Okay... I admit it. I binged this weekend. I went on a bender. It was like I tried as hard as I could to undo all of my hard work in the shortest amount of time possible.
I know everyone falls off the wagon and its just a matter of stopping, thinking, planning and then getting back up and running again.
So to help myself realize what a fat pig I can be, I decided to document everything that I had eaten, that I can remember.
I didnt track anything. Im sure I ate well over 2500 calories each of the last two days.
Yesterday I had half a home made bbq chicken pizza. I got a pillsbury classic crust, some bbq sauce, a 6 oz package of grilled chicken strips and half a bag of shredded cheddar cheese.
Then... we went to the movies. I had a bag of peanut butter m&ms, it was 230 calories for a serving, and there were 3.5 servings in the bag. I ate the whole thing.
I also had a large cherry coke.
I had a special dark hershey bar 180 calories
Then I had arby's. A chicken bacon and swiss. Fried. Then we shared a large mozzerella stick, which was 3 each.
I also had some yogurt.
Friday I was craving pizza. Specifically BBQ chicken. I almost ordered take out but listening to my mom, I didn't. I can't remember what I ate.
I know that I ate half a box of mac and cheese which was about 700 calories. I grilled a chicken breast in a honey mustard marinade. Oh. I also ate a corndog.
Anything else was just gluttony, as I was well over my calories for the day.
In two days, I gained back 2 lbs. I was so close to being under 220 for the first time in over a year and I got cocky. Sloppy. Fat.
I thought because I was so sore from doing 30 day shred one day, that it was okay.
Its not okay. It's not even fun. I had heartburn for the first time in months. I didnt feel good at all. I had digestive problems. My cat actually pawed open the bathroom door, took one whiff, made a sound like he was gagging, and then left.
lol
I also hurt my wrist the other day, lugging my fat ass around, I ended up straining it. So I had to ice my thighs and my wrist. Sigh.
But today I did some push ups on my stability ball. I had to push it against a wall so I wouldnt fall off it. Then I downloaded 30 Day Shred from iTunes and loaded it on to my iPhone, I am going to go to the fitness center tonight and listen to it while I work out. I need to push myself harder, and make myself do things I dont find exceptionally pleasant.
A quote from Ms Jillian: "If you want your body to change, then you have to put stress on it." Yes its hard. Yes it sucks. But I used to do this all the time. I just forgot what its like. Maybe I can reverse some of this damage before tomorrow's weigh in. But if not, it's okay. I'm allowed setbacks, slipups and slides, as long as I get back up.
I'm a fighter. I will not give up. I want sundresses not muu muu's.
Who's with me?
He took my last name when we got married. I took on the challenge of motherhood and losing the 80 lbs I gained
dont give up
ReplyDeleteYou'll be ok. I'm got married after loosing 16 lbs (144); tried to loose the 21 lbs I gained back (166) last year and I'm on my third time at this (186, down now at 174). The fattest I have been in my life. Dont be me.
ReplyDeleteI have learned that there can be lots of learning in your mistakes. Was there an event? Food? or Experience that set you off? Were you bored? Feeling sad? On your period? Write it down. Figure it out. And know next time you feel that way or do something you will be able to be prepared. There will be mistakes--but you know what? You've gotten this far, you are only succeeding!!
Remember: you have not outdone your weight loss. Drink water, and start again with your next bite. You don't want to snowball this loss--recover from it. And then think about how proud you are going to be able to be when you think "yea, I overcame that one weekend," and I didn't let it derail all my efforts.
hang in there you can do it , lets forget Easter pie this year we dont need it xx gramma
ReplyDeleteYou and your mom w/ the funny animal stories...cracks me up every time. lol. Girl, don't sweat it. Just like you said...it's about getting back up...that's what counts. You can do it! Also, I swear this is working for me...I take a 4c. water bottle, put 4 green teabags, and load it w/ hot water. I drink this almost everyday, but especially when I've had a splurge or mess up, the green tea helps a LOT. I'm not sure if it's the cleansing or the caffeine, but it helps me lose any little extra I might have gained from the splurge and it helps w/ the retained water from having too much sodium. I had to get past the taste but I've actually started to enjoy it and it has a lot of health benefits. The energy it gives is nice too. I hope your weigh-in goes well! :)
ReplyDeleteAnamarie- I would kill to be in Onederland. LOL Thanks for the encouraging words though. Im not giving up
ReplyDeleteGramma- No pie, we are having green stuff and I am making a modified version with strawberries too
Kim- I know we are so lucky to have crazy animals, good blog material if anything. I tried green tea and it was disgusting, but if you powered through it, I might try it again.
Don't worry I am not giving up. You have to document failures as well as successes. Besides, no one can be perfect. :)
I get the flavored green teas...they are more palatable than just plain green tea. I've been drinking lemon ginseng but they have all kinds of different ones. Yeah, sometimes even w/ the flavored kind it can taste a bit bitter, but I got used to it. You are so right about having to document failures as well as successes. I think when we are able to do that, then we are sure to succeed. :) Good luck!!
ReplyDelete