And now that he can have it because I feel up to it, he doesnt want it!!! I think I honestly wore him out. He's never been much for endurance, which is fine by me, but still... dang. I told him we were going to have to do some marathon training for when I was skinny so he had to buck up and just do it. He didn't think this was funny, and promptly turned over and went to sleep.

I was left erm unsatisfied.

This so far is the only down side I see to losing weight. Not getting enough sex. Hopefully he will build up his endurance lol

Monday, December 20, 2010

I promise, I will never cry

Went to the chiro today and I found out my orthotic insoles will only run me about $200 and our health savings account will cover that. So yay!! Free insoles!! And apparently my insurance is covering my visits too, double yay!!

It really hurts when he massages my leg muscles. He said he knows from experience how much it hurts and I do my best not to even say "ow" even though all I want to do is cry. He gets in there and digs his knuckles into these muscles and stimulates them. These muscles have all but atrophied in the years of disuse and of course it is going to hurt. He said that he bruised them the other day when I told him how much pain I was in over the weekend but thought I was very brave for coming back. Not only did I go back, but Brian also rubbed them for me and helped me with my exercises.

The chiro said that he has had people cry in his office before at the muscle treatment so I know that it wouldn't be anything new. And even though I want to sob like a little girl, I also have to wear my big girl shoes and grit my teeth. I didn't bring a stick today. Maybe Wednesday.

I plan to keep doing them at home, even if it hurts. The more I do it, the stronger they will get, and the less I will have to go. Which is always a bonus. 

I am super stressed out today. A test + lady time = on the verge of tears. I actually got rather upset at one point when I got home and started crying. What did I cry about? Well, Brian said something sweet. A xanax, some coffee, and a cookie helped immensely. 

Brian has a short week at work this week! His last day is Wednesday, he has Thursday through Sunday off. I work on Thursday as my first day of on the job nesting, and have Friday off, and work Saturday. I get paid time and a half for Saturday. 

I was telling all of my friends and family that I was happy I was working Christmas and would have been upset had they not scheduled me. I was promised I could work holidays when I signed up! This may seem strange to some people, but I have a lot of my mom in me. I am a workaholic only because I am greedy and I need the money to keep afloat lol :) I have Sunday and Monday off, and then my regular schedule begins Tuesdays through Saturdays, 1:00-9:30 pm. 

I'm starting to feel tired. This week I am focusing on going to bed "early" (meaning before 6am) and trying to get some quality sleep but it hasn't been easy. 

There were 8 cookies left this morning (out of 36!!) and I had two. I sent 4 to work with Brian today. The other two are in the fridge. For some reason, if I put it on the bottom shelf in the fridge, I am less likely to eat them. Not because I don't like cold cookies, but because I would have to bend over. Laziness can be rewarding, sometimes.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Oh December

Oh December, you are a cruel mistress.

More specifically, my lady week has wreaked havoc on my world. Flipped it upside down and tossed me in the spin cycle.

I already told you about the pizza and the most awesome bacon cheeseburger ever. What I haven't told you is- I stepped on the scale and I am up 2.5 lbs. I made a batch of chocolate chip cookies. I ate probably 10 spoonfuls of batter (which is 10 cookies!) and then two baked, so I had a dozen of those.

We went out to eat again, this time at Bob Evans. I got spaghetti and garlic bread.

I am so sick to my stomach right now and just about disgusted with myself. I know there is no point in dwelling on it. I drank 2 glasses of water to help flush out the impending sugar high I will be feeling soon.

I feel lethargic. Luckily, I got out in the cold and did a bit of Christmas shopping, which was fun. I got my mother in law a bath and shower set from Bath & Body works in Sweet Pea. I was going to make her some myself but decided that it would be easier to buy, after I scoured the city for a kit and could buy a bundle cheaper than making it.

Good news: For every cookie I ate, my husband ate two. I never knew he liked cookies so much. Is this part of my evil plan to get him fat? No. But I am happy he ate lots of them so I wouldn't. Thanks lover, you are so good to me.

I have three more chiro visits this week. I also have a test tomorrow, and another on Wednesday. It's going to be a very stressful week.

I made a promise- that I will not complain about small weight loss/weight gains because that is part of life, and you have to look at the bigger picture. I have already come to terms with the fact I am a gluttonous pig and I should not eat out or make cookies. I am not regretting anything because there is no point. Unless I start barfing, then I will begin to regret a little. I am going to go take a nap. I am going to put heat on my knee and make my husband rub it. I am going to tell myself that it is alright.

But for the record? Aunt Flo is a big, fat bitch.

Winter Projects

What do you do in the winter to keep yourself from going insane and jumping out the window?
How do you manage to hold on to the hope that spring is coming and the winter weather isn't a sign of the apocalypse?

Most people undertake a project or two to keep them occupied. Some do it with their SO's. I thought about it, what should Brian and I do together to stay sane when it's negative bazillion degrees outside and its so white that even I look like I have a tan in comparison?



Video games?

Hibernating? (I voted for this one, but Brian said no)

We are actually rebuilding a computer. Yes, that is what geeks do. And by "we" I really mean he is doing it all, I ask some questions, and then get bored and go take a nap. Or I make him pizza rolls.

So far, its been fun. I have a desktop that is pretty "old"- circa 2004- and there has always been something wrong with it. It boots up fine, but if you restart it, it doesn't want to load up Windows XP anymore. So we are on a mission to figure it out. I spent some time scouring through Microsoft's Support website (which is very helpful) while he actually tore into it and got his hands dirty (literally- it was caked in dust)

It's been worked on before, and lots of the components have already been replaced, but its still a nice little challenge for us. He really wants it to work, and I am all to happy to oblige. And who are we kidding? Pizza rolls are delicious!

Today we did a bit of xmas shopping. I had to buy some ingredients for gift jars (hot chocolate and cookies) and we needed a new power cord for the computer anyway. We went to Five Guys Burgers and Fries (omg, so good.... so soo good) and they have the best burgers I have ever had. I got the "little" burger which is a quarter pound, and Brian got the "big" burger which is nearly half a pound. We split an order of fries, and didn't even finish those!

I have no idea on the points value of that. Holy shit! no wonder it was the best burger ever, it was 17 points for the burger alone! I had maybe 10 fries since the burger was so filling. Wow. Ok.

Then we hung out with friends after shopping. Where they kindly ordered pizza, and I kindly did not devour it all. I had three small pieces, and 2 bread sticks. (for an estimated 17 points)

I have to admit I have been slacking on the tracking lately. I haven't stepped on a scale in a few days. When I went to the chiro and got on the digital scale it said 218.5 (!!) but that was with clothes on and breakfast in my tummy. Usually I weigh naked first thing every morning. Need to get back on that.

I also need to start exercising again. I really do intend to do it... it just never happens! I need to now, especially for my knee. The muscles are still tender (probably because they had all but atrophied over the 6 years) Brian said that he would help me with my exercises too. He's going to massage my knee before bed and then let me do my exercises.

Most of tomorrow will be spent doing some training for work and studying for another test we have on Monday. These tests are brutal! I am a great test taker normally- I usually ace all of the tests in school (I never did homework though, so my grades never reflected that). But here's the thing: In school, whether it was high school or college, if you flunked a test, it was no big deal. Even if you failed the class, it was no big deal. In high school you got shuffled to the next one, in college you retake it. But for this job? If you get under an 80% you get FIRED. Yeah, fired. You have two attempts to get 80% or better. And they are tricky, hard, angry questions. I don't really stress too much, but I can tell I panic the day of the test because usually I fly through a test and can score high. No, I am so paranoid, that it takes me nearly an hour and a half to answer 30 questions.

But I am still gainfully employed thus far and will study my little butt off.

If all goes well, I graduate training on Wednesday and start on the job training or "nesting" on Thursday. Soon I will be all growed up! sniff, sniff!

I can't wait. I just hope my first live phone call isn't something I can't fix, or it's not just a transfer. That would be lame.

I made gift jars for a lot of Brian's family (and some of mine) I made chocolate chip cookie mix and hot chocolate mix, and got it all ready to go. Except my kitchen is now a mess (like its ever clean) and there is flour, sugar, and bittersweet cocoa powder all over!

Hope that you all are having a safe Christmas, don't get trampled by any crazy people who forgot wrapping paper while you are out and about! Lord knows how nuts those freaks are! (Just wrap it in newspaper, fercryin'outloud!)

Friday, December 17, 2010

The One About The Chiropractor

I had my first visit today. Let me start off by saying he's really really awesome. Firstly, no stupid xrays! Secondly, no preaching about my weight! And he didn't have to use any pressure or anything on my knee to get it back in place.

He told me that knee adjustment was painful but he has whiskey and some sticks to bite down on if I need them. I thought he was kidding. He was only kidding about the whiskey and the sticks.

He massaged the muscles surrounding my knee and then put my legs on either side of his and told me to push in while he pushed outward, which worked out those muscles. That was it! That was my adjustment.

He also did my entire spine. I've never had my spine completely crack but he got every single vertebra! It was really cool. The section in between my shoulder blades has never, ever cracked. It did today and I instantly felt relief. It was very awesome. I'm like on a high from it!!

My knee is tender now though, because he really massaged the muscles and he was actually surprised I wasn't making any noise. I was gritting my teeth and told him "yeah, it hurts, but it's nothing compared to the actual pain"

He was impressed. I am bad ass what can I say? ;)

I do have to get insoles for my shoes though. Turns out, not only am I flat footed beyond all belief, but I also have a shorter left leg than a right leg. By an inch! So no wonder my back was all FUBAR.

I have no idea how much it will cost. I know I need them because I have needed them all my life, for my ankle and what not, so it will be nice to have them again.

He said to slap some heat on my knee if its bothering me. I go in again on Monday.

I am very excited about this guy. He is somewhat of a gamer (when he has time), loves 3D, and he doesn't believe in xrays. I told him you all were wanting to see pics, so he told me to just do an image search, pick the most messed up one I could find, and say I had that. LOL. He also said that my knee wasn't very bad either, I hadn't done any lasting damage.

I also didn't have to pay for anything today. I have a high deductible insurance, but a health savings plan, so he said once he figures it out, I can pay him then. Super cool. Now I can pay all my bills :)

He seems like a very level headed, no non-sense kind of guy. But then again, he also has a limited edition Harry Potter Hogwarts train for his Christmas tree, so he isn't a total prude. We actually got to talking. He's really easy to talk to, and he doesn't use any fancy technical terms. He isn't into acupuncture (though it does work) and he does do massages (hot stone, etc) but says it isn't required for proper care. It feels really good though, I can tell you that much. And my insurance covers part of it, so its like a discount!

All in all, I am very glad that I did my research. He was impressed that I was losing weight, highly recommended Weight Watchers, and told me not to be afraid to exercise, because it will only strengthen my knee. I can't wait to go back.

Bottom line: No x-rays, no surgery, 100% fixable.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

500th Post Vlog Spectacular

This is it... the moment you have all been waiting for! The 500th post spectacular!!

Chicken Cordon Bleu Recipe (the Christie Way)

-4 servings of chicken breast (3-5 oz each), thawed, pounded flat to 1/4-1/2 inch
-4 slices of ham
-4 slices of Swiss cheese (I used Fat Free)

-Preheat the oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit.
-Lightly spray a baking pan (9x13 should do) with olive oil/cooking spray
-Cut each chicken breast lengthwise almost in half and open up.
-Place one piece of ham and one piece of cheese in each slit, close chicken flap.
-Pin in place with toothpicks if you want, be sure to remove them after baking though.
-Cook uncovered, for 15-20 minutes, or until chicken is done and juices run clear.

Now when I was fat, I used to put toothpicks in the chicken to hold it all together, then coat each piece of chicken in mayo, and then coat in seasoned bread crumbs. It makes very juicy chicken, but you can get a similar taste if you just follow my cooking tips under the recipes. Actually I was skinny when I discovered this recipe, but still, its very fattening and a waste of perfectly good mayo that can go on a sandwich.

Christie's Awesome Seasoned Potatoes

-12 oz of red potatoes, scrubbed and cut into wedges, skin still on. 
-Hidden Valley Ranch powdered seasoning. Just a pinch
- 1 Tblsp garlic powder or seasoned salt. 
- 2 Tblsp butter, melted. 

Mix your seasonings with the butter and pour over your potato wedges. Cover with foil and bake at 400 for 50-60 minutes until tender.

Bonus: Awesome dip- Mix together 1/4 c each of fat free sour cream and fat free mayo with 2 T of the ranch powder, mix, and chill for at least 30 minutes. This is really good to dip your potatoes in.

Did you all like the vlog? Tell me what you thought about it! Do you want me to do another one sometime? Do you never want to see my face again? It's okay, let me know!

Upcoming Posts:

I am going to the chiropractor on Friday (tomorrow) morning so I will have an update on that. Hopefully my doctor is really cool and will let me show pics of my xrays. I think I have what is called a "luxating patella" but will know for sure tomorrow.

I also have to do my "Then and Now" pics. I will also do a pants comparison, since I am down 2 full jeans sizes and shirts too. How fun!

Special thank you to my sweet and wonderful husband, who so kindly helped me shoot and edit this video. Who am I kidding, he edited the whole thing. :) Thanks, Brian.

Could I Possibly Be Normal?

Uh yeah! I think I can be. In fact, I am!!

Last night, Brian and I went on a mission. This lady needed some new clothes! All my clothes are too big, so I was going to buy a pair of jeans.

I am comfortably wearing size 16Ws right now, soon to be just plain ol' 16s though, as mine are almost too big already!

I found the most lovely fleece-like jacket and decided to try it on. I usually get my jackets a little big, so I feel snuggly. I tried on a 1X. I was swimming in it! So then I had to move over to the "Misses" (aka "normal sized") section. I put on the XL, thinking "Well, at least its a Misses and not a Plus" but once again, it was too big!

Dare I try on a L? Am I only setting myself up for disappointment? Brian talked me into trying it. So I slip it on and it is just perfect. Not tight, a little roomy, and I can zip it up all the way! Bonuuuuus!

So my friends, I have at least one pair of jeans and one winter jacket to get me through until Spring when I will likely need new clothes again.

I'm effin' NORMAL!!! A large will soon be a medium, and a pair of 16s may very well be a 14.

My "goal" sizes are medium tops and size 10 pants. But wherever I happen to be when I hit 175 will be perfect for me.

I think this is the first time I've been happy about my shrinking bewbies

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Week 11 Weigh In

Weight Watchers is telling me its Wednesday, and you know what that means!! Weigh in!! YAY

I am down to 213.4 lbs. This is the littlest I have weighed in the last two years. It's a big accomplishment. It means I broke that plateau!! Some people lose weight before they hit a plateau, I hit a plateau before losing weight. I would gain and lose the same weight over and over again....

Not anymore. In the 11 weeks I have been on WW I have lost an average of 1.5 lbs a week.  To date, on program, I have lost 16.6 lbs! But what really matters is that I am sooo close to having lost 25 lbs from my all time highest weight of 237.5. I am at 24.1 lbs. Next week is my week. I feel it!!

Things that I didn't go crazy over this week:

-We ordered pizza. And breadsticks. I am awful about that stuff. In fact, I ate 42 points worth in one sitting. Truth be told I hadn't eaten all day, and I was pretty bummed out at the turn of events that day, so yes, I ate all of my daily points in pizza and only 8 weekly points, so it really wasn't that bad. Still, thats a lot of bad food to be eating in one go and did my tummy let me know it!!

-The knee is seriously impacting my day to day now. It hurts to pretty much do anything. Friday is my first appointment, so I am happy about that.

Non-Scale Changes:

I wouldn't really call these "victories" per se, but they are changes. 

-I have learned that pants do not sit right below your tits when you wear them. Some of them sit at your hips, others at your waist. This is as high as pants should go. I am notorious for Urkeling my pants because I want to cover up my belly flab- to make it look "smoother" if not a little smaller- and this is a hard habit to break. I found that "skinny" jeans work well for breaking this habit. I have to learn to wear my pants like a normal person. I have to own that I still have a gut. Why be ashamed of it any more? Its no different than wearing a girdle. I don't wear girdles. I own one, but I don't wear it.

-In line with the pants debacle, I have also noticed all of my work out clothes are too big. Apparently, if your ass falls out while you are doing the downward facing dog, your husband thinks you are trying to tempt him with a little bedroom action. You may get a surprise when you aren't looking...not that that is a bad thing!

-More ass news! I've never see anyone mention this, so I might as well. When you are bigger, there are certain activities that are more difficult to do. Namely, its hard to wipe thoroughly when you go to the bathroom. Reaching back there, you could pull a muscle. Or you might get toilet paper stuck in between your butt cheeks. Or when your ass itches, you have to dig your way through the flab first. It can also be difficult to wash, because its easy to not get all the soap out (which can make you itchy lol) I have noticed that I have not had one of those problems lately. In fact, last night, I was laying in bed scratching, and I was marveled at the size of my butt. It's so tiny!

-Ok, no more ass news! YAY! Another thing I have noticed though, is that I have a lot more moles than I thought I did. They are peeking out of fat folds, hiding under my shrinking boobs, and on my inner thighs. I freak out whenever I find one, asking Brian if they have always been there. He tells me they have, which is strange, because I don't remember them. I guess my range of motion is increasing a bit as well as my fat stores are having a liquidation sale, so I am just now seeing them.

-My boobs! They are shrinking!! When I was my heaviest I was a 44DD (or larger). My bust was 48 inches across its fullest point (my hips were 51) and I am now a 40DD (40") When I was thin, I was a 36-38DD so I am not too worried. Considering I have another 40ish pounds to lose until I get back to my hot weight, I will likely be a 38D. No more double. I've also lost an incredible 4.5" off my stubborn hips. I have no idea about my waist though. Apparently every time I measure it, I am picking a different spot, so my data is all jacked up. Its shrinking though. I can see my feet.

So as a wrap up, I've lost a total of 24 lbs (16.6 in 11 weeks!) I need new clothes, my ass doesn't itch as much, and my boobs are shrinking.

I'd say thats a good week!

Still working on the vlog. I've recruited Brian to "help me" (read as: "take over and do it") as I shot all the video, and I am tired of looking at it. It will be done in no time. I have to bounce, I have a test to study for today and I need all the time I can get. Have a good one!!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

It's a White Christmas Experiment

Note: I apologise, but I am having serious tech issues with the vlog, I am working on it. Its just more time consuming than I thought it was going to be. Hope to get it up before weigh in tomorrow. It's super awesome, so please don't think I am blowing it off. 

I have been digging through Rachel Wilkerson's blog archive lately and found this gem of a blog post: The Oral Exam

Basically, she started a series called Beauty Booty where you could see what beauty products she uses and what does/doesn't work, etc. If you are a twenty-something you will definitely love her blog. Her no nonsense attitude and just how she writes is hilarious. I love her blog to bits.

Anyway, this blog is all about white teeth. She recommends using Crest Whitening Strips and Listerine Whitening Mouthwash (a pre-brush rinse). She says that you should definitely whiten your teeth because its something you can do *now* to feel good about yourself while you are working on other things (losing weight/waiting for your results to show) And I was in need of some major instant gratification.

I ran out to the store and bought the 10-day pack of white strips ($ time I am using a coupon) and the smallest bottle of whitening wash ($5)

I did the rinse, and looked at my teeth. Now my teeth aren't bad by any means, in fact, I am constantly complimented on how straight they are and how much enamel I have. I was lucky enough to get some awesome recessive gene, I guess, because neither of my parents have super thick enamel on their teeth.

But I wanted white teeth. So I decided to do the 10 Days of Whitening count down to a White Christmas. I didn't even realize that there are 10 short days until Christmas, so this was perfect.

My goal is to take a picture of my teeth every day after I do the rinse 2x and the strips once daily. At the end of 10 days I will make a slideshow out of it. Pretty cool, huh? That way you can see how white my teeth get in only 10 days for $30. I am pretty sure the mouth wash will last me longer than 10 days.

Once I do that, maintenance will be easy: I will do the strips once every 3 months, and continue with the whitening rinse daily. I think because I drink so much coffee now, I will have to remain vigilant.

I can already tell my teeth are gleaming. I wonder if they can actually get any whiter? I'll know in 10 days!

The Listerine is pretty cool. Both literally, and figuratively! You start off with 1/2 oz of liquid and as you swish it around for a minute (intense) it becomes foam. And then when you spit, you spit foam. Now the first time I did it, I accidentally measured out a whole ounce and my mouth couldn't handle all the foam, I looked like a rabid dog. I was much more careful the second time.

Also: I peeked at the scale- 213.4!! Which is the lowest number I've seen in the last 2 years. I hope to lose a total of 5 lbs by Christmas so I better get back to working out.

Friday, December 10, 2010

The Devil Incarnate

I found him. The devil. Satan. Beelzebub. I found the Morning Star, the Fallen Angel. What ever you want to call him. I prefer to call him...

Found at
The Weight Watchers Ice Cream Candy Bar.

This little slice of heaven is now 4 PointsPlus. But that didn't stop me buying it, opening the package in the car, devouring one on the way home, and eating two more inside of an hour of getting home. No.

Nor did it stop me from eating one this morning.

Along with 2 blueberry bagels.

My inner glutton won.

But you know what?? They just get more delicious. Arent you supposed to, I dont know, find each one less satisfying the more you eat? Isn't that what everyone says?

They have never tried this. Because if they had, they would start whistling a different tune.

PS. I apologize if I got all of Satan's names wrong. I'm not very up to date on my terminology.

I got to go. I need to eat another one of those candy bars go to class

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Workout: Arms and Buns

I did 2 workouts yesterday off of the 10 Minute Solution: Target Toning. I did the arms and buns. It was a lot of fun, however, I only earned 1 ap because it was a light effort. Still, light effort or not, I am sore today. I used my new 3lb weights. I upgraded from 2 lbs, and I could definitely feel the difference. My biceps are sore, which definitely means one thing: They exist!!

Thats exciting news!! I would love to have real guns some day.

I did the bun workout too as I mentioned and I didn't find it that hard, but you know what? My ass is sure sore today, and all the back of my leg is too.

Unfortunately I couldn't do any more than just those 2 workouts because my knee is really acting up. I am sure you are all sick of my whining but its effecting my day to day. Next week I will be able to go to the chiro and get that taken care off. I really need my knee adjusted.

Maybe he will let me take pics of my xrays so I can show you how effed up my knee is and what it is doing to me. Last time I went, he said that I still had all of my cartilage but my knee cap is out of place, and the muscle attached is incredibly weak. I am worried that I am losing cartilage, or worse, getting bone spurs. So definitely, the sooner the better.

Tomorrow is payday, which means part one of my vlog will be under way. I won't say what it is, but I hope that you guys like it. Saturday will be the rest of it, and it should be up late Saturday night/early Sunday morning.

I am also going to do a bonus video because I am renting Zumba Fitness for the Kinect, and I will be testing that out and showing you how ridiculous  sexy I dance.

Its also time for some photographic evidence as well. Probably early next week, maybe Wednesday at the latest, I am going to upload some before and now pics. Some will be from my wedding day/graduation/etc and of course how I look now.

I can finally see a difference in how I looked 2 months ago, so I think its time to show you guys too!

And lastly, but not least, I want to say thank you to all of my commenters, friends, and lurkers. While I enjoy the sound of my own voice, its great knowing you guys listen or at least laugh with me.

I never imagined anyone other than my gramma and mom would read my blog and I can't believe I've gotten so many followers now. I like all 62 of you.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Weigh In Week Something or Other

Wednesday! Its Weigh In Day!

I weigh 214.4! In total, since the beginning of October, I have lost 15.6 lbs on Weight Watchers. I have also lost 23.1 pounds in total since I hit my highest weight of all time!!

YAY!! Is it just me or is that freaking fantastic?!?!

That's another 1.8 pounds down!! Soon I wont be a fat ass anymore. I will be a skinny bitch!! YAY!!

Can you tell I am excited? I sure can!

I am only a mere 7.4 pounds away from my 10% goal. So close, I can taste it. I will get there. I will not give up. I am also only a mere 14.4 pounds away from 200!!

I think this is week 10! Holy crap!! That means my average weight loss per week is a pound and a half. That is right smack dab in the middle of what they say it will be on Weight Watchers.

I don't know about you, but a pound and a half a week is awesome. I will gladly take any downward movement.

Post 497- Just a few more until my vlog!! I can't wait!! I will probably have to stop blogging for a day or so so I can get this done on the weekend. I really want to do my vlog right now, but unfortunately, I have to wait until payday. Keep your panties on, its coming soon. (LOL- sounds naughty)

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Goals for the Week

Its post 496- That means the VLOG Spectacular will happen this weekend! I can't wait!

Lets post up some goals for the week- after all, goals that aren't written down are just wishes!

1.) We all know that I have issues with fruit. I'm not a fan. Particularly because of texture. But I posted this to my facebook/twitter friends "Now that fruit is 0 points on Weight Watchers, give me some to try!"

I got great responses from people, everything from pineapple to Clementines, to kiwi berries!

2.) Try out Zumba for the Kinect. I am going to rent it and see how I like it before I buy. With my knee being uncooperative though, I am going to have to take it easy.

3.) Try a new recipe. This can include my fruit of the week, but it can also be something different. The rule though: It must be something I have never made/had before.

This week is all about pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

What are some of your goals for the week? Is it something attainable or something a little too lofty?

I think the key to success is to push yourself a little bit each day/week/month to make yourself better. Whether its for weight loss or not, its hard to change if you remain the same.

I have some other goals I want to do as well but can't yet tackle them. They aren't really goals yet-- just wishes as I haven't written them down. I want to think about it a little more.

It is almost officially Wednesday- no weigh in tonight though, that's for tomorrow. Though we all know I lost right? Its a big loss again this week too. Very exciting. I am very happy and proud of myself. So much more than I ever thought I would be. I have to constantly reframe my thinking though. I catch myself saying "I've only lost 15 pounds since October" but I have to rephrase it! I dont mean to demean my weight loss. I guess its because I havent lost enough to be in Onederland that I feel that way. But, honestly, no matter who you are or what size you are 15 lbs is a nice chunk of change so far. I also think about the big picture- That I have lost 23 lbs so far since I got married.

And that, that makes it seem so much more... real.

I am constantly in awe of me.

Days Go By

Well it is officially Tuesday now. The day before the weigh. 

Not that that *really* matters, since I weigh myself every day. 

Today I forgot to weigh myself until after I ate breakfast and I was fully clothed. Normally I weigh myself naked. I am pretty sure this is normal. 

The number on the scale surprised me, because I weighed 215.6 with clothes on. Without clothes, I weighed 214.5

I don't know about you, but that number makes me happy for a few reasons. 1) It means that naked I actually weigh less 2) That I have lost all the weight that I had gained and then some, and most importantly, I think 3) I am down 23.0 lbs since my highest weight ever. EVER. I guess it snuck up on me. Its hard to believe I have lost over that much, even though it took TWO years.

I never gave up (completely)
I was (somewhat) determined to make a change
I kept trying (half assed at least)

What does 23 pounds mean?

It means that I have lost 37% of the weight I wanted.
It means that I am only 2 lbs away from losing 25 lbs- no small amount of weight!
It means that I am doing this. 

The last time that I weighed 214, I remember it. It was shortly after I was married- not more than two weeks, I would guess. I was taking a weight loss drug. An expensive one. $135 a month. It worked so well for a while, in as little as 6 weeks I lost 23 pounds. I was so proud of myself. I wasn't eating much at all, just once a day. I hadn't eaten anything at all the day I stepped on the scale
Shortly after, however, the pills quit working. The low carb lifestyle quit working, all I wanted was bread bread pasta bread and more pasta. I regained the weight. I was still depressed. I was not in my happy place. 

Now, however- Life is great, its wonderful, its grand. It's everything I remember it being. And I don't feel that way because I lost weight, I lost weight because I feel this way. I have found what makes me happy (working! who knew!) I have a great husband, a supportive family (my mom eats all the peanut butter m&ms so I don't have to!) a nice apartment, a quiet life, and of course, Weight Watchers. 

Its been nearly 17 months since I started this journey. That's an average of 510 days. I shudder to think of my weight if I had not gained control of it. I think I would weigh 510 pounds.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Electroshock "Therapy"

I am on a quest for a chiropractor. I have decided that I really need to go, because my knee is killing me. It aches all the time. It grinds more than usual.

But you see... we had a chiropractor. Except he was a hippy. And I know, by definition, most chiropractors are hippies, they don't do surgeries, and they are all touchy feely. I get it.

But what I don't like, is when you are watching your husband in horrible, crippling pain and the chiro tells you that he won't do an adjustment and that you need to do shock therapy 5 days a week and charges you $80 a session for it. And still wont do any adjustments! Not only that, but gives nothing for the pain and tells you that you can't go to work either. Which means you aren't making money to pay for the bastard's sports car.

That irritates me.

I used to have a good one but he is 45 minutes away and that is just not feasible for going 3+ times a week to get my knee adjusted.  I also have insurance now, which is nice.

It was a hard choice, deciding to go to the chiro because I also need new glasses/contacts and I can't do both. Which is more important, being able to see + being a cripple, or squinting but able to get on with life?

The glasses can wait. The knee, that may be irreversible the longer I wait. All that grinding... can't be good.

Also I ate a lot of pizza this weekend. FYI Double "bacon" 6 cheese. I think it was more like canadian bacon (which we all know is ham, like a canadian goose is really a duck*)

*Note: No its really a goose but if you tell someone that they get all confused and lets face it, geese are funny looking.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Not Afraid to Act A Fool

Brian had one of his buddies over tonight and of course, we had to show off the kinect. And of course, that means I had to dance. HAD to, I was forced I tell you!

I showed off my mad skillz. I really do enjoy it! Then I did some really hard songs on hard difficulty and was clueless. Lost. Hopeless.

Yeah, I looked like a fool. But I loved every moment of it. It was so much fun, and I earned 2 APs as well. I also had 3 pieces of pizza and a few breadsticks. (Which was a whopping 32 points plus, if you can believe that!)

I also had some French toast today too, which is surprisingly easy to make on WW. Why is it easy? I used egg beaters, which is just egg whites. The worst part of making french toast is when you have to crack open the eggs and scramble them. But egg beaters takes that all out. Also if you leave your bread out so it gets kind of dry, it soaks up more egg, which gives it a custard-center when you make it. I didnt have the time (read: didnt want to wait) to let my bread dry out, so I slapped it in the toaster, on a very low setting and toasted it until it basically dried out. BEST. TOAST. EVER.

Knee-d Some Help?

Last night, I danced for 40 minutes, earning 4 AP+s and hurting my knee. Again. I know, it's been one long knee-hurting fest for me since October's Zumba incident. It hurts probably one or two days a week, but only if I dance or something.

Let me back up a little. Some of you don't know this. I've always had trouble with my right knee. It hurts a lot if its put in any one position for more than a few hours. I have to stretch it out or it will become so painful. When I was about 17ish, I finally went to a chiropractor to see what the dealio was. He took some xrays and it turns out my kneecap is not in its "groove"

See the patella? That beige piece in the middle? That's the knee cap. The white part is where its sits, it has a natural groove in it. My knee cap is about an inch to the right of its natural resting place. This means that my knee grinds a lot. Bending down especially makes it sound like it is wrenching. There are exercises I can do, and used to do all the time, and it really helped. 

I have started doing them again. There is a muscle attached to the patella (not pictured) on the inside that when you bike, or extend your leg to a 45 degree angle works that muscle out. I need to do those again. 

I am also thinking of going to the chiropractor again and having it adjusted. That's the nice thing about insurance- you can do the things you want or need to do. I'm sure regular exercise will help too. I vaguely recall my last chiropractor telling me if I lost weight I would have less of a problem.... I weighed 175 at the time. I can't imagine what he would say now. Something along the lines of "get your fat ass moving" I suppose. 

Just 7 more posts until my Vlog Spectacular. It's exciting, isn't it?? Paula wants me to cook. Will I? You can guarantee that food will be in my vlog! And if there is food, there is cheese. Its one of the rules. I have it all planned out. It will be a lot of fun!

Friday, December 3, 2010

How I Earned Activity Points Today

I had my first test for my new job today, and I was very anxious and getting rather frustrated that we weren't able to take it yet, so I had a lot of energy to burn. I decided I was going to just spend part of my break doing dance central- listen to some good music, sweat a little, just to get all the negative thoughts out of my head.

It turns out I spent nearly all of my break- 20 of my 30 minutes- dancing. I earned 2 APs dancing, which was great, and I also worked out some of my frustrations. I was so tired after! but also very happy! I danced to "Evacuate the Dancefloor" by Cascada, "Hey Mami" by Fannypack, "I Know You Want Me" by Calle Ocho and "Maneater" by Nelly Furtado. I really love Maneater- I tried it for the first time on medium difficulty and rocked it. I then played it two more times, upping my high score each time.

I want to go and dance some more.

I passed my test with an 83% as well. I will definitely have to study harder though the second test, because some of my classmates got like upper 90s and while I am happy I passed, I wasn't the best. I actually had to take it twice. Sigh. Next time though, I will know better.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

I am a LIAR

Yes you read that right, I am indeed, a liar. If you are my mother, you have known this for years. If you are anyone else, you may have suspected as much.

You see, once upon a time, I wrote that I would, and I quote "never switch to lowfat/fat free cheese, I love it too much"

But I was wrong. I have indeed switched. The reason? Simple. I am a cheese whore. I cannot control myself around cheese. Cheese is like the ex boyfriend you know isn't any good for you but damn the sex is great, so you keep going back for more. Not that I had any boyfriends like that, all the ones who were bad for me were also bad in bed, but I imagine that is what it is like. Thats how romance novels say it is, anyway. The point being I cannot control myself around cheese. I love it too much. In my house we have one rule: Don't waste cheese. I am not kidding. Ask Brian. Ask him what the rules of the house are.

We don't waste cheese.

Now that my salacious ways with cheese have been exposed, I have done the sensible thing. I have switched over to fat free or low fat versions of cheese. Its not an item I am willing to cut out of my diet completely, I will "settle" for a lighter version simply because I cannot get over cheese. I stalk it on facebook. I wonder who that other whore is with it, I text it in the middle of the night. "Hey baby, I got some bread and some butter and I am thinking about you xoxo"

I can cut out pizza, I can give up chocolate, I can give up sugar, sweets, butter, cream, milk, yogurt, chicken, steak, etc but I can not, give up cheese.

So there you have it, my public shame. I am a cheese whore. Give me a scarlet letter if you will. I wear it proudly.

Today is post 490- we are getting there!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Weekly Weigh In: Week 10 Wednesday

(Post 489)
Yay its Weigh in Day! 

So time to hop on the scale and take my weight! 

Today's number is 216.2 which is down 1.8 from last week. I was down 3 but then got sick. Still, as I always say, any downward movement is good, so I am quite pleased with myself. Almost 2 lbs a week is a fantastic, safe rate of weight loss, and I am very happy. 

Today marks the first full week of PointsPlus on the new WW plan. I was mistaken earlier, I want to correct it: The new plan does not count calories into the points equation. It is only carbs, fat, fiber, and protein- which make up the total calorie count of any product Sorry if there was any confusion, that was a "my bad". 

I am on my lunch break, again. This time I am making dinner, I am going to have chicken and noodles again. I love chicken and noodles. It's actually very tasty and makes me feel better about life, the universe, everything. 

What else is going on? Hmm not a whole lot. I was very sick this week. Started off with a cold then sort of escalated to an almost-flu. I spent most of yesterday battling to not regurgitate. Thankfully I work at home, so I didn't have to go into the office or anything! Brian even told me "You look awful" haha I bet I do.

I have also put a little thought into what I am going to do for my 500th Vlog Spectacular (That's the working name; subject to change) Paula said she wanted to see me cook- Right back at'cha! 

What wonderful Christie-meal should I do? I don't really have the makings for lasagna, or enchiladas, or really anything at the moment. If I did do a cooking one, it would have to be after the 10th, when I get paid. (First paycheck!!) I'm trying to think of some of my other awesome meals that I make, and really all I can come up with is spaghetti (which you've seen) and lasagna (which you've mostly seen) as well as enchiladas (which are horribly Americanized- but still delicioso if I must say so myself) 
I could do my chicken cordon bleu, or my chicken spinach rollups. Those are the bomb (dot com) and they are gobbled up really really fast. Or I can do my baked mac and cheese, which is really really good as well. Not exactly pointsplus friendly, but then again, thats what your weekly is for! Save those points for my Vlog because you are going to go "Mmmm!" 

I can't wait- I already have some awesome ideas for editing it and some other surprises too. Now my chicken is probably almost done boiling, I have to add in my noodles. I am so hungry. 

Later, Gators!