4.5 of 13.1

Last night I wanted to do a half marathon (again) on my Stella bike and I did 4.5 miles, 400 calories, and then called it quits. I was tired. Not just like boohoo this is hard work I want to quit tired, but more like goodness I have been busy all day no sleep sort of tired. It seems like I can not get over this hump. I am thinking its a mental battle now more than anything as I really WANT to do this. I want to push myself.

But its like I get road block or something.

Like a "Do not pass go, do not collect 13.1 miles"

Blink blink.

Maybe I am trying too hard. Maybe I am pushing myself in the wrong manner. I mean, 4.5 miles is a lot for someone who is barely active (me) and I feel like I should be doing more because others I know are. My best friend's boyfriend competed in a 500 mile bike race a month ago. And finished. He is also riding his bike from one end of Indiana to the other.

I offered my house as a rest stop, because lets face it, thats just retardedly excessive.

But I shouldnt be comparing myself to him, or to anyone else really. I sit on the bike and think gosh, I have been at this for 30 minutes and havent gone 5 miles. So-and-so would probably have done 20.

then I get depressed discouraged, and I quit.

Really I should be celebrating! I did 4.5 miles! In only 28 minutes! Wow! You know?

We I need to work on my mental attitude.

A lot.

I have been on plan so far today. I had a protein shake for breakfast. I am working again and have planned out my meals and snacks accordingly. I also went to the store and bought some easy, ready made things. Part of my fast food problem is "I dont have anything I can make in 5 minutes or less, so fast food is the option"

Hah! Im on detox now, baby, and I am sure it will be an adventure.

Today's plan goes something like this:

11.00 am Wakeup. Protein shake.
1.00 pm Snack
3.00 pm Protein shake for lunch
5.00 pm Snack
6.30 pm Dinner
9.00 pm Snack

Water, water, water. I am going to drink as much water as I can manage today. It feels good to be on plan, and to actually track what is going into my mouth. The protein shakes are filling but it lacks that ...chewing factor. I like to chew. Maybe thats how I got fat??? HA!

I like drinking my meals though, it makes it convenient. Also because its super chocolately flavored, it feels like its actually a shake-shake. But you know, with out all the fat. And its loaded with vitamins. Lets see... 190 calories, 6g fat, 10g protein, and 5g fiber. Not bad.

I really should eat a little more protein though, as I just had my shake at 11 and its 12.15 now and I am starting to feel some hunger pains. I think I will drink some water. I have a break coming up in a little bit, I might do some exercising while I am at it, and try to get it in.

Later tonight we are going over to my brother-in-law's new place. He and his girlfriend just got a house that they are renting and want to show us. Its my first time meeting the girlfriend.

Next Sunday, being Fathers day, we are headed to see the rest of hubby's family. Grandparents, aunts (I think?) and some other people I havent met or seen since our wedding. Goodness. Its a busy week in the HTMLN-household as Monday is an interview for him and Wednesday is a meeting for me, and of course, Curves on M, W, F, and Aquacise on Tuesday. Also if the weather is nice, I will be swimming/sunbathing. All in all, if I stay on plan 100% until Sunday, I should see a good loss.

Tomorrow, being Monday, means Curves and I am going to get weighed and measured too, and start reporting that again. I have been slacking in that area and I suspect my eating patterns are to blame. I've been exercising like a nut but eating like a fool and its definitely stalled my weight loss. Hoping to jump start it again and get back on track.

I can do this. Its only food. Its only food. Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.... Repeat to self when urges strike.