I havent updated my weight loss tracker in a while. It's because I have been moving in the opposite direction. In two weeks I have GAINED 7 lbs.
SEVEN. Lucky number 7 it is not. Although I guess I am lucky that it was ONLY 7 lbs.
That put me back at 232.0 lbs. Only 5.5 from my highest weight, ever. I freaked out when I stepped on the scale Saturday and saw that number looking back at me. So I didn't eat half as much as I usually do. I started upping my fiber content to help stay fuller, longer. And I kept my hands busy crocheting. I drank lots of water. I slept. I walked.
And in two days, I've reduced the damage by almost half. I'm down 3 lbs today. 229.
Le sigh.
I am going the wrong direction here. I need to quit eating. Seriously. So the scale is being hidden. I am going to work out and I am going to eat a lot less than I am now. I need to focus on being busy instead of being hungry. I can do whatever I want in the world, I work from home. I should be in complete control but it's just the opposite. I'm completely out of control.
I like working out. I like moving. I like feeling great after and during. I know that I can do things now I had no idea if I could do them before or not. I know that I can run pretty damned fast. I know that I can make it through working out every day. I know that I can bike pretty damned fast too. I know I can bike 10 miles.
But what I was lacking was a follow through. I know I can do it so I stopped doing it. Then I began to doubt myself. Could I really lose the weight? Am I doomed to be a fatty mc fatterson for the rest of my life? Is my love affair with cheese over?!?!
No. I am not doomed. And I will always love cheese. Even if we have to take a break for a while.
So long, fatty mc fatterson pants. So long stomach flab. So long, self doubt.
Hello sexy me. Hello confidence. Hello world.
Hello world, my name is Christie. I am an eataholic. I like to eat. I think about food a lot. What I will have for dinner tonight, what I will buy at the store, when I can go out to eat. It's always food on my mind. Lately though I realized that this is all I do and it's got to stop. Food isn't what life is about.
Life is what life is about.
I'm going to work out again tonight. I feel like I can do anything in the world.
He took my last name when we got married. I took on the challenge of motherhood and losing the 80 lbs I gained
You CAN do anything in the world. And you will. Just stick to it and remind yourself of what you're after. PS - love the new background. Pretty watercolours!
ReplyDeleteRae
xo
hang in there kiddo you got hardest part down the exercise you can get the rest of way there
ReplyDeleteI like that you were honest and accountable with yourself and put it out there. You're focused now and you will move forward. You can do this...
ReplyDeleteThe exercise part is easy for me. It's the food that's so challenging and I too LOVE ME SOME CHEESE. I have no problem breaking a block of cheese off and eating it while walking around the house. I'm such a rat.
You'll get there. slow and steady wins the race.
paula