Sunday, January 22, 2012

At Least I'm Trying

I have a lot of thoughts running through my mind right now.

I'm trying not to stress about this car situation.
I'm trying to figure out how to be a parent (so far the general consensus is "wing it")
I'm trying to remember to take care of myself. To eat, to shower, to stay hydrated, to take all of my damn pills.
I'm trying to feel my feelings.
I'm trying to encourage Brian to do the same.
I'm trying to realize that it is okay to cry.
I'm trying to remember what it was like to poop without being in pain.
I'm trying to relish each moment of sleep.
I'm trying to take in all the little moments with Drake.
I'm trying to be a good wife and a good mother.
I'm trying to get used to the idea that I am a mother.
I'm trying to walk the path of what is right, not what is easy.
I'm trying to get used to the fact that I am bovine in nature- a grazer and a milk maker.
I'm trying to remember my own name.
I'm trying not to hold any expectations.
I'm trying not to let the moment get the best of me.
I'm trying not to let the hormones rule my emotions.
I'm trying to get used to the damn pump
I'm trying not to take the pump in vain.
I'm trying not to let other's opinions sway me.
I'm trying not to forget that I am not being given any more than I can handle.
I'm trying to believe that it will get better.
I'm trying to remember why I thought it was a good idea to work such late hours

All I can do is try.

2 comments:

  1. Seems to me that you are also "doing" instead of "trying"...you are DOING wonderfully!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hang in there, everything will come together and work out.

    ReplyDelete

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