Just looking for an excuse

I have mentioned before that I am a quitter. I haven't ever really finished anything that I have put my mind to. I am a procrastinator. But most of all, like everyone else, I want instant gratification.

This leads me to the blog title. Just looking for an excuse. Sometimes I am literally just looking for an excuse, a reason, justification for eating a whole jar of frosting. I am wanting to find the *reason* it would be *ok* to do "just this once".

Smart readers will note I just gave an excuse: "Just this once" hoo boy.

But I am not going to eat ice cream, or frosting, or anything like that. In fact I'm not even hungry, really. I just ate dinner. Corned beef hash. It was good.

Why am I suddenly feeling like I want to stuff my face full of frosting? Well, blame Sheryl there. She tweeted she wanted to eat a jar of frosting, but the feeling will pass and for a few moments, I was like "hey that is a really good idea! Maybe I'll get dressed and go to the store to do that!"

Then I realized I would have to get dressed. So there went that plan.

And then I moved on to something else. I wasn't feeling like I needed it anymore. I felt the twinge again when I went back to twitter and saw the tweet, but it passed. Just like her tweet said it would.

I think I will probably always be a procrastinator. I think I will always want the easy way out because who doesn't? I think I will always hope that there will be some sort of magic pill, or diet, or blah to make it all click. But I know there isn't. And I know I am not seeing what I really want-- instant gratification in the form of pounds lost-- But today, I journaled every bite I took.

Today I ate fruit.
Today I am not putting off my health and fitness.
Today I am strong.
Today I am lazy enough not to give into passing desires.

Now if you will excuse me, I have a victory dance to do.