I'm so ready for a break. I'm completely worn out mentally, emotionally, and physically.
I have a hard time focusing on anything. Call it pregnancy brain if you want, but it doesn't matter. It is affecting my everything.
My Kindle froze last night while I was reading it, and I thought for sure that it had broken. They are notorious for that, after all. I couldn't help it. I broke down and I cried and I cried over it. It's fine, I just had to restart it. Well, Brian did a force restart and it was fine. I cried in the bathroom, great big tears streaking down my face, blubbering away.
Maybe it was part hormone related. I don't know. It certainly didn't feel like it was all hormones... I think I've just gotten myself to that point where I was about to break down over anything- all I needed was that little push, and suddenly I'm as wobbly as Jell-o.
I almost feel like I am battling depression right now. I just want to sleep. I don't want to cook, I don't want to dress, I don't want to shower. I just want to lay in bed all day. Hell, it could still be symptoms of caffeine withdrawal. *shrug* I dunno.
I did do one nice thing for myself. I made sure that I had 2 days off from work. 48 full hours of not working.
I'm hoping this will help me feel better. One of those days will be spent with family in Valparaiso- celebrating Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Grandpa's Birthday. I'm really excited to go see them. We are also going to try and squeeze in a visit with Brian's former sister in law, who recently had a baby. Ohhh yes! I've been wanting to get my grubby little hands on a baby for a while now hehehehe
One thing I am doing is forcing myself to slog through it when I have to, taking a Xanax when I need one, and making sure not to go too hard on myself. This too, shall pass.
Oh I don't mean to sound like a Negative Nancy. I'm still in general very happy with my life and how things are going, it's just sort of a gray patch right now. I'll get through it. I always do :)