How to eat your veggies if you're a carnivore

Ever since I can remember I've never eaten veggies. EVER. I don't like a damn one. Every time I was "forced" to eat one, I would gag and throw up. I hated the taste. I hated the texture. And I hated whoever was trying to make me eat it, at the moment anyway. My poor mom. :( She tried!

This happened all through my life. I didn't like tomatoes, mushroom, spinach, broccoli, onion, green pepper, yellow pepper, any pepper! I dont even really like corn, though its a starch. Nothing. None of the "Easy" veggies. Definitely nothing hard core, like brussels sprouts or beets. Ewww. Forget okra. I don't even know what that is! Collared greens? Blech. Cauliflower, fuck off! No way!
I dont like fruit either, but thats a different blog post.

What is a carnivore to do? You can't eat healthy without your veggies, it's impossible. Sure I could throw away everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, in my pantry and fridge then stock up only on veggies and starve to death then eat some. But I would just pick up the phone and call delivery, so that'd be a waste.

Solutions? I have two of them. And they both are amazing.

The first is this handy-dandy cookbook called Deceptively Delicious by Jerry Seinfeld's wife, Jessica. It's for moms who are fed up with picky eaters, but since I am the picky eater, it works for me too. Basically you take all your veggies, cook them then stuff them in your food processor until they are a puree or slush. Then add to normal food. None the wiser.

The second is V8. A 6.5 oz can is a full day's serving of veggies. You can be trendy and microwave it, it tastes like tomato soup! OR if you find it disgusting that way (Like me!) then you can use it in any recipe with a "red" sauce. Lasagna? check! Spaghetti? Double check! Hamburger helper? Check! (Just replace one cup of water with the juice) Chili? CHECK! I start shoving it in everything. Anything not that color sauce, I buy frozen veggies and obliterate them in my magic bullet until they probably arent considered veggies any more and are more considered "liquid"

Now, I must mention that I have started to eat some veggies in their unaltered or obliterated form. I like spinach, tomatoes (only if they are diced) and green peppers. I can eat carrots if they are cooked, but not raw. I also put onion in everything now. As well as garlic. Mmm. But they don't count.

(I also love Spinach and Artichoke dip, but only because I discovered it while I was drinking and said hey this is delicious! hubby convinced me to make it at home, and again, I obliterated everything in my magic bullet. I got points for the creamiest dip!)

I write this blog because I have been reading a lot of vegan blogs lately and no matter how you dress up eggplant it still looks like rabbit food to me. I know I will never be a vegan and thats not the point. Even if I have to hide my veggies for the rest of my life, at least I am eating them. Maybe some day I can eat them in their natural form but I don't think so.