Ok this morning, couldnt sleep. Blogged. Blogged about math. Holy schnikies dont do that anymore Christie. You confused people. You babbled. You sound like a drunken fool.
Disclaimer: No I wasnt drunk. I should have been though, by reading that post again. Yikes.
Let me sum up for you what happened.
Hubby and I went to store. Then I got a bright idea, hey lets run to the ATM after hours and deposit your birthday cash. Okay he says, and off we go. We do this 2-4 times a week, after hours. We aren't people persons. Or really bank persons.
So the nifty little atm lets you deposit cash with out an envelope. Usually we have a few fistfuls of ones and deposit that. This time, well this time we had bigger bills. And a bigger amount.
The machine takes the money tra-la-la-la- CRUNCH
Did you hear that?
Me: No... what happened? *playing on phone because this is taking longer than a minute*
Him: It made a weird sound.
Me: Did it? *oblivious*
Him: Watch it ate our money *snarky*
ATM: I'm sorry we are unable to complete your transaction have a nice day.
Us: WTF?! *insert incoherent sputtering and cursing here*
It actually ATE our money. So I call the branch associated with that ATM. They dont have a voicemail (SERIOUSLY?) and then I look online and can't talk to a live representative because its after hours.
This would be ok if we were depositing checks because they have our name at least on them. But this was CASH
Cold hard, once a year birthday CASH.
Cash enough to pay a few bills, cash. Cash enough to seriously FRET if it didnt go through cash.
So hubby is upset (understandably so) and feels it was his fault somehow, also it was his cash. It was my idea, my fault, and his cash.
SO I get to play hero. Hey it will all be okay let me take care of it I am amazing, super woman in disguise hero moment.
I called said bank. I googled. I looked online at the bank website. I did everything in my power at 10:15 pm that I could possibly do. And then I said I'll call them first thing when they open.
Everyone was happy. We laughed, we giggled, we put the groceries away. We played racing games on the PlayStation 3. Hubby was over it. I was the hero. I never play the hero. I'm the panicky, anxious mess. But I didnt do that this time.
No I was crystal clear. There were none of the usual thoughts. It was beyond my control at that point in time and instead of getting sick to my stomach as per usual, I handled everything calmly. I didnt even really get upset. I didn't curse (much). I didn't scream. I didn't sob.
Until I tried to go to bed at midnight. Hubby came to give me hugs and kisses and asked if I wanted him to cuddle me until I fell asleep. I said no but really meant yes. He took it at face value and went into the living room (which I dont blame him for)
Then I hugged his pillow and cried and sobbed and snuffled and boo hoo'ed. He heard me and came in asking what was wrong. I didn't want you to go! <--Reason I started crying. I'm so frustrated at the ATM <--Real reason. I don't like being the hero! I dont like being the strong one boo hoo hoo <--And there we have it all, the whole story.
At that moment I realized I was feeling some really silly, really real emotions. After blowing my nose several times and snuffling more than Snufflufflegus, I calmed down. But I couldn't sleep.
I knew it would all get sorted. I KNEW it would. What bank steals money from you and doesnt give it back? What bank knows their ATM can be faulty at times and isnt prepared to take action? The money was physically THERE. It wasnt going anywhere. I knew all of this. Logically, I accepted it.
Emotionally, well... I am going to blame my depression on that one. Its getting better (Sure you say... after you cried like a ninny all night long) but it really IS getting better. It will take some time for it to completely go away, probably a few weeks.
Two days ago I wanted nothing more than to hold my fat cat and cry all day long. Yesterday I broke down after a stressful incident hours after it happened and I dealt with it calmly. Thats progress.
I have been living with it a while I think, especially since my doctor was having me skip my monthly time to try and regulate it. So I was erm backed up emotionally/hormonally. And now the flood gates have opened.
In other news, the National Weather Service has issued a severe flood warning for the area surrounding my bedroom. Husbands take shelter immediately and use boxes of Kleenex's to stem the flow.
I finally took a Xanax and fell asleep at 7 this morning. I woke up at 10:30 when hubby called to let me know he contacted the bank and they gave us our money back. I called the doctor for a refill of my Xanax (I'm out.) I am wanting to go back to sleep.
But I needed to get this off of my chest.
Also, I am eating much better today. I made an omelette at 6 am of egg beaters, cheese, garlic, green onion, pepper and spinach. It tasted like FAILURE as I put WAY too much cheese and green onion in. I had a bite and could barely swallow it. Then I made a smoothie with soy yogurt (which looks disgusting but is delicious) blueberries, raspberries, and chocolate protein powder, splash of milk. I had about 2/3 of that and couldnt finish it. The seeds in the raspberries aggravated me. Other than that it was the smoothest, creamiest smoothie EVER.
For lunch I had a chicken wrap. The wrap is low carb, 94% fat free, and is made of soy flour and oat fiber. It is also seasoned, so it smells delicious. Garden Vegetable. Mmmmmm. Drooling. 8g fiber, 12g total carbs, 7g protein (from the soy, naturally) Then I put sliced chicken on there with provolone cheese and honey mustard instead of mayo. One would think I was trying to eat healthy.
The wrap didnt taste like whole grain anything, it didnt taste like it was low fat, low carb high fiber good source of protein. It tasted DELICIOUS.
For dinner? Sweet and sour chicken with brown "fried" rice. Its actually sauteed. But its soo soo good.