Wednesday!

YAY A good day.

Went to curves, burned 388 calories (not bad for missing a week, eh?)
Also walked the dog with hubs.

Now going to my comic meeting.

So tired.


I journaled all day. I feel great.

See ya later peepsies

A Typical Day vs A Day on Plan

As you know I haven't been journaling for quite some time. I think this is why I am not losing weight. Just to see how many calories I consume on any given day, I logged what I ate, but I ate what I wanted and did not bother to count calories. I didnt eat myself stupid, or sick. Just what I normally eat.



Top left is how many calories I am allotted for the day, then it goes across as to how many calories are consumed, how many are burnt through exercise, net calories and whether or not you are under or over.

My resting metabolic rate said to maintain my weight, I'd have to consume 2397 calories. As you can see, I'm way over that, by 200 calories. Not to mention I am not monitoring salt, fat, or carb intakes.

While I felt a twinge of guilt logging it all and eating it too, I knew I had to to get my head back in the game.

Yesterday and today I ate much better and while I ate out yesterday on a date, I didn't have any nutritional information available, so it was not a good example. But today was.



Note that I stayed under my allotted budget of calories AND I exercised, bringing my net calories down to just over 400.

Also note my choices, while not perfect, but lots better. You will also see I didn't eat breakfast, which is normally the case when one wakes up past noon. Lunch is breakfast.

I "saved" most of my calories for a chicken grilled sandwich and a frosty from wendys for dinner. I also ate dinner after 9 and didnt end up pigging out on any snacks.

After Wendy's we went to Walmart and I got a notebook with a cute looking puppy dog on it (a lab) and some gel pens in different colors and some star stickers.

I wanted to start a feelings journal... or diary for those of you who wish to call it that. I am going to write down everything. My feelings. My cravings. My accomplishments. My goals. My failures. Everything.

I will do daily goals and as I accomplish them I will put a sticker next to them to show myself that I CAN do anything that I put my mind to. I just have to have faith in myself and believe that it will happen.

Now it is 4 am and I need sleepies. I have to go to Curves, after all. I will have some yogurt for breakfast. Mmmm

Just looking for an excuse

I have mentioned before that I am a quitter. I haven't ever really finished anything that I have put my mind to. I am a procrastinator. But most of all, like everyone else, I want instant gratification.

This leads me to the blog title. Just looking for an excuse. Sometimes I am literally just looking for an excuse, a reason, justification for eating a whole jar of frosting. I am wanting to find the *reason* it would be *ok* to do "just this once".

Smart readers will note I just gave an excuse: "Just this once" hoo boy.

But I am not going to eat ice cream, or frosting, or anything like that. In fact I'm not even hungry, really. I just ate dinner. Corned beef hash. It was good.

Why am I suddenly feeling like I want to stuff my face full of frosting? Well, blame Sheryl there. She tweeted she wanted to eat a jar of frosting, but the feeling will pass and for a few moments, I was like "hey that is a really good idea! Maybe I'll get dressed and go to the store to do that!"

Then I realized I would have to get dressed. So there went that plan.

And then I moved on to something else. I wasn't feeling like I needed it anymore. I felt the twinge again when I went back to twitter and saw the tweet, but it passed. Just like her tweet said it would.

I think I will probably always be a procrastinator. I think I will always want the easy way out because who doesn't? I think I will always hope that there will be some sort of magic pill, or diet, or blah to make it all click. But I know there isn't. And I know I am not seeing what I really want-- instant gratification in the form of pounds lost-- But today, I journaled every bite I took.

Today I ate fruit.
Today I am not putting off my health and fitness.
Today I am strong.
Today I am lazy enough not to give into passing desires.

Now if you will excuse me, I have a victory dance to do.

Aquacise (Week 4)

Urgh

Firstly, our regular instructor wasnt there. Secondly while the sub worked us out extra hard today, I still was not pleased.

Our regular lady is a thin, toned woman.

Our sub was a beachball with skinny legs. Im not exaggerating.

She would say encouraging things like "If I'm going to be fat, I'll be the fittest fat person I can be"

And I was in a bit of a sour mood. Couldn't WAIT for it to get over.

But I did honestly try my hardest. I also am very sore. I am proud of myself for going when my regular instructor was gone, and I am proud that I stayed (I dont know why I'm proud of that I dont ever normally leave a situation I am not loving, for instance horrible horrible movies, but thats not to say I didnt *think* about leaving. A lot, like the whole hour)

I came home, ate lunch (my first meal of the day, actually) and went to bed. I had a chicken, muenster, and mayo wrap on my garden veggie tortilla (285 calories). Yeah, they arent going to last long.

Four more weeks of aquacise. Going to Curves tomorrow. Look, I will make it one of my

DAILY GOALS
1. Go to Curves
2. Journal
3. Take my multivitamin.

Daily rewards:

1. Buy some nail polish and toe separators and give myself a little polish.
2. Buy a notebook so I can start writing down my feelings, my cravings, and my thoughts. I believe this will help. Also it will be full of doodles.
3. Allow myself to get something at the comic meeting and not feel guilty about it. I will eat right all day long.

Normal Day

Today was a normal day.

Here are the highlights

* I didn't sob uncontrollably at every little thing (win)
* I couldn't sleep until 7 and got up at 10:30 (fail)
* I made an omelette with waaaay too many green onions and it tasted like barf (fail)
* I made a smoothie instead and it was awesome (win)
* I had a chicken wrap for lunch (win)
* I had only ONE diet soda today. (win)
* I took my mom's dog out for a walk and we went two whole blocks (twice as far as he usually gets to go lol) (win)
* I went swimming for 2 hours today instead of my usual 1.
* We went out to a local Mexican-American restaurant and I ordered burritos ultimo and it was two shredded beef burritos in a cheese sauce with rice, beans and cheese. I ate one burrito and about 1/3 of the other, half my rice, and one bite of beans. That was at 5:30. It's 2 am here and I am still full. Boo on eating out, yay on still feeling FULL (which never happens) so (win!)
* I took a nap from 7:30 to 12:30 (major win)

There a day full of small successes. No more bitching and moaning from me. No siree.

WTH Christie?!

Ok this morning, couldnt sleep. Blogged. Blogged about math. Holy schnikies dont do that anymore Christie. You confused people. You babbled. You sound like a drunken fool.

Disclaimer: No I wasnt drunk. I should have been though, by reading that post again. Yikes.

Let me sum up for you what happened.

Hubby and I went to store. Then I got a bright idea, hey lets run to the ATM after hours and deposit your birthday cash. Okay he says, and off we go. We do this 2-4 times a week, after hours. We aren't people persons. Or really bank persons.

So the nifty little atm lets you deposit cash with out an envelope. Usually we have a few fistfuls of ones and deposit that. This time, well this time we had bigger bills. And a bigger amount.

The machine takes the money tra-la-la-la- CRUNCH

Him:Crunch?
Did you hear that?

Me: No... what happened? *playing on phone because this is taking longer than a minute*
Him: It made a weird sound.
Me: Did it? *oblivious*
Him: Watch it ate our money *snarky*
ATM: I'm sorry we are unable to complete your transaction have a nice day.
Us: WTF?! *insert incoherent sputtering and cursing here*

It actually ATE our money. So I call the branch associated with that ATM. They dont have a voicemail (SERIOUSLY?) and then I look online and can't talk to a live representative because its after hours.
This would be ok if we were depositing checks because they have our name at least on them. But this was CASH

Cold hard, once a year birthday CASH.

Cash enough to pay a few bills, cash. Cash enough to seriously FRET if it didnt go through cash.

So hubby is upset (understandably so) and feels it was his fault somehow, also it was his cash. It was my idea, my fault, and his cash.

SO I get to play hero. Hey it will all be okay let me take care of it I am amazing, super woman in disguise hero moment.

I called said bank. I googled. I looked online at the bank website. I did everything in my power at 10:15 pm that I could possibly do. And then I said I'll call them first thing when they open.

Everyone was happy. We laughed, we giggled, we put the groceries away. We played racing games on the PlayStation 3. Hubby was over it. I was the hero. I never play the hero. I'm the panicky, anxious mess. But I didnt do that this time.

No I was crystal clear. There were none of the usual thoughts. It was beyond my control at that point in time and instead of getting sick to my stomach as per usual, I handled everything calmly. I didnt even really get upset. I didn't curse (much). I didn't scream. I didn't sob.

Until I tried to go to bed at midnight. Hubby came to give me hugs and kisses and asked if I wanted him to cuddle me until I fell asleep. I said no but really meant yes. He took it at face value and went into the living room (which I dont blame him for)

Then I hugged his pillow and cried and sobbed and snuffled and boo hoo'ed. He heard me and came in asking what was wrong. I didn't want you to go! <--Reason I started crying. I'm so frustrated at the ATM <--Real reason. I don't like being the hero! I dont like being the strong one boo hoo hoo <--And there we have it all, the whole story.

At that moment I realized I was feeling some really silly, really real emotions. After blowing my nose several times and snuffling more than Snufflufflegus, I calmed down. But I couldn't sleep.

I knew it would all get sorted. I KNEW it would. What bank steals money from you and doesnt give it back? What bank knows their ATM can be faulty at times and isnt prepared to take action? The money was physically THERE. It wasnt going anywhere. I knew all of this. Logically, I accepted it.

Emotionally, well... I am going to blame my depression on that one. Its getting better (Sure you say... after you cried like a ninny all night long) but it really IS getting better. It will take some time for it to completely go away, probably a few weeks.

Two days ago I wanted nothing more than to hold my fat cat and cry all day long. Yesterday I broke down after a stressful incident hours after it happened and I dealt with it calmly. Thats progress.

I have been living with it a while I think, especially since my doctor was having me skip my monthly time to try and regulate it. So I was erm backed up emotionally/hormonally. And now the flood gates have opened.

In other news, the National Weather Service has issued a severe flood warning for the area surrounding my bedroom. Husbands take shelter immediately and use boxes of Kleenex's to stem the flow.


I finally took a Xanax and fell asleep at 7 this morning. I woke up at 10:30 when hubby called to let me know he contacted the bank and they gave us our money back. I called the doctor for a refill of my Xanax (I'm out.) I am wanting to go back to sleep.

But I needed to get this off of my chest.

Also, I am eating much better today. I made an omelette at 6 am of egg beaters, cheese, garlic, green onion, pepper and spinach. It tasted like FAILURE as I put WAY too much cheese and green onion in. I had a bite and could barely swallow it. Then I made a smoothie with soy yogurt (which looks disgusting but is delicious) blueberries, raspberries, and chocolate protein powder, splash of milk. I had about 2/3 of that and couldnt finish it. The seeds in the raspberries aggravated me. Other than that it was the smoothest, creamiest smoothie EVER.

For lunch I had a chicken wrap. The wrap is low carb, 94% fat free, and is made of soy flour and oat fiber. It is also seasoned, so it smells delicious. Garden Vegetable. Mmmmmm. Drooling. 8g fiber, 12g total carbs, 7g protein (from the soy, naturally) Then I put sliced chicken on there with provolone cheese and honey mustard instead of mayo. One would think I was trying to eat healthy.

The wrap didnt taste like whole grain anything, it didnt taste like it was low fat, low carb high fiber good source of protein. It tasted DELICIOUS.

For dinner? Sweet and sour chicken with brown "fried" rice. Its actually sauteed. But its soo soo good.

The Math

I can't sleep. I'm laying in bed on my iPhone and blogging. Weird. Anyway I can't sleep so I am doing a little math.

In the Lose it! App my weight loss program is to lose 2 lbs a week until I get down to 199. My calorie budget is 1597.
I subtracted that from what I normally eat (2400) and I would be left with a total of 1400 calories I have to burn through exercise. That's 200 measly calories a day, folks!! I do an average of 2500-3500 in exercise and I am GAINing

I am eating my hard work. That is discouraging to think about. Bummeeeer.

I went to the store and I mow have lots of healthy goodies to eat. I can't wait to try my omelette for breakfast. I am also going to curves today too for the first time in god only knows how long.

I hope to go swimming today too.

I read on facebook that Jillian michaels has the women on her progr eating 1200 cals a day and burning 3500. Holy crap!! No wonder they lose 40 lbs in 6 weeks they are starving.

How did I do on typos? I'll check later.

Yay for iPhone bloggyness.

Grocery Shopping

I have a food problem. I'll readily admit this to anyone. I love to eat. I love to eat a lot. And I love my carbs. I dont like my fruits, but I am learning to love my veggies. I love spinach, green peppers, onions. I like tomatoes, diced small enough. I like carrots, peas, etc. I am getting to the point where veggies sound good.

Fruits... Not so much. I still have problems getting in all my servings a day, let alone per week.

I eat lots of protein. And carbs. Did I mention carbs?

Unfortunately, this isn't good. I need to rein in my portions and *what* I eat. I am thinking of buying things to make smoothies/fruit popsicles. I had a smoothie on Father's Day. A friend's mom made them for us and they were delicious. I'll have to ask her what she put in them, I know there were blueberries in there.

I also need more protein and fiber in my diet. I need to feel fuller, longer. I need to do that whole 5 small meals a day crap that actually works.

I need to cut back my 100000000g's of carbs a day.

So all of this has prompted me to think about going to the grocery store today. Firstly, my pantry and fridge are ill equipped to handle this challenge. Not a single fruit or veggie in my drawers, not any lean meats (save frozen chicken). No whole grain pastas or breads. No low carb tortillas.

Lots of spaghettios though. And those have a whole serving of veggies! wooooot

I thought of a sample menu for tomorrow and I love the idea of it.

Breakfast: 1/4 c. Egg Beaters, spinach, turkey bacon, cheese. Omelette. MM

Snack: Fruit smoothie, made with frozen berries and plain yogurt. Blended to a delicious pulp in my magic bullet.

Lunch: Low-carb chicken wrap. Filled with chicken strips, spinach, green bell pepper strips and honey mustard with cheese.

Snack: Chocolate crunch rice cakes (2)

Dinner: Homemade sweet and sour chicken, with carrots, onions, green pepper, egg beaters, whole grain rice.

Sounds pretty darn good to me! I am hoping to hit the store sometime tonight after hubby gets home. Now I need to plan out other meals.

I am also going to start taking my multi vitamins again and getting back on track exercisey wisey. I have been exercising a lot, but also eating a lot. I am sabotaging myself. I need to STOP and THINK before I ACT and EAT.

Who has two thumbs and can pull this off?

THIS GIRL!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Christie

Woah. I feel like a totally different person today.

Back to normal, even. I was so upset and blah yesterday and I think I got it out of my system. I did it healthy too! I'm lying.

Heres my get better quick method, you can try it at home too!

1) Sob uncontrollably when hubby does something sweet for you like open your soda.
2) Freak poor hubby out that you are crying over said soda so he does a load of dishes for you
3) Sob uncontrollably at how sweet he is being and reassure him that they are happy tears and you dont know what is going on at the moment. Im sure its just PMS
4) Talk to your mom and she will look up your birth control and find out that it causes severe depression during and after you have stopped taking it. Tells you everything will be okay, you aren't a nut.
5) Sob quietly to yourself and thank whoever it is you pray to in moments like these that you aren't going nuts.
6) Take a Xanax.
7) 15 minutes later the Xanax hits your system and you are calm and relaxed. Now you are sleepy, happy, and giggly.
8) Tell hubby the good news. It was only your medication messing with you and you will be better in a few days, especially since your new meds dont cause depression. YAY
9) Complain that you are hungry. Mention mexican food. As hubby doesnt want to go get it, pretend that you are interested in pizza.
10) Eat a half order of cheese sticks and half of a cheese pizza, as well as 4 cupcakes, 2 pieces of cake, 2 scoops of ice cream, a cheeseburger and some french fries throughout the day.
11) Go to bed and complain you shouldn't have had that last cupcake
12) Sleep well.

There you have it, a 12 step program to feeling better! Although you should use this method sparingly, and it is not advised to do this every day. I was still full when I woke up so I havent had anything to eat yet. Yay!

I am also prepared to meet the consequences of the scale too. I am surprised I didnt eat more, actually. I did so well up until the pizza and cheese sticks. BTW a half order of cheese sticks is 10....and full of calories. I ate more than 2x my daily allowance, I'm sure.

Today is maintenance, getting my life and my head back under control. I dont regret yesterday, as there is nothing I can do about it, but I can take control of today.

Feeling Blue

I couldnt figure out why I was feeling so blue lately.


Turns out, the method of birth control I was using was causing depression. Its been happening to a lot of women lately and I am feeling the effects. I switched to a different one and we are already seeing improvements.

Although I am still really depressed today and extremely boohooy, I know now that I am not crazy, and that I will be better soon.

Sorry to my friends and family who have had to put up with me lately, I'll be better soon. :)

I took a Xanax to help combat my blues today and I can already tell its made a difference. Im no longer crying over every little thing but I am now tired. I am going to allow myself to wallow in my emotions as I know that if I try and hold them back I will end up snappish and cry uncontrollably.

Being a woman is GREAT.

I highly recommend looking at your medications to see if they are affecting your moods. lol its worth it

Accomplished!

Yes I rode my bike. For exactly one mile.

I also got dressed and did my hair and make up too.

I then went to the bank by myself (which I never do)
I also went to the grocery store, picked up my prescription, and did some shopping, ALONE, again something I rarely do.

**Edit: I totally forgot to mention this, and it was the entire point of this blog**

While I was at Wal-Mart and walking around, I was looking for those $3 tank tops that Vegan Ana had found, and couldnt find any. But I did find a mirror. A mirror. And I usually ignore mirrors. They are evil and show just how fatty mc fattersons i really am.

But I got caught. Stared at myself. And I noticed that I was not the same me that I used to be. Sure this me is only 10.5 lbs lighter. This me has also lost 20 inches off her body. And this me is showing it. I wasnt really aware of how *different* I actually look. Hubby says I look great everyday, and always with a note of surprise and pride, but I never believed him. Its what hubbies do.

But mirrors. Oh god mirrors are awful. Either they lie to you and say you look fantastic in that tube top or they tell the truth, and nothing but the whole embarrassing-wtf-is-that-thing-staring-back-at-me-oh-my-god-its-my-gut truth.

I noticed that I am much more toned. Slimmer, perhaps. I am now a size 16/18 instead of an 18/20 and I am enjoying my new endurance. I know for a fact that my eating is way out of control and I am going to rein that in. This week I am placating an extra demon, you know the one that visits once a month? Its helping me not to scream and shout horrible things. So we will try next week.

I am fighting the urge to take a nap. I have a lot left to do today and I am struggling to stay awake.

Hubby decided he wanted chicken parmesan for dinner tonight so I got the fixin's I needed for that. His favourite dessert is Boston Creme Pie and last year, I had made cupcakes (that kind of flopped) but I asked him if he wanted a cake this year and he asked for the cupcakes!

YAY I am so happy! I love it when he likes my meals lol

Ok I only have 25 minutes left before I have to get some work done, so I am going to start my cuppin'cakes.

The Monster Within

My mom wrote about this subject over here.

This week.. is that week. Hooo boy, yes it is.


Tuesday was aquacise and I couldnt figure out why I was so unmotivated, depressed, and I didnt want to go. I just wanted to get it DONE with.

I even yelled at my gramma to go home BYE (sorry Gramma...)

Then I went home and ate. Then ate. And ate some more.

Wednesday... My mom with her graceful ways asks if I have been working too much and I say, snarky, no not at all, I wish I could.

Few moments later... Why? Am I sounding mean?

Yes... Yes you are just a little bit.

Hmm.. I will try better. I just cant get out of this funk.

Thursday......

I just wanted to curl up and die. Or sleep a lot. I could not get over how depressed I was. For no reason. I was boo hoo ish and wanted to cuddle hubby all day long, but I didnt want him to touch me. Or talk to me. So I ignored that for the most part.

When I went to bed early (midnight) the thought of going to bed ALONE made me so sad, I almost broke down in tears. So I slept on the couch, next to hubby. Sure he would have gone to bed with me if I had asked. But I couldn't. I had lumpy-throat-on-the-verge-of-tears syndrome.

Today

Today is going well so far. I slept til 12.30pm and have only been up for 20 minutes. I have not yelled at anyone or anything. I woke up alone (like usual, hubby's at work) and I didnt break down and cry. Though I did hug his pillow tight and smell it... Then fell asleep.

Today is his birthday. I want to make him something special for dinner because he's worth it!

Also I am going to try to be semi-human at the very least today. Maybe take a Xanax. I guess I really do need them.

No I didnt ride my 6.2 miles yesterday. I didnt even look at my bike and it sits in my living room. Wave to it! Hi bike! I see you look a little dusty! Maybe my butt will wipe it off today!
Yes I did a load of laundry. One. Still counts, right?


Todays goals:

Get dressed. Do hair, makeup the works.
Ride a freaking mile.

They seem a little far fetched as I am reading them now and they are daunting. But thats okay.

Heavy Storms

Last night was dinner with the comic guys. I ate "Idaho nachos" which are waffle cut fries with cheese, bacon, sour cream, tomatoes and green onions. At least it had tomatoes, right? They were delicious...

It was a huge huge huge plate, and I ate about... half. LOL

We had huge heavy storms in the area, complete with tornado warnings, heavy rains, lightning, thunder, hail and straight line winds exceeding 70 mph.

We left once the storm had passed, and on the way home it was like driving through a ghost town, hardly anyone had power and there were several felled trees. We had electricity but our internet/cable was out for several hours. Thankfully that was it.


This morning we had the maintenance guy come by and check on our central air as it never seems to get cool in here and has trouble maintaining a constant temp, no matter what it is outside. And also I think our neighbors below us have their heat on, because it will be 65 degrees out at night, and we turn off our air and its 80 in here... hmm.... But its warm in the winter! and we hardly had to turn on our heat, so you win some, you lose some.

Today's goals are

*Ride my bike for 6.2 miles and try to finish faster than my first time, 34 minutes and 36 seconds. But no matter WHAT my time is, I am doing 6.2 miles.
*Do some laundry

Today's rewards are

*Nap!
*Paint my nails

Tomorrow's plans:

CURVES!! Its been forever.

Sore Calves

Despite stretching multiple times yesterday AND getting a massage from my lovely live in masseuse, I still am very sore today. It hurts to walk. My calves are aching like crazy.

Other than that though, I feel great. I have some soreness in my chest, along my collar bones and shoulders from doing some of the dumbbell work but over all its good. I also have a little bit of soreness in my abs. Woot.

I didnt go to Curves today, I havent slept very well lately and I needed to get some work done for this comic book thing. It takes up a lot of my spare time but I think its good for me. I dont have a lot of time to sit around and be lonely, or think about how bored I am. Maybe being busy will help with the eating? Who knows.

Right now I am sitting on the couch, in my usual spot, with the recliner up, and an ice pack under my calves. Its very cold. I am only icing it for about 15 minutes and see if that will help any.

I still have a lot to do today, I have to take a shower, go to the bank, and get ready for the comic meeting tonight. Its a lot of work to get this thing running and off the ground but I am also out of practice coloring. I know that its a lot of work for hubby too and we have both been working like crazy. We havent even started a story yet. We are still working on the characters.

It sucks because this comic was almost done. Had a handful of pages left to do, then the artist bailed, for reasons unbeknown to us. Now hubby has to redraw the entire thing, and I have to color it. But the boss wants to recreate the characters because he never did like how they looked, and thats okay. I dont mind.

Its just I am so out of practice its taken a while to get my groove back but I think that I will be able to get it all sorted.


Its been storming off and on here like crazy, can't ever tell what the weather is supposed to be like and its also incredibly hot and humid. Even when its raining, we dont get any relief. The humidity is hovering around 75-90 per cent, and the temp hasnt fallen under 70 in a few days.

Is this 15 minutes up yet? Goodness. I find it really hard to block out cold sensations and I have noticed that I am more likely to get cold than I used to be. Its 78 degrees in our apartment and I sleep with two comforters on and am still cold.

I thought I was sick but nope, regular temp, and I am fine. So I must have less fat to keep me warm. Less blubber.

OOh there goes my timer. Wow my leg is cold. Gonna stretch it out again and hope to feel better.

Its gonna be a long night for me, and hopefully Ill be able to get some quality sleep in soon.

Aquacise (Week 3- results)

Welllllllll lets just say that eating a big breakfast before hand probably wasnt the best idea.

But it was a good idea because we did a lot of jumping and jumping... did I mention jumping? so there was lots of calories being shed.

We started out running back and forth from wall to wall doing some warm ups then we did some jumping jacks then we did modified jumping jacks then we did frog hops back to jumping jacks then back to frog hops.... For half an hour.

My calves started hurting, and the right one was very tense. I actually had to stop and stretch it out a bit. I didnt mind slowing down because a lot of the people there had to. She really put us through the paces today. (Might have had to do with the fact she was really late, almost 20 minutes)

Then in the last 10 minutes we did dumb-bell work to work our upper body and shoulders, then we got on our noodles and did these weird bicycle kicks, where you lay almost side ways in the water and do a bicycling motion. It spins you around and I had difficulty doing it on the one side. I also still have water in my ears from that haha

Class ran over a bit, so we could get our stretching in after, but it wasnt a big deal. I dont have anything to do except sleep when I get done! And I slept GREAT! I fell asleep and drooled and snored, and woke myself up from it.

So far I have had 1400 calories and I have burned approximately 350 during aquacise. (Based on information I found online, I really have no idea)
Maybe more. We did way more running and jumping than usual.

One woman, who is probably closest to my age, had on weights on her legs and I could tell that even she was having a hard time today, but I could keep up with her so I felt very good... Then I realized she was going slower because she had the weights! Ah well.

I am still liking the class a lot. The worst part is getting out of the very warm water and being cold. Then changing. I think I like my pool better, as I can get out and enjoy the sun and dry off that way hehe

5 more weeks of class. Tomorrow, I am definitely going to Curves, I havent been since last Wednesday and I am sure to get some grief going in, and that will be from my muscles... because it will be a tough work out!

One thing I have noticed an improvement on is my shoulder. My right shoulder usually hurts, and I think its a combination of working so much on the computer and sleeping on my side, and all my dead weight. But it hurts less now. Doesnt ache as much. Today it doesnt even hurt.

I am enjoying all the Non Scale Victories lately, but can I please have a Scale Victory? Am I being greedy?

Aquacise (Week 3)

Getting ready to head to Aquacise today! Last week my calves hurt for a few days and so did my arms. Somethings got to be happening.

I am determined to get back to losing weight. I am still losing inches but gaining weight, and no, it isn't muscle.

Not when you havent worked out for a few days.... eh heh.

I have been journaling every bite that has gone into my mouth and I have been under calories every day. I am hoping that I see some sort of movement on the scale in the positive downward direction.

I will be back with results later!

Keeping Up With Grampa

We went out of town to go visit hubby's grandparents and some other relatives. At one point, Grampa asked if anyone wanted to join him on a walk with the dog, Ruby (a greyhound)

I volunteered both hubby and I. I thought this would be lots of fun and a good break from just sitting around.

Let me tell you a little about Grampa. He is very quiet, reserved, a nice man, and looks a lot like Abraham Lincoln (no joke!) he is also 6'6.

Hubby is 6'

I am 5'5.

Grampa has a foot on me.

We go for this walk and it all starts out well just a little stroll very nice.

All of a sudden both of us are lagging behind Grampa and Ruby.
I pick up the pace and am now fast walking, almost jogging, and hubby is having a hard time keeping up too.

We go for this walk which ends up being about 2 miles long and takes 10 minutes. TEN MINUTES. I tracked it in my Jillian Michaels app. It also says I burned 787 calories but I dont think thats true haha.

Grampa never broke a sweat. He has such long legs that his strides were equal to about 3 of my short stubby ones.

Afterward everyone asked how we enjoyed our walk and we were exhausted and couldnt believe how fit he was it was hard to keep up and Grampa couldnt help smiling.


He is 87 years old. He had us two whippersnappers beat haha

10k- A new record.

Does it count as a new record if its the only one? I suppose it would.

Anyway, did some interval training on my bike today and decided that I would do 6.2 miles, no matter how long it took, if it killed me, etc. I finished at 34 minutes and 36 seconds, and I burned 549 calories.

Its the first time that I have actively set my goal to 6.2 miles, though I have gone further than that in one session, but I figured "small goals" and wouldnt push myself too far until I got discouraged. Manageable goals.

I am going to keep working on getting my time faster. I think 34 minutes isnt a bad first time, thats under 6 minutes a mile (barely) and seems to be about my average speed and time. I'd like to shave maybe 5 minutes off of the time before I move up to 9.5 miles, which is my next milestone.

I also did level 2 of 30 Day Shred and died. Its a LOT harder. I tried to do the Firm WAVE like my friend did, she let me borrow it and I couldnt do it. I am about as coordinated as a drunken moose and I got lost and frustrated very quickly. I might have to try it again though before passing final judgment on it.

Goals for the day:
Dont go over calories [days not over... but on plan so far]
Exercise 500 calories [549, check!]

Reward for the day:
Paint my nails. Pink for the fingers and red for the toes. Sexy.

Fathers Day

Thats tomorrow, for all of you who are procrastinating.

We are going up to visit hubby's side of the family, most of whom I havent seen since we got married a little over a year ago. Now a year ago, I weighed 237.5 lbs.

I weigh 226.2 now. Thats 11.3 lbs in 60 weeks. Wow?

But thats okay because since January I have lost 20" off of my body.

I think they will notice. Maybe. If they don't thats okay.


I am going to watch what I eat today and then exercise when I can. Yep, even on the weekend. Even when its stupid hot today. (92 degrees forecasted)

NSV Celebrations

I am going to talk about some non scale victories I had this week.

*I wore white shorts. And I look hot in them.
*I am more flexible, and I didn't even know it! I was sitting on the couch and I had my right leg tucked under my bum, my left leg thrown over my right thigh and stretched out. I was goofing around my iPhone and didn't realize until hubby had pointed out that I couldnt do that before, and he was right! I couldnt do that a month ago!
*Since January, I have lost over 20" off of my body
*While I still have big hips, I definitely have a tighter bum. Its strange because I still have "love handles" but my arse is really tight. Like, you could bounce quarters off of it.
*Activities with my husband behind closed doors are both more frequent (YAY) and more satisfying (YAY)
*I can go upstairs to our apartment without dying and being out of breath. Once I even ran upstairs and didnt realize how easy it was until I had come in the apartment. Haha.
*I notice food tastes so so much better. I eat more veggies (not so good on the fruit) but I noticed that everything is more flavorful and I enjoy adding in veggies. Weird.

*Probably the most important, I'm up to 50 followers on my blog! YAY thanks guys! You are the best!

*This is post number 300!

Noodles!

Hubby and I bought noodles for our pool at the complex, and we tried them out for the first time today. He thought it was a little silly I wanted to use a noodle but I convinced him to bring them anyway and we should have fun and not care what anyone else thinks.

Now, I float really really well. Even in deep water, I bob to the surface quite easily I think its because I have such a high body fat percentage, and fat floats. True story. Hubby, on the other hand, who doesnt have any fat at all, sinks. He is bummed out he cant float as well as I can. Even with the noodle, he still sank. I was fine. I gave him both noodles and I just tread water. He finally floated hehe.

I sat with the noodle between my legs and would kick with my legs and use my arms to pull myself from one end of the pool to the other and did this about a dozen or so times. Our pool is L shaped so I did it in the deep end, where the bottom of the L would be and its about 10 ft across, and 9ft deep. Then I swam a few laps on my own. I have awesome goggles too, that allow me to swim and keep my contacts in so I can see. Hubby is jealous. We will buy him some as well.

After an hour we got out and dried off enjoying the sun, then we went inside. I cleaned the kitchen and rode Stella for 10 minutes to do a bit of interval training. I have burned a total of 689 calories so far today. I have consumed 950, Im net 260 for the day.

Swimming makes me so tired, I could sleep all day long. I have been really good this week in not taking a nap mid day but today its a struggle to keep my eyes open.

Aquacise (Week 2) and Heartburn?

It was aquacise today, week 2. I have to say I am feeling it now as I type. My buns hurt.

I almost didn't go today. I had trouble sleeping last night because I had--what I guess to be---heartburn. It feels like a pressure under my ribcage that doesn't go away when I try to relieve myself through burping or ...the other way. It hurts. I have trouble breathing. I break out in a cold cold sweat, I get nauseous. If I catch it at the beginning of it starting, an antacid or heartburn pill like Zantec takes care of it. I took two of them last night and got no relief.

I got up this morning and ended up spending a lot of time in the bathroom, sick to my stomach. The pain wasnt going away. I wasn't sure what it was. The gorge kept rising in my throat. I didn't even over eat yesterday, I was about 500 calories under budget for the day. I ended up getting physically ill and finally felt better. The pain went away.

I am not even sure that it was heart burn. I have no idea what it is. I try not to eat two hours before going to bed. I try not to eat anything spicy as well, or a lot of garlic. I think it was my veggie soup as it was very filling and I didnt eat much, but thats all I ate. I didnt eat any fast food. I thought about going in to my doctor, but its so infrequent that I think its hard to explain to him and I just know he will want to do tests and bloodwork (he's really really really fond of that... every time I go in to get a refill for my anxiety medicine he "suggests" that I should get tested for a low thyroid)

Anyway, I felt better after uhmmm being sick and decided to go to aquacise anyway. I wasnt hungry until about 3pm and I had been up since 7. After, I met my uncles gf for lunch at Subway, where I had a chicken, bacon, ranch sandwich on wheat with spinach, baked Lays chips and a bottled water. It. was. so. so. soooooo. good.

I am feeling very tired now, as I didnt get any sleep then aquacise. I might go take a small nap.

See ya tomorrow x

Curves Day and Weigh in & Measurements

Today, being the 14th and a Monday, it was a Curves day and also a weigh in and measurement day at Curves.

I was nervous about weighing in but determined to just get it over with.
I step on the scale and she says "Well its moving.... in the wrong direction" meep

I had gained a pound. A pound! In a month! Of working out almost every single day and I gain a pound!!!!!

Then we went on to measurements.

"You've lost some" is what she said and then I looked at the sheet.

I lost more than "some" I lost 7.5 inches off my body in a month.

Bust: was 45.5 now 45 -.5 inch
Waist: was 40 now 37.5 -2.5 inches
Abdomen: was 49 now 47 -2 inches
Hips: No change at 49
Thigh: was 30 now 29.5 -.5 inch
Calf: was 17 now 16 -1 inch
Arm: was 14 now 13 -1 inch

Since I coerced convinced my mom to join, and switched to my current facility, I have lost 11" off my body, and even more since I joined in January, though I never got an exact number.

My body fat % also went down from 42.1% to 42.0%

Although I "gained" a lb, Im not concerned. I lost so much more. And gained some confidence too. I burned 311 calories.

WOOO HOOOO

TODAY I RODE MY BIKE FOR 4.5 MILES AND OFFICIALLY BEAT YESTERDAY'S TIME BY 3 MINUTES AND 51 SECONDS!!

4.5 MILES IN 24'51" MINUTES!!

I did it "interval" style. If you watched Losing it with Jillian, this woman wanted to run a 5k and Jillian brought her co-workers out to help her train. The guy said that they would train in intervals, running for 60 seconds and then taking a 90 second recovery. I decided to employ this method and it really worked! The minute of fast paced cycling was over before I knew it (15 mph) and the recovery 90 seconds was long enough to allow me to catch my breath and ease up my tense muscles (9mph) I can bicycle a 5k easy now. I think I will try training for a 10k.

So in two days, I've ridden 9.0 miles in 53'15" and I have burned 810 calories.

I am officially in the negative calorie range for today (as of now) Woohoo!!

4.5 of 13.1

Last night I wanted to do a half marathon (again) on my Stella bike and I did 4.5 miles, 400 calories, and then called it quits. I was tired. Not just like boohoo this is hard work I want to quit tired, but more like goodness I have been busy all day no sleep sort of tired. It seems like I can not get over this hump. I am thinking its a mental battle now more than anything as I really WANT to do this. I want to push myself.

But its like I get road block or something.

Like a "Do not pass go, do not collect 13.1 miles"

Blink blink.

Maybe I am trying too hard. Maybe I am pushing myself in the wrong manner. I mean, 4.5 miles is a lot for someone who is barely active (me) and I feel like I should be doing more because others I know are. My best friend's boyfriend competed in a 500 mile bike race a month ago. And finished. He is also riding his bike from one end of Indiana to the other.

I offered my house as a rest stop, because lets face it, thats just retardedly excessive.

But I shouldnt be comparing myself to him, or to anyone else really. I sit on the bike and think gosh, I have been at this for 30 minutes and havent gone 5 miles. So-and-so would probably have done 20.

then I get depressed discouraged, and I quit.

Really I should be celebrating! I did 4.5 miles! In only 28 minutes! Wow! You know?

We I need to work on my mental attitude.

A lot.

I have been on plan so far today. I had a protein shake for breakfast. I am working again and have planned out my meals and snacks accordingly. I also went to the store and bought some easy, ready made things. Part of my fast food problem is "I dont have anything I can make in 5 minutes or less, so fast food is the option"

Hah! Im on detox now, baby, and I am sure it will be an adventure.

Today's plan goes something like this:

11.00 am Wakeup. Protein shake.
1.00 pm Snack
3.00 pm Protein shake for lunch
5.00 pm Snack
6.30 pm Dinner
9.00 pm Snack

Water, water, water. I am going to drink as much water as I can manage today. It feels good to be on plan, and to actually track what is going into my mouth. The protein shakes are filling but it lacks that ...chewing factor. I like to chew. Maybe thats how I got fat??? HA!

I like drinking my meals though, it makes it convenient. Also because its super chocolately flavored, it feels like its actually a shake-shake. But you know, with out all the fat. And its loaded with vitamins. Lets see... 190 calories, 6g fat, 10g protein, and 5g fiber. Not bad.

I really should eat a little more protein though, as I just had my shake at 11 and its 12.15 now and I am starting to feel some hunger pains. I think I will drink some water. I have a break coming up in a little bit, I might do some exercising while I am at it, and try to get it in.

Later tonight we are going over to my brother-in-law's new place. He and his girlfriend just got a house that they are renting and want to show us. Its my first time meeting the girlfriend.

Next Sunday, being Fathers day, we are headed to see the rest of hubby's family. Grandparents, aunts (I think?) and some other people I havent met or seen since our wedding. Goodness. Its a busy week in the HTMLN-household as Monday is an interview for him and Wednesday is a meeting for me, and of course, Curves on M, W, F, and Aquacise on Tuesday. Also if the weather is nice, I will be swimming/sunbathing. All in all, if I stay on plan 100% until Sunday, I should see a good loss.

Tomorrow, being Monday, means Curves and I am going to get weighed and measured too, and start reporting that again. I have been slacking in that area and I suspect my eating patterns are to blame. I've been exercising like a nut but eating like a fool and its definitely stalled my weight loss. Hoping to jump start it again and get back on track.

I can do this. Its only food. Its only food. Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.... Repeat to self when urges strike.

Bah!

I didnt exercise all day yesterday. Well, not true. I rode stella for 6 minutes, going 20 mph, and burned 100 calories.

And then I quit. Because I didnt feel like exercising any more.

Well now I have to work out twice as much today. And really, I need to. I ate some pizza yesterday. Stupid pizza. And its deliciousness.

At least it was BBQ and not meat lovers. Also wasnt greasy, so I feel a little bit better about my choices. But I am not going to be guilty at all, I am just going to work harder today. I need to, as I am feeling like I need to up my exercise. I also am starting to enjoy being active... I know, weird.

I am going to do the 2nd tier of 30 day shred because I am quite bored with the first, and want to try something new. I also am going to ride my bike 10 miles dangit! and no talking myself out of it or saying I cant do it. 10 freaking miles. Not that hard. Get in the game Christie.

Hubby got a job interview for Monday and I have a meeting on Wednesday to see if I am good enough at coloring comics that I could do that for a living haha

Very exciting things happening in the HTMLN-household. Its nice and warm out today not very sunny though, 85 degrees. Im not able to enjoy the weather though, until about 6pm and then really, there isnt any point.

Friday

And I didnt go to Curves. The trainer actually called me, asking me HEY WHERE THE EFF ARE YOU?! only she put it nicely, and I was sleeping, didnt recognise the number therefore ignored it, and felt bad.

Its too rainy to go to the pool today, scary thunderstorms overhead all day.

I hopped on the scale today and it held steady at 225 like it has been the last couple of days and I am not surprised honestly. I have been working out like crazy, and also eating like crazy, so I really have to rein it in.

As for the answer to two lies one truth.... I was pooped on by a flock of geese. True story. We were at an amusement park and a flock flew over head and I was in the targeted area. Im not really sure why I still like ducks/geese after that incident.

I am incredibly sleepy, I am blaming the weather here. I have been napping like a fool lately. I have 800 calories left for the day (wow, thats a lot)

And I have even eaten a bunch too. But here it is... staring at me... 800 calories left!

I had baked chicken, stuffed with neufatel cheese (the cream cheese with 1/3 fat) and spinach and ham. It was sooo good....

I pounded and flattened the chicken out to about 1/4 inch thickness, slapped a couple of tablespoons of cream cheese in a bowl with some frozen, chopped spinach, heated it to combine then spread it over the chicken breast, top with a piece of lunchmeat ham, rolled it up and secured with toothpicks. Then I heated up some Uncle Bens white rice, and mixed a little chicken stock in it, and had chicken rice on the side, it was soo good. 420 calories for the whole meal.

I also had a cheeseburger today too. Yummy. I still need to exercise, but I am going to go for a nap right now. Mmm. sleepy...

See you all soon x

Two Lies One Truth

Time for a little game, two lies and one truth. I will post 3 statements, two of which are fabricated and one that actually happened to me.

Guess which one!

1. I have been pooped on by a flock of geese.
2. I taught myself calligraphy for my wedding invitations.
3. I am a huge fan of futuristic sci fi films.

Success and Setbacks

If you have been paying attention to my blog at all in the last few days, you will notice that I have been a bit of a water buffalo.... or a fish. Lets go with fish. I have been in the water a lot. The pool, everyday, regardless of weather. I actually noticed my back is TAN TAN TAN. Its so brown. I have awesome tanlines on my shoulders, the likes I havent seen in years. I also need a new swimsuit. Last year, when I was much bigger, it held everything in, despite it wanting to.

This year... This year started out ok... but I am noticing more and more wardrobe malfunctions if you will... Lets say its not entirely a good thing if little kids are around... I need to find a better swimsuit (one piece, still, boo) that will hold the girls in a little better so they dont escape and scare children.


I also noticed my scalp is a little red, so I will have to get a big straw hat. Maybe with a big flower on it or something. I dont want sun poisoning on my scalp. I have diligently been putting sunscreen on my face, across my nose and cheeks especially, as those always burn no matter what. My right arm is a little red too, as we went joyriding today and I had my arm hanging out the window.

Every day, an hour in the pool equals about 520 calories burnt (thats like treading water, doing little tricks, and maybe a lap, not doing laps consistently. Leisurely.)
That being said, I havent gone to Curves or ridden my bike at all, as I had already hit my 500 calorie benchmark for the day.

Today, I did 500 calories on the bike, and an hour in the pool, for a total of 1020 calories burnt. Which sounds awesome, right? EXCEPT I ATE 300 CALORIES OVER, so my total intake was 2100 calories, instead of the 1800 that Alli has me on. (But my resting metabolic rate is 2400 calories, so I was still a little under... ugh)

But net wise, Im at 1100 hehe so I will look at it like that and try not to stress, as I did twice as much exercise as normal, so a little overeating wasnt too bad.

I havent stepped on the scale in a few days. I am trying to not let that dictate how I am feeling today. I realize that that stupid number can make me feel like I am the sexiest piece of a$$ on the planet or the biggest whale wrapped up in sausage casing. I am going to try my hardest to just ignore the scale and do what I want to do.

I also realized I *do* know how to swim properly, I'm not very fast at it, but I believe that will come with time. I know now that I can bring floaties into the pool so I will have to buy some noodles, so I can be a cool kid. A pool kid. Thats what I want to be when I grow up.

See ya guys tomorrow. I am going to Curves no matter what (also forecast is rainy, boo.)

Sunny Days....

I have been enjoying the sunny weather, and while it wasnt so hot today as to swim enjoyably for long periods of time, I still managed an hour. Tomorrow will be 80 degrees and sunny, sunny, sunny. I am so happy. I am really enjoying the great weather, the sunshine beating down on me, and laying around taking a nap.

My calves are so sore from Aquacise and that is really good. I havent gone to Curves this week, forgoing the gym to enjoy the sun, and I am going to try to get there tomorrow. But the trainer can't get mad at me for not going, I have been swimming every day this week! Which is still exercise!

Great exercise!

I might actually get tan this year as well. I havent been tan since I was 15. Thats 7 long years of vampire like paleness with none of the awesome bonuses.

I am headed off to shower. Got to wash the chlorine out of my hair before it makes me go bald. See you all tomorrow xo

Aquacise! (Results)

Today was the first day of Aquacise. There were about 10 people there, including my grandma and myself, and the instructor has been doing it for 16 years.

It was a lot of fun, there are floaty dumbbells that we use, made out of a styrofoam I think, and those water noodles. Part of the class is cardio and the other part is strength training.

I was the youngest one there, which I expected, so of course, I was going a lot harder and faster than anyone else because well... I can! The water was a balmy 84 degrees, and I didnt want to get out, I really enjoyed it. I can't wait for next week and I am already looking forward to it.

The best part of the whole day was when we were sitting on the noodles, having them between our legs, we were supposed to lean back a little and kick our legs forward, well I leaned back too far and overbalance, falling into the water, legs in the air. Haha! I came up laughing just at how silly I looked. When we were doing the cool down I was standing in the deep end (5 ft.... hahah) and we were doing squats to stretch out our quads, well that put me in the water up to my nose, and I started laughing then too. My grandma was concerned I would drown (laughing underwater isnt good) so she made me go in the shallower end.

I had gotten a little sunburnt from swimming yesterday but it has already tanned up. My face is still red, and I had slathered sunscreen all over it, so I am glad that I did. I may look into getting some noodles and stuff for our pool here, and do some at home aquacise.

I had forgotten how much I love the water. It is so much fun to be there and swim around. I plan on spending a lot of time in the water and out in the sun this summer, I really enjoyed it.

Water Season

Today I had a friend come over, and let me tell you what, I missed hanging out with her. I had so much fun. She is also on a weight loss journey and she started after I did, and she has lost 35 lbs! WOOHOO! I'm super proud of her.

She has been doing this program called the Wave She offered to let me borrow it, and I am excited to give it a try.

We went swimming today too, and the water was fairly warm considering. I didnt do any laps or anything but I did float around and get a little sun.

Tomorrow is aquacise, I am so excited to go, and try something new for once.

Also I have been getting a lot of spam comments (2 lol) that look like someone's name but its actually a drug. The weird thing is their comments are a valid response. Is anyone else getting these?

I'll tell you all how aquacise went tomorrow!

Vegetable Lasagna

No not that Vegetable Lasagna... But that is pretty good.

We had *Mostly* Vegetable lasagna for dinner tonight. I had frozen some leftover lasagna meat sauce from the last time I made it, and had started to cook it up and added a little... ok a lot more... spinach. And then I added a can of petite diced tomatoes. It was really quite delicious, despite the fact it was 3/4 veggies. I think my palette is changing! Also I think the shredded cheese helped.

Little Known Facts

Here is a little bit more about me that you dont know.

1. I am an artist. While I dont draw so much as support my husband in his art career, I have been known to bang out a doodle on occasion. I used to draw all the time and from 7th grade to my second year of college, that is I used to do. I miss it sometimes, but its no longer the focus of my life.

2. I am a huge huge huge fan of the Dragonlance series. I love a lot of Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis' works and the Dragonlance will always be my favourite. My mom had been wanting me to read the Annotated Chronicles for a year or so and I had been put off by the sheer volume of the book. It was 1200 pages, encompassing three books. I took it with me on a whim on a family trip to TN and spent over 8 hours reading it in the car.

3. I am also a graphic designer. I'm fluent in Photoshop and Flash, also have a bit of Illustrator, After Effects, and Premiere experience. In addition, I know how to model and animate in 3D Studio Max, but once again, I let my husband do most of the art in the house as it is more his passion than it ever was mine.

4. Like with movies, I am extremely prejudiced with books. It usually takes years of nagging coaxing from my mother to get me to read a book, and I always like them. That being said, now I ask her "Is it worth reading" long before I pick up a copy.

5. I am a gamer, but only own 2 games in my collection. Final Fantasies 9 and 10. Hubby has the rest.

Running Swimming Strength Training Oh My

I am so excited that summer is here now, its a beautiful 85 degrees. Went to Curves today with mom, and we drove around in the Diva Car top down, hair flying behind us in the wind.

I burned 370 calories at Curves! Tuesday is Aquacise, and this month they are *finally* replacing our busted gym equipment in our fitness center and I can't wait for it. I have been wanting to run on the elliptical for weeks, but it has been broken down and wouldn't respond. Here's to hoping that it comes soon and everything is a-ok with it.

Monday is Curves and hanging out with a friend of mine. If its nice, we are going swimming. Wednesday is Curves, Thursday will be a bike ride, and Friday is Curves. Thats 5 full days of working out! (With poolside tanning time thrown in, weather permitted)

This whole exercise thing is kind of groovy.

Cooking and Shopping

I havent been (proper) grocery shopping in a few weeks now. I usually end up going to the store on a whim ("Hey, Im in the mood for xyz! Let's go to the store and I'll cook!")

I really want to sit down and make a comprehensive list of things I would like to have in the home so I can make my meals whenever I fancy. But I dont have that kind of money to buy EVERYTHING I want, so I will have to make a regular list with a little bit of the stock up on extras thrown in.

I'm really into making my own whatever now. I like making my own sauces for spaghetti and lasagna, I love making my own chili spices, I love making my own cheddar cheese biscuits (similar to the ones in Red Lobster haha)

I love shredding my own cheese, chopping my own peppers and onions and garlic. I even zested a lemon once. I love making my own cheese sauce for macaroni. I like making casseroles. Oh this woman can cook. Ask anyone I have cooked for and they will let you know this girl has got it goin' ON!

Lately I have been in the mood to roast things. Corn. Peppers. Tomatoes.
I have also been in the mood for some fresh ingredients, like my salad, and other fruits and veggies. Yes veggies. Amazing how one's tastes can change. I am slowly getting into other veggies mostly like my darker greens for salads but also find carrots to be appetizing in small amounts.

I also want a slap chopper. Have you seen these things? They are awesome. My mom has one and uses it for everything, from chopping onion and peppers to cheese to egg to even getting ground meat to a uniform consistency. (Thats only because my dad is a big baby and likes everything finely chopped)


I have to compile a list of meals I would like to have and also I need some convenience items, especially to snack on when I am feeling peckish. I want raspberries. I love them when they are mixed or juiced, but cant stand the seeds. I want to be able to eat them whole eventually. I love the tart aftertaste they have. Seeds are a nuisance.

I completely lost the plot of this post.

Alli

First, Food log! YAY

Breakfast: Protein shake which contained protein powder, 1% milk and 2 T lite Hershey's syrup: 295 calories

Lunch: Nachos Supreme from Taco Bell with 20 Cherry Pepsi
680 calories

Dinner: Awesome grilled chicken salad with baby greens, including endive, carrot, arugula, blah blah, with 1/4 c reduced fat cheddar cheese, 4 T of light ranch dressing, and 1 chopped egg, 385 calories.

Exercise, 3 miles walking around the mall, 1 hour, 243 calories
Stella, 8 minutes, 150 calories. Total consumed 1360/1800 and total exercised 397/500



I started taking Alli yesterday. Its something I have had laying around the house for a while and never really stuck to on plan, because lets face it, I'm not much of a pill popper. I always start strong, then fizzle out.

Yesterday I managed to take all three pills. You take one with each meal and it "blocks" half of the fat you consume, by not letting your body digest it. Side effects... aren't pretty.

Listed on the side of the bottle: "Bowel changes may occur if you eat too much fat. These include gas with oily spotting, loose stools, more frequent stools that may be hard to control"

Nice. Poop your pants but look skinny. Since I work in the home, I don't really consider this a major problem.

Secondly, it has a nice little online program similar to Weight Watchers (but its free) and you customize your meals and exercise plan. Each day you get an email. Its a 25 week process, each week is a different step and you are given challenges each week. Based on my height and weight, it put me at 1800 calories a day and gave me a menu of items to eat, 3 meals and 2 snacks, along with all the nutritional information in each meal. It's pretty spiffy.

I do have to say though, that you really do end up going to the bathroom more. And if you arent following a low fat diet to begin with, the results could possibly be disastrous.

How do I feel about taking a weight loss supplement pill? Well, mixed reviews on that. Not really digging the actual process of taking the medication, but loving the fact that it keeps one pretty regular, the hardest part will be remembering to take them, I like the layout of the website (myalli.com) and it was free to join and register. The pills are a little on the expensive side, so if you arent willing to pay for them and use them every day, not worth it. They have a shopping list that you can customize and print out, which is cool. When I get some money to buy groceries, I'll have to take advantage of that.

I'll let you know how it goes.

PS I dont consider this cheating. Its not a "cleanse and burn" Its following a sensible, low fat diet with exercise, important health information and tips, and a partial fat blocker. It doesnt mean I can binge all I want on cookies and cakes and still lose.

PPS: No one asked me to do this about Alli, it was not endorsed nor did I receive any compensation in any form

Facing the Dark

As you may or may not know, I'm terrified of the dark.
I also dont like sunlight. Im a twilight kind of gal!

Anyway. I had gotten something on my new yellow shirt (darn you dirty kitchen! Time to scrub you clean!) and had taken it off and happened to have looked in the mirror in the bathroom. The hall light was on but the bathroom light was off.

I saw: A tired, puffy eyed woman wearing glasses, with dirty hair pulled away from her face and a grumpy face, upset about the yellow shirt stain :(

What I noticed: I had collar bones. Collar bones! I missed them so much. They somehow got lost in all of my subsequent fat and I have been longing their return.


I turned on the light, to better oogle them. THEY WERE GONE! What! Wait, I just saw them where could they possibly have run off to? Collar bones? *whimper* I flick the light off again, and notice they return.

Hmm. Then I play "light switch rave" flicking the lights on and off again several more times to confirm my theory.

See, I have collar bones. They are there. I just have to be in shadow for me to see them. Which leads me to this conclusion....

Being in the dark can be pretty great.

Let's face it, normally we hide in the dark. Honey, turn off the light, as I dont want you to see all my bad parts, the love handles and muffin tops, the cellulite, the belly. Anything we dont want to show off. But the bad thing is being in the dark, we dont realize when we have some good parts. You know, like collar bones. :D

I had just been talking about them earlier today as well. I was lamenting to hubby that I no longer had them. But see, I do have them. A small, subtle divet. Oh yes. I cant wait until they make their full appearance. It was like they showed me a bit of ankle, a little tease to get me excited and begging for more. I am begging already.

After I had gotten over playing in the bathroom, I decided to ride my stationary bike, Stella. I wanted to do 20 minutes or 200 calories, whichever came first. I surpassed 200 calories then decided to crank the resistance up all of the way. I was doing great, considering it took every ounce of strength, effort, and will to keep peddling. It was HARD! I managed another 50 calories and 5 minutes on my time, and was so out of breath I had to call it quits.

I hope to go to Curves tomorrow or if not, swimming. I desperately need to see some sun. I am so pale I glow. Not even kidding.

Comfort Zone

I am pushing myself out of my comfort zone on an almost daily basis. Let's review shall we?

I have started to ride my bike longer distances.
I am going to Curves
I joined a class at the YMCA (Aquacise, next Tuesday afternoon!!)

Probably the most significant

I bought a yellow shirt.

I never wore yellow. I thought it wasnt me. Boy was I wrong. Yellow is totally me. Bubbly, bright, exciting, refreshing. A bit of yellow in a sea of black, my wardrobe finally has a little color. I plan on adding lots more.

Wow I look good in YELLOW

Weekend Recap and Lookin' Goooooood

Hope everyone had a great Memorial Day weekend, I know that I did!

We were scheduled to have dinner at my mom's yesterday afternoon, around 3, but it got pushed back to about 5 because of a few things.

1.) Hubby had to work over until 3pm instead of getting off at 2pm
B) We battled torrential downpours on the way over, as we were driving RIGHT INTO THE STORM. Needless to say, good thing hubby drove, I was a mess watching. Didn't help mom was texting. Hahaha.

It was so bad, you couldnt see ten feet in front of you on the highway, and people were still driving like idiots. We made it safe and sound. A trip that normally takes 20 minutes took about 45.

For dinner we had
-Salad, complete with baby lettuces, spinach, endive, and shredded carrots. Toppings included hard boiled eggs, grape tomatoes, croutons and chopped bacon. Light French for dressing. I had a huge bowl of greens with a sprinkle of everything else. Delish.
(Note: I was actually *disappointed* when I finished all the greens and was only left with toppings. That has never happened!)

-Main course of STEAK!! ME WANT MEAT!!! *cough* Anyway, dad has a propane grill that I have never ever ever used, and I was supposed to teach him how to grill properly. My dad has a philosophy on grilling and its "The more heat and fire you have the quicker your food gets done" But thats not how you do it. I also grilled out some corn on the cob, roasted it straight on the grill, and also four HUGE steaks! HUGE, bigger than my head. Not even kidding. I grilled them to medium rare (we all like our cow mostly dead)They were perfect.

-Sides include the aforementioned grilled corn on the cob, marinated in melted butter, salt, pepper, and taco seasoning. Delish. Also had baked potato and a huge garlic bread loaf that I had stuffed full of provolone cheese.

I had a big bowl of salad, half of a steak, and two pieces of garlic bread with cheese. I was stuffed! I also had a Mike's Light Hard Lemonade. I felt so good though, and had a blast with my family!


Yesterday was the unofficial start of summer as we all know, and I thought it would be a good idea to try on my swimsuit from last year, to see where I stand fit-wise. It feels a little looser but over all I think its a better fit than it was last year and looking in the mirror I noticed two things: I look GREAT in it and my stomach is waaaaay smaller.

Hurray! I might need a new suit at the end of the summer but I am not going to be in any rush, I actually feel confident in my suit this year. Big difference from last year