Friday, April 30, 2010

Shredded Beef Enchiladas.

I bought a roast last night and decided I would slap it in the slow cooker and make some shredded beef for enchiladas and the left overs would be perfect for sandwiches.

After it had started to cook, I remembered that it was a Curves day, meaning I would be out of town all day, unable to make enchiladas before my husband had to go to work. Aww. Well he can have a sandwich of shredded beef and make some mac and cheese, he thinks this sounds yummy and easy enough to do.

When I get home, I can make up the enchiladas, rolling the tortillas and everything. I even got some green chillies for them, the first time that I have ever used them. Hubby likes a bit of spice, me? well I am a bit of a wuss when it comes to spice.

I found a good recipe on for shredded beef a la slow cooker.
I have snuck a tasty taste, and so far it is delicious. I didnt buy a great cut of beef, but a decent one and I have to say that it is turning out to be quite tender. Its only been 4 hours and its already so juicy. Wow, I am getting hungry smelling it. Its time for bed.

xo I will let you all know how it turned out. Be jealous. And Paula, if you read this one today, its because I am so JEALOUS of your yummy food your hubby makes you, that I wanted to do this today.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Feeling sleepy...

I have had a fun filled couple of days as of lately. Went to see Craig Ferguson last night with my Gramma. We had a great time!

That being said, I am very very VERY tired and sore. My ankle is still acting up from Monday, so Wednesday just put a little more stress on it than usual. I feel a bit better today but I can't do a lot of walking. Which sucks.

I rode Stella for a mile and a half today. Trying to get back into it. I pedaled as fast as I could and I got my heart rate WAY up, managed it in 6 minutes even.

I am trying to make myself believe I can do this whole weight loss thing. Am starting to get a bit discouraged and it is very upsetting.

I need to step it up a notch, I looked back on what I have accomplished and to be honest, weight wise, its pathetic. In 12 weeks, I have lost 15 lbs. I gained a couple when I stopped tracking. I havent lost anymore inches, and thankfully havent gained any either. I need to get back in the habit of doing a bit every day. Push for 500 calories of exercise.
I also did a lot of cleaning today, which was very exhausting.

I have been working on my blanket and have managed to crochet quite a lot in the past three days, I have done 6 rows! woohoo! Thats two rows a day. An hour a day and the blanket is on its way!

Yesterday at Curves mom and I both worked very hard, but it seemed like we didnt, which is peculiar. As I said previously, they want my pulse in the 130-140 range for my age. It was still in the upper 160s when I checked it, and I was definitely going a lot slower this time around. I plan on taking my pulse the moment I walk in the door to see what my resting rate is. I know I could do it now counting and blah blah blah but they have a fancy machine with a digital readout.

Oohh. Digital.

Tomorrow is a Curves day as well. We also have to tan and do our manicures too. Its hard work being beautiful. Something tells me its also hard work being thin... ;)

Think thin. Think Thin. Its only food. It does not control me.

Now, with that being said, its time to get my arse off the couch and make a grocery list. I noticed I love cooking more with fresh ingredients, which should come as no surprise. I love to cook, but I love the amount of effort it takes to make everything myself. Like grating my own cheeses and making my own sauces. It also helps me control how many calories are in things and also what is NOT in it, like High Fructose/Sucrose/Maltose syrup.

One companys breakfast bars or cereal bars, something, said that they dont have high fructose corn syrup in them and that is TRUE however they had high maltose syrup in them and anything ending in -ose is a sugar product. Besides the words "high" and "syrup" should be a clue. Context clues, I has them.

Hubby wants me to make enchiladas this week, and I want to make them with shredded beef, and we can also use the other half for shredded beef sammiches. I have a good list of items and I hope that he is excited for what I am going to make.

Im also out of water. Our tap water tastes like chlorine and well, radiation! Blech! Need the good stuff.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Physically Drained

Yesterday was a very intense workout at Curves.
I hurt ALL over.

My bad ankle is particularly sore, I think I had a little too much bounce in my step. Today? Rest day. Lots of sleep. It helps a lot, lets my body mend my hurts. Also, I didn't get to sleep until about 8 am this morning.

Why am I even up you ask? I was hungry. So I had breakfast. Then I started to crochet a bit and got into that, but now my wrists and shoulders are kindly asking me to stop by sending sharp shooting pain all the way up and down my arm.

Aww. :( Thats okay, I got a row and some done, which is nice because I had to do a color change and that is always a bit tricky for me but today! Today I did it fantastically.

I better go back to bed, as tomorrow will be another great day. Curves with mom and then I have to get ready to go to see Craig Ferguson with my grandma! Woohoo! She thinks he's such a total hottie and I cant believe how excited she is to go see him. It will be great!

Thanks to mom, for buying the tickets. Im surprised we even got in, as it was less than 48 hours til show time by the time I had known about it.

Last time my gramma and I had a "girls night" like this was when we went to go see Cats!
Night night all. zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Monday, April 26, 2010

Its a Curves Day

We went to Curves today.
Once again, my tag didnt work. Not sure what is going on there.
I was going to get the CurveSmart tag too but the computer was down, decided to put it off until Wednesday maybe.

I was working way too hard. In fact, mom was too. We were way outside of our target heart range. For my age range, I was supposed to have a target heart range of 137 at max. I took my pulse and it was 173! lol no wonder I felt like I was going to have a heart attack!

My legs feel like jelly. Eating has been on target yesterday and today, so far. Trying my hardest to continue to stay on track.

Today I feel good. I drove to my hometown, I even went to the store. I even talked to people today. I didn't do my weigh in or anything today though because I got up late and was in a bit of a rush. Tomorrow.

I am looking forward to Wednesday going to Curves again and hopefully it will feel a little easier. I pushed myself today and though it sucked at the time (being sweaty, having trouble breathing, the mini heart attack lol) I feel loads better. Like I accomplished something.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Iron out the Wrinkles

I had to buy an iron today.
I dont own one.
I dont own a mop either.
But my apartment has about 4 square feet of linoleum.
I dont need one really.

I do own a broom though.

Not the point. I needed to buy an iron TODAY
Tomorrow is a very special day and very iron-worthy.

I didnt buy an ironing board though.
I would never use it, other than just this one time.
Im not even sure I will use the iron again, to be honest.

For the first year that I had moved out of my parents', I didnt even own a hairdryer. Didn't need one. Until I needed one once. Its pink.

Likewise I am thinking that is the fate of my iron. Except its purple.
Oh, and my mom is borrowing it to iron her curtains. She didnt have an iron either. We think we may have sold it in a garage sale.

What Bike Rides Have Taught Me

I have been sitting on this idea since our last bike ride and I am pleased to say it translates well into real life.

On our bike ride, going up hill was hard work, even though it was a slight hill. I would curse, pedal harder and complain that I should have bought a mountain bike anyway.

But as I stopped at the crest of the small hill, one thing floated into my mind, and sat there, fixed and shining:

The hardest part about stopping is getting started again.

And it was true. It took more effort for me to stop and start again, than it did to keep going (I field tested it lol)

Its also true in life, especially weight loss. Its easy to stop tracking. To think oh I dont need to. But I really do. And the longer I quit doing it, the more tedious it was to pick up again. Im proud to say I am tracking everything that has passed my lips today. Its not even that hard either.

In fact, BEFORE it passes my lips, it gets put into my iPhone. I think that is how I have to do it. Anyone have any better apps for the iPhone? I tried Fatsecret and couldnt get the hang of it, also tried Lose it! and that one sucks too. I'll just have to type it all in manually I suppose.

Monday hoping to get the Curvesmart tag, then I can see how much I really burn! Looking at the website it said that larger members (me) would start out by only burning 125-175 calories in half an hour, while fitter members (not me) would burn as much as 500, according to a study they did.

This was also while they followed the Curves diet.

I am not on the Curves diet nor do I really feel the need to start it. I am just a pig, an overeater. I just need to trim portion sizes and get used to it. also eat slower. I inhale my food. Like a vacuum.

I made a great lunch, quick and easy. In fact I call it Quick and Easy Sweet and Sour Chicken

3 oz of cooked chicken breast strips, chopped in bite size pieces- 100 calories
1 cup Uncle Bens instant white rice-200 calories
1 large egg- 70 calories
2 Tbsp Kikkoman Sweet and Sour sauce- 35 calories

Scramble and cook the egg while you are microwaving the 90 sec pouch of rice. Add (half) rice to the skillet along with chicken strips, cook until heated through.
Plate it and then drizzle with sauce. Ta da!

Now I made this for hubby too, so I used a 6oz bag of chicken and the whole two cups of rice, but I portioned mine out as I plated it and gave the rest to hubby. Add 1 Tbsp of Reduced Sodium Soy sauce (10 cals) if you want.

Yields: 1 or 2 servings, depending.
Calories: 405
Satisfying: ****1/2

Its not quite real chinese food but its delicious none the less and satisfied the craving. Also only takes 5-7 minutes, max.

Crunching the numbers

I mentioned before that I love crunching numbers. That is probably why I do the household budget. Its also VERY VERY BAD. Let me explain:

I crunch the numbers not because I like the number or we are BFFs or anything. I crunch numbers to see what I have and to see what I can get away with.
I write down all of our bills and then add it all up and then I average, per week, what we would have to make and spend on bills. Then I see what we have left over. So I can spend it. On stupid things that I cant even remember at the moment. Soda. Watches. Clothes.

I do the same with my calories. I have been off program for a few days or so. *coughweekcoughcough*
Tomorrow am starting fresh. 1400. I am deciding how I want to break it down. I am awake for about 15 hours a day, probably less most days. But we will stick with 15 because its an easy, rounding number.

Lets say I eat 5 times a day. I can make it so I can eat exactly 280 calories at a meal, 5 times a day, once every three hours. Wow! But that probably wont sustain me.

If I eat three times a day, I can have 466 calories, but that means I can only eat once every 5 hours. That doesnt sound fun at all. Except for the more calories.

See what I mean, I spend hours on this, trying to weasel out how many calories I can have at any certain given time.

In other news, I balanced the budget today to take my mind off food. I wondered if I could weasel out $25 for my curves smart tag and also another $25 for a manicure this week as well as another $20 for my tanning. Also I checked out apartments in Tulsa, OK! not moving there, but hubby applied for a job out there, so had to do my research.

Also went furniture browsing online today. Crocheted. Finished reading my favourite trilogy AGAIN and watched QVC. Made dinner, portioned it out and promptly refrigerated the rest. Thought about playing a video game, then Googled Tim Curry to see if he had a Twitter page. Sadly, he does not.

Realized that Tim Curry (who reads my favourite trilogy audiobooks) was the clown from IT and felt my heart sink a little. I adore his voice but I am terribly, terribly afraid of that clown.

Is it Monday yet? I am very much looking forward to it. There are several exciting things happening this week and I am anxious and hoping that things go well. I smell change on the horizon and can only hope that it brings Great Things.

Great Things is capitalized because thats how Great I want those Things to be.
Grreeeeeat! Like Tony the Tiger.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Calling all Tweeters!

I added a button. You can now follow me on Twitter. Marth Stewart follows me. Sooooo why arent you?

(I seriously kid you not, I have no idea why she is following me. It must have been the comment I made to Adam Savage from Mythbusters about making a robot Martha.)

1 every 5 challenge

I mentioned before that I have a wedding to go to.
I also mentioned that I am going on vacation. These two events are very close together, though one I am officially attending and the other will be planned around the first.

Either way. I have decided to do the 1 in every 5 challenge. A neat little name I came up by myself. The wedding is in 105(ish?) days.
The vacation will be roughly about the same, probably later.

I want to lose 20 lbs in 105 days. So thats about 1lb every 5 days. See, isnt it fun!?

The plan:

-1400 calories a day. No cheating. Once I run out, its either a) exercise for more calories or 2) sleep.
-Curves 3x a week, no excuses.
-2 bike rides a week, 4 miles each. No excuses.
If its rainy, then Stella.
-TRACK JOURNAL TRACK JOURNAL and then more journaling and possibly extra tracking.
-4 glasses of water a day. I have a problem drinking my water.

-Get more hobbies. Maybe make doilies or something. Finish that stupid blanket. Make more candles. Go shopping! YAY Anything to reduce boredom.

Now lets be realistic, I dont expect to every 5 days lose exactly one pound. I like to average things. I'd love to lose two or three a week at first then see how I average out. I am not even setting my bar very high. I dont like disappointment.

I have only been half assing it lately and it has to stop. I am not even feeling very much like myself, I feel depressed and antsy, anxious, and unhappy. I remember feeling that way when I ballooned up to 237 lbs. I used to weigh 185.

Give 100%. Give 100%. Give 100%.

Todays plan: I made a deal with hubby. I told him if he threw away the bathroom trash, I would scrub both bathrooms ceiling to floor. I think this counts as exercise. I would also rather scrub a toilet then throw the trash away. I just cant stand it.

I also have to clean the kitchen. Goodness you think I would be a clean person being home all the time lol :( Oh well. One thing at a time. I might even put up a fancy little sidepanel thing of my 1 in 5 challenge. See if hubby will design it for me.

Yesterday I made a candle, raspberry lemonade scented. I also finished a section of my blanket and started on another. I do 6 rows of half double crochets (nothing fancy lol) in dark blue and 3 rows of hdc in white. It's got 3 full sections of blue and white, and 1 section of blue, and .5 of a white for a total of 35.5 rows. Which totals about 14".

Averaging this out (I like averaging) every three rows (rounding up) is an inch. That means to make 48" i have to have 144 rows. Sheesh. Each row also has 160 stitches.

If I do an inch a day, I will have it done in time with the wedding. LOL I didnt plan that.

I want to learn to make doilies too. My gramma was making one and I was very jealous of it. but I am scared to try, because the last time I tried to make something that she made, it didnt turn out well. She was taking cake decorating classes and was showing me she knew how to make a rosebud and that they were going to make roses but it would take 3 lessons they were so hard. She had a book with instructions so I asked her if I could try it. I made a decent looking rose my first try, and she called me a bitch. LOL

Note: I say "decent looking" because for a while there, I was actually a cake decorator and learned how to make them in all different varieties. My favourite coworker taught me how. I learned so much from him.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Its a very ADHD Day

I suffer from ADD or probably ADHD but am undiagnosed. However, my mom is diagnosed and our behaviours are identical.

Case in point: When I was visiting one day, I decided to be nice and make dinner for my parents. I was looking for a box of mac and cheese and could not find it anywhere. Giving up (or losing interest) I opened the fridge to grab a diet Dew and found the box of mac n cheese on the shelf.

Another time I have found the remote in there too.

Often we will be in the middle of a conversation and just trail off, distracted by squirrels or something equally entertaining. Then we will start up again, on a completely unrelated subject.

Here is what I mean when I say I am my mothers daughter:

Tonight I ordered pizza hut. I sat there contendedly munching away at delicious pizza when hubby called (he caught me haha) He has a new job prospect and was very excited, which got me excited. We hung up and I put down the phone. I went back to reading my book. Then I thought I should listen to the audio book that I have of this book, while reading it at the same time. Like a read-along. Giddy and excited at my idea I reached for my phone. Couldnt find it.

Looked all over the house. Couldnt find it. I dont have a landline to call and anyone I would trust with my number could only be reached via text message this late at night. Assuming I dropped it down the couch I looked and looked. Couldnt find it. Then I gave up, thinking oh well, Hubby will call when he is off work and I will locate it then.

I went back to reading, soon enough hubby came home and I hadnt heard my phone go off. He had even called me several times. We searched the house and I couldnt find it. I even checked the fridge, and the freezer too, just in case. I couldnt remember going to the fridge or even the kitchen, but that didnt mean I didnt go in. I could have gone in for a moment. I couldnt remember. I didnt even remember getting dressed for the delivery guy. (Opening the door in your nightie isnt very good)

I looked everywhere. On a whim hubby opened the fridge. Sitting there, inside of the pizza box, with the lid partially open, was my iPhone. It wasnt even on silent. It was very cold and also said I had 4 missed calls and a voicemail. It still works.

I had hastily scooped up the pizza box and thrown it in the fridge a mere hour before hubby came home, thinking he would be pissed if he came home to a pizza box on the floor. My phone must have tumbled in at that moment, but I hadnt noticed, still in the dreamlike state of reading, wanting to delve back into my favourite book.

Yes, internet. I was horribly teased for it. But honestly, I was happy I found it. lol

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Identifying behaviors

Boredom. What do I do when I am bored? (besides blogging twice or more a day?)

I eat.

Stress. How do I handle it? Eating. Or sleeping. Maybe take a xanax, depending on how stressed or anxious I am.

Loneliness. Again, eating.

Do we see a pattern here?

How will I fix this you ask? I don't know. One day at a time. I think I might crochet myself into a stupor tonight and then take a nap while hubby is working. Sounds good to me.

So does eating a batch of cookie dough. Thank goodness I've not got ingredients to make any.

I want to finish this stupid blanket. I like crocheting but seriously, what on earth was I thinking when I decided my first project would be a blanket?! I must be retarded or something. I am not even half way there.


Biking Around

We have a lovely trail not far from our apartment. I just Googled it and its length is a total 6.8 miles. We live in about the middle chunk of the path, so we get a good 2 miles or so out of it.

They are connecting them to other trails in the area, and the connection point isnt far from where we enter the trail, so that is also good news.

Our bike ride the other day was less of a ride and more of a "what the heck are we doing wrong here" moment. Our tires were low on air so we had to buy a bike pump. This time however it was much easier to ride, and yes I even took pics and have them on my computer, so its time to upload them.

We went further on the trail today than we had ever walked, the bikes made it easier. There are a few bridges along the trail that you have to walk over and I am extremely afraid of them. I get very nervous whenever we come to one.

Scary bridge.

Here are pics of me!

And here are some of hubby

Arent we cute?

I got lots of sun today, my thighs are killing me, and I am dying for a nap. So I will see you all tomorrow. Its a Curves day, maybe I'll take more pics. (After all, I do have such a nice 10 megapixel camera and I hardly use it....)

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

How do you say.... day 2?

It was day 2 at Curves today. Mom and I went and we danced and worked our butts off. It was much tougher today. Loved it though! After we went tanning! YAY!

I have a wedding to go to in about 100 days! My good friends Jesse and Alisha are getting married, wow I cannot WAIT to go! I am so excited for them!

Then we have our vacation... I have lots of motivation!

I had an activia yogurt fat free 70 calories
a jr bacon cheeseburger 380 calories
burrito 400 calories
and now dinner i am making home made chicken teriyaki. i have to add up the calories. Whole grain brown rice, home made sauce, and grilled chicken strips. Mmmm!

bubbles bubbles everywhere...

Last night, after dinner, hubby and I decided to erm take a shower together (Sorry mom and gramma lol)

Our showers are insanely small, our bathrooms are insanely small as well, to be honest. It used to be a challenge for the two of us to shower at the same time, we would have to be careful as we switched positions... TO GET UNDER THE SHOWER HEAD AND RINSE OFF!!

Anyway... *coughcough we are newly weds coughcough*

This time though, I felt smaller. Like in the shower. I used to feel like I barely fit. Even when it was just me. It was a little claustrophobic, and I dont really suffer from that.

I felt much much smaller. I felt like I fit, I asked hubby what he thought, was it easier to move around and he said yes.

I felt fantastic. I felt like I was doing something right. I may have had a gain this week ugh but I am still 15 lbs smaller. And 15lbs came straight off my gut, where it needed to.

I went to the store today and I bought a few things, mainly to make hubby a fantastic dinner because I am nice like that. We had baked porkchops and mashed potatoes, and dinner rolls. I burnt the rolls. Being blonde as I am, I stuck them in with the chops in a 425 degree oven. I read the package and it said to bake for 12-17 minutes... At 325. Oh well. They were just burnt on the top, so they were salvagable.

I was going to make gravy, why? I thought hubby liked it, turns out he doesnt. So good job I botched it too. LOL not my night.

The chops and potatoes turned out well, thankfully. I even made him a special dessert. He has a thing for oreos. I was going to buy a package, but I would have inhaled them before he got home. Instead I made a jello no bake oreo pie dessert thing. I remember having one when I was a teen and it was ok... except the cookies get soft in it, and I absolutely hate soggy food. I cant eat cereal with milk, so how would I eat that? EXACTLY. I don't.

For me though I bought some weight watchers peanut butter cup sundaes and also some activia yogurt. I didnt really go with a list so I ended up spending about 20 more than I wanted but hubby wasnt upset. He was actually impressed that I went to the store all by myself.

Tomorrow is Curves. Well today is Curves. Its 1:17 here. I dont go to bed until about 4am, when the rest of the world is waking up lol. I am excited, going home to my hometown to work out with my mom. Hubby has the day off so he is coming with and he will probably spend time on drawing something, or maybe he will model something. I dont know. He will keep himself busy.

I am really excited about Curves again. I used to go a few years ago, right when hubby and I had started dating. I remember weighing in the first time and being a bit sad. I remember weighing in a month later and being depressed that I didnt lose any weight and had only lost 3/4" overall. But my body fat % had gone down a full percent. Figure that one out! (lean tissue)

I weighed in at 198.0 lbs. What I wouldnt GIVE to be that now. So I think I will give 100%. See if that gets me there. I would love to be 199.999999 lbs lol Anything to be back in Onederland.

I remember weighing 185 for the longest time. That number stared me in the face every morning. I remember being upset about it but not really caring. I even saw 220 on the scale and looked at it thinking the scale was WRONG how could it suddenly be up 40 lbs?! It wasnt. I was.

Sigh. However, fat or not, my husband married me. I can only pay him back for at LEAST getting back to our dating weight. AT LEAST. I wont stop there, though. The first 40 lbs are for him. The last 60 are for me.

I will accomplish this. Ill report in later with Curves details. I'll also try to remember to upload bike pics. No promises though.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Sore and Sleepy

I am so sore today. Lets review what hurts, starting bottom up! My ankles. Plural. My bad one hurts so bad it makes me limp I mean walk very purposefully. The good one, well it hurts too but more like a dull ache only when I put pressure on it. Both of my calves are sore. My knees hurt. My thighs too. My upper arms. My back. My neck.

I mentioned yesterday that I went to Curves and a walk, and then rode bikes. What I failed to mention however, is how incredibly sore I already was, but didnt want to stop. I pushed myself to go bike riding. I really didn't want to. I wanted to nap. I was tired!

I also mentioned that I didnt really eat a lot that day. This isnt very fun. LOL I enjoy eating :( I will do my best to eat every few hours today, and make sure I count my calories too.

I havent been journaling very much lately in the way of calories and as much as I hate to admit it, its something that is really holding me back.

I feel like I can't seem to do two things at once. I cant journal AND exercise! That would be toooo harrrrrd! /sarcasm

I need to get on program. I need to see my calories as money. Is it worth "spending" them on this peanut butter cup? Is it worth 15 minutes of working out to burn the calories?

I made a new spreadsheet. Surprise! I made it for Curves though. I can't wait to get my little doohicky thing that will tell me how long and hard I have worked out how many calories Ive burnt and all that other jazz. I thrive on data. I should learn to make databases.

I know, its Tuesday. And yes, I've weighed myself. No, I don't feel like sharing.

....FINE 222!

Are you happy!?

I know I am. For a while there this week, it was staring me at 224.8. Yeeeeah. Not good. At least I have gotten a slap in the face reality wise. I WILL get back on track. I will journal. I will track. I will go to Curves on Wednesday and Friday.
I will give it my all. I will track. Did I mention I was going to track? :P

Thank you all for the kind comments yesterday!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Today I did... this and this and this...

Today I went to Curves just like I said I would.
I went 30 minutes like you are supposed to.
I also pushed myself harder than I ever have.

I walked away feeling exhausted.

Then I remembered to eat. Tuna salad lunch kit & string cheese.

Then I went on a walk with my gramma.

Then I went home.

Then we rode our bikes. (Pics to come, I took some)

My seat was too low. I am so out of shape. I was panting, gasping, almost on the verge of tears. Incredibly shaky. Couldn't steer straight to save my life.

Realized I hadnt eaten enough energy today. I probably burned what I ate earlier at Curves. We went to Fazoli's and split an entree (they give you so much freaking food.) I didnt eat much still, just enough. I had two breadsticks and a slice of pizza. I have to look up the calories but I know I am somewhere in the neighborhood of 650 for dinner lol :(

Looking forward to sleeping tonight, man am I exhausted

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Food Log Sunday

Well here it is, another days worth of crap shoveled in my face. I know you've all been dying to hear it.

For breakfast I had: Nothing. Water.
For lunch I had: 3 bites of chili, but I'll call it 100 calories. It was far less than that, but better safe than sorry.
For dinner I had: Weight Watchers Smart Ones orange chicken. My mom gave it to me like oh two months ago and I just dug it out of the freezer today. It was decent, to say the least. Im surprised I even tried it. It was 320 calories.
Snacks: Honey nut cheerios. I love these damn little o's! And if you go to your local store, grab a box off the shelf, you will see that you can read all of the ingredients on the list. Yep., 1 cup, 220 calories

Soooo I'm at what? 640 for the day? Wow.

I should probably eat more. I still need to consume at least 560 calories so my body doesnt go into starvation mode.

I am going to go to Curves tomorrow (see how excited I am?) and have them weigh and measure me, then I will get a print out of it (LOL) so I can take it home and compare with my spreadsheets. Then I will of course, have to make a new spreadsheet. One for Curves. I am seriously thinking on buying the cool extra tag thing that tracks your progress because it's something I like. I like graphs and spreadsheets and data. I think if I can see exactly how many calories I've burnt instead of guessing what I've done, I will be more motivated. Guess work is hard work. Give me cold hard data that doesnt lie.

I'm so excited about going! I keep trying to think of all the music I need to load on my iPhone so I can have something to listen to. Maybe I'll have them even take my "before" pics, just so I can have a point of reference.

Counting Blue Cars

Must of been late afternoon
On our way the sun broke free of the clouds
We count only blue cars
Skip the cracks, in the street
And ask many questions
Like children often do

-Dishwalla, Counting Blue Cars

Today is one of those days. I work a lot today but in my spare time, which isnt much, I noticed I am looking out my patio door. Oh the sun is shining. I am longing to go out there and just soak up a few rays. I want to be out there. Then I zone out and watch the cars with my cats. I know, I'm weird.

I am hoping to go to Curves tomorrow. I have been looking at their website and thinking of how much I want to go. I need to go. Its only a mile down the road. I can manage a mile and thirty minutes of exercise right? I'll pack my headphones. I dont have to talk. I can just pump it up without talking.

They also have a nifty little card that tells you whether how hard you're working out, how many calories you burn, and it calculates how strong you are getting, what your body fat % lost is, and modifies your workouts accordingly. It's $25. I am debating on getting it. We will see.

Semi-charmed Kind of Life

I want something else, to get me through this life
And I want something else to get me through this
Semi-charmed kind of life.

Would love to say thank you new followers, for adding me. I tried to stop by everyone's blog to say thanks but if I missed you, I am sorry! Some of you dont have blogs, get one! that way I can come see you lol

I decided I will go back to Curves on Monday. They arent open on Sunday and thats fine, because I work all day on the weekends. I need to go because of a few reasons:

A) I am paying for it.
2) I dont want to call and cancel it because I hate telling companies or businesses I no longer want their service, as they beg, plead, finagle, etc.

Hubby wont call and cancel which I think is a bit sad, that I am that terrified of people.

I love the circuit though of Curves, its something I can really get into I just hate how chatty they all are. If you have been reading me for even a short amount of time you have figured out that I am not really a people person. I have friends, but my closest ones all live far away. Most of my communication is online. I love my laptop, all my friends live in it!

...but I dont enjoy conversations so much. Especially with nosy old ladies. I already have a building full of these people, I dont want to talk to you when I can barely catch my breath.

But I really do need to stop being a hermit. See? constant battle with my inner demons. I know hubby worries that I will end up immobile, boring, and not very outgoing.

Monday is also bicycle riding debut, weather permitting. Forecast is 60 degrees and sunny right now. Keeping my fingers crossed. Hubby works in the morning and early afternoon, I am hoping to go to Curves between the time he is at work and then go for a bike ride. I can also compare my measurements with Curves, and see where I am at as well. Not that I would intentionally lie about my measurements, I just dont exactly know what I am doing haha!

I also made a promise to myself to start taking more pictures of my life and myself. For too long I have been hiding behind the camera. Part of it is because I no longer want to see myself; I'm fat, ugly, disgusting. I also feel like my life isn't really picture worthy. But now that I look back on it, I am missing so much. Others I know (especially on facebook) have hundreds and hundreds of pics of themselves and family. I have under 50. And half of them are of my cats.

I wanted to make a marriage scrapbook, but I can't do that if I'm not in any of the pictures. LOL I also have a few other ideas but am keeping them underwraps for now!

Hubby just called me on his way home from work, he is contemplating a new job. It sounds like what he is looking at would be a good change though I am nervous about it. Its my job lol but I support him in his decision. As long as the bills get paid.

Thats it for now internet. I hope you enjoyed

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Food log for Saturday

Today I had

BBQ pita pizza, 370 calories
1 can of Chef Boyardee 98% Fat Free beef ravioli, 340 calories
2 cans of soda, 320 calories.

Total: 1020
Left: 380

I am going to go to the dollar store and buy a new notebook, something small that i can throw in my purse so I can write down what I am eating how I am feeling, I cant blog 3000 times a day, much to my disappointment.

avoiding temptation

Last night I dreamt I was back in school and the teacher kept a bowl of m&ms near my desk. They said that no one else could have any but me. It was my bowl and my bowl alone.

In my dream a week went by. Day in and day out, the bowl just sat there. taunting me.
I never even had one m&m, though part of me wanted to give in the other part told me that i was worth it. i wanted to be skinny. it takes sacrifice on some level. you can eat m&ms only if you stay on track all week long as a reward, and only a regular size package.

I never gave in. I dont think I would have that kind of control in real life. I am sure that I would have a fantastic impression of a hoover vacuum sucking them down.

i remember feeling proud in my dream that i never gave in. then my alarm went off. back to reality haha

Friday, April 16, 2010

Feeling lonely....

I dont have many friends in life. Honestly I do best one on one and have never really enjoyed the companionship of others outside of my own family. Im one of those weird kids who would prefer to sit alone in my bedroom all day playing with my Barbies.

I miss Barbie.

Even in day care, where I was thrust amongst the throngs of children, I only had ONE friend. And if my friend didnt come to day care that day, I would sulk in a corner. That being said, I did enjoy going to day care. I learned how to play chess and paint and be messy. I was always jealous though of the kids who got to take naps. They never let me take one. But I did go roller skating. Bonus!

Side tracked.

Back to the blog.

I dont have a lot of friends. Even now, my best friend has moved 3 hours away from me. My small family and my husband are really my only sources of companionship. I feel incredibly sad and lonely every time my hubby has to leave for work. I feel sad if he falls asleep before I do. Am I nuts and super dependent or what?

Not that I can't be on my own. I just dont enjoy it as much as I used to. I do find however I miss reading and it helps ease some of my tension and worry.

I also ate 3 bowls of chili over the course of 8 hours, which was delicious. Its also the only thing I've eaten aside from a few spoonfuls of sugar free orange jello.

I find myself constantly wandering into the kitchen, looking through the cupboards for *something* and I think I just figured out, I am bored and lonely and trying to eat for comfort. I find myself longing to stuff my face with BBQ pizza. Something about it just satisfies me. Also, missing chocolate. I fixed that though, with a chocolate soy protein shake. It actually tastes like off brand peanut butter cups, bonus!

Part of me longs for companionship, but the other part of me vehemently refuses that I need anyone that isnt related to me by blood or matrimony. LOL

I think if I had a normal job, I would have to be more social. I would have coworkers, whom I would politely decline their requests to hang out after hours. I would just talk a little more. Right now I am a hermit, hunkered down in my little cave of wonders that includes cable and internet, crochet hooks and books, two insane cats and a cupboard full of things I want to eat but lack the initiative to dump in a bowl that i would have to wash by hand or unload the dishwasher and shovel it in my face, wearing my nightgown for the third day in a row and lacking motivation to get out of bed. Its heaven.

I like being a hermit. I go outside for the mail. Occasionally.

I like to flirt with the notion of friends but am not sure I can really follow through.

I feel loads better now that my husband is home. I am looking forward to sunny weather and bright skies so I can ride my wicked bike I may even take pictures. Thats a lie, I will take pics but I may not upload them lol :/ That requires effort.

what the heck...

I stepped on the scale this morning and was staring at a 4 lb gain! A GAIN OF 4 LBS! Its only been 4 days since I last weighed myself! OMG I will shit if I gained a lb a day. I am hoping, praying, and firmly believing that I am still bloated and full of water weight from my special time lol I also havent gone potty in a few days, once again, we are blaming my love for excess amounts of cheese.

I am feeling a little more than fat today. We went to pick up our bikes at the store, they were delivered today. its rainy and annoyingly cooler than it was yesterday, none the less I was still sweating like a fat pig. I had sweat below my lower lip, above my chin, and that has never happened to me. I dont get it. I am trying to count calories and walking an hour a day, at least. Is that not enough?

I have slacked off on 30 day shred, I guess I will pick that up again and do it, see if it makes a difference.

The only day that I really pigged out was the day before yesterday, for my parents anniversary. But I guess I did eat half a pizza.

Never mind. I deserve those 4 lbs! UGH.

Our bikes look fantastic! His came with a leather cup holder and a leather seat, it also has a slider bar on the back so you can put things on there, I guess? It also came with a wire basket but he didnt really want a basket, and thats what I wanted most, considering it was an extra accessory that happened to be included on his bike, we were able to just put it on mine instead. His is a warm chocolate and butterscotch color and mine is burgundy and champagne. I love my bike, its the classiest, most grown up bike I have ever owned. Also it has a wire basket.

The guy that helped us load them into our car was... Weird. Lets just put it that way. He comes up to us and the first thing out of his mouth is and I quote "virtue once again triumphs over evil." Hubby and I just stared. He added "...or not" after a few awkward moments and then followed us to the car, all the while making odd conversation about how he was on our clock not the other way around, wouldnt loan us money, and when he smashed the cart into the doors leading out, said "I meant to do that." He was also 400 lbs and greasy looking. The whole time I kept thinking he must still live in his momma's basement and probably was annoyed he had to quit playing world of warcraft long enough to go to work lol. He did load our bikes though and we were able to go home.

When we got home we couldnt get the bigger one out of the back seat, it was wedged in there at an impossible angle and we couldnt make the big rectangular box do what we wanted. I had the brilliant idea at this point to just cut the box open and take a few pieces out, then we could remove the empty box later. fortunately, it was a box in another box, and we were able to pull the smaller box out, throwing the outer box away in the dumpster. all the while we were making jokes, maybe the guy really was a wizard and had a +4 in box shaping. Maybe he had to work at walmart because the economy is shot and wizards arent in high demand.

Hubby has been putting the bikes together for the last hour and a half and I have to say I am incredibly impressed. Not only was he strong enough to lift the boxes and bring them to our second floor apartment, but he also has experience putting them together, and I havent been needed to help with anything, which is fine by me. I made chili for his reward.

I hope the weather picks up again as I know he cant wait to ride and I am eager to, too.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

A Reason to Celebrate

Yesterday was my parents' 24th Anniversary so for kicks and giggles we went to see How To Train Your Dragon in 3D (a must see) It was my gramma, my mom, hubby and I. Dad was still at work lol aww :(

Then when it was over we went out to eat, this time it was mom, dad, hubby and I. We went to Applebee's and I had 2 mozzarella sticks with sauce, steak and grilled shrimp with garlic mashed potatoes (I didnt finish the potatoes) a strawberry daiquiri, and on the way home, we bought Mikes Light Hard Lemonades. I had one while relaxing with my parents, then we went home. On the way home we got ice cream from Dairy Queen, I had a peanut butter cup sundae, yummy! A few hours and a few drinks later, we decided to order a pizza, and we got a Papa John's large the meats pizza with extra cheese, of which I ate HALF! Argh!

Sigh. Today I did much better though. I had one piece of left over pizza and 4 frozen chicken nuggets, one cup of Kraft Mac n cheese, and a pink lady apple. I was not impressed with the pink lady apple.

I also went outside as it was a GORGEOUS 85 degrees out today. GORGEOUS day. Beautiful. I slathered on some sun block, a pink shirt, a pink visor and my big sunglasses and went out walking around our outdoor mall here, and it was fantastic. We also went to the store and bought groceries, lots of walking. I got an email today that our bikes shipped, we should have them in 3-5 days

We interrupt your regulary scheduled program...

I wrote a blog yesterday making a bit of a joke. My husband was relaying the news to me and could have sworn that I had told him, but I was unaware of it. Anyway, as my add mind does, we had an interesting conversation as a joke, and I thought it was funny, however it may not actually be. I apologise if this offended anyone.

Good night x

Wednesday, April 14, 2010


I went shopping for a bike tonight and my budget for both hubby and I was a total of $250... Now, they say that if you are 62" or taller then you should ride a 26" bike. I am 5ft5" aka 65" tall but I have no legs. Seriously, Im like a little round ball with nubs to walk around on.

We stopped by Meijer where I found a lovely beach cruiser bike that I fell in love with.

Isn't it sexy?

Unfortunately I tried it and it was too tall for me, I could barely reach the ground with my tippy toes, and that's not good, considering I have about as much balance as an elephant walking a tight rope- ie, none! It was a 26"er so I looked for a 24" no go. Apparently, bike companies do not make the same style bikes in different sizes! Bastards!!!

We left Meijer and went to Wal-Mart, I found a very similar bike in shape and color (must be trendy this season) and again, it was too big, what's worse is that I couldn't even reach the pedals. I am not kidding. Ask my husband! I would have him take a pic but he had to hold on to the bike so I wouldnt fall off and break my face!

Discouraged, we returned home and I searched online for a cruiser bike. I am really digging the style of them and I dont need a mountain bike because I live in the Midwest and there arent any mountains! At all! So I had to buy a youth bike!

Embarrassing really. But I found an ultra cute cruiser that was 24" (the height that fits me lol)

I love the color burgundy and I also love how cute and vintage it looks! Also bonus: It was only $85 dollars and I got it shipped site to store from (I used the express, which was an extra $30) and my husband also got his bike from there, and we get free assembly! YAY! So totally worth it. Total spent? $248.65

Did I get it down to the dime or WHAT?!
In 3-5 days you will see a sexy new bike. I still need a name for it.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

A moment of clarity...

Hubby gets off work and pulls up to apartment, where I am waiting outside.
I hop in the car and we go for a drive
I say I'm thinking Arby's and away we go
He says let me buy and pulls out a wad of dough
I order a sandwich and a drink
No cupholder in sight so what do I think?
Pop it between your legs you silly goose
Feeling quite sexy in jeans so loose
Another victory, small but full of grace
Why this fat girl's legs have a bit of space!

Erm totally didnt mean to make it a poem I realized by line three that it was all rhyming, so there you go! I can officially stick a medium drink in between my legs comfortably without squeezing the top off.

And yes, I realize that I probably wouldnt have discovered this if I hadnt gone through the drive thru lol

Monday, April 12, 2010

Monday Weigh In

I tracked about half the week, started a new calorie interval diet change, and did 30 day Shred 2 of the last 4 days (i work loads on the weekends, those will be my rest days lol)

How did I fair this week? After being off program for a few weeks I have finally returned to my lowest weight of 220! Woot! I am on the cusp of being in the 210's! WOW

Measurements were a bit off to say the least somehow I must have been retarded when I took last weeks. I reported that my upper arms were at 12" this week they are at 15" a 3" gain, which doesnt make any sense at all I know it is erroneous.

Nothing else moved on the measurements except my thighs they are 27" instead of 28"

My body fat percentage and water hydration have both moved in the positive directions, I am now only 48.8% fat (down from 49.4) and my hydration is 41.5% up from last time of 41.3% My BMI is also moving down, it was 37.2 last time and now it is 36.9!

I have to lose 21 lbs to be where I was 4 years ago. I have to lose 25 lbs to be where I was when I met my husband, nearly 3 years ago. I used to be able to wear his jeans! They were way too long, but they fit perfectly...Sigh.

But something really hit home for me yesterday. I was watching the last episode of Celebrity Fit Club on VH1. Tanisha started in at 240 lbs and was 48% body fat and Dr Ian freaked and told her she was half fat. That is me. Exactly. Ouch.

I started out at 237.5 and 49% body fat. I am the same height as Tanisha. Shit. This has got to stoooop. Now.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

update on the gyro recipe

LOL this is a diet blog and I post a recipe with no nutritional information... Doh!

Ok, Arby's gyro has 560 calories a serving
My gyro (which has more beef and the sauce isnt made with ranch) has 370 calories. 190 less than Arbys!

I also used the pita bread to make a BBQ chicken pizza, my other current obsession.
A personal pan BBQ chicken pizza from Pizza Hut... averages out to 655.. ok, ok its not on Pizza Huts menu but everything else is... and its staggering! A meat lovers personal pan ( my fav) is 850 calories! the option with the least amount of calories (veggie supreme or ham and pineapple) is 550...

My BBQ chicken pita thing... 1 pita bread, 160 cal. 3 oz chicken breast strips 100 cal. 1/4 cup low fat cheddar cheese 80 cal 2 Tbl BBQ sauce 50 cal... 390! YAY and its the same size too, it tastes kind of like a combination between hand tossed dough and thin crust, not to mention that the edges of my chicken when I order it are always hard and icky, but on my pita pizza it was so fresh and tender, and juicy.

Take that Pizza Hut! Now if I can only find a lower calorie solution to their delicious delicious garlic bread with cheese mmmm

Why I Love Lists

Lists are awesome, especially if you are ADD.

Imagine, you have to go to the store, you need something kind of important, like shampoo right? While you are at the store you see your favorite candy on sale and decide to get that. Wait! You need new fake eyelashes, your current pair is a bit raggedy, and ooh! is that new nail polish? hmm you better pick up some sleeping pills too, you have your days and nights mixed up and wait, you are out of soda! Okay, lets go home... You get home and realize SHOOT! I forgot shampoo!

See why I need lists? I usually make one an hour before I go to the store. Or if I want to make a specific store run, where I need only x amount of items. The danger though, is losing the list (misplacing or forgetting it) somewhere between the apartment and the store. Is it in my purse? My pockets? My bra? My shoe? (Ok, I'm a weirdo) is it in the car? Did I leave it at home aaaahh panic.

I like lists because they are an easy way to catalog things. You can list anything in the world! Like favorite ice cream flavors, meals for the week, songs, your medications, dream items you want to purchase, your fears, your goals in life, what room or chores you will do today...
Questionnaires and surveys? LISTS of questions you answer!

Besides lists, I also love spreadsheets. Why do I love spreadsheets you ask? They are more organized lists, electronic lists! You know what you can do with them? You can organize things by category, occurrence, alphabetical order, numerical order, etc. Then you can use the data to make pie charts and graphs!

Holy sh--crap! Well, anyway, that being said, I am making a spreadsheet of songs my parents and husband like, as well as what I like. Did you know? We are carpooling. Can you call it a carpool if its over 8 hours? OK OK its a road trip! I know some of you are thinking eww a vacation with your parents and your husband?? You dont have awesome parents like I do though. You are just jealous.

The last time I went to Gatlinburg, I weighed 198 lbs. Don't ask me how I remember the exact number, its just something I remember. Its also the last time I had seen my granny. I would love to be at least 180 by then. Can I do it, 40 lbs in 12 weeks? Also I will permanently associate "Sky rockets in flight, afternoon delight" with this lift that shuttled you up the mountainside to a frightening 1800 feet. My best friend kept singing it and then of course, it got stuck in my head. Also, I had my dreaded perm. Lets see if I can dig up a pic so I can post it! LOL lets all make fun of my mistakes!!

Things I am also addicted to: Blogging. Which explains most of my double posts. Shhh.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

A manicure and 5 cookies later...

Today I went with my mom to get our nails done. She paid for mine too wee what a nice mom thank you so much!

It was lots of fun and though I didnt stay very long I really enjoyed myself. Its hard to type though!

Emotionally though I am feeling a little drained. I got my monthly "gift" and I am cranky. I am running on no sleep & caffeine. I started feeling woozy and realized I had been up since 9am but hadnt eaten until 7:30pm I was having an out of body experience, I felt as if I was exactly 3 inches to the left of where I was physically standing. I was jumpy and skittish, thick witted and foggy.

I made homemade gyros (recipe to follow) and bought break and bake peanut butter cookies with peanut butter cups. YES! They WERE that good. I was starving, so while I made dinner I guzzled down a diet Dew and ate two of the 12 chunks raw, slapped the other ten on a cookie sheet and made my gyros!

I ate a total of 5 cookies, two raw, 3 baked. I made hubby pack the rest in tupperware and sent them to work with him lol :) he can eat them all he wants but if he wasnt here and the cookies were... they wouldnt be for long knowwhatimsayin'?

Homemade gyro recipe:

Flat pita bread (not pockets)
Garlic clove(s)
8 oz sliced roast beef deli meat
Greek yogurt, plain
Powdered onion
Powdered garlic

1.) Peel, slice and de-seed your cucumber and cut it into manageable chunks. Take a garlic clove (or two, eight, how many you need) and dump that and your cucumber into a food processor. Take your lemon, roll it around on the counter, pressing hard with the palm of your hand (like kneading dough) This helps you squeeze the juice out better (works on limes and oranges, any thing of that nature) Squeeze out half a lemon, all the juice you can. Process until smooth. Next add in your tub of greek yogurt, I used 2 6 oz containers, and mine was a little runny, but if I had time to let it sit in the fridge, it thickens up.

2) Moving on... After that is combined, you will proceed to take your meat and microwave it to warm it up. In a small bowl combine marjoram, oregano, p. onion and p. garlic until you like how it looks (I dont really measure this stuff ever. Eyeball it) then you toss it with your meat.

3.) Heat up your George Foreman. Don't pretend you don't have one. And if you dont, garage/yard sale season is upon us and someone who has a real grill will be selling their Foreman, so buy it. Then you will slap your pita bread on there and let it get that wonderful grilled look, about 2-3 minutes.

4.) Plate it. Slap your pita down, a couple spoonfuls of sauce, your seasoned meat and voila! Better than Arby's. If you are so inclined to ruin it with lettuce, tomato, onion or god forbid it, french fries, then so be it.

5.) Buy a dozen cookies, eat the raw dough, make the rest, go to bed.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Avoiding a Plateau

Its all a numbers game. To lose weight, you have to burn more calories than you put in. We all know that. Let's look at my numbers for this example, shall we?

To maintain my current weight, I need to consume 2395 calories a day. That means in a week I consume 16,800 calories. To lose a lb a week, I need to create a deficit of 3500 or 500 a day, which brings my total to 1895 a day. If I want to lose 2 lbs a week that would be a deficit of 7000 (3500*2) which would be a deficit of 1000 a day bringing me to 1395.

I hear you saying, yes yes we get all that but what does that have to do with plateau-ing anyway? You arent even skinny, why tell us this shit, how is it going to help, yadayadayada blah blah blah.

It's simple. If you consume your 1400 calories a day, every day, after a while, your body freaks out and goes into starvation mode, hording all the calories and storing fat. Yes, I know you know this. Wheres the solution??

Here it is: No one said that you have to only consume an equal amount of calories every day to create your deficit needed to lose the weight you desire. I will say that again: NO ONE SAID THAT YOU MAY ONLY HAVE 1400 DAILY TO LOSE 2 LBS A WEEK.

But.. but that doesnt make sense! YES IT DOES.

Lets take it back to basic math, shall we? When you were little, you learned that 2+2=4 right? Well thats not the only way to get 4. You can also do 1+3, 5-1, and 6-2. 2x2 is even 4. 4+0? 4!

The point being, that no matter how you get your deficit, you can switch up your calorie intake days and still come up with your needed amount.

Here's what I have started doing, it also helps me not feel as hungry and lets me think I am "splurging" a little.

Monday: 1200 calories
Tuesday: 1200
Wednesday: 1400
Thursday: 1400
Friday: 1400
Saturday: 1600
Sunday: 1600
= 9800 calories
16800-7000=9800 calories to lose 2 lbs a week!

This keeps your body guessing, never knowing whether or not today is a low cal day or a bit of a high cal day, and you still have all the calories you need to burn. This is not including exercise, this is just FOOD calories only! So if you BURN an extra 500 a day, you may want to eat an extra 500, or else you could be depriving your body of the energy it actually needs. If you dont have any fuel then your body goes into starvation mode, no matter how much you exercise.

Women should never ever ever eat less than 1200 a day, more so if you are breastfeeding or pregnant, and men shouldn't eat less than 1600 a day (the bastards! I mean, lucky bastards! LOL)

If you are still having trouble with a plateau ask yourself these questions:

Q) Am I eating too much salt?
A) Cut or limit your salt intake to 1500mg a day for three weeks. For reference, one package of ramen noodles has over 1800mg of salt! Are you eating a lot of processed foods? Then you are getting too much salt!

Q) Are you drinking too much water?
A) Water can make you feel fuller but it is also something you have to consider, not to mention there are dangers of overhydration (which can be fatal, fyi) Drink your 8- 8oz a day, and dont forget that if you are drinking tea, coffee, or soda, that counts as a fluid intake.
*Note: for my age range, 20-25, women should be 50% hydrated. I sit somewhere around 41% so I am a little dehydrated on average.

All of the information contained in the blog is from Jillian Michaels' Winning at Losing It book, and should not be taken seriously without the consultation of your physician. Hey, I am just sharing some food for thought, don't hold me responsible!
Talk to your doc!

As for today:

I am on a strict 1200 calorie diet today, as I basically splurged all week, going to make it up on the weekend. I have also completed day 2 of my 30 Day Shred challenge. I am so tired and sore! All the sit ups I did yesterday killed me during the ab workout section of the Dvd today! Also: I am getting better at modified pushups. I think when I can do a regular pushup, I will switch to workout tier 2.
The bicycle crunch is killer, and also the very last thing on the workout and I am not able to do all of them and have a sloppy form, I have to work on that. I will still do my 125 crunches tonight too.

My milestone will be getting into Onederland at 199 lbs. Then I will have lost a total of 38.5 lbs! YAY Lose it says if I stick to my calorie plan I will reach my goal by June 28th, but I am thinking I can do it sooner if I stick with 30 Day Shred.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Change of Plans

Have you noticed my new thingy on the sidebar, the 30 Day Shred Countdown?! I am going to do it every day for 30 Days.

Today I had 2 of the recommended 3 servings of fruit today and also had 3 servings of the recommended 5 of veggies! Woo woo! This girl is getting better at eating all of her good for you foods!

I had two honey crisp apples
Spaghetti (the sauce had 1 serving veggies and then I added V8 which is 2 full servings per 8 oz)
A gyro mmm I love gyros
A tube of m&m minis that I "split" with hubby. (Meaning he got the last handful lol)

We decided to put off going somewhere for our anniversary this May until July or August. My parents are going to visit my Granny in TN and hubby has not met her yet, so we will coordinate our trip with them. We will stay in town a couple days meet up with the family, and then hang out with our relatives down there, then we will whizz on over to Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg for a few days, hitting the sights and everything. I have such awesomely fond memories of that place and can't wait to make some new ones!

Now I get to plan a trip somewhere fun so I have to have to have to get myself back on track and get my arse moving! I only have 12 weeks minimum and 19 weeks maximum to get everything organized, paid for, and of course, my buns in shape!

I hope that I can get myself through the full 30 Day Shred and maybe the next month I will up it to the 2nd tier or maybe the 3rd depending on how confident I am. Also need to cancel my Curves membership because I don't enjoy going alone and I hate all the nosy ladies. Maybe I'll go anyway and just shove my headphones in and not listen to any of them. Who knows.


I have a favorite bra that I wear. It's purple lace and has a little teardrop shaped jewel that dangles from it. its a 44DD

Recently I have been wearing it and noticing that it comes unclipped on its on... wth? clip it back together then move on with my day.

I had it drying after I washed it and needed another bra but could only find a smaller one, a 42DD. Once again, it came unclipped. WTF?! Now I am mad, did I just become bra illiterate?!

I went on a search for a bra that fit in my wardrobe, maybe this one will work. I wore it yesterday, a 40DD that fits almost perfectly and only one clip came undone. I finally figured it out. My bust is shrinking! Dramatically! All of a sudden bras arent fitting! My 40DD the smallest that I own are almost too big! I went out and bought something I thought I would never see... a 38DD!


And that, my friends, is a NON SCALE VICTORY!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Feeling loads better

I am feeling much better today, though I still am a bit world weary lol Tomorrow will be a mental health day. I think that involves me laying in bed all day reading along to my favorite audio book, read by Tim Curry.

Maybe a bath. Ooooh.

As I mentioned, my anniversary is coming up in 6 weeks and I am not sure what we are going to do for it now, I wanted to go to Mackinac Island but I really dont have the money for that sort of adventure.

And my favoritist place in the world is opening up on our Anniversary, CEDAR POINT! We went last year on our honeymoon and it was pretty awesome. They have a sweet deal going on now too for their luxury resort weee!

I have to say about 75% of me wants to go again. I will never. Ever. get sick of that place. I love it so much!
The other 25% of me is saying you just went 365 days ago do you really need to go again lol what does hubby want to do...? He doesnt have any ideas and is open to suggestions lol

I didnt exercise today its yucky and gross out. I am going to look online for bikes though and see if I can buy one that looks nice lol :) I cant wait for bike riding weather.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Incredibly Sad

Today I felt incredibly sad.

I am still not over my stressful weekend. I ended up scheduling myself way over board. It went something like this

work two hours
off one hour
work three hours
off two hours
work two hours
off one hour
work 3 hours
off four hours

Rinse and repeat, for three days.
I never got more than a 4 hour break.

Then my in laws dropped by, which is okay, I don't mind but its still very stressful as I was working all weekend and even though I did get a bit of a break I would have much rather slept then entertained.

I slept most of Monday, but still suffered greatly from stress. I overate. I had 6 pop tarts yesterday. SIX at 200 calories each. I also ate a salad, a sandwich, and then I had two glasses of raspberry lemonade (at 110 calories a glass). Its my time of the month. I am incredibly bloated, miserable, and irritable. I pity anyone who dares to cross my path.

I am tired. Sick and tired of being tired. I am tired of going through my journey alone. I am tired of people telling me they arent on a diet or they dont want to worry about their weight loss. Ok, fine. But I am worrying about mine. I don't care if you want cookies and cake and pies, eat it elsewhere. I don't mind if you dont want to join Curves with me or whatever. It's okay.

But what I cannot do, is do this on my own. I can't sit here and tell you that I am okay with it. I am not. I dont have very many friends, no one really to turn to. I need someone to be by my side and make me do the shit I want to do that I have no gumption to do.

I broke down and cried today. I sobbed. Bawled. I told my husband how alone I was feeling how much I was struggling and no one seems to care (Note: PMSing this week. It seems so logical now...)

I told him I didn't give a shit anymore. I don't care how fat I get or how ugly I feel anymore. Fuck it. I don't care because no one else gives a damn. I am worked to the bone and pissed off that I can't even get the people closest to me to help out. Fuck it all. Then I threw my iPhone. It has a case on and works still, fyi.

I asked him to work out with me the other day and he said no. I was devastated. I accused him of being superficial and not being supportive and everything else.
I said I didn't care why should I bother no one else gives a damn I'm tired of being hungry of working out of not seeing results I am annoyed, angry, pissed off.

I want to be left alone. I want a hug. I want someone to support me and tell me I am doing well. I need someone to kick my ass into gear and just do it.

Hubby said that he would do all of that and more. I just had to tell him how I was feeling because he didn't know.

No one is trying to sabotage me. No one wants to see me fail. I was drowning in a moment of self pity and loathing. Luckily I have a hunky lifeguard to help pull me out of my lake of tears.

I am only so strong. I know I have what it takes to succeed. I have all the book knowledge and the numbers crunched I know what I need to do to win it. I know that I am capable of it. But I don't want to do it alone anymore. I'm tired of being lonely.

And that's it for my whining, loathing, self pity party. Tomorrow I will be back to me. I think its been a rough few days.

PS I ate amazingly well today and tracked it all. However I am feeling incredibly bloated and uncomfortable.

Sorry for the confusion....

I changed my blog addy and apparently, blogger doesnt automatically redirect, wth!? Google get with it.

Hope that you all found your way here again! I feel dumb. Oh well

Monday, April 5, 2010

Not too fat for this shirt anymore

Thats what today is all about kiddos! I wore a green shirt that I bought a few years ago but never really wore, because by the time I remembered I had it, I had already gotten too fat for it. It would ride up and my gut would hang out.

Anyway, today I wore it and not only does it no longer ride up and my tummy hang out anymore, it actually looks pretty good on me! YAY!

Now, time for todays measurements.

Bust: 42
Waist: 42
Hips: 49
Thigh: 29
Calf: 17
Arm: 12

Everything went up except my bust, waist and arm measurements. My bust and waist stayed the same while my arms went down 1.5"

Here is how last month looked measurements wise 

I also lost a lb, I am at 221, down from last week of 222.6

Honestly I didnt work out really all week. I also ate out Saturday, which means that my weekly goal of not eating out failed. :( But that's okay.

Today I went to the store and got a bunch of low-cal things and fresh produce! I peeled and chopped up my first ever cucumber today! I also got lemons, apples, tomatoes, and a salad mix with some arugula. Yummy. I got raspberry lemonade as well, which I love. And, there are NO artificial ingredients! It's made with filtered water, cane sugar, lemon juice, raspberry puree. Thats it. I can read them all! YAY

Weekly goals:

I will not eat out this week
I will eat all of my produce
I will work out every day this week
I will track my food

Weekly rewards:

I will watch Biggest Loser
I will paint my nails
I will use my favourite lotion every day

Daily Goal:
30 Day Shred

Daily Reward:

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Easter Meal

Wow I am impressed at how well I ate at Easter, considering.
I had one slice of ham prolly 2 oz or 3 oz
1 scoop of scalloped potatoes (my favorite)
1 scoop of scalloped corn
1 deviled egg
2 oz of cheese

and lots of peanut butter m&ms dammit! ARGH! Should've just made the damn pie lol

But I shared my m&m's with Goober. If he gets sick... sorry :(

I also had a Light Mike's hard lemonade.

I hadnt had the chance to sleep much this weekend, coupled with my drink am feeling pret-ty good right now.

Other than that not too bad. I have to get back on program tomorrow, I am not even kidding. Calorie Counting Queen that will be me! Must work out as well. 30 Day Shred. My anniversary is in 6 weeks! I want to be SHREDDED!

Also: Cant stop thinking about cucumbers and spinach. WTF.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Big Fat Greek Meal

Okay I am really on post 194 I found a bunch of drafts I never intended on finishing

My in laws stopped by today with easter cookies (one for each of us, mine was pink, his was blue) and then we went to eat at a Greek & American place, which i never experienced before. I didn't realize how much FOOD they gave you my goodness. My side salad was as big as what you get at a salad bar.

and it was delicious, I had cucumber, red onion, spinach, tomato and a few other things on it, I ate about 10 or 15 bites of it which was plenty for me. Then came my meal. I got pastichio which is like this macaroni/ground beef casserole with this yummy baked topping on it. it also came with pita bread, yum, and rice pilaf.

cheese and rice, i am telling you that it was intense. I had PLENTY of left overs. I loved it. Next time though, I will get what my father in law got, he had chicken skewers.

Hubby said it was the best deep fried shrimp he ever had. LOL he really liked it.
I am not kidding at how much food they gave us. Our table was covered in plates. I had 3 plates of food lol. The Greeks arent shy on food thats for sure. It was fairly cheap too. I had way more food than I would have gotten at another eatery for about $5 less a person.

Yesterday's food log

Yesterday I had

Ramen noodles 360 calories
Grilled chicken taquitos (2) on low carb high fiber tortillas, with fat free shredded cheese and taco sauce, 350 calories
Sherbet 1 cup 210 calories
Apple and caramel dip 200 calories
two bottles of water.

1320 calories for the day, 80 under budget.

I need to drink two more bottles of water a day.

Goals today:

Log everything. Cannot stress this enough. I even have reminders set up on my phone.
So once again... LOG EVERYTHING! Its not that hard Christie. GOSH!
Eat an apple today.

I am pretty stressed out and strapped for time (quite literally, I barely get any sleep today, 4 hours max!) so I will be hard pressed to work out. Stupid weekends. Grr. Still going to try something. Maybe EA active.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Post 200 and 6 weeks.

YAY 200th post woot woot!
I dont know why I am happy about that. Means I am addicted to blogging, thats what it means lol

Anyway. I looked at my calender, and today marks 6 weeks until my first anniversary! Holy shit. I wanted to be under 200 lbs by that day. I wonder if I can do it. Anyway, I made it a personal goal to do 30 day shred every day. EVERY day. Until my anniversary. I dont care if I dont lose a single pound (okay, I do... I'd like to lose weight) I know that I am doing really well. Last month, I lost 13" off my body, and 7" off of my waist (yes I am bragging!) Weight loss isnt the most important. The inches are. I know that the weight will eventually drop off. Its now a mantra.

I ate cucumber yesterday, which was alright. I am not a fan of seeds, so I will have to de-seed mine from now on.
I have been craving salad. I know, wth... Salad? I want arugula so bad.

I have been having trouble with my wrist lately, it hurts almost all of the time, which is annoying. I will have to do 30DS without my hand weights, which is alright, not wanting to make my wrists hurt worse.

Yesterday I had a bad day, kind of whining and crying, boohooy. I think its because I had a bunch of enchiladas (2) a bunch of chips (????) with refried beans (fat free) and salsa, not to mention sherbet, and cookies... ugh. I hate company. that was the day before

I ate well yesterday though, but I would be lying if I said I tracked everything. I have been drinking lots of water, lots of it. I pee every 15 minutes now. Which is very annoying.

I dont have anything really in the house that I can make quick meals out of. I will have to make a big pot of something to keep so I can measure out a serving and eat it pretty much all week. I was thinking chicken noodle soup, homemade. Will have to look into it.

Other than that, nothing much.

6 Weeks until I am Shredded. I can do it. 44 Days. 30 minutes a day.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Post 199...

I did a load of laundry, did a load of dishes, cooked enchiladas. They were a bit spicy for me, but I am a big wuss when it comes to spice. I mean, seriously, the only heat I put in was a tsp of red pepper flakes...

Anyway... We still had company over and ran out of drinks so I ran to the store and bought more, the guys hinted they wanted sherbet and I bought Rainbow kind, because nothing is better than orange, lime and RASPBERRY!

Also bought sugar cookie dough, which thankfully mutated into huge cookies and then erm stuck to the pan so that failed miserably.

Other than that a very uneventful day. I did get my nap in. Oh, and I also broke my laptop, at least momentarily. No surprise there. It wouldn't boot, then when it finally did, it said that there were no networks around to connect to. LOL so hubby had to fiddle with it and got it all sorted.

A few days ago, my mom said that since I have started taking control of my life and weight again that I am not depressed or as emotional anymore. Hubby also confirmed this. Last night I had a really bizarre dream. I was arguing with my mom that we should take Goober for a walk because it was 75 degrees out and she was telling me that I was acting stupid... so I got angry and emotional and she kept making fun of me.

Now... I think this was my sub-conscience having an argument with itself. One half, portrayed by my mom, wanted me to stay in bed where it was lovely. The other half, angry irrational me, wanted to go outside today, because it is in fact, 75 degrees out today.
I am not sure why my mom was in it...Sorry ma.

Yay, all my inner arguments happen in my sleep now... lol

As you may have guessed from the title, this is my 199th post, I was planning on doing something cool with number 200 but I don't have any time for that now. I will however, do something incredibly awesome when I reach my next benchmark of 25 lbs.

Anyone see any good April Fools' jokes today? Deviantart made everyone's avatars either Team Edward or Team Jacob from Twilight, which annoys me as I hate Twilight.
Gmail and Google deleted all the vowels from the page... but thats all I've seen so far.