21 days ago... holy crap! Drake is definitely changing! His little personality is beginning to emerge. He loves being changed- both diaper and clothes. It cracks me up, he can be screaming his head off that he is wet/dirty/uncomfortable... but the second I lay him on the changing table, he stops because he knows he is getting changed. Funny. He also is a very mellow, relaxed baby... unless he is hungry, then he becomes the DEMON CHILD THAT WAILS until he gets fed. It's that exact pitch that just sends shivers down the spine and makes your ears want to bleed... you want to just toss him off the balcony at that point. But of course, the second you stick a bottle in his food hole, he's fine. Reminds me a lot of uhm... me. He is also starting to stretch out too, his legs are almost always extended (unless he is sleeping) He is so so alert, and can push his head up and hold it for increasingly longer periods of time. It's amazing.
How am I doing? I'm okay. Lots of changes. I am losing weight rapidly, partly from not really eating as regularly as I should be (sleep is more important) and partly from pumping. I cannot keep up with Drake's feeding demands. I just don't produce enough, despite constant pumping and keeping up fluids. I'm starting to think it's an intake problem- I'm not eating enough to sustain the supply. I'll have to try better.
I'm back to wearing my pre-pregnancy fat clothes, well tops/shirts anyway. Pants are still maternity, but that is alright. I am happy to be able to wear anything I want again.
I decided to do something nice for me and possibly the nicest gift I could give myself (aside from sleep) was some new clothes. I bought two new tops and a pair of pants.
I fell in love with the tops :) I love a good sweater these days, simply because I am constantly cold. The crochet trim halter tank will look awesome under a cardigan and be perfect for those pesky doctor's appointments when I am required to get out of the house lol
My mental health is much more sound this week too. After getting the car taken care of, I have been fine, no sudden weepiness or anything like that. I may be over the hump of baby blues, or it could have been I had a lot of time outside the house this week. Probably a little of column A and a little of column B.
My skin is definitely affected by hormones. Every square inch of it is dry dry dry! The skin on my face is especially dry and patchy. It feels like a Brillo pad. I've been trying to remember to moisturize it, and it's doing better... but it's the worst it's ever been in my life. Which, still, isn't that bad.
I realized if I missed a dose of my iron pills, I feel like shit. I start getting really cold and I just feel really off. If I take my iron pills, I find myself very warm... probably how normal people feel. Our apartment is set at a warm 74 degrees, which is too warm for Brian, perfect for the baby, and not nearly warm enough for me. This could also explain my fascination with really hot showers too... I feel like a lizard, who constantly has to soak in radiant heat to regulate my body temperature. It's weird and frightening, really, if you think about it. I've set alarms and reminders to make absolutely sure that I take my iron. I do not want to be anemic any more.
I'm really starting to enjoy being a mom. I know that there are still days where it will be really trying... but I still love it. I enjoy my son so much. He is the light of my life, and I can't believe the little guy is here. I look at my husband and just sort of stare in awe that we created him and that he is ours, through and through.
Brian has the day off so I was promised that I could sleep all day to catch up on it a bit. We will see how that really goes, because it seems like I can never sleep anymore. I'm praying I will be able to.