If you noticed, I didn't post a weigh in on Sunday. I weighed in. I maintained my weight for the second week in a row, which is a bit surprising really.
I feel much better today. I think my cold has finally passed... to Drake. Dammit. He's been super fussy the last couple of days and he hasn't been drinking as much at feedings. He will only drink one ounce at a time and spits up more and more. His diapers are... gross. Let's just leave it at that. Poor kid sneezes and coughs a lot more than usual too. But hey- no hiccups! so there is something! (He usually has the hiccups for like an hour a day).
I have a doctor's appointment really effing early tomorrow morning. I was a little apprehensive about going... like usual... but this is sort of important. I think I am suffering from depression. I find it really hard to do anything lately. To get out of bed. To take care of Drake. To shower. To work. To read, or listen to music. To spend time with Brian. It's becoming ridiculous and I can't get myself out of it on my own. I spend a lot of my waking hours crying, and I have not been kind to myself. I can't seem to find any of my positive qualities lately. I think they all left when I decided to throw a pity party. I am not sure how long this has been going on... but it needs to stop.
So, tomorrow, I am going to tell my doctor that I need to be put on some sort of anti-depressant, because the Xanax isn't cut out to handle this.
Brian has the next three days off of work, and Drake is spending the weekend at my parents again. That means I will have help for the rest of the week. I am really looking forward to the break.