Monday, July 18, 2011

The Battle of Minds

Mmmm friends. Friends, my mind is in turmoil. Well not really, but I am struggling. I'm struggling because my clothes are no longer fitting. I'm struggling because my waist is expanding. I know realistically, that this is the baby growing, not me. Here I sit, ever consistent at 222.8. Yet I feel like a balloon.

I took my measurements for the heck of it. I mean, why not! And I did not like the numbers. Boy... I am never doing that again.

My bust is 47 inches now, up 6 inches from the last time I measured it (Admittedly in April)
My waist... oh my waist... measured straight across the belly button... is 47 inches. Which is up 8 inches from my last measurement. I know that's all baby...but still...

My hips are 51 inches, up 4.

My body is obviously becoming a baby making machine. I know this. Yet its sad and a little bit overwhelming. I spent the last 3 years doing everything I could to be smaller. And these numbers are growing.

But, as Brian pointed out, it's not me growing. I've been at 222ish this entire pregnancy. Which means, as my waist and bust and hips expand... its not me. It's the baby. Which likely also means... I've actually lost weight.

The baby can't be growing and me staying consistent. So I have to be losing and the baby has to be gaining for the numbers to make sense. And it's true.

But I need to feel these feelings. I need to accept my body is changing. I need to get over myself. :)
And I will. I just need a couple of days to sort it all out. In the meantime, I have changed some things and now I am happier.

Firstly, I traded stationary bikes with my brother in law. He has a recumbant bike he doesn't use any more. I have Stella which I can't use any more. I can't sit on her for more than a few moments without my back hurting and my tummy hurting. So we traded. The recumbant has a nice cushy back rest and an elongated shape... it's sexy.

15 minutes a day. I did 8 last night just taking it for a test spin.

Also I got some more of my maternal clothes in the mail today. I got the shorts and that white and grey top. Sexy. The shorts? No zip. No button. All elastic. Perfect!

Anyway, so that's what's going on. Part of me is all like "wee! I look pregnant!" and the other part is like "OMG! What's going on!?" I'll get it all figured out though. I'm a champ.

1 comment:

  1. Aw... It' okay! This too shall pass. Just think, once the baby is gone, you'll be falling out of all your previous clothes!

    Accepting our bodies are changing (no matter what those changes may be) is tough stuff. But our bodies are only going to continue to change for the rest of our lives! I'm sure your son will think Mom is beautiful no matter what.


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