Weigh in Day at Curves

UGH I've gone to Curves maybe three times this last month. Yes, I have been swimming a lot, but not really been riding my bike, or walking much. I haven't done a lot of activity this past month, not like I had been, but I know that I have still been doing some, which is good. Considering I have a mostly sedentary lifestyle, anything, anything at all is better than what I was doing.

That being said, I am so nervous. I know that I won't have lost any on the scale (I weigh myself every day) but I haven't touched my measuring tape. I am hoping to lose some inches, to at least feel better about myself and justify something. lol

sigh.

But to be honest with you all, I am okay with it, if I don't. I will be disappointed, yes. I know the reason is I am not pushing myself to exercise. And if you aren't willing to put in the effort, then you can't be upset with the results. End of story.

Its hard to *see* it for myself though. I mean, I have only lost 12.5 lbs since January. That's not even 2 lbs a month! but I have lost over 20 inches in that time frame. TWENTY inches. (Hopefully more today haha) Last month, I lost a combined 8 inches off of my body. That is a LOT. It is obviously showing, but I catch only glimpses, almost like its a mirage. Is it really there? No. Perhaps.

Its like having a sudden moment of clarity. Like driving through dense fog and suddenly realizing that your exit is coming up now, it sort of jerks you awake. Like OH that girl in the mirror? Yeah thats me.

I often wonder if my husband is really being honest with me when he says that I am looking so much better. I feel like I am a failure (ie no lbs lost) but he is never prompted to say those things. I never say, do you think I am looking slimmer.

He says it when I am loading the dishwasher (nice view from behind, I guess :P ) or when I am sitting on the sofa, legs crossed "Indian style" which I couldn't do for a while. Or when I stand up and stretch. Little things. Every day things that no one thinks about.

I have 8 hours until weigh in. But it seems I have already weighed in on the matter, lose or gain, it's still a journey. Nighty night all.