Well I didn't pass the second part of the exam. Luckily I was invited to re-take the exam this Thursday.
I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't sad. I'm actually really really bummed out about it.
I'd be lying if I said that wasn't what I (half) expected... it seemed a little too easy, and I sort of rushed it last minute since I was going out of town....
I'd be lying if I said I was confident I was going to pass this time. I know what I need to do. I need to read and study the guidelines (all 125 pages) and run the simulator until I get them all right. It will be tough work, but I really want this job.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't want it.
Because I do. I want this job so much. I feel like crying. I feel like sleeping, like hiding, like eating chocolate chip cookie dough... but I am not going to. I am going to take a Xanax, go to bed, have sweet dreams, and get up and deal with all of this tomorrow.
Thursday I get to take part 1 again. I know I passed part 1 the first time, but scores don't carry over, so I have to take it again.
I was explaining it to Brian. "It's like the test for your driver's license. Just because you fail it the first time doesn't mean you're a bad driver. It just meant that you were unprepared. You practiced and studied a little harder, and passed it the next time."
And that's true! Brian failed his twice, but he's never had an accident. Me on the other hand... well... I failed the written portion once (and lost my driving test waiver), then I failed the driving portion once... and then I had 3 accidents in a year... so... uhm... I really need to study. I may not be the best example for that analogy!
Anyway... I'm going to watch some Mythbusters and really try not to dwell on this anymore. I feel all funky and not myself at the moment.