What is THAT?

I'm really constipated. It's part of pregnancy. 1 part hormones, 1 part upped iron intake, 100% annoying. Now I used to get this way before I was with child; like the migraines, it's just more intense, not more frequent.

I was talking to my mom today and I told her I was so tired of all the bulls#$% that they say you can't take during pregnancy. Not because it will cause birth defects, but because there is not significant data that says it's harmful or safe. So screw it.

I wanted relief. I wanted a laxative.

I set out on a mission. Brian drove me to Wal-Mart, and we find ourselves faced with the laxative aisle.

I start pulling medications off the shelf, reading the labels. For what? Information on how long it will take before it starts working and I get relief.

Ex-lax, usually my go to brand, works in 6-12 hours. Not good enough this time. I am in so much pain that I can't even sit up straight. I need something faster.

Four to six hours... getting closer, but I still can't wait... I feel like I am going to die. Keep searching.

Finally it hits me... Laxative suppositories! I find one and I turn it over, look it up and sure enough. Relief in 15 minutes to 1 hour. Or sooner! "Suppository does not need to melt completely for laxative to take effect."

Like a good little medicine drone, I read all the information on everything anyway, and not one mention about pregnant women. Good!

I tell Brian this is what I want, and he said

"What is it?"
"It's a suppository."
"A sup..pos..itory?"
"Yes."
"What is that?"
"You don't know?"
"No."
"Ha, okay. Well it's not something you take orally."
*blank stare*
"Then... what do you do with it?"
"You shove it up your butt hole." *makes a motion with index finger*
*pause*
"Ooookay. Does it work?"
"Want to try it out?" >:)
"No thanks."