Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Reality Check

Yesterday I was so filled with First World Problem Drama. I was complaining that I had to go to the hospital to check out my PRE TERM LABOR to make sure that the baby was safe.

I was complaining that I was in observation for a few hours to make sure that both me and the baby were safe and that, if I did end up going into active labor, it wouldn't cause the baby too much stress.

Drake's heartbeat is the strongest it's ever been. And incredibly steady. I have a very healthy, active baby. I am a very low risk pregnancy. Well, a little higher now that I have been deemed at risk for preterm labor... but in 2 short days that label will disappear. Drake will be considered full term on Thursday.

Sometimes its really hard to see the forest for the trees, and yesterday was no exception. Here I was, scared, nervous and excited that our little twosome was about to grow to three.... and nothing. Nothing happened. No progression. Sent home and told to "take it easy."

What does that even mean?

As I lay in bed in the early hours of the morning today, listening to the dog and Brian snore in concert, I realized I was selfish. Selfish for being upset that I didn't get to have a baby yesterday. Sure, real emotions and real emotions that I felt. But when I think about how lucky I am... well then I feel a little guilty. I mean, 200 years ago, women didn't have a whole lot of medical help when it came to birthing babies. Men weren't allowed to be in the room, except for the doctor. Women often died in childbirth.

I'm very lucky.

That being said, I can still be a little miffed about my circumstances. I'm not letting them get to me any more though. I am doing my best to make sure that Drake gets all the extra time he needs, if he so chooses he needs extra time.

Taking it easy... haha. I am a very sedentary person by nature so that makes me laugh that I am told to take it easy. How much easier could I possibly take it? I'm practically home bound! I guess the next step is bed rest... so that's what I've been doing today.

Laying in bed. Only getting up long enough to feed myself and to go to the bathroom. Otherwise, most of my day has been spent laying in bed sleeping, or playing on the iPad.

I've had ONE contraction since coming home. It was really faint though- about half the strength I was getting them. It came 700 minutes after the last one lol (over 11 hours). Early labor is one of those tricky things- it can last for a few hours or a few days. It can start up, stop, and then start up again a few days later. Talk about being the ultimate "waiting game".  The baby has been dancing up a storm though. Wiggling about doing somersaults.

It was a humbling day too, Brian having to tell everyone at his work that we didn't have the baby; me telling friends and family the same thing.

But soon! Soon we will have that awesome phone call and that little baby in our arms. Patience never was one of my strengths. Alright, I've been vertical long enough today, back to bed.

1 comment:

  1. I think you've got the right perspective on this thing, though you deserve to be a tad selfish about it...you are anxious to starting mothering and stop carrying...not surprising...

    At least you know that you'll be thankful for the blessings that you've had.


COMMENT. You know you have an opinion, air it!