Monday, September 9, 2013

My Day After Tomorrow, Today.

I swear tiny humans have bipolar disorder. I know bipolar is a real thing, and I know lots of people suffer from it. I also know that children, especially toddlers, haven't got the correct emotional coping mechanisms yet. Hell, some adults don't. Or if they do, it's a bottle of pills or a bottle of Jack.

I definitely had a bad day with my son the other day, but like every dark cloud there is always a silver lining. And me? I'm a glutton for punishment optimist, so I always know that tomorrow is going to be better. And tomorrow was so much better.

But Today! Was. The. Best. Is the best. It's still today.

He woke up ass early (for him, anyway,) at 7:30. We proceeded to sit on the sofa together under blankets and cuddle while we ate pop-tarts and drank milk. Well he had milk, I double fisted Dt Dew  and water.

Breakfast of champions.
It's not too early for a smile
We watched cartoons for around an hour or so, then he started getting sleepy and cranky, so I asked him if he wanted to go back to bed? And he went over to the baby gate by the stairs waiting for me. I moved the gate, and away he went. He is a master of stairs already. It's kind of bittersweet. He doesn't even need my hand on the way up and most of the time on the way down. He wants to do it himself, but he knows he has to let me be in front or behind him, depending on the direction we are going.

He went down for a nap without so much as a peep and slept for 3 hours straight. It was bliss. I slept during that time :)

He woke up and wandered into my room before we went downstairs. As I got dressed, he stole my pillow.
Professional, right there.

I have gold satin sheets like a pimp.

Caught in the act.
Doesn't look even the least bit guilty.
He's all cheese, ladies. I have a feeling I will have offers of arranged marriages after these pictures hit the internet.

Then, as I was putting the pillow back in my room, he took off his diaper because he had pooped in it, and then I told him to throw it away and he did-without getting poop everywhere. Success!

We went downstairs (I was holding his poopy butt and took him down, that way he didn't leave a poop trail on the stair carpet) and he promptly laid down, legs up in the air. Ready for butt containment unit, Ma'am.

Color me impressed, son.

Then he brought me his sippy cup and I filled it with milk. "Say 'cup'!" I tell him. He gives me his biggest, melty-est smile ever and says confidently "BUP!" Yesssss, speak to me, my child. Let Mother absorb your sound waves and convert them into perceived language in the depths of my brain matter.

He then ate a hotdog. Bet your kids never eat hotdogs! Oh, you mean that's a staple food? Hmm. Well whatever, he ate one and he was happy about it.

Also- what is up with the Map from Dora the Explorer? Why does he take the most bassackwards way of getting somewhere? And why does he know where all the lost characters are? Is he some kind of serial kidnapper and gets his kicks "finding" them?

I'm the grumpy old troll.

So coming up on the blog- a makeup tutorial for the moms or the time-impaired. I promise it will be better than the last one- it will have video! Yay! Audio too, if you're lucky. Also, I review some apps that I have downloaded and what I think about them.

I want to show you the second attempt of my cartoon makeup- tell me what you think.

Second attempt.

I still need to get new contacts. That's hopefully on the agenda this month. See you next time, squidies.

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