Why We Suck (and Wedding stuff)

Just finished "Why We Suck" by (Dr) Denis Leary.

It took me three days lol which in my books is really um slow.

I really don't recommend you read it, because chances are, you will get offended. Horribly so. I didn't get offended. But that's because I already know my short comings and accept them, but I also know they aren't as bad as yours.

Some examples from the book:

Bad parenting (This one is so freaking true, it's scary)
Why we are fat and lazy
Steroids and other drugs, both OTC and script.
How your kid is not special (nor will he ever be)
Why diseases such as ADD don't exist for kids. (How can he have ADD yet play a game 12 straight hours? ADD means NOT being able to concentrate for long periods of time. I know. I have it.)

Go ahead and argue all the above isn't true, but in reality, yeah... it is. Get over it.

I have accepted I am a fat, loud, lazy American who will never do Great Things that will Change the World. But I also know that, given the circumstances, I am also loads better than some of the other people I run into on a daily or weekly basis. I know, should I have the ability to have kids, that I will be a Great Mom, just like my mom was. I know my husband (to be) will be a Great Dad.

But we also know right now we cannot provide for our children, should we have them now. Which is why birth control is so amazing. It lets me get my life in order, lets me have all the fun I want, do the things I want and when I decide to be a Mommy, I can just--boop!!--pop out that little device and be on my way to makin' babies.

I actually had a dream I had a teenaged daughter last night and she was wearing some slutty clothes, and I told her the same rule my mom told me. You can show your cleavage, your arms, your tummy, or your legs. One of those. Not two+. That makes you slutty. Then I made her change her clothes and I had the slutty shorts in my hand and I took a pair of scissors to them, cut them up and threw them away.

I told her what it REALLY means when you want a tattoo or a piercing, or any of the other shit I asked for when I was young. Why CANT you have those pants that lets your ASS hang out?! Probably because your ass is hanging out, I should think.

Anyway, it's a great book, and I am looking forward to the audio book, because Dr Leary himself reads it, and he makes me laugh like there's no tomorrow.

To his defense, he does NOT go on saying how shitty everyone and everything is. He loves the following in no particular order:

His wife and kids
His ma
Coffee flavored Coffee
Oprah
Dogs
Horses
Boobs

And he has a great writing style, meaning he has ADHD and jumps around a lot on different tangents which is PERFECT because after reading 3 minutes of Red Sox crap (sorry, Dr Leary, hate baseball) he goes right back into why Americans suck and how to scare the shit out of the terrorists and WTF is George Jr really doing and don't you dare tell me how big my carbon footprint is Al Gore because you're just a dick who claims to have invented the Internet.



(See? I jump around too.)

Wedding crap.

Had another dream that I forgot to charge my camera and no one brought a camera and I was all upset then a T REX came from like NOWHERE! and ruined the whole thing anyway which made me doubly pissed because why don't I have a camera when TREX is running around downtown?!


That could have been the Jagermeister or the fact I watched Jurassic Park 3 days ago. Or maybe it was the Red Bull.