Monday, September 19, 2011


Brian and I are going back and forth on this whole 2nd baby shower thing.. it's become a mess to be honest and we aren't quite sure how to handle it.

Do we have the party here at our apartment and risk alienating family members who have difficulty climbing stairs?

Do we rent our apartment complex clubhouse and foot the bill ourselves? It's $200 ($100 of that is a deposit that would be returned)

Do we not even have another party?

It's frustrating because we had asked his mom to plan it for us (trying to be nice) but it all sort of back fired because she doesn't want to make any decisions. Any decisions we made and told her about, she didn't agree with. So now we are stuck in a weird-limbo-etiquette-thing. How do you kindly say "Thanks but we'll take over from here!"

I don't know. But I need to get it figured out now, because we are wanting to do this October 22nd.

Brian's at the point now where he would just rather not have one. I'm almost there myself. This whole thing is causing a lot more heart ache than it is worth, simply because we feel trapped. Are we really? Who is to say, I don't know. I am sorely tempted to do our own thing because that is what we need to do, what ever our own thing is.

The thing is, his family is so large that any place we would do it at would have to be either our apartment or his parent's house, and she doesn't want anyone over there. Which is fine. So we are left between hosting it ourselves and renting somewhere out. It's frustrating, to say the least. One moment I want to have a party because I want his family to feel included in our lives, and the next moment I am saying I don't want to have a party, and we'll be fine.

We've both tried talking to his mom about it, but it's gone nowhere fast and I just don't see a resolution. I also sort of don't want 30+ people in my apartment.

So I don't know. I will have to ask Brian what he thinks (again) and try and figure this out with him. We have already calculated the costs of hosting it here vs renting, so that helps. But we also need to figure out the amount of emotional stress this is going to cause. Renting is certainly easier- it takes the pressure off of us and having an immaculate apartment. Hosting is far cheaper, but comes with added pressure. Hmm...

I will have to stew on this some more.

Any thoughts or ideas would be great, considering I have none. Either way, we are doing a potluck, so that takes out the cost of food.


  1. I would say, instead of a traditional "baby shower" why not do a luncheon? A buffet wouldn't be a bad way to go. Everyone would be expected to pay for their own meal, and all you'd have to do is reserve a table. End of story. Pick some place casual that you like to go and that way people who just bring a card won't feel as if they didn't contribute, you'd get to spend time with everyone, and whoever doesn't come, doesn't come. Or check out local parks and do a "family picnic" in honor of the newest family member.

    As I've learned with wedding planning, it's IMPOSSIBLE to make everyone happy.

    Whatever you choose, it's vital that this: a) BE FUN, and b) NOT be a financial burden on you guys. You have enough coming up with the baby. If it's too stressful, it's probably a sign that you're heading in the wrong direction.

  2. I had 3 baby showers and honestly my favorite one was the one we had at a restaurant! It was simple. We didn't have to worry about cooking, cleaning, cleaning after or paying. Everybody paid their own way and the staff at Chili's cleaned up after us.

  3. What a terrible thing to happen!! Can you make due until after and have a meet the baby shower? My mom did this and seriously I got SO much great stuff & frankly it was far better than my in-laws pre-shower.


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