It's crazy how much money I spend on food. I've mentioned it before, but I'll say it again. There have been some months where we spent upwards of $500 on food (groceries/eating out) and the crazy part is? We don't have an extra $500 in our budgets. I wonder where we got all that money??? (or what wasn't getting paid.... ugh)
The worst part about money issues is I don't know what to do about it. I mean, other than work more, and sell shit. I can do all that. And of course there is getting a grip on your spending. But it's so hard to stick to a budget. Especially because budgeting feels a lot like dieting. What do you do when your diet isn't going so well? You eat. And that food costs money. So I am effectively failing at two things at once.
Fantastic.
Now I didn't start writing this post to bitch about money troubles or how I can't seem to stick to my allotted points in any given day. I just wanted to jot down (can one even jot when one is typing?) some of my feelings. I think I am "hungry" because I am subconsciously worrying about money. Now truth be told we aren't totally broke, we have more money than we usually do to last us until next pay day... but I still worry about everything. I'm awesome like that.
And I have been eating. And eating. And eating. Did you know I finished a 1/3 of a jar of peanut butter last night? It was delicious! Except it was a bazillion points that I don't really have. :(
I don't know what it is but when I realize I don't have meat in the house (aka ground turkey... I have a bag full of chicken in the freezer) I start to freak out that we wont be able to have "real" dinners. Like chicken isn't real or something. When we are out of ground meat, I am constantly thinking of SPAGHETTI. I want it so bad thats all I think of. Then I obsess on it.
What is going on? I almost said "what is wrong with me" but I don't really think I am defective or anything, just cannot seem to get over food. Why does everything have to taste so damn good?
Somedays I am not hungry at all. Somedays I am insatiable. I am not sure what it is. Hormones? Maybe. Stress? Probably. Lonely? Definitely. Though the dog does help. He always gives me these inquisitive looks when I talk to him. Brian doesn't really give me any looks lol but he is working 7 days this week and lots of overtime so he is pretty much knackered. I don't blame him. It will be nice when in two weeks he has 30 hours of overtime on top of his regular check. Then it will be all "weee! we have money again!"
I guess AT&T is having some special where you can get an iPhone 4 for $18 with a new contract, so I think we will be doing that and then selling off our old phones on eBay. That would be pretty awesome. Or I might you know, sell the new phone. Depends on which makes more on eBay lol :) Hey, spending $18 to get $200+ is always a good idea!
Okay I am done rambling now.
He took my last name when we got married. I took on the challenge of motherhood and losing the 80 lbs I gained
Hi hun, first of all I have to apologize that I never got back, after you gave me that lovely award! The reason being, I was in a very bad state and I just didn´t think I deserved it. I was exactly there, stuffing my face with everything in sight and realized that I would be the worst role model possible as a PT.
ReplyDeleteI so know the frustration that money (or the lack of it) brings. I try not to let it take over my thoughts and. Try not to think about the things you can´t do, but about the things you can. I always feel better after a day out, with a packed lunch and coffee in a flask, which doesn´t bring any extra costs.
Hope you´re feeling better soon.
XX