30 Day Shred Day 2

I took yesterday off from 30 Day Shred, as I was sore. I am glad that I did, in retrospect, even though I felt guilty.

I was still as sore as I was yesterday, today. But I turned on 30 Day Shred, level 1. I started out protesting a little, oooh that... that's a little hard to do. Ahhh, okay, okay...

But as it went on, it just got *harder* and *harder* to keep going. I was panting, sweating, shaking, aching, moaning, gasping. I wanted to quit so badly. I wanted to give in. I wanted to say, sorry I am too sore, I can't do this today. Tomorrow I will. I wanted to stop.

But then I said one little word, and it gave me all the resolve I needed to keep going.


DIABETES.

It was either do the work out, despite how bad I was hurting, or give in to the eventuality of medical complications and diseases.

I decided to push through it.

I grit my teeth. I swore. Every time even a hint of doubt came into my mind, a second of "let me just catch my breath" I chanted it. Diabetes! diabetes! I will not give in to it.

I am stronger than that. I will rise above.

I did every minute. I did the anterior lunges with arm raises. I did the squats and presses. I did the dumbbell rows. I did the jump rope, the jumping jacks (modified), the butt kicks, the cardio boxing. I did the crunches, reverse crunches, the oblique crunches and the bicycle crunches.

I did them all. I hated every minute of it.

My abs protested. My thighs were like rusty bolts, unyielding at first, but then started to loosen up.

I couldn't catch my breath.

When the last minute of abs came around (the bicycle crunches) I closed my eyes, grit my teeth and tried as hard as I could to KEEP GOING. As Jillian counted down the last 5, I silently prayed. It was almost over. "Three....Two.... ONE!"

I relaxed, inhaled deeply. It was over. I kept trying to breath. It was over, it was over, thank God it was over. It was over. I did it. It's over.

Then we had to stretch to cool down.

I got into position. I stretched out my calves and my arms. I started crying. I couldn't help it. I was simultaneously proud that I finished it and relieved. I did it. I cried for the moments I wanted to stop but I kept going. I cried because it helped relieve the pain. Then I wiped my sweat and tears away and finished my stretching, took a drink of some water, washed my face, and sat down in front of the fan.

I was a shaking wreck. My muscles refused to do anything. It was a chore to just lay there.

I took a nap and I have to say, I am no where near as sore as I was yesterday. My abs are the only thing killing me at the moment. I was going to go running today too, but between my prescriptions for my ear infection, I'm either laying on my side putting drops in my ear or drowsy waiting for the decongestant to kick in.

Day 2 complete. 28 more to go.

I already feel the changes. Let's hope I will be able to see them too.