Am I done yet?

I hopped on my bike last night, and was riding. The whole time I kept thinking "only XX amount of calories/miles to go" and that ended up seeming very daunting. After 25.00 minutes I had only managed to go 3.6 miles and was at 360 calories. It was very discouraging to keep looking at what I had done and realizing it was nowhere close to the goal I had set for myself.

Maybe it was an unrealistic goal. Maybe my head wasn't in the game.

but at one point, I realized, instead of looking at how far I have *left to go* to look at *how far I have come*

Instead of whining that I was still 640 calories shy of my goal, I should have been looking at it like "woohoo I've already done 360 calories, I'm awesome"

Today I hopped on my bike for a quick 100 cal ride, one of many today. If I can spare 6-10 minutes 4 or 5 times a day, I can get in 500+ calories easy.

Still today I caught myself, counting down. I'm at 35 calories, only 65 left to go. Instead I was like woohoo, I've already gone 35 calories, thats a lot of a few moments of sitting here.

Its hard to change how I am thinking and I am wondering if that is the biggest part of the game. Am I strong enough in the mind to keep going when my inner voice tells me I should be done? Am I strong enough to ignore the voice that says "Am I done yet?"

Can I keep pushing myself? I believe the answer is "yes" I may not do it all at once, but I'll be damned if I dont get to the point where I can do a half marathon on a bike. I can already go almost 10 miles. Just 3.1 more and I will be there. That is awesome. Just to think last year at this time I could barely do anything like that, and to do a complete 180 and want to drive myself a little further each time makes me feel that much more successful.

I have all the time in the world to get my weight under control. Some people dont have that luxury, having to balance work, school, kids. I am lucky that I dont have to worry about any of that. I can do anything I put my mind to because right now, all I have is time. Stop twiddling your thumbs, Christie, and get your ass on the bike. Is it that hard? No. Do I always want to do it? No. Do I feel fantastic afterward? YES.

Today the scale said 224.2 down from 227.0 yesterday. My weight is fluctuating like crazy, and I am about done bothering with the scale.

PS: Hubby got the job. I knew he would.