Sunday, May 31, 2009


UP was such an awesome movie.

Saw it yesterday with hubby, in regular format
Saw it today with mom and hubby in 3D format.

Not much of a difference, but if you love Pixar shorts, you only see it on the 3D version.

Yesterday I laughed so hard I cried

today mom and I laughed so hard we cried.

Of course, we were the only ones laughing....

Because it was a sad moment in the movie.

Friday, May 29, 2009

My Pen!

Hubby lost his tablet pen.

We spent hours looking for it.

Maybe it's in the couch?
No! My pen! where is it!?

Maybe it's under the desk?
No! My pen!

Checked all the closets, recliner, etc
Just in case I threw it in there!, he says.

Maybe some one stole it! he cries

Maybe I threw it away while cleaning! Mortified, he starts looking again.

Your wife stole it, suggests a friend.

The cats hid it, suggests another

My pen! he cries, I can't find my pen!

Use mine, I say.

My pen! he cries.

Order a new one, says I.

Resigned, he does so.

A New pen on the way! hurray!

We moved the recliner waaaay out the other day (we hooked up the computer to the 50" tv) and as we moved it back, we hear a CLINK!

What was it?

His pen.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

A Note From Mommy


Beautiful cat, why do you insist on clawing at the carpet and sinking your gorgeous pointy little teeth into every cord book paper?

I'd declaw you but Kiwi doesn't do any of this, it wouldnt be fair to declaw her either.

I love you but you are a nuisance.

Until you do this.

Monday, May 25, 2009


Out with hubby.

He kissed me and I wrinkled my nose

Not at the kiss but at his whiskers which are quite long.

Not to worry says he. I will shave sometime.

See how sweet he is?

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Officially One of Us

Despite all the negative comments and general rudeness....

We still received enough support from those who truly care about us, and even strangers on the street, when we told them He Wants MY Last Name..............

He took it. It's official. Why is this different than Friday when we got married? He told the Government, via the Soc Sec. Office.

New card in two weeks.

Boo freaking Yah!

I love him. Aww. Hubby.

Monday, May 18, 2009


We are finally married! It was a wonderful day to get married outside the courthouse, unfortunately, I don't have any pictures yet. I have to get them from the lucky people who had cameras.

We went to Cedar Point for our honeymoon, and it was awesome! We stayed right on the park and we had a great time.

We came home Sunday and ran straight to AT&T and cancelled our service with Sprint and got iPhones as our gifts.

Now we spend all day playing with our Apps and texting each other instead of talking.

Marriage is awesome.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Why We Suck (and Wedding stuff)

Just finished "Why We Suck" by (Dr) Denis Leary.

It took me three days lol which in my books is really um slow.

I really don't recommend you read it, because chances are, you will get offended. Horribly so. I didn't get offended. But that's because I already know my short comings and accept them, but I also know they aren't as bad as yours.

Some examples from the book:

Bad parenting (This one is so freaking true, it's scary)
Why we are fat and lazy
Steroids and other drugs, both OTC and script.
How your kid is not special (nor will he ever be)
Why diseases such as ADD don't exist for kids. (How can he have ADD yet play a game 12 straight hours? ADD means NOT being able to concentrate for long periods of time. I know. I have it.)

Go ahead and argue all the above isn't true, but in reality, yeah... it is. Get over it.

I have accepted I am a fat, loud, lazy American who will never do Great Things that will Change the World. But I also know that, given the circumstances, I am also loads better than some of the other people I run into on a daily or weekly basis. I know, should I have the ability to have kids, that I will be a Great Mom, just like my mom was. I know my husband (to be) will be a Great Dad.

But we also know right now we cannot provide for our children, should we have them now. Which is why birth control is so amazing. It lets me get my life in order, lets me have all the fun I want, do the things I want and when I decide to be a Mommy, I can just--boop!!--pop out that little device and be on my way to makin' babies.

I actually had a dream I had a teenaged daughter last night and she was wearing some slutty clothes, and I told her the same rule my mom told me. You can show your cleavage, your arms, your tummy, or your legs. One of those. Not two+. That makes you slutty. Then I made her change her clothes and I had the slutty shorts in my hand and I took a pair of scissors to them, cut them up and threw them away.

I told her what it REALLY means when you want a tattoo or a piercing, or any of the other shit I asked for when I was young. Why CANT you have those pants that lets your ASS hang out?! Probably because your ass is hanging out, I should think.

Anyway, it's a great book, and I am looking forward to the audio book, because Dr Leary himself reads it, and he makes me laugh like there's no tomorrow.

To his defense, he does NOT go on saying how shitty everyone and everything is. He loves the following in no particular order:

His wife and kids
His ma
Coffee flavored Coffee

And he has a great writing style, meaning he has ADHD and jumps around a lot on different tangents which is PERFECT because after reading 3 minutes of Red Sox crap (sorry, Dr Leary, hate baseball) he goes right back into why Americans suck and how to scare the shit out of the terrorists and WTF is George Jr really doing and don't you dare tell me how big my carbon footprint is Al Gore because you're just a dick who claims to have invented the Internet.

(See? I jump around too.)

Wedding crap.

Had another dream that I forgot to charge my camera and no one brought a camera and I was all upset then a T REX came from like NOWHERE! and ruined the whole thing anyway which made me doubly pissed because why don't I have a camera when TREX is running around downtown?!

That could have been the Jagermeister or the fact I watched Jurassic Park 3 days ago. Or maybe it was the Red Bull.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Catbird Seat

When I was growing up, there was a thing called the "Catbird Seat"

For those of you who don't know, this is the special seat in the house which everyone wants but only the Alpha gets. And if the Alpha isn't around, it's the next highest ranked person. AKA The "Pecking Order".

Then, there are my dad's weird linguistics. Words he would use or make up, so young sensitive ears wouldn't be repeating the true meaning.

Here's what I mean:

Tough dog puckies translates to Tough dog shit
Naked as a jaybird (because jaybirds don't wear clothes? idk on that one.)
Skin of a buck = Son of a bitch (I presume, since he always said it when something went wrong...)

Then there is a famous song he sings, join in if you know the lyrics...

There's a skeeter on my peter, knock it off.
There's a skeeter on my peter, knock it off.
There's a dozen on my cousin, can't you hear those bastards buzzing?
There's a skeeter on my peter, knock it off!

We used to sing this around a campfire, believe it or not.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Odd dreams

I am plagued by nightmares constantly. On average, I have at least 5 a week. I have had nightmares for as long as I can remember, since I was a little kid.

When I was young, I used to dream there was an alligator under my bed and he would eat all my flesh off and I would have to go to school as a skeleton. (Fucked up for a 10 year old, eh?)

Then I would have dreams of angry mobs trying to lynch me and Lady from Lady and The Tramp and we escape into a marsh, where alligators eat us.

As I entered my preteen/teen years I had nightmares about being kidnapped, raped or hunted by a serial killer. This one I blame Mom for, as she was always putting stories in my head about that stuff. (Which is all true, I mean people have gone through that stuff)

Then it's the usual stuff, zombies and horror films. After I saw the Ring I had to sleep with my light on for a month. After I saw the Grudge, I couldn't take a shower if no one else was home.

Lately, I've been having nightmares about getting married. Either we're late for our own marriage, or something happens to the Beloved and I have to marry some douche. Or some crackpot invited my ex and I had to play nice. Personally, I hope that part doesn't come true.

Last night I had a dream my mom and I got in an argument about my choice of friends (this is odd) and she said I couldn't be friends with them anymore (like I still live at home) and I was making her French toast and I told her I was angry with her and she told me to leave and never come back, so I spit on her toast.

All that's really strange, because my mom is one of my best friends, and I never would get in such a stupid argument with her. As for spitting on her French toast, um that's just gross.