Stalkin' Your Mom

Ah Facebook, king of the social media stalking websites. Cracks me up that any one pretends otherwise.

Oh don't get me wrong, I totally use it for stalking like everyone else so I am not throwing stones at glass houses or whatever that saying is.

Anyway, a former friend from high school added me on Facebook like um yesterday? or was it today? The funny thing is, I have not talked to this person since graduation.

I knew it was basically one of two things: She just had a baby so she is trying to glean parenting advice or someone else who is going through the same things so she can vent/feel normal like any overwhelmed mom or she is stalking. Which is fine. Her husband and I dated for like a month way back in freshman year of high school, so maybe he's the one stalking me. I have no idea. I'm not really concerned either way. Just interesting that after 6 years (holy shit has it really been 6 years?!) that she is now adding me.

Maybe she found my YouTube videos and thinks I'm hilarious! I don't know. Which brings me to the next thing: I have been cracking up like crazy. I get lots of new subscribers and comments on my videos every day and lately I've been getting a lot of "haters". I laugh because each one of them says the same thing: "I hate your laugh!" Some even go as far as to say it's fucking annoying or that they are scared by it. This just makes me laugh. I don't bother replying (to them or anyone really- I think that's the key to popularity- ignore them!) but I do leave them up. Some people come to my defense. Some just say how they love my laugh. One asked me if I was single.

I get a kick out of the whole YouTube thing. I have three times as many subscribers on YT than I do as blog followers, and 3 times as many video views as I do blog views. Who knew I'd be more popular talking than writing, since I hate to talk to people I don't know and love to write about it instead? Irony, folks. Irony.

Drake is ...acting weird... for a baby. I guess he's still spurting his growths or some such because he is sleeping a lot and refusing bottles. But he is getting some to eat, maybe 20 or so ounces, so about 2/3 of what he normally gets. I am a little concerned, although I am trying to play it cool. He's still pooping regularly and wetting normally, so I don't think it's a bug. He's normal temp too. He's happy when he's awake as well, so I don't know. I'm going to chalk it up to growth spurt and just be thankful I get to pass out an hour earlier every night.

Diaper rash is back. Man... I feel like a terrible person. He has diaper rash on his little uhmmmm gonads and when I put cream on it, he wailed and wailed... guess it was a little sensitive. So I have been doing lots of wiping and drying of little baby bits today. It's starting to look better. I have wipes with aloe in them and lots of baby powder and Boudreaux's butt paste, so things are heading in the right direction. It breaks my heart to see him fuss and cry during a diaper change, normally he is so happy during them. I think I'll let him "air out" again and just put him on a towel (or two) and let him piss all over himself for shits and giggles. Also naked baby pics.

I've been tracking everything I have been putting in my face hole this week and so far so good. I'm definitely feeling the hunger, you know... the Oh-Em-Gee I am eating normal portions and my stomach is screaming for more food because I am not used to this shit hunger. I'm also having day dreams of killing my own game and cooking it in a log cabin because I am strange like that. Been watching too much Man Vs Wild. I may end up killing squirrels tomorrow with the blow gun. Because I am awesome. I might be joking. We'll see what kind of mood my dad is in.

Brian and I were talking about living off the land and foraging for our own food, shooting deer and rabbits and whatnot, living in a log cabin... we both are in love with the romanticism of it. Definitely would be the best diet since you know we'd probably slowly starve to death. Win!

Okay, enough rambling on now. I'm going to go play some sims or something.

Did You Almost Sleep?

My mom, grandma and I play a game with the baby now called "did you almost fall asleep?"

Drake, like all children, freaks out when he realizes he just about fell asleep (or did fall asleep) and then cries. We could freak out about this (WTF BABY GO TO BED) or we could relax and realize that yes, he will sleep again. This is my number one issue... how cranky he gets before falling asleep for the night!

Ever since my mom and grandma started teasing Drake about falling asleep and how horrible it was for him, it's made me laugh and that keeps me sane.

What I do now, (and had to do for 2 hours today) was hold Drake close to me and talk in a really low voice, patting his back, and carrying on a conversation.

Drake: WAILLLLL
Me: I know, you almost fell asleep, it was scary wasn't it?
Drake: WAILLLLL
Me: What a horrible mommy you have, she almost let you miss something important
Drake: WAILLL
Me: I promise you don't have to go to sleep, why don't you hang out here with me?
Drake: WAILL
Me: Yeah, me and you, we will just hang out and watch some TV together, does that sound nice?
Drake: GRUUUUUNT
Me: You want to watch TV with me hunny? You do? Okay, then cuddle close to me.
Drake: GRUNTTT
Me: No, no, we aren't going to sleep. We are just cuddling.
Drake: Grunt?
Me: Yeah, it's okay to put your head down.
Drake: Coo?
Me: Mm-hmm. I know, your mommy is so mean to let you fall asleep.
Drake: Hrm?
Me: Yeah, you just relax.
Drake: *falls asleep*

And various other commentaries.

The hour before bedtime is the absolute worst. He just screams and screams and throws his bottle and his toys and just will not stop crying! It makes me go bonkers... but then I remember that blissful sleep is only an hour away or so, so I stick it out then he falls asleep and I hit the bottle take a nap.

Luckily for us, once he is down he is out for the night (unless he explodes his diaper) and sometimes we even get to sleep in until 9 am!

He's been refusing his bottle a lot the last few days too. Man is that frustrating. I keep thinking of the Louis CK sketch (NSFW- strong language)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLhC6NSlDzY

I laugh so hard at this every time... because it's the truth. Ask any parent.

So that's the daily parental frustrations.

I sorted through some of his clothes and came up with a whole bag full that don't fit anymore. Crazy how much this kid has grown. I look at him and think, wow, I can't imagine him getting any bigger than he already is!

I tracked everything I put in my face today- including the regular Dr Pepper. Man that takes up a lot of points. It sucks. But at least I am tracking and trying really hard to keep myself accountable.

This is going to be a fun weekend. I found out Brian gets off work Saturday at 4 pm instead of 8 pm, and he has Sunday off for Easter and Monday off as his regular day off so we are going to have a lot of fun! I love spending time together as a family.

Brian's brother just came by and I am hiding in the bedroom, mostly because I am working, but I figured I'd let him have some alone time with his brother and let them hang out. Although I am pretty hungry...

Anyway, I'm outtie. Have a happy Easter all! I still gotta find somewhere that will let us take pictures with the Easter bunny dammit! I WANT MY MEMORIES

Lack of Updates

Anyone else notice the lack of updating on this blog or is it just me? It seems there are really not enough hours in the day lately.

But a lot did happen, so I'll catch you up.

-Saturday Drake and I went to my parent's house. They watched the baby while I worked.
-I went to the grocery store with both my mom and my grandma. Once to get my pills and once to do some actual grocery shopping (graciously paid for by my mom! YAY)
-I went to a second hand baby store twice on Saturday- Once with my grandma and once with my mom. The first time, I bought an automatic baby swing for $20, $10 of which my grandma gave me. It has 9 different speeds, 2 different music tunes, and it runs off of batteries, and has a 40 minute timer. It was a huge steal!! Drake loves it. Grandma also bought him a couple of outfits
-The second time I went to the store, it was 30 minutes later with my mother. She bought us another carseat ($55, retailed for $100) and some more clothes.
-We left Drake at my parent's house Saturday night and Brian and I enjoyed some alone time together. "alone time" meaning I beat Mass Effect 1 and started Mass Effect 2, and did another Let's Play of the Sims 3 for my YouTube channel, while Brian watched and made jokes. Nerrrrds.
-Sunday I was back at my parent's and Drake was in a state of hibernation. I really wish I was kidding, but I'm not. He slept ALL DAY LONG. As in, he didn't even really eat. Maybe 15 ounces all day, and that was on the high end. He normally eats 30+ a day.
-Brian picked us up at 1:00 AM when he got off work and we went home.

I highlighted my hair Monday. It's very blonde. I love it.
I did 3 loads of laundry tonight and 2 loads of dishes.
I got a check from Survey Savvy in the mail today for $40 woohoo! With that money, I can pay off 2 medical debts, hallelujah!
I have been tracking and trying not to stuff my face full of shit every day. So far, I convinced myself I did not need a milk shake from Steak n Shake, even though they are half price AND they have a brownie shake. I know, I feel like a winner. EPIC!

On the chopping block for the rest of the week:

-Sorting out baby clothes that no longer fit and taking them into the baby store for store credit.
-Doing laundry and getting it all put away
-Working all weekend!
-Going to the parent's again. This is a weekly thing now.
-Celebrating Easter! Brian
-Depositing all of our spare change and making more credit card payments! Hurray!
-Shaving my legs. I look like a very light haired lumberjack. No offense to lumberjacks. If I had the cajones I'd get my legs waxed but I'm officially the biggest wuss ever. I'm sure recovering from a c-section would be a cake walk compared to having all the hair ripped out of your body by a complete stranger. Even worse if it is yourself doing all the pulling. Eeek.

Mm, cake.

Also, somehow I got to come up with another $500 to build my savings back up. I'm thinking of pimping out Brian's plasma. I can't donate and he has the rare blood type, also he said he would do it anyway. I am ineligible to donate for 3 reasons 1) I have had a baby in the last year, 2) I have had a surgery in the last six months and 3) I have had a blood transfusion in the last year. I'm sure I could lie about it... but I'm honest. What can I say?

Anyway, off to finish a few more hours of work and then probably try and catch a little shut eye before the hatchling wakes up. He's been waking up awful early the last few days- 5 am! Normally we get to sleep in until 8 or 9. I know, spoiled we are. Pay back, it is.  Talking like Yoda, I am.