Juicy Juice

I'm a Juicy Juice kid. I grew up on that stuff. More importantly, I drank the apple juice only! (Ok there was a little mixed berry in there... Shh)


I just found out like 4 days ago that one 8 oz glass of Juicy Juice is equal to one cup of fruit! I bought two 48 oz containers. Hubby drank one and I am drinking the other one, right now, as we speak. Straight out of the container. No middle man. No glass. I guzzle this stuff. Mmm mmm good.


Thats over 6 cups of fruit! Woot! Now if I could just manage to get my veggies in too...

Aquacise!

I was looking at classes offered by my local YMCA and I found one, Aquacise! Water aerobics! Woot! Now I just needed someone to go with. Hubby probably wouldn't. What does he need exercise for? He's in perfect shape.

I asked a friend but never heard back.

I was lamenting to my mom and she suggested I take my gramma. I kind of thought she wouldnt be into it, but I gave her a call anyway. Soon as the words "pool" and "want to come" were out of my mouth she was all over it, like Goober is on peanut butter

So, starting next Tuesdays, we are totally going to do our water aerobics. Once a week for an hour. There were 25 spots of 25 open when we registered and the deadline is the 7th. So far, its just me and Gramma.

I've never done a class before and I am hoping that I have a good time and that my gramma enjoys it too. In 8 weeks we will be hot for sure lol

Swimming

Yay summer time is here that means that my pool is going to open soon! Should be monday but you never know round here. They tell you one thing and mean another but we will keep our hopes up.

I want to go swimming so badly. I have been tanning up a bit so I wont burn, but I still glow I am so pale lol (honestly, I do tan, its just years since I've gone outside longer than 20 mins)

I can just see it now. Get up when hubby goes to work. Put on big fat one piece swimsuit. Liberally apply sunblock to face. Lay out in the sun for 20 minutes. Jump in pool to cool off. Do a lap. Get out. Lay down to dry off. Liberally apply sunblock to face. Rinse and repeat.

Oh how great would that be! I'll have to look up some pool exercises too, and do them. Im sure the lifeguard will join me! It's always some skinny 17 year old girl who would not be able to drag my ass out of the pool if I started drowning. Good thing fat floats, or we would be in a world of trouble.

Blog Award: Beautiful Blogger

Thanks to Lynda with a Y for my blog award, check her out at Taking Less Space

I would also like to say hello to all of my new followers lately, I wish I could come visit your blogs but sometimes I can't find you. Hello!




Anyway, blog award.



The rules are: Post 7 things about yourself that you dont know about
Then TAG 7 people

1. I am extremely picky about movies. Like, hard core. If I dont like the movie from the look of it, immediately, I will sit through it and pout.

2. The one person who can always get me out of my pity parties without sucking up to me, is my mother. She just wiggles her fingers in my face and goes "BA-LU-LU-LU-LU" you know, making a trilling sound. My husband does a good job of cheering me up but he usually you know kisses and hugs me and tells me I'm wonderful. My mom just makes funny noises and throws paper balls at me. It works! Dont ask. If it aint broke, dont fix it.

3. I have a huge crush on Mike Rowe. I think he has some of the prettiest blue eyes and of course he is cocky and funny as heck, as he is covered in sh!t, he takes life like its supposed to be, a party. Also I heard he is hung!

4. I am a gamer, but I really like watching more than I like playing. There are a few games I will play, but my heart resides with old school Mario Kart and Donkey Kong Country. I also love Left 4 Dead, and I am not a big zombie fan. Go figure.

5. The scariest movie in the world is IT. I hate that stupid clown. Tim Curry is also my favorite audiobook narrator, so go figure on that one.

6. I am terrified of going blind. LOL Odd, since I am so close to being blind anyway. At least my vision is correctable.

7. I once finger painted a giant turkey. This needs some explaining. I was in high school and in art class. We were going over Pointillism and the various artists who had done them, our teacher wanted us to pick out a picture of something and then do a pointillism on it. Everyone else picked architecture and flowers, I wanted something different. I stumbled across a picture of a turkey head, in a hunting magazine and laughed my ass off. For days. And days. I also used my fingers to paint it instead of a brush, which was also cool. But alas, my art teacher hated it. My mommy loved it though. I'd like to do another one some day. Maybe of another goofy looking bird. Peacock?

Anyway, 7 fun filled facts of your favorite neighborhood Christie.

I'd tag people, but you should just do it. I dont play favorites. Unless its Mike Rowe.

Today

I didnt go to Curves. I slept instead.
I went to my moms. My best friend was home from out of town and we made her a big meal of lasagna. Hubby got the morning off work so he could come too! we had lots of fun.

I hopped on the scale before leaving and it said 223.2 which is down from 224.5 yesterday and 227 the day before. I am proud that I am once again seeing downward movement. I so desperately want to be out of the 220s so I am going to try extra extra hard and track everything that I eat, exercise more.


I really missed going to Curves today, I feel like something is missing hehe I guess its good that I like it. Maybe I will go Tuesday as they are closed on Monday. I dont have a lot planned today, but I have a really busy weekend, ending with grilled steaks and a movie on Monday, so I have to plan out what I am going to eat all weekend, budgeting in the good time.

I am hoping that I can finish my doily I've got going on today, I'm almost done, on round 8 of 11. Maybe I can block it out today. I was thinking of selling some on etsy or artfire, once I am able to whip them up pretty quickly.

I like being artsy fartsy lol :)

I like my numbers

I am seeing great numbers lately.

Let me spell them out for you:

Monday: Curves, burnt 358 calories
Bike ride, 7 miles round trip, 600 calories
Walk with neighbor, 120 calories burned

Tuesday: Off day. Walk with neighbor, 120 calories burned

Wednesday: Curves, burnt 331 calories
Bike ride, burnt 350 calories

Thursday: Bike ride, 500 calories

In 4 days (three really) I have burnt over 2370 calories! That averages out to about 592 a day. Well above my target of 500/daily.

Every little bit really does help!

I am very proud of myself. Also, have gone through another 1/2 gallon of water today as well. I like that I am pushing myself a little each day. 500 calories is such a little thing yet it adds up to be a big thing (1 lb a week) and I am doing cardio and strength training! I really cant wait until I get measured again at Curves.

I am going to ask her if I can see my measurements so I can make a copy for my spreadsheet! I am sure my thighs will lose a little, as I am riding an average of 4.5 miles every session.

Since I have gotten my tag at Curves and started tracking what I have burned, I have burned a total of 1693 calories! Wow! Thats in 5 sessions too, which makes my average 338 calories!

See, every little bit DOES count. Three days a week and I can make a difference. 500 calories a day and I'll be thin in no time.

Am I done yet?

I hopped on my bike last night, and was riding. The whole time I kept thinking "only XX amount of calories/miles to go" and that ended up seeming very daunting. After 25.00 minutes I had only managed to go 3.6 miles and was at 360 calories. It was very discouraging to keep looking at what I had done and realizing it was nowhere close to the goal I had set for myself.

Maybe it was an unrealistic goal. Maybe my head wasn't in the game.

but at one point, I realized, instead of looking at how far I have *left to go* to look at *how far I have come*

Instead of whining that I was still 640 calories shy of my goal, I should have been looking at it like "woohoo I've already done 360 calories, I'm awesome"

Today I hopped on my bike for a quick 100 cal ride, one of many today. If I can spare 6-10 minutes 4 or 5 times a day, I can get in 500+ calories easy.

Still today I caught myself, counting down. I'm at 35 calories, only 65 left to go. Instead I was like woohoo, I've already gone 35 calories, thats a lot of a few moments of sitting here.

Its hard to change how I am thinking and I am wondering if that is the biggest part of the game. Am I strong enough in the mind to keep going when my inner voice tells me I should be done? Am I strong enough to ignore the voice that says "Am I done yet?"

Can I keep pushing myself? I believe the answer is "yes" I may not do it all at once, but I'll be damned if I dont get to the point where I can do a half marathon on a bike. I can already go almost 10 miles. Just 3.1 more and I will be there. That is awesome. Just to think last year at this time I could barely do anything like that, and to do a complete 180 and want to drive myself a little further each time makes me feel that much more successful.

I have all the time in the world to get my weight under control. Some people dont have that luxury, having to balance work, school, kids. I am lucky that I dont have to worry about any of that. I can do anything I put my mind to because right now, all I have is time. Stop twiddling your thumbs, Christie, and get your ass on the bike. Is it that hard? No. Do I always want to do it? No. Do I feel fantastic afterward? YES.

Today the scale said 224.2 down from 227.0 yesterday. My weight is fluctuating like crazy, and I am about done bothering with the scale.

PS: Hubby got the job. I knew he would.

360? 680!!

Screw 360s! Thats just a complete circle. I'm hard core now. I burned 330 calories at Curves today and also 350 on Stella at home (My stationary bike, for you new readers.)

I am so proud of myself for burning so many calories today, considering I am very nervous about this job interview for hubby, and normally when I am anxious I want to eat (not going to lie, had a bowl of sugar free, fat free vanilla ice cream with sugar free chocolate syrup) but I would keep eating. Until one of two things happened: Food coma, or getting sick and miserable.

I decided to work off some of my extra energy and anxiety on Stella and I am proud of myself. I wanted to do a half marathon (13 miles) or 1000 calories, whichever turned up on my display first but I am very tired yet proud of my accomplishment. I biked for a full 30 minutes as well, at a slower pace (about 7 miles an hour, top out at 3.6 miles total)

Now if you look at what I did (3.6 miles) versus what I wanted to do (13 miles) you will see I only made it about 25% of the way. Thats ok. I was doing this to keep my mind occupied, not to push myself. Anything is better than nothing, as Sheryl said in her blog today.

I believe its true. I want to believe that every little bit helps. And my mom has a theory "One LB lost is better than 2 lbs gained" which is what would happen if I wasnt trying. I'd like to adapt that to "350 calories burnt is better than 700 calories consumed"! Because lets face it, when you are worried or stressed over something you are not thinking "ooh I'll have an apple" you are thinking "I could use some gosh darn cheese fries right about NOW"

MMM cheese fries. See the hardest part of weight loss for me is giving up those things. The cheese fries. And I know I shouldnt *have* to give them up, I can budget them into my daily allowance, say, once every two weeks as a splurge (and really, 350 calories for a side of cheese fries isnt horrible, as long as you dont get the 580 calorie cheeseburger and the 900 calorie shake.)

I ate a taco today. With LETTUCE on it. I am not a fan of lettuce by any means. Its all watery and crunchy and has no taste to it at all. Especially iceberg lettuce. No, I prefer a salad with dark leafy greens. Spinach, arugula, etc. I will eat a salad if it has more darker veggies in it than lighter ones, because they actually have *flavor* to them and usually arent too crunchy.

I also drank a gallon of water in 24 hours. Woot! LOL

I hopped on my fancy scale (which is really a piece of crap) to check my water hydration and I should be at the 50% target, but I usually sit at the 40% line and it said I was at 43% which is some improvement. It also said that I weighed 211. I wish! Thats like... way lower than usual. So I hopped on my ACCURATE scale and it said what I saw this morning 223. Then I tried the POS scale again and it said 228.

Screw them. I am only going to weigh in at Curves, once a month, and continue to push myself to burn over 500 calories a day. I think if I can do that, then there will have to be some sort of movement on some level. Inches lost, body fat lost, lbs lost... Its all gotta go somewhere. I cant work so hard and then not see any results, ever.

Ill leave you with this pic, which is the most current of me. You will see that I have a waist again.



Pretty great when you think you are looking good in sweat pants, eh?

But this is what I used to look like:




Notice how happy my husband looks! lol

But isnt that sad... That cake looks so tiny compared to me. I mean, it was a smaller cake, but it was still big enough to feed like 15 people.

I see a definite difference in my appearance, even if the scale isnt showing a significant amount of weight loss.

Dont count your chickens

Before they hatch
Before they hatch
Dont count your chickens before they hatch....


Hubby is off at an interview as we speak and I am super super SUPER excited!!I mean like REALLY excited! (I'm excited, can you tell?!)

Its one of those once in a life time opportunities, HELLO you need to pay attention to mr opportunity and he's a knockin'! sort of things.


I want him to get it so badly. I am rooting for you!! LETS GO HUBBY LETS GO!!

Its a dinner interview, is that common? I've only been on one, and it was after I had already been hired, so it was like an initiation/orientation dinner.

I've also had an etiquette dinner. Have you guys ever had one of those? Is it weird etiquette intrigues me (prolly because I will never be posh and reserved, as well as tidy. I have politeness, but no airs. LOL)

The restaurant they are at is a good one, and from what I remember, decently priced. It had good food. Great chicken parmesean.

What am I having for dinner? A big bowl of worry soup lol I will probably go fetch something for myself but I am so nervous I doubt it.

Doing.

Somedays all I want to do is *do* stuff

I like having a to do list those days.

Other days, I dont like doing anything, other than sleeping or laying around the house waiting for someone to update their twitter, facebook, blog.

I get annoyed when I can't do something the moment I want to.

Other days, I wish I had something to do.

Its so funny how our perspectives can change from one moment to another, one day to the next. Right now, I want to watch the Finale of Biggest Loser, but I have another hour.

I want to work on my doily
I want to ride my bike
I want to hug someone.
I want to feel like I accomplished something today.

I dont want to stay inside. I dont want to cook dinner.

But I will. Whats for dinner? Heck if I know. Probably grilled chicken and mac and cheese. Because that is all I have. Someone needs to go to the store.

Its another hot hot day

I woke up this morning a bit stiff, particularly in my hip flexors. I am not sure what happened there, but for a while, it was extremely painful. Two Excedrin and 8 hours of sleep later, Im much more myself today and feel very energized. Partly because I realized that my bum and thighs are looking fantastic as of late, and partly because the sun is shining!! Woo hoo!!

Hubby is working all day, and only gets a two hour break so I am going to meet him for lunch, meaning he will eat and I will be drinking some water, as I've already had my lunch.

I also have a few errands to run and one thing that I am so grateful for is the AC in my car, last month our electric bill SKY ROCKETED (it's 4x bigger) so we are keeping AC to a minimum in the house. Lots of fans, thats all I am saying!

Hubby has a big day tomorrow and I have done nothing but worry and pray over it. I have shaken my money tree more times than I can count and I am hoping praying that this comes to fruition.

I am also addicted to playing Words with Friends on the iPhone. Its a lot like Scrabble, but way cooler. I play with my mom and hubs, as well as one of my friends and lots of random people. This one person, who is a random opponent, is kicking my arse so bad. I mean, he is getting like 35 points off of 2 letter words because he is making them next to other words and adding on to them. Its frustrating. I have 150 pts, he has over 300. LOL

Anyone else have an iPhone/touch/pad who wants to play with me? Send me a message and I'll give ya my username.

A Tisket A Tasket

Well I had already bragged about Curves today. If you follow me on Twitter then you will also know that I bragged that I went on an hour bike ride as well. We went on our favourite trail and I was so excited to go! It was a lovely 88 degrees out. I packed up a few bottles of water one for me and one for the hubs, and off we went.

I would say we skedaddled.


Anyway, I was determined to accomplish a few things on this ride: I wanted to go further, and I wanted to ride up every hill. I hate hills. But what I hate more is I allow the protesting my legs are doing to convince my head that I cant. So while I was chuggin along up these hills (none of which are big, or probably even noticeable to most people) I told myself-- OUTLOUD-- That I will go up this hill. Its either the hill or me, and I'll be damned if its me.

Eff you hill! I gasped as I huffed and puffed, lugging my Beach Cruiser up with my tired, already worked out to the max legs, and I said I am not going to give up. I can do this. I will do this.

By the time my rant was over, I was over it. The incline, I mean.

We also went further down the path, and I think we probably did a total of 3-5 miles, round trip. Which is pretty darn awesome. And I guesstimate that I burned approximately 500 calories. I am proud of myself for going the extra distance (literally and metaphorically) and for pushing my limits just a little bit.

But its beddy-by time for me, kiddos. I am tired, and I need to catch up on my beauty sleep.

360

Woot! Today was a Curves day and I went. I am going to try very very very hard to go every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

I feel so much better whenever I go. I think it helps for me to get out of the house go for a bit of a drive, and then to spend 30 minutes at the *only* gym/club that I have ever liked. Eff the YMCA thats all I'm saying, with your intimidating machines and dark and scary weight rooms.

And your children. With your wet floors in the changing room that makes it feel like high school all over again. YES MY GRANNY PANTIES HAVE HOLES IN THEM, could you put a shirt on for Chrissakes!


I digress.

I really enjoyed Curves today. Mom went as well and she has fun looking at my CurveSmart display and seeing how many machines we have left. I am really proud of how hard I have been working out lately and that brings us to today's magic number.

I burnt 360 Calories! WOOT WOOT! That may not seem a lot, but hey, in 30 minutes, I worked out every single muscle group in my body. I felt each and every *one* of those calories. My abs still hurt. My thighs? Burning. In my goals to do at least 500 calories of exercise per day, that is more than half. In 30 minutes. Which means to get my other 140 calories, I only have to ride my bike for about 8.5 minutes.

Hallelujah! Hubby told me today my neck is looking thinner, my face as well. He said I look like I did when we first met (in the face, not the tum tum, got another 40lbs to go for that)

I feel muscles in my arms now, still soft and squishy, but much bigger than they were before. I am a lot happier these days.

I still stress on things, on life, on money (mostly money) and not everything always goes my way, some days I am down in the dumps no matter what I do. Some days its really hard to get out of bed or get dressed.

Then I have days like today. Everything is awesome, its all sunshine and rainbows. I know that I pushed myself and gave it my all. Thats such a great feeling. Someday I'm sure my thighs will thank me. I know that I am proud of what I have accomplished today and I can smile a little bigger.

I had a long weekend and didnt feel like getting out of bed, but I am so glad I did. I had a great time today with my mom.

I am going to start up with my measurements and weekly weigh ins again, as I miss the data. LOL

Hot Hot HOT

No not me. Though I am getting closer to that goal, even if I'm doing it at inch-worm proportions, but the WEATHER


IS FREAKING BEAUTIFUL

After weeks of yucky rain, its finally hot and sunny again, in the upper 80s! Woot. Of course, since it came on the heels of the rain, its freaking humid as well. Soooo

If you are in the Midwest, lots of water. And go outside.

The internet will still be here when you get back.

I am the CHAMPION!!

You know what? I went to Curves today.

Alone.


Yep. Drove all the way there (30 minute trip) thinking about how much its gonna suck to go alone and how boring it will be, and oh my goodness what if someone expects me to talk??

Then hubby called and I told him I was debating on going (even though I was already driving and more than half way there) he told me to just do it, I'm already committed.

And he was right. I was already committed. I was committed from the moment I put on my workout pants and tee shirt, my Shape ups and clambered into the car.

I was feeling blah (again the weather is the devil I swear, its been nothing but rainy all freaking week) but I used some awesome tunes to get me moving and motivated.

The song "Loser" by Three Doors Down was playing, and I really like that song, it made me think today though, how stupid it is I'm letting my fears get in the way, and why would I want to keep gorging myself on food and not be slim and happy(happier)

This is getting old.
I can't break these chains that I hold
My body's growing cold
There's nothing left of this mind or my soul.
Addiction needs a pacifier, the buzz of this poison is taking me higher

And thats how I sort of felt yesterday. That I was helpless. Might as well give in. But I didnt.

And lets look back on my accomplishments, so we can see how much I've done this week alone.

I biked for 45 minutes, burning 600 calories on Tuesday
I went to the zoo for 2.5 hours, and burned 600 calories walking Wednesday
Thursday I went on a walk with my neighbor, for about 20 minutes
And today I went to Curves--alone!-- and burned 338 calories.

I felt every single calorie too. I totally worked my buns (and abs, and arms, and legs) off, pushed myself as hard as I could go. I even got my heart rate up near 200 lol

What a great week, and a great work out too! I totally feel much much better. I am still blah and full of the weather blues but other than that I have been doing very well I think!

PS: Fiber, you and I are on speaking terms again. The scale moved from 226.5 yesterday to 223.4 today.

YAY!

My Town's Biggest Loser (aka how I missed the boat)

My town does a Biggest Loser knock off. I stumbled across the website today and was taking a poke around! Oh look, they are accepting applications.

Download form. Fill it out.
Make a dvd of why we should pick you
Send a photo


Okay, okay I can do that... even got a few video ideas...

Be sure to have it dropped off at [[xyz gym]] by FEBRUARY 26, 2010

Did I miss the boat or what??

By three months! Not even close!! LOL

Oh well. I was looking at the trainers and everything and goodness, they are all beefy. Even the woman.

Not sure I'd like a beefy woman yelling at me. Im not even sure I would like a beefy dude yelling at me.

Oh well. Always next year. Unless I'm fit and beefy by then myself lol

Conquering Fear

Fear.

Oh boy.

do I have a lot of it!

One quote I love is "Being brave doesnt mean I'm not afraid, but having the courage to stand up to my fears"

Not sure who said it, but its something I admired.

I'm terribly afraid of people, since I have gotten laid off and been working at home I have become a hermit. I dont even answer my own door if I'm alone.

I have a peephole!

Just saying.

But I realized that I can't let my fears stop me.

I dont want to be held back in my weight loss journey just because I am afraid of going to Curves alone.

I also realized that I was basically forcing my mom to go with me, just because I didn't want to go alone. But I still really enjoyed going with her.

I love Curves. I'm tired of being held back by my own fears, my own stupid hesitancy.

How can I expect to change if I am not willing to go outside my comfort zone.

I mean, I dont even talk to people I know, but every season people will go on Biggest Loser and show the WORLD how fat they are?! WHAT?!

I can't do that! Yet I am supposed to lose weight? Pffft

Its not happening if I dont make myself go. Sure its a bit of a drive, but its worth it. The trainer is very nice and she makes me feel like I can do anything.

Plus I bought that silly (awesome) tag and I CANT quit going!

Im going. Tomorrow. Alone.

Darn you, fiber!!

Look, you and I we arent that close, honestly. You come nestled into all sorts of things, most of which I am not on good speaking terms with.


However, you and I enjoyed a full day together yesterday and I am paying for it dearly today. I have done nothing but lie around and whine, fall asleep clutching my stomach and cursing you to high heaven and back.


I'm sure I will thank you tomorrow though.


(I hope so, anyway)

Maybe we can do this again next week? Same time, same place?

Awesome Chili Recipe

I made an awesome pot of chili tonight I must say so myself.

I pride myself on a few dishes that I make (lasagna being my most requested) and chili is my favorite easy meal.

I love making a big big big BIGGG pot of chili, that way I can feed myself and my hungry husband all week.


Here's how I made tonights:

3 lbs ground beef (or turkey, whatever floats your boat)
1 can light red kidney beans
1 can dark red kidney beans
1 can black beans
1 medium onion, chopped
2 pkts of chili season
3 Tbls chili powder
1 Tbls garlic powder
1 can petite diced tomatoes (you can put whatever kind of tomatoes here, I like petite diced because I'm not a huge fan of tomatoes in the first place)
1 large can of tomato sauce (or V8. I was going to buy v8 but forgot)

Brown the meat in the skillet, meanwhile chop up your onion and dump it in. When your meat is all done, go ahead and drain it. Then transfer to a big @$$ pot. Open and rinse all your beans. Dump. Open your tomatoes. Dump (keep the juice). Add your v8 or just regular tomato sauce. Add seasons. Then stiiiir. If it needs a little water, add some. Eyeball it , but dont put too much in.

Simmer. Oh yeah, and then simmer.

Simmer some more.

Break out the cheese and the crackers and dump in a bowl. Eaaaat!

I love chili. Ill be eating this all week.

Slimwiches

No its not the skinny witch we all want to be and subsequently hate, but a thin hamburger bun.

A bakery in my town makes them. At 90 calories, they are half the size of a regular hamburger bun. I was a bit skeptic, because they are whole wheat and I could have gotten the regular whole wheat buns for only 110 calories, but when I compared other nutritional information, I went with the slimwich, although I was still skeptic.

Weighing in at 90 calories, this bun packs a punch, 5 grams of fiber per serving. Also, 4 of those are insoluble fiber, you know, the good kind! Woohoo!

They are also extremely soft, another concern I had. Wouldn't they be hard or stale? Thats the beauty of buying local. They may be thinner too, than a regular bun, but actually are bigger in diameter. Our 4oz patties had a little bit of wiggle room on there, and I have to say it was the most delicious hamburger I've had on a thin bun. I also love the honey buns that this company makes, but at 250 calories a bun, I think I'll have to forgo that pleasure for now, and just eat off my 90 calorie bun.

If you are anything like my husband, you love a good burger! We have been buying pre-made fresh patties from the store and its 8.00 a package of 8 burgers. Throw in a dollar fifty for the buns, and two bucks for the cheese (unless you have those at home) and you have a grand total of 11.50 for 8 burgers. Divide that out, and you are looking at 1.43 a burger!

Nice! Considering even at the cheap fast food joints we would easily spend $12 a trip, and sometimes 3 trips a day, I think I am saving on money big time, not to mention calories. I can forget the mayo and be okay with it. Im not putting artificial ingredients in them to make me crave them. Im not charging 2.00 for a small burger. And I dont have the temptation of fries or sodas either.

Oh, I know it was a Curves day, but I'm headed off to the zoo instead. See ya~

Big Fat Liar

Ok Im a big fat liar, I said I was going to take lots of pics yesterday, but I forgot.

Sooooo.
After we had gotten all dressed up and ready we went to dinner, it was yucky and raining all day.


We went to a create your own stir fry place, and this is where I first discovered I like spinach.


I put brown rice, chinese yellow noodles, spinach, green peppers, green onions, corn, yukon gold potatoes, seitan (wheat meat), chicken, pork tenderloin, and beef sirloin in my bowl. I drenched it in teriyaki sauce, and had the most delicious bread with it (kinda like a pita, but its called rota bread) I also got a skewer of grilled shrimp with it.

Honestly, I ate about a third of it, then I took the rest home with me. I drank raspberry lemonade as well. Yum!

I forgot to put carrot and egg and of course, cheese in it. There were also a few other veggies I had wanted to try but ended up being too chicken for it.

It made a good three meals out of it, and its also an all you can eat place (but really, you only need one bowl, unless you eff it up somehow. Like putting horse radish sauce all over it.)

After dinner, I took a nap. LOL until about 9pm. It was the perfect day.

Again its raining and icky out today, where did the sun go? Its really depressing.

I rode on my bike for 20 minutes, 300 calories burnt. I'd have done more but I just dont have the motivation. Maybe Ill do another half hour later after biggest loser.

See ya all later

Tomorrow is a Curves Day

Wahoo! Tomorrow is the big big day!

We are celebrating our one year anniversary. It all starts with a Curves day!

I am going to be uploading lots and lots of pics tomorrow, so this is your official warning!

PIC HEAVY POST TOMORROW CLEAR THE AREA

see ya all then!

Raspberry Dreams

I bought a thing of raspberries (pint, package?... I'm a meat eater, not sure how this whole produce thing works...)


I used half to make a raspberry dessert sauce, which failed miserably.

I ate the other half as-is. I am not a big fan of the seeds or how hairy they are... Am I doing something wrong? haha! But they were delicious.


Havent tried golden raspberries!


I am a huge fan of the r-berry. Always have been. Its my favorite flavor of the berries. Not keen on strawberries or blueberries, or even cherries.

Or nightshade berries. LOL

Whats your favorite berry and why?

Marriage

This is how you know that you are married:

Me: Make sure you get next Saturday off so we can celebrate our anniversary
Hub: Sure thing babe.

A week later:

Him: Hey I got Saturday off, what are we doing to celebrate?
Me: I work all weekend.
Him: What?
Me: You can sit there and watch me...
Him: .... *blank stare*


Happy Anniversary!

Dont worry we are celebrating by going out to eat on Monday. I am so excited, I cant wait!

My arrrms!!

Ugh

So the Curves tag wouldnt register the bi/tri cep machine, no matter how many times I did it and the trainer couldnt figure it out either... Which is ok, I dont mind. Computers hate me. Im used to it.

What I am not used to though, is doing that stupid machine 15 times. My bis and tris are killing me.

Boohoohooo lol

At least I will have the sexiest arms on the block!

It was a (fantastic) Curves day

I got my CurveSmart tag today. I had to do the circuit about 4 times instead of the 2.5 to set it up.

The coach was telling me how another one of the owners set hers up and on her first time around she burned 400 calories. The woman was fit, but wanted to lose a little baby fat she had gained.

They say when you first start out, those who are less fit will burn fewer calories (around 100-200) and those who are more fit will burn upwards of 500.

I got measured and weighed, and although I didnt see my measurements, I did see my weight. I started Curves at 231 (229 without shoes) Today I weighed 226.

In 4 months I have lost 3 lbs lol :(

My body fat percentage was 48.00% when I signed up for Curves. Today it is 42.00%

In 4 months I have lost 6% body fat! And only 3lbs?? Me thinks I have lots more muscle mass now!

So I keep going round this circuit, I am dying. Sweating up a storm. Ugh! GASP! Ach!
It counts down how many machines you have left, it counts how many reps you do and which muscles you are working. It tells you whether or not you are working hard enough. One machine takes your heart rate, and if you are up a little too high, it automatically adjusts the rest of your workout to be easier. Cool, huh? When you are done, the display lights up and flashes, blinks, and it says "end" they call them the party lights. Although when you are done you dont feel like partying. More like napping.

I log in to see my work out and I have done very well for the first time and burned a total of 378 calories.

Thats right. Only 22 less than a woman in the prime of her life.

I am pretty damn pleased with myself!

The only thing I have to work on harder next time is this leg machine where you spread your legs and then bring them in, it works your inner thighs. I was so sore from riding yesterday though, I figured it was acceptable.

I will try harder on Monday, see where I can get to.

I am a little bummed I've not lost much weight but at the same time really happy that I have lost so much body fat. Before I was half fat, now I am almost 40-60!

its not always about the number on the scale but I will be damned if I dont let that stop me. I would love to be under 200 by the end of summer.

Strong! And Beautiful!

The other day, I posted a tweet on Twitter that made me sad after reading it later.

"spent hours getting ready today. felt really pretty. maybe one day ill even feel beautiful"

How sad is that?! I wasnt feeling sad when I typed it though. I was feeling good, pretty.

My husband is always telling me I am beautiful, sexy, hot. I never feel any of those though. I always feel like I am just "cute" because I am fat.

In fact, the word cute bothers me so much, I banned it from hubby's vocabulary, telling him it was a "fat word"

But today, today I felt beautiful. After riding my bike for an hour, I felt like I was something--someone-- special.

Maybe I wasnt feeling sexy or beautiful or awesome because I wasnt giving it my all. I wasnt pushing myself. I wasnt trying to change. I was uncomfortable in my own skin.

That is such a horrible feeling.

But after working out for an hour, sweat dripping off me, gasping for breath, I felt gorgeous. I felt like a winner. I still feel like it. Its amazing how your perspective can all change.

Will I always feel this good after working out? Can I be one of those work out junkies, always chasing after that natural high?

Probably not. But I can do it. I already proved it. Now I set the bar a little higher. I can do it again. I will do it again. I want to do it again. I like the feeling. I'd say its addictive.

I feel like I am bragging so much, my head is going to get swollen lol.

New World Recoooord!!!

I am positively beaming!

Ok, ok, it might be all the blood rushing to my head and back to my toes and back again, but I am really really proud of myself.

Fantastically so!!!

I told my husband, and my mom, and any one who will listen that I needed to up my cardio more. Curves just wasnt doing it alone! I needed more cardio, blah blah blah. Truth of the matter is, I just needed more exercise.

Today I did it though! The most I've ever done in my entire (fat) life! I biked for an hour on Stella. A whole HOUR.

Thats right ladies and gentlemen, ONE HOUR, NINE and a half miles, 856.4--I repeat-- EIGHT HUNDRED FIFTY SIX (point four) CALORIES!

Its nothing like my friend Sheryl can accomplish, after all she did the 5 Boro Bike Tour (in heels and a skirt no less) over 50 miles. I have done well... 9.5. But hey, thats over twice as much as I did last time, and I hope that I can keep adding miles and miles to my sessions.


I feel like I really accomplished something today, I am so proud of myself, I cant believe that I have done this. I set my mind to it, and I did it!

To be honest though, it really really sucked. The first twenty minutes were killer, and I was already sore and tired. I wanted to quit. But I kept making myself go just a bit farther. I would switch back and forth on the display between distance and calories. I would push myself, ok, get to xx amount of calories before this song was over.

After I hit 30 minutes, it didnt feel so tough anymore, I got in the zone, and it stayed that way for a bit, until I had ten minutes left.


I started getting a stitch in my side and my chest started to hurt, like I couldnt get enough air. I slowed down a little, and breathed in and out through my nose, several deep breaths. I told myself I am worth it, and if I can push through this little pain, then I will see big results. I feel it in my legs. They are like jelly.

I am so proud that I pushed myself that extra mile (or 5 lol) and that I made myself accomplish something. I have always been a quitter. An "eh thats good enough" type of person.

Now I can say I can do it. Not only can, but did. I DID ride an hour straight today. I DID do 5 extra miles and I DID burn over 850 calories. I AM amazing.

No more "What if I can't"

Just "What if I can?"

Sigh...

Curves didnt happen today. Though I cant really blame mom for not wanting to go. She is feeling poorly. Not very fair of me to drag her to the gym. I could have gone, yes, I know. But I dont like going by myself. At all.

Sorry.


Its just how I am. Maybe some day I will like working out enough to be able to go on my own, but for now, my anti-social self would rather stay at home.


Jillian and I may have a work out today. Also, if you are so inclined, you can go on a four day cruise to the Bahamas with Jillian Michaels and have a good hard workout and eat cleanly for a few days...

Prices start at $625 a person.

...Im not going, but if you go, send me your pics. That would be great.

Water and Bedrest

I drank loads of water today, and slept lots too. Feeling much better. I watched Biggest Loser, of course, and was going to ride Stella for one hour of the show, but could only manage 20 minutes. I hadnt eaten anything today, so I am surprised I really lasted that long.

Had a small dinner of chips and beef dip, then went back to bed. Good lord, I have slept all day. I have slept and slept and slept. Obviously my body needed it. I am still tired, could probably sleep some more.

Tomorrow is a Curves day. Well, today is, technically, as it is 1.30 am. I have to get there an hour early and set up my tag thing! Woot! Woot!

Soon I will be able to add things into my spreadsheet! I am so happy!

Biggest Loser!

Biggest Loser comes on in an hour, who will be kicked off this week! We are down to the final 5 soon to be the final 4!

Its so exciting and sad... I really want all of them to win.

Who will it beeeeee?!?



I am going to ride my stationary bike while I watch. Should make it at least an hour that way lol

Ungodly Sick

Good morning. Its 4 pm here. I just woke up.

This morning, at 7 am, I woke up and got some water. I also grabbed a piece of pizza, ate it, then went back to bed.

At 9:18 AM I woke up in incredible pain. It felt like heartburn, but much worse than usual. Curse that piece of pizza, I thought. CURSE YOU PIZZA!! I took my heartburn medicine and went back to bed...

But I never got any better. In fact, it all went downhill from there, and not in a good way. I was sick to my stomach. I couldnt breathe without sharp pain in my stomach, I was having hot and cold flashes. It felt like the stomach flu mixed with heartburn.

"Remember this feeling" I kept thinking, as I continued to get sick, "this is what it is to be fat"

The pain lasted another two and a half hours before I could get it under control again. I am not sure if it really was what I had eaten, or if I was just sick.

I know that I hadnt been digesting properly, because ...well, I saw my dinner on Sunday.

I didnt eat much Monday, all day. From 11-7 I had only had some popcorn. After that though, I was ravenous. I ate Arbys. Chicken Bacon Swiss with honey mustard sauce, with curly fries AND a cherry turnover. A few hours later, we ordered my favorite pizza from my favorite place. Meat feast with extra cheese. The pieces are small and square cut, but I still had like, 10.

Then I went to bed.

Then I woke up and that all started. 98% of me says I deserved what I got. The other 2% has said it could have been something that hadnt agreed with me.

The last time I was that sick, I had just gotten back from vacation with my dad. We returned with BBQ pulled pork from the best little place in TN, and I had made mac and cheese with it. Hubby (who was then just BF) came over and we all ate it. Everyone was happy, it was delicious. I woke up in the middle of the night in a hot sweat, I went downstairs to go to the bathroom, and promptly expelled my stomach's contents.

I was the only one who had gotten sick, and there was reason to believe that I had contracted the stomach flu, from my little cousin, who had had it a few days before I had seen her. I had held her and carried her around all day.

This was very very similar to that day.

Either way, no matter what it was, I wont forget.

Thank Goodness for Moms

Went to Mayberry to see mom today and to work out at Curves.


I walk in, there is a giant box on the floor.

Me: Whats with this box?
Her: I gotta ship it
Me: How are you going to do that in your tiny car?
Her: Im not. Thats why you drive.

I am driving, she rolls down the window and sticks out her head.

Me: Are you hot?
Her: No, it smells like pizza in here.
Me: blink... blink...
Her: I cant stand it (as she lights a cig)

Later

Her: Hey I have some febreeze if you want to spray your car
Gramma: Why did you smoke in her car?
Her: No it smells like pizza.

At Curves:

Me: Ma, you need to do it this way
Her: What are you, the Curves Police?
Me: Yes. Yes I am.

At the movies with Gramma:

Gramma: Did you buy your mom a sappy card for mothers day?
Me: No I gave her a bunch of money on a gift card
Gramma: Your mom is getting older dont you think she would like a card that makes her go AWWWW
Me: ...Do you know we are talking about MOM?
Gramma: You didnt want to get her a card?
Me: She would just throw it away!
Gramma: Fine
Me: ....Was I supposed to buy her a card, did she say she wanted one?
Gramma: No I just thought you would be nice
Me: I was nice, I got her exactly what she wanted.
Gramma: She's your mom you buy her whatever you want.

Thank goodness for moms... and grammas... they make good blogs.

Another installment of stalling...

My weight loss and inches have erm stalled.
I have been eating on plan, even shoving some veggies into my usual meals and eating them.
Curves, 3x a week. Strength training.

Still, the weight and the inches arent budging. I have more muscles. I feel them. I cant see them but I know they are there.

As much as I hate to admit it, I need to do cardio.

As in... LOTS of cardio. Dangit. Screw you cardio.

Why do I have to do it? Well I have to. Things arent moving on their own anymore, theres only so much strength training and diet can do. Not to mention I store all my flab on my gut. Its still 1/2" bigger than my bust, which is really annoying. Hubby said it might be the last thing to go. I only have one response to that.

F@!K THAT!

Thats the only area I care about! I like my big booty and my erm twins!

So cardio. Help me. I am imploring you.

I will do it to the best of my ability, sans mouth breathing. Stella and I will be tight once again. Like, super tight. Just like my buns.

Help me shed some inches and I will be ever grateful.


I cant ignore cardio anymore. Its something that I have to do. I used to do it all the time. Our gym has a broken elliptical, hope it gets fixed soon. I love to run on it, especially since its so low impact. And it feels great to stretch muscles I rarely get to use to their full extent. I will have to call the office tomorrow and ask. Maybe walk down there. Who knows.

Something wicked this way comes....

Excuse the Harry Potter reference.

We have been getting some wicked storms lately, not as bad as TN and down south in general, but still pretty harsh for our little neck of the woods. And its right outside my door. Today on the news, there were 12 powerline poles snapped at the base of the pole on the street over. There were also 2 traffic lights out, and not to mention loads of felled trees.

The crack of lightning and the boom of thunder shake our apartment.

Couple this with construction outside my door whenever its not raining, those scant few hours a day, even on weekends, and it makes for a very nerve wracking situation.

With all the beeping and booping and cracking and booming, its a wonder I have not climbed the walls yet.

Luckily I still have power. 1500 people in my area dont right now, and I am fortunate enough to have only flickering lights. I have already prepared the candles and gotten the flashlights round.

Hopefully the worst is over now.

Mouth Breather...

I have been noticing lately that I am a mouth breather, but only at night. From what I've read this is fairly normal.

I also breath heavily through my mouth when I exercise hard, and this is erm bad. I guess. I dunno. I just googled it. Seriously.

Anyway this article states that if you are working out too hard and breathing through your mouth then you are no longer doing aerobic exercise, that is, using fat as fuel. You are anaerobic, using sugars to fuel your body. Hmmm. But how will I work out harder if I am limited to being a nose breather?

Apparently its like anything else, it takes time to build it up. Sure you may go slower at first, but eventually, your body will catch up to you. I always wondered if there was actual science behind it and not just some crystal gripping nonsense from hippie runners. No offense to runners, but its not something I am physically capable of or even want to entertain. Running sucks. I couldnt if my life depended on it. Seriously. Not because I am a fattie, even when I was skinny I couldnt run longer than a few moments before I got sharp, shooting pain in my ankle.

As you breathe through your nose, your body is regulating the amount of carbon dioxide in the blood. The faster you exhale this, the more your blood vessels constrict, therefore cutting out oxygen to vital organs and muscles.

But, but but.... I am a mouth breather! What do I do! Simple, breathe through pursed lips. Like something is hot, or you are about to whistle. Also, cold air apparently is not good. It takes extra energy to warm it up, if you breath through your mouth hole as opposed to your nose hole, and while you would think, hey burning extra calories, its wasted energy.

Food for thought. I guess I will try to keep my yapper shut while I work out. As for the sleeping thing, well, the only thing is I drool. A lot. Good thing I have my own pillow lol

It was a Curves day... sorta....

Question time kiddos. What do thunderstorms have to do with me only getting 4 hours of sleep? Not much. I had an early appointment today and I could only catch 4 hours of sleep, but then the thunderstorms were really loud.

After the appointment, we went to Curves but neither of us were really trying. I still got my heart rate up but it was more half hearted than anything else.

You still get points for going though, right? Attendance credits? No??


UGH FINE

I'll try harder. In fact, its my goal to make it round the circuit 2.5 times instead of just 2. You are supposed to do it 2.5 times to get the full 30 minutes, but right now its just been too hard to do. I am still impressed I went three days this week.

Maybe next week I can buy my little tag. That would be cool. Happy anniversary to meeeeeee

I am going to be doing a contest soon, so keep your eyes open for that.

Nightmares and Rubber Gloves

Last night I had lots of nightmares. Actually the same one over and over again.

I was calling hubby but he wasnt answering. I was sick with worry, panicking, and just feeling incredibly lonely. Then when I woke up, he was gone. At work, but that didnt stop me from having a mini-heart attack haha (I even woke up and asked him if he was leaving for work, but fell back asleep and hadnt remembered it when I woke up)

I texted him and told him about my nightmares and we think its probably stress or anxiety on something. Lord knows what. Probably all this working out hahaha I need to see some results!

I was going to take a happy pill but instead I whipped out a pair of rubber gloves and got my cleaning supplies, turned on my ipod and cranked the tunes. I danced as I scrubbed the toilet and the tub, the bathroom sink. I sang as I swept.

After it was done, I was sweaty but happy. I felt like I had cleared away some of my emotional soap scum as well as the stuff on the shower walls.

Who knew a little elbow grease would cure what ails ya?

I am feeling much better now, and hubby is coming home in about 20 minutes. We have a lot more cleaning to do, but I think it will be easier with the two of us.

This construction is driving me nuts, its all BEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEEEEP and the apartment shaking and today we lost power for a few moments. Yah. POWER.

What are they doing? Heck if I know, internet. But its here to stay until November.

Maybe thats what I am stressed on. Or it could be that hubby is looking for a new job, we want to move to Mayberry, but that requires a lot of money that we dont have right now. If we did though, that would be nice.

I made a center pull yarn ball last night. I made two, actually, but one FAILED. I wound it too tightly and it wouldnt pull easily. In fact, it kind of feels like that for me. I am too wound up for my own good and I cant pull free. I made another, paying careful attention to keep the winding loose (sad that it took more concentration to do that) and it works perfectly.

I have been under calories all week I am very proud of myself. I am going to continue to do this, as in 9 days its my anniversary. Woohoo! I hope that we get to celebrate on the actual day, but if not, then we can celebrate another day.

Tomorrow is Curves. I wanted to go today but my poor mom has been so tired lately, I decided we would go tomorrow as originally planned.

Never Give Up

Never give in.
Finish what you started.

Basically, tell your inner devil to shut the f^&@k up.

I went on a bike ride today, after going to Curves (second day in a row, and second time this week)

I had a Frosty from Wendys (small) and a grilled chicken sandwich, for a total of 600 calories (my breakfast and lunch, since I didnt eat before Curves.)

I was in the fat burning zone the whole time in Curves, but I still havent bought the Curvesmart tag. I think once we can go three times a week then I will buy it. Also having money helps.

Secondly, today was so nice. It was forecast to rain today, but luckily the skies are blue blue blue. It is also humid humid humid. We have had a lot of rain recently, which was causing it to be humid.

We rode about an hour, maybe 45 minutes. I burned 396 calories (bye bye Frosty)
I am exhausted. I need a nap.

Friday we are going to Curves even though I said we would go tomorrow, truth of the matter is, I would go tomorrow anyway, but Friday I am in town for an errand, so it only makes sense to squeeze in my workout at that point.

Also we have a friend coming over so the rest of today (post nap, of course) and tomorrow will be spent scrubb-a-dubb-dubbing

Talkin' Bout My Motivation!

This morning I got a text:

"I really dont like going to Curves :( "

Then another shortly after

"I know I am a bad mom"

I was woken with these, and there fore in a very sour mood.

I replied with

"Fine, Ill just cancel my membership"

Yes every syllable was snarky and probably very rude.

It was followed with

"I'll go anyway"
"Come up earlier"
"Maybe Im just waiting dreading it"
"We will decide after we go today [whether to cancel or not]"


Two things can be discerned from these messages: A) My mom is a textaholic, and only sends a maximum of 5 words at a time. Shes rapid fire.
2) She really did like going, but didnt have the motivation.

I went an hour earlier than planned and we went for a drive around town with the top down on her Audi TT Roadster, singing outloud to the iPhone blaring, disturbing my quiet town. We went tanning. We went shopping. We went to Curves. We did our rounds and we were both tired, hot, but happy.

I was so bummed thinking I would miss yet another day of Curves, that I had lost my workout partner, and all my motivation went out the door. But you know what? Just because my mom occasionally kicks me in the ass to get my head on straight doesnt mean I cant do the same to her.

Thanks for going, Ma.

See ya tomorrow. Hahahaha

Worthless

UGH

Didnt go to Curves Friday
Looked forward to it all weekend
Then mom gets sick.

so of COURSE I dont go.

Now I feel worthless.

Im going tomorrow DANGIT



But of course it wasnt a worthless day, got to spend lots of time with hubby, which is just what I needed, was missing him. Also found a house on the same street as my parents up for rent and really wanting to move there! Also there is another one in town (owned by the same people) and I think its also in a good neighborhood, called him and he said to call back next month for a tour as they arent quite finished....

Now I am wanting to work like a maniac so I can save up all my money and buy out my lease so I can move there.

Ahhhhhhhhhh so exciting!!! I wonder if I can do it! Ill probably need the first month and last months rent too and a deposit....

But both options are cheaper than where we are living now, one of the houses had been completely renovated, it had suffered from a fire, so everything had to be replaced inside. That is the more expensive home, the other is cheaper but I will have to see both before making a decision if I even want to move into either. Right now working a bunch and saving money.

Hubby is on the lookout for a new job as well, so he can help me too haha :) Dont feel bad for him though, because I let him sell my Wii so he could have an XBOX 360.

I say "so he can have it" but I like it too

The Good The Bad and The Ugly

Btw, as a side note, that is my favorite western (truth be told, I think its the only one I've seen all the way through)

The Good:

I'm sore today

The Bad:

I weigh 223.8

The Ugly:

This is down from 225.6 yesterday.



I guess I really have to do both exercise and food monitoring. Sigh. Oh well. Its a challenge. Yes I weigh myself everyday. Yes I know you arent supposed to. But If I did what I was supposed to, I wouldnt be a fattie now would I?

Plus its dataaaa I love dataaaaaa.

200 and 400

Woah hooooo

What did this girl do?

I must be nuts.

Either that, or I was burning with desire.

Could have been that Lady Gaga that helped me along.

I did 200 crunches today.

If that isnt impressive enough

I also biked 4.44 miles and burned a total of 400 calories.

Woo FREAKING hoo. I am strong.



There was one point though, where I felt like I couldnt go on. I wanted to stop. I was half way there. A little more, 2.57 miles to be exact. I wanted to do 4.0 but I was battling myself. I had already done double of my last run you cant expect more out of me?

I started crying. It was partly the song. Partly because I was hitting that limit-that breaking point- where I thought I simply couldnt do any more.

I kept pushing though. Pain is fear leaving the body. Stress is how you make changes to your body. If you dont push it then how can you expect results?

It was my mantra. And let me tell you what, my tears dried up really quickly for two reasons

A) Its difficult to for me to do two things at once. I cant cry and peddle. Im not talented enough for that.

B) Sweat stings when it gets in your eyes, and crying, well it makes it worse.

Im not ashamed that I cried. Ok, a little at the song, because it didnt really mean anything on an emotional level to me. But it was another break through moment. I love those. I need those. I crave them.

Also I had two protein shakes today, one for lunch and one as a post bike ride thing. It tastes like liquid off brand peanut butter cups. If I could just get it to taste like a Reeses....

Eyebrows.

Eyebrows.

In all the time that I was in high school the only degrading comment about my appearance was about my eyebrows. This one ugly girl (not exaggerating, she got hit with the ugly stick HARD and probably multiple times) who had NO eyebrows except a thin line of single hairs, with the others growing in, told me that I had ugly eyebrows.

They were unruly. Unkempt. Ugly. Not at all attractive.

Firstly, it bothered me that these older guys were laughing after she had said that. And this was when I was much shyer than I am now. I thought those boys were laughing because I was ugly. But truth be told, I was hot.

5ft5, curvy, long blonde hair, big blue eyes, sweet smile, shy. Tan.

So it wasnt me they were laughing at.

In fact, most of highschool I was good looking. I had quite a few admirers (who never stepped up and said anything, only found out after I was older, fatter, and dating Hubby. Thanks for the useless information.)

But for some reason, that comment really bothers me. I obsess over eyebrows now. I am drawn to people who have great eyebrows (Jillian Michaels, Kirstie Allie) and repulsed by anyone who has dead caterpillars for eyebrows.

I miss you high school body. It was less than 5 years ago I had you. I will get you back though. And I can't wait. Come back to meeeee

A muu muu.

The thing I am worried about most, if I continue on with my destructive habits is ending up in a muu muu. Yes I know the health risks and yes there are worse things than being in a muu muu like not being able to wipe your own ass or being able to get out of bed, yada yada blah blah blah

But the muu muu scares me.

Yes its a nice floral pattern but honestly that isnt a good selling point. And Homer has a little cape. Well its not little but again, not a strong selling point.

I am trying to think of some sort of benefits to being fat, and I can't find any. Other than being able to eat as much of anything you want, and any sane person will tell you that if you eat in moderation, you CAN have anything you want.

So why are we so afraid? Afraid to put down the fork and throw away the pork rinds? What drives us to eat frosting out of a can before the brownies are even done baking? Why can't we put a stop to it? Is it because we are just big fatasses who cant control our actions? Am I one?

Yes. Yes I am.

Do I have to be?

No, no I dont.

Will it be easy?

Doubt it.

We didnt go to Curves yesterday as we couldnt coordinate our schedules, but we decided that Fridays are just too difficult, and have made up our minds to work out Thursdays instead.

Monday Wednesday Thursday those are the Curves days.... I just sang that outloud.